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... Send *omany a private message | | | *omany's profile:Hi, I'm Romany, 42 from the UK, I run my own business, from home, have 2 children, and 2 grandsons. Before I tell you why I love helping here on Dear Cupid, can I just say, this is not a dating site, I am not looking for a partner, So please do not contact me with personal details of yourself, or asking for mine, what is below is all I'm prepared to disclose. Thankyou, and sorry for that ickle rant.
I was asked what qualifies me to help people? nothing, just life lessons, and I've had alot, Pregnant at 17, Married for 13 years to childhood sweetheart who was in RAF at 8 month pregs, 2 kids by 19, cheated on 3 times, before I cheated back, with one guy for 18 months, then finally left him few years later, taking my children and running far far away, at aged 30, (for the safety of my children) We moved 8 times in as many months, cos he kept finding us.
Became bankrupt, coz I stopped working as my children got involved with unsavoury characters, they needed me and several hours of counselling, then just as things become enjoyable, my mum died.
A year later when my children were 18 and 17, and both had settled, and had become well rounded young adults. I had a mental breakdown, that was 7 years ago now, lost 8 months of my life, now I suffer with clinical depression, which I have pretty much controlled through medication, and agrophobia, which is also somewhat under control.
I have learnt to become compassionate despite the pit falls, sometimes too compassionate, but I've also learnt how to fight.
I was single for a few years after marriage breakup, and since then I've had a few long term relationships, been cheated on, and also cheated, been used, never been loose tho, and never had one night stands, Also was a mistress for 2.5 years(mainly cos of fear of attachment and committment, plus he was gorgeous and stirred things that have been dead in me for years) I regret being a mistress, and I feel guilty as hell toward his wife, we only ended because he started an affair with her best friend, and apparently this is the 3rd best friend he has done this with, but It was a blessing it ended, I wasn't really stable for relationship, I fell for him big time, but it taught me alot about heartbreak and healing.
Currently I'm single, but dating. I want the whole romance story, fall in love and live happily ever after, I wont settle for anyone though, and I dont believe that you have to fight tooth and nail to make a relationship work, if it works it works, if it dont, get out, you will survive. I also believe that if you think you've met your soul mate, but the other aint feeling it, then it aint right, move on, because I'm a big believer,that if its meant to be, it will be, fate will bring you back together someday.
I answer all questions, genuinely and sincerely, I really want to help you to find some resolution to your problems.
As for what makes me tick, my family, my friends, I surround myself with those I love, I'm quite content with my lot.
Oh, and In life I'm quiet, but on here I type alot, and use more words than neccessary. lol.
Romany. |
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Is it wrong to have sex with a prostitute? I'm married.
Q. I love my wife, and have never cheated on her, and have no fantasies about doing so in the future. However, what if your wife just flat out refuses to do something that you are curious about? What if you want to experience a threesome at lea...
A. 1 September 2010: hooker, i'd be devastated, beyond forgiving even.
Have you spoken to her about this?
Is losing all that you have with her worth it?
and most importantly, could you cope with knowing that you'd been physical with someone else, and that all tha... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have sex with a prostitute? I'm married.
Q. I love my wife, and have never cheated on her, and have no fantasies about doing so in the future. However, what if your wife just flat out refuses to do something that you are curious about? What if you want to experience a threesome at lea...
A. 1 September 2010: Are you really telling us that you resent your wife for not letting you drop the shopping off at the back door?
I'd understand you being disappointed, but resentful?
Personally I think prostitutes offer a service, which for a single bloke, is cool,... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to fancy my cousin?
Q. hi im 17 my cousin is 25 my whole family (all aunts uncles cousins etc.) went out 4 a meal and a few drinks in the hotel afterwards , my family and my cousins family were still there late in the night when i was going i said goodbye 2 my cousin and ...
A. 31 August 2010: Cerberus is totally spot on, he's covered everything, and I dont have anything to add.
Please take heed of what Cerberus has told you, the consequences really are as bad as he has said.... (read in full...)
15 years ago we slept together but now he wont?
Q. We spent two seperate nights together years ago, nothing happened just a fumble, I knew he fancied me then and the feeling was mutual. 15 years after the fumble I saw him again the first night we walked and talked he was sweet, but we slept alone. ...
A. 31 August 2010: I'm thinking along the same lines as Tim here.
I think it is probable that due to what you had before years ago, he is possibly keeping his distant out of fear of getting involved as he was hurt once before, or because he is afraid of ruining a frie... (read in full...)
