A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Its weird that I give advice and Im a love sick lonley girl. Basicly I only pull guys if they're drunk so obviously they remember the next morning that Im not the best dish on the tabe.. They never call me back and i see my pretty mates pull easily and they call them like crazy.. My cousins etc are all getting married making their own families. Every wedding I go to (99.9% are cousins) I just want to cry every time because I know I'm never going to get my happy ending, stupid as it sounds. I'm not expecting marriage right now, but I know I'm never going to have that. Every time people pass me kissing and holding hands, friends too, makes me want to scream because I'm so sad.I dont know what type of advice I'm even looking for. I dont even know if I'm looking for advice... I just want to have my other half... I've had so many heartbreaks.. I've never done anything to hurt anyone, I'm not a criminal, I'm unique... Why cant I have my happiness..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (9 August 2010):
 If you can't love yourself, how can anybody else be expected to fall in love with you?
What the other aunts said... If you want to turn things around, you need to focus on yourself. Put everything else out of your mind and just do things that YOU enjoy doing. Talk to a counselor, they may be able to set you on your way.
A
female
reader, romany +, writes (9 August 2010):
 I'm sorry, this is gonna sound harsh, but I need to try and kick you out of this pity party your on.
First off the only problem you have is your own personal views you have on yourself, and I bet it stems from somthing that that was said or insinuated by a no good a**hole and now your thinking that there is something wrong with you, not that the guys your attracting are just unsuitable for you, I bet if you sit and analyse your mind frame at the moment, (instead of thinking your not attractive) I would imagine you'll find that your carrying around an invisible stick that your beating the nice guys away with, and going with the ones who really have no ability to commit, Its not that they are not calling you, they are the type to not call anyone, not just coz they are a**holes, (altho they are) but coz they already got from you what they wanted, and so easy too, stop going to bed with them as soon as you meet them, you need to work on yourself.
First off you have to understand that your subconciously attracted to them, because you dont feel confident in yourself. One of the biggest misconceptions by nice guys are that most girls like a bad boy, yeah some girls like the challenge, but nine times out of ten, its coz alot of girls have such low self esteems they feel they dont deserve to be treated right, and so nice guys become invisible, players have the swagger and the chat, and they press the buttons that make insecure girls feel good, nice guys are usually shy and dont have the practice to woo you with clever chat, Your friends probably get to know the nice guys, as they dont have esteem issues, so they feel worthy and allow themselves to be treated like a princess by a nice guy.
Yes asthetics are important, but personality and confidence is so much more important, and as a trained beautician, every face has at least one feature that can be 'highlighted' to capture the eye of someone. Look in the mirror, find what you have, and then google techniques in enhancing eyes, or lips or bone structure.....this isn't to make you prettier as such,as i'm quite sure there is nothing wrong with ya, other than self esteem, but in doing this, its gonna make you more confident in what you have.
If you feel your unnatractive because of your body, take a search thru this site, you'll find loads of guys talking about what floats their boat, and it really aint what us girls think it is, if you need help in gaining body confidence, google, what body shape am i, find that out and then google clothes to fit your shape,
Once you find your confidence in yourself and peace with in, your prince will come, I know it sounds like an old cliche, but its true.
But seriously tho, you need to get off the pity train, its not good, not neccessary and you'll end up wasting possibly the best time of your life.
Any more advice or another kick up the bum needed, give me a shout. x
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (9 August 2010):
 Wow! You sound like you know the future?
"I know I'm never going to have that" Wow.. "You know", and "Never", could be very dangerous in the wrong mind.
You ever try to correct someone and they say "Yeah I know"...Then if you know so much why do I have to tell you.
And "I will never do that", only to find that person doing what they will NEVER do.
You do not "KNOW" what life has in store for you. If you knew, that is a real reason to be sad. Because then you would KNOW you would NEVER find happiness. If you are waiting for someone to make you happy, you will be waiting for a very long time. Happiness starts with you, inside you. If you can't find happiness in the simple fact that you are alive, then how do you expect others to make you happy?
A dog is happy to see a master who is happy to see it, but runs away from a master who is angry and mean.
Same for people...They will flock to those who are happy with themselves, but stay away from those that are not.
When you wake up in the morning and you are alive, and everything is working right...then it's a great day already and you should be happy you woke up. The rest is easy.
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