A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We spent two seperate nights together years ago, nothing happened just a fumble, I knew he fancied me then and the feeling was mutual. 15 years after the fumble I saw him again the first night we walked and talked he was sweet, but we slept alone. The second I shared his bed but he didn't even try it on with me no kiss nothing we talked til we fell asleep same on the third. He had friends in the group that he has slept with recently and I know he has slept around, so why didn't he want to sleep with me? Why didn't he even try it on with me? He knew so much about what had happened to me in those years and I didn't know anything about him. He asked me loads of questions and I answered them however I had nothing to ask him as I didn't know anything about him. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your comments ... an brief update ... we were at University together, I know why we didn't then I was still a big V and he knew the boundaries.
This time we slept next to each other in sleeping bags. The conversation was rolling and he was asking me a lot about me and I never really got to him as we were giggling a lot. I won't see him again as he lives a couple of hours away and I think simply he's just not that into me or he does respect me? We'll see, I still hold a torch for him but I don't think he does me I know what he's like when he's making his moves and he didn't on me. He was a real gentleman maybe thats why I still hold a torch for him! I just thought players would go for any opportunity and why didn't he go for me, sadly I won't see him to ask him and I'm not going to ring him now that would be sad!
A
male
reader, mrvhappy +, writes (31 August 2010):
Hi,
I agree with TimmD here too.
I had something similar happened to me recently with an ex..similar time apart (well over 20+ yrs) ...we met and the feeling/chemistry is still there.On the nite I felt the q's she asked me were those of someone trying to get to know me again....but there are complications...
I think that perhaps he wants to develop the realtionship so that Sex is not the only aspect of yr relationship.
Re you not knowing anything about him....typical guy thing in many ways. Maybe he wants to get to know you before he opens up again.
You dont say why you didnt get together before..so its difficult to assess the situtaion. Maybe he was hurt last time so is just being cautious until he knows how he feels about you./see how much you have in common etc.
As Chigirl says..dont throw yrself at him...it might put him off.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, romany +, writes (31 August 2010):
 I'm thinking along the same lines as Tim here.
I think it is probable that due to what you had before years ago, he is possibly keeping his distant out of fear of getting involved as he was hurt once before, or because he is afraid of ruining a friendship, perhaps he missed you last time, and is enjoying your company again, and he doesn't want to stop that, or that he doesn't like your on a romantic level.
There are several possibilities, I think this is one of those things that you wont be able to understand untill you have a few more nights with him.
Goodluck,
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 All I can say for sure is that 15 years down the road can change people. People tend to mature for most part, and maybe he doesn't want to repeat himself. From this viewpoint there can be a good reason why he didn't sleep with you, and a bad one. Good reason: he is now at a stage in his life where he is not interested in one night stands, but want to know more about you before he determines if he wants to pursue a relationship with you. Bad reason: he slept with you before and didn't want to do it again/ he just doesn't find you attractive in that way.
Give the guy more time, try to ask him more questions, and don't jump to bed with him again before you know his actual intentions. Either or he is not interested in sex with you at the moment. So best to wait until he is ready, or hold back a bit so it doesn't seem like you are throwing yourself at him. Some men find too "willing" to be unattractive.
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A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 He could care about you more than you think. Years ago he may have had a hard time getting over you and wants to be careful this time. Also, he could respect you more than those other girls where he wants more than just sex.
This is all speculation on my part right now. I don't have enough background info on you two to make a more specific guess.
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