Am I an idiot?
Q. All right, here goes... [before I begin, let me say...excuse my novel. ;]] I've actually been debating doing something like this for the last month or so. This isn't exactly something I want to discuss with the people around me who know both ...
A. 27 August 2010: I know this isn't what you want to hear, but......
The only person who can answer this, is you,
We all have out own views on how we would or have behaved in similar circumstances, but no one really knows what is in your heart and your the only per... (read in full...)
Am I an idiot?
Q. All right, here goes... [before I begin, let me say...excuse my novel. ;]] I've actually been debating doing something like this for the last month or so. This isn't exactly something I want to discuss with the people around me who know both ...
A. 27 August 2010: I know this isn't what you want to hear, but......
The only person who can answer this, is you,
We all have out own views on how we would or have behaved in similar circumstances, but no one really knows what is in your heart and your the only per... (read in full...)
I get turned on by girls breasts in porn does this make me bi?
Q. I was just wonderng, could i be bisexual? I have never had a relationship with a girl, but never a long one with a guy either, and feel most of the time more attracted to guys than girls. But when i watch porn i get really turned on by both the guy ...
A. 26 August 2010: No, not bi, not even neccessarily bi curious, and there are very few women out there, who can say they have never been aroused by the thought, sight or scent of another woman.
Its really quite natural, alot of women like to watch girl on girl porn... (read in full...)
Is this a date or just friends meeting up?
Q. I need some advice (hopefully from guys and well as girls). So I'm meeting a guy from work for lunch at the weekend. His suggestion. We've talked a few times at work, and he drops compliments from time to time, but we've never been out together, ...
A. 26 August 2010: Your friend is right, everything does add up as 'a date'
However, because this guy hasn't actually said, "do you want a date" I would see it as two people meeting up for lunch, so dress casual, as you would if you were meeting girlfriend in that... (read in full...)
Best friend needs advice from me. what do I say?
Q. okay so i have a friend and she really is confused on this guy. i want to give her adcive but i don't want to be wrong. So here's the problem: She and this guy talked for like ever, and soon they started talking about liking each other, and kissing ...
A. 26 August 2010: I would just tell her, He's immature, and she dont need a lad like him complicating her life.
He sounds like a bit of a wally to be honest, i'm sure there are some nicer lads at school, start pointing out fitties, and steer her attention to a lad ... (read in full...)
Being ignored?
Q. I am a female...who is on a dating site...I get more attention than I can handle...and guys are literally proposing online...I am not sure why ...but they do....I met this one man....that out of them ALL I felt I clicked with....we talked a ...
A. 26 August 2010: I'm sorry, i got to say, i think you have a predator on your hands here, he can say whatever he likes to you, your not to know any difference, and your probably one of several that he is saying it too, the disappearance for family emergencies, ... (read in full...)
Can it "work out" for me?
Q. I am a cheerleader, and want to be liked, and noticed and stand out, and lose like 5 pounds ( i am 125) . not much. i was just wondering what would make me funny, flirty, naturaly pretty, skinny, and were to get cute clothes? also want to know some ...
A. 26 August 2010: I think cheerleading will get you noticed, and 5lbs will come off, (if you have 5lbs of fat to lose) if you eat properly, 3 balanced healthy meals, stay away from crisps, (potato chips) chocolate and chips, (french fries)etc, and drink loads of ... (read in full...)
Left alone
Q. I just got my heart broken cause my ex wanted to be with his female friend and i thought he really love like he say! sometimes i feel good and sometimes i feel bad like its my fault ! when we was together he denied it! when i tryin to get back with ...
A. 26 August 2010: Do you want him back? Is he really worth it.
He has dumped you, he has told you he has slept with his female friend, he has said, dont call, so.........dont call, and move on.
I know this sounds harsh, and i'm sorry, but why would you want someone ... (read in full...)
I talked bad about him, I feel bad! I want him back!
Q. Hi there, I need your help so desperately. My boyfriend and I were together for 14 years. We have two boys together. A month ago he broke up with me because I bad talk him with his sister and his ex. I know I was wrong to do that but I was hurt that ...
A. 24 August 2010: Come on, think about this and put it into perspective, he hasn't just done this to you, he has done this to his children too, he cheated on you, then he left you, now he is making you feel like he is in the right for being angry at you!!!!, and then ... (read in full...)
