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What can I do when my boyfriends penis is too small and cant feel him inside me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 August 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 August 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, *nonomys_anonomys writes:

MOD NOTE: OP's own title:

hi everyone. i am a 20 year old female and i have been dating my boyfriend for 2 months now. i am starting to get very close to him and i love our conversation, i love all our time together, and i feel that we can go a long way. just last night we hung out and one thing led to another. when it came time to put his penis inside me i relized it was very small. when he pushed in that was the only thing i could feel. it seemed like he felt everything and i was kinda just sitting there like please let there be more. i am not a picky female but when i say i couldn't feel anything i really couldn't. i didn't say anything because i definately didn't want to ruin the moment. he only stayed inside me for about 10 seconds and pulled out. he was soft!!!! so to try and fix the problem i did some more foreplay not to mention that we had done a lot of it before we got started. i gave him head to try and see if that would get him going. he got hard for about another 10 seconds and was going limp inside me when i put him in. i kinda felt like he knew he wasn't doing anything so he just practically kissed me the whole time and he did a little fingering. after a while he started sweating and i could see he was getting tired and i dont doubt that he was getting frustrated. but the point is, it seemed like he knew what the deal was and was kinda ok with it, like he pulled out and started fingering me then he'd just kiss me. now i understand that this was our first time but it doesn't change the fact that i couldn't feel anything. i dont want to leave him so if anybody knows something that i could do can you please help???

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A female reader, anonomys_anonomys United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

anonomys_anonomys is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks to everyone who posted. the answers were great and gave me hope. i am not going to leave my boyfriend just because he has a small partner but i will try to help more on my part for both of us. Thanks a lot!!!

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

I'll put in another vote for "performance anxiety" or "new partner jitters".

His actions indicate that he's aware of your disappointment, and he's making every reasonable effort to correct the situation. I suspect that the more you dwell on this - even to yourself, but especially to him - the worse it's going to get.

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (19 August 2010):

Perhaps the stimulation for him before sex, was insufficient to sustain an erection, as you would feel him inside you if he was fully erect.

Also, perhaps you were not aroused enough either. When the woman is fully aroused, the walls of the vagina also swell, so it would be easy to feel the sides of the penis along the walls of the vagina.

The reason you could not feel him was probably a combination of the two.

It is partly a confidence thing for him as well.

Once his mind gets involved and he starts thinking about what previous partners have said, those thoughts take over. Then he loses his erection altogether.

It would probably be better if you both take things really slowly and spend more time with the foreplay. There is no need to hurry at all. The foreplay might need to have more time spent on it.

Good luck and best wishes.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntSounds more like performance anxiety. How big is he when he does get erect?

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico + , writes (19 August 2010):

Danielepew agony auntThe man was nervous. "Performance anxiety", they call it. Now, if his penis is too small for your preferences, that's something no one can really help either of you about.

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A female reader, romany United Kingdom +, writes (19 August 2010):

romany agony auntI'm wondering if his inability to sustain an erection is mental problem rather than physical.

I'm quite sure if he'd managed to sustain an erection, the sex would have been ok, maybe in the past, a girlfriend has mocked him for his size, and because he was so intent on pleasing you, he put too much pressure on himself to perform, that his 'little fella' was affected.

I think maybe you should take the reins next time, be the one in control, make love to him, relax him, make sure neither of you has to be up early, so he can enjoy and let himself go and give him the confidence.

My ex ex partner was a 'big boy', and my boyfriend after wasn't, he was terribly embarrassed as his ex wife had given him hell during their seperation/divorce about his sexual 'inabilities' as she called them, and how he had a small penis, but I done pelvic floor excercises, which helped alot, for both of us, and I was patient with him, while he regained his confidence.

If you really want the relationship to work, you will work this out too.

Also if he had waited 2 months to get it on with you, he wouldn't have been in total control anyway. I wouldn't make any decisions to end the relationship until you've tried several more times and done some pelvic floor excercises.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010):

im a 16 year old boy and lets just say maybe you should just try to deal with it i mean but i wouldnt know how he would feel if you told him cause i mean i have never i have never had that problem and if i did it would hurt my pride and it would be really weird being with someone after they told me that

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