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Is this a date or just friends meeting up?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I need some advice (hopefully from guys and well as girls). So I'm meeting a guy from work for lunch at the weekend. His suggestion. We've talked a few times at work, and he drops compliments from time to time, but we've never been out together, either on our own or with a group. I think he's smart, kind, gorgeous! My friend (male) says him saying we should go for lunch=a date. He says that any time a guy asks you to go out to spend time with him alone=a date! I'm not sure though, I'm thinking he might have asked me out as a friend? Partly this might be because I'm a bit low in self-confidence after my last relationship (which ended 1 year ago after he cheated on me)...I guess I think this guy at work is out of my league, and would never want to be more than friends with me. Anyway, what do you think? I'm probably not going to see him again til we go out. I'm not sure whether to treat it as a date or not? Should I dress up nicely or just go casual? I'd be happy if it was a date :) I'd love your advice, thanks.

View related questions: at work, cheated on me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010):

(OP) thanks for the advice so far! I am flustered, it's true...a bag of nerves, which is stupid, I know. I'm going to treat it as meeting up with a friend to see what happens :) Thanks again. x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010):

I'm thinking if you two normally work at weekends, then it could possibly be a friendly work lunch. However if you don't work weekends, and he wants to meet up with you on his and your day off - then more than likely a proper date!

Wear whatever makes you feel good, comfortable with a touch of sexy - but don't overdo it, it's far sexier that you feel good in yourself than wearing a designated sexy outfit! Good luck!

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A female reader, romany United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2010):

romany agony auntYour friend is right, everything does add up as 'a date'

However, because this guy hasn't actually said, "do you want a date" I would see it as two people meeting up for lunch, so dress casual, as you would if you were meeting girlfriend in that restaurant, and have your hair down, if its usually up at work, a little bit of natural make up, and maybe some heels.

Just enjoy it, i think if you see it as a date, your gonna be a bag of nerves, your already flustered, lol.

Have fun, and dont forget to come back and update this.

Good luck, x

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A female reader, VikkiDec1 United States +, writes (26 August 2010):

VikkiDec1 agony auntHim suggesting the date in the first place signals that he wants to be alone with you and see you. I would just go with confidence and be happy this guy is really noticing you. Dress nice, something u feel comfortable in also, don't dress too sexy. You will be able to tell if its a date by his body language and him just enjoying himself with u.

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A female reader, maya85 United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2010):

Hi, Sounds like a date to me. although you have had your confidence knocked by a loser it doesn't mean every man is out to do the same to you, also it seems like he asked in a casual way probably to leave the ball in your court and just maybe it's because he is thinking the same paranoid stuff as you are!

He's more than likely dancing around his place just like we do then playing it cool just in case you're not thinking the same as he is. We are after all only human. Male or Female we all have insecurities and little past issues we judge new situation on.

Relax and try to enjoy the time together as much as possible be yourself. Fun is what the dating part is all about!

As far as omg what do I wear goes, I would go more casual than an evening date but don't be afraid to dress it up and honey, you got it, you work it.

Good luck, don't over think it, enjoy it!! xx

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A male reader, $izZle India +, writes (26 August 2010):

$izZle agony auntHi :) since he told you that he wants to take you out on a date and didn't give you any reason why .... that pretty much sounds like a date -date you know what i mean :P any which ways you don't have anything to loose so why not do something that will make you feel good treat it as a date :)

I'm sure you are not the only person in office and the fact that he invited you and only you for lunch suggests that he might be interested xD so gogogo.... :P

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