Over 65 and my wife no longer wants sex
Q. My wife has no more interest in sex. When I ask her what the problem is? She just says that she has lost all interest in sex. My question is, If I have sex with another woman would that be cheating? P.S. We are both over 65....
A. 24 August 2010: To me, cheating is cheating, even with consent from your partner, but I do know that some couples are ok with the spouses having (safe) sex with others due to illness, however, this is usually after every other avenue has been explored.
Tisha has ... (read in full...)
Not sure what to make of this guy.....
Q. Hi everyone I have a quick question for you all and would love your opinion. There is this guy at the local pub where myself and some friends hang out a few nights a week after work. He has introduced himself to us and sits with us and has a d...
A. 23 August 2010: I reckon he fancies ya, and is having an attack of the 'jelly wobbles' in his tummy when he makes eye contact with you, I get them when i meet someone I really fancy, its really annoying as I can't get more than one word out. lol. and if I do manage ... (read in full...)
I don't think he likes me as much as I like him!
Q. Been with my boyfriend for 6 months now. At the beginning of our relationship he was constantly saying how amazing I was and complimenting me, I found it a bit much at times as i had not long come out of a 4 year relationship and i didnt just want ...
A. 23 August 2010: Yes I have, and looking back now, I really wish I'd have sat him down and asked him, Coz he was great, but I was scared and ran, it was such a better option than putting myself at risk of being rejected, At the time!
I think you should ask him, dont... (read in full...)
My partner is having "family" outings with his ex wife and child...
Q. my partner and i have been together 4 years now. we dont live together as its been a very tough relationship and i have insecurity issues etc. he says he wants to and will when i become more secure etc. anyway ive just found out via his 16 yr...
A. 23 August 2010: I think this is very admirable of both parents, I have a friend, who up until her ex emigrated across the other side of the world, went bowyling, cinema and out for meals weekly with her ex from the time they split up when their son was 7 till he ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a famous guy and wonder what this means about my long distance relationship!
Q. I am in love with a famous guy, he is not really a celebrity. I have a boyfriend in wich we have been in a long distance relationship for 5 years, and I am afraid that I might lose interest in him. This famous guy tht I am having feelings for, I ...
A. 20 August 2010: Sounds to me like the long distance relationship has started to take its toll, and your no longer satisfied, so you've idolised a famous celebrity as being your ideal.
I dont think it means anything more than that, however, you gotta sort out this... (read in full...)
He wants my virginity as a bootycall
Q. I'm 21 he is 29, lately he has been wanting to take it to the next level (intimacy), the thing is im still a virgin and not sure if he his the right one ... After being friends for the past few years, I asked where he sees our "relatio...
A. 19 August 2010: I'm so sorry, it is the most horrible feeling ever to find that someone you thought alot of, totally disrespects you.
Firstly i'd be grateful that you found out before you took your relationship to another level, and secondly, just tell him it aint... (read in full...)
How can I get over these invasive visions of him reconciling with her?
Q. Ive been dating this wonderful man for about four months now...and we are planning on getting married and spending the rest of our lives together...he is a soldier and is currently in korea...he is divorced and has been for a couple of years prior ...
A. 19 August 2010: You have to learn to handle this, you have no other option, he has given you as much reassurance as he can, and you know that he was the one who opted out of the attempted reconcilliation.
What you need to do, is realise how important you are to h... (read in full...)
What can I do when my boyfriends penis is too small and cant feel him inside me?
Q. MOD NOTE: OP's own title: hi everyone. i am a 20 year old female and i have been dating my boyfriend for 2 months now. i am starting to get very close to him and i love our conversation, i love all our time together, and i feel that we can go a long...
A. 19 August 2010: I'm wondering if his inability to sustain an erection is mental problem rather than physical.
I'm quite sure if he'd managed to sustain an erection, the sex would have been ok, maybe in the past, a girlfriend has mocked him for his size, and beca... (read in full...)
Should he stay or should he go?
Q. Okay, so. After my birthday in november i started seeing one of my exs again - we had split up as we'd both changed a bit. I had cheated on him too, but he didnt know that when we split. (mistake, long story, blahblah) We were seeing eachothe...
A. 18 August 2010: I can't work out if he was down alley way with his ex or some other random mate at the club, but if i'm honest, it dont matter, he went out with you, and you shouldn't have had to be guarding him all night, it sounds like your kinda blaming yourself ... (read in full...)
Advice on secretive ways to keep in touch
Q. Hi guys, Well, My girlfriend recently moved from New York To Arizona. I am stuck here in New York. Her mom never liked to see us together. EVER. She tried to separate us many times. Of course, we always got back together. Thats love. You cannot...
A. 18 August 2010: Can i ask, do you know what is her mothers problem with you? and also how old is your girlfriend?... (read in full...)
My Plan to get back with my girl (please critique)
Q. I need help with this situation, as I'm slightly confused. 5 days ago, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in 3 weeks, as she is off working at a camp over the summer. We have been dating for 4 months and we haven't seen each other on a consiste...
A. 18 August 2010: Hello, you've got yourself in a right pickle, sounds like you've been doing alot of thinking.
I think whats happened here, is because of her being away, when she comes home, its become so intense the fun has gone, and I do think that is a situ... (read in full...)
Please help I want to be with her
Q. Ok there is a girl that I really really like I've only known her for 6 months but it feels like I've known her for years I have told her that I like her but she never tells me how she feels towards me this has me unsettled I don't think it's for me ...
A. 18 August 2010: Hiya,
Well I think you need to honest with her, its hard to see the subtle hints when you really want someone, and she may be feeling a bit overwhelmed or just enjoying playing the dating game and keeping you wanting, but if the dating side is real... (read in full...)
I love my b/f, but wonder if I might be a lesbian?
Q. Right, I don’t really know what to say but, I'm 17 years old. I have my first proper boyfriend and I really love him, he’s the only person who has ever made me cum. But the thing is, I get slightly turned on by the thought of doing things with ...
A. 16 August 2010: Your neither, your quite normal.
I have visited 'the other side' and your right to assume that girls know what girls need/want/like etc, but I personally dont get the emotional stability from a woman, I like a man, with his over opinionated ways... (read in full...)
After 4 and a half years... do I stay or do I go?
Q. I've been with my bf for 4 1/2 years. He is my fist and only serious bf and ever since i fell in love with him i had my future planned out. He loves me so much and is very good to me and talks about getting married all the time. I have been sure ...
A. 16 August 2010: Good Advice there from Vintage, I'm wondering whether we have same friend, lol.
My friends husband put a kitchen floor in, and after he finished he put the fridge freezer, tumble drier and washing machine back, next day, in her new kitchen, (she... (read in full...)
Why do men sexually abuse girls?
Q. hi all. ive asked this question before, but got no answers so here it is again... why do men sexually abuse girls? what makes them do it? i have been molested from the age 6-9 and then again at 12-16 by a different man. why was i abused? i blame ...
A. 14 August 2010: You know deep down its not your fault, its the sickness in the man that makes him, and not all men are like this, you've just been very very unfortunate to meets ones like it, and for this i'm totally gutted for you.
You need help coming to term... (read in full...)
Why do men sexually abuse girls?
Q. hi all. ive asked this question before, but got no answers so here it is again... why do men sexually abuse girls? what makes them do it? i have been molested from the age 6-9 and then again at 12-16 by a different man. why was i abused? i blame ...
A. 14 August 2010: You know deep down its not your fault, its the sickness in the man that makes him, and not all men are like this, you've just been very very unfortunate to meets ones like it, and for this i'm totally gutted for you.
You need help coming to term... (read in full...)
Worried about my first threesome this weekend!
Q. Help! I am having my first threesome this weekend. It involves my fiance and another man who is a complete stranger. What should I do? What should I expect. Any ideas will be appreciated....
A. 14 August 2010: No threesome is based on making love, its purely animalistic and as long as you got these things sorted in your head, then just enjoy. things will happen naturally if your comfortable.
Its not something i've done, and i've heard alot of horror stor... (read in full...)
Sleeping With Adopted Blood Sister
Q. My Sister was adopted when i was 2 years old and when i was 18 i managed to track her down and went to meet her, at the time i was still living at our biological parents house and my sister decided she wanted to meet our mum and see what she was ...
A. 14 August 2010: You draw the line, I know you've not grown up together, but you share genes, so you must stop this, its morally wrong, she's your sister, albeit half sister, but still your sister.
Your in relationship, let this infatuation go with your half sist... (read in full...)
My fetus is at high risk for Down Syndrome and I don't know what to do.
Q. hi im just writing because i need some 1 to talk to im 19 years old and 20 weeks pregnant with my first child yesterday i found out that my baby is at high risk of having down syndrome i dont know what to do .. dont know if i can handle a chil...
A. 11 August 2010: Grrrr, blooming computer, I dont like this touch pad thingy.........
Ignore the one below, read this one!!
I had a friend who gave birth at 18 to a downs daughter, she went on to have 3 more children, and her downs daughter is now in a... (read in full...)
My fetus is at high risk for Down Syndrome and I don't know what to do.
Q. hi im just writing because i need some 1 to talk to im 19 years old and 20 weeks pregnant with my first child yesterday i found out that my baby is at high risk of having down syndrome i dont know what to do .. dont know if i can handle a chil...
A. 11 August 2010: I had a friend who gave birth at 18 to a downs daughter, she went on to have 3 more children, and her downs daughter is now in an independant living home, doing very well, I met this lady as we shared pregnancies, because
I was also given a very... (read in full...)
Is she hitting up on me!? What do I do?
Q. can you help? i live an average life in uni, but i have a best friend and she is really cool and sweet but a bit too friendly recently. she is just my bestest friend, shes had more boyfriends and break ups than days in a year, and when she does ...
A. 10 August 2010: My takes on this is she's promiscuous because she has no self respect, the fact you respect her, and know her for her, and she feels comfortable and accepted, she probably has developed feelings for you, confused because she may have never had ... (read in full...)
Why can't I have my happiness...?
Q. Its weird that I give advice and Im a love sick lonley girl. Basicly I only pull guys if they're drunk so obviously they remember the next morning that Im not the best dish on the tabe.. They never call me back and i see my pretty mates pull eas...
A. 9 August 2010: I'm sorry, this is gonna sound harsh, but I need to try and kick you out of this pity party your on.
First off the only problem you have is your own personal views you have on yourself, and I bet it stems from somthing that that was said or insi... (read in full...)
Is this bleeding just a symptom of the implant?
Q. so i am having this really long period at the moment, it has been going for 2 weeks and 3 days so far, and showing no signs of stopping. i did get a bit of a break where it went away last weekend(saturday and sunday), but not totally, i just had...
A. 9 August 2010: Prolonged periods of bleeding are quite common with the implant, injection and the Marina coil, some times womens periods can stop altogether, some women (like myself) bleed 28 days of the month and then a week off, and I gained 2 stone, lol, hence ... (read in full...)
Her word against his
Q. i feel like im being manipulated by my girlfriend, how do you catch her out? one day out of the blue she told me my good mate said bad things to her parents about me, i confront my friend he said it didn't happen, i ask her father he did not know...
A. 9 August 2010: Hello,
From reading your question, i am thinkin you are the same person who wrote this question too.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/who-is-lying-my-girlfriend-or-my-best.html
I'm afraid, that even without having the prior knowledge of... (read in full...)
He says he is nervous around me and I would like to change that.
Q. I dated a guy for a year and then we broke up. We've tried remaining friends, and it has been on and off. After 2 months of not talking, he called me b/c of some problems he ran into with his gf. We started talking and hanging again...which I ...
A. 9 August 2010: I'm really sorry to say this, and I dont want to upset you, but I honestly dont think he wants to be comfortable around you, it sounds like you've given him every opportunity to hang with you and he isn't responding.
I think he has made the deci... (read in full...)
Terrible University experience...
Q. I am having a terrible university experience! All the people i know that go to university are having a great time and love it. I find myself very lonely and sometimes not enjoying what im taking either. I'm a music student and though i love music, ...
A. 8 August 2010: Hi Amanda,
I haven't been to uni, but I did move well away from my family and friends at 18 to start a new life, I was lonely and missed, not only my family, but the old me too, I hated watching comedy's on tele as I found laughing alone real... (read in full...)
How do I convince my friend she is being so stupid to go out with a much older man?
Q. Okay so my friend met this guy on myspace who wants to "take her out." usually i wouldnt care so much only my friend is 13 and he is 27. she says "i dont care i need affection blah blah blah". I'm trying to convince her that she is being stupid but ...
A. 8 August 2010: There is something not right with this bloke, there is absolutely no reason why a 27 year old would have anything in common with a 13 year old, I see red flags everywhere.
I would again warn her, telling her what you have learnt from here, i.e Ille... (read in full...)
How can I find proof of his cheating IF he is cheating?
Q. Dear cupid, how can I know if my man is cheating on me or has just grown cold?...
A. 8 August 2010: Eve has given you some good advice there, but i would just like to add, please dont investigate him to PROVE he is guilty, as you'll end up taking something quite innocent and turning it into something which isn't, investigate to see why he is ... (read in full...)
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