A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Friday night, as I was leaving the bar, a cute guy I had DEFINITELY noticed, who had introduced himself to me that night (but we were never really able to have a conversation), hurried over and tapped on my driver's side window. He said he something along the lines of:"Sorry, not to be a stalker - I wanted to speak to you tonight and earlier this week, but you were always surrounded by people. Do you have a boyfriend?"When I stated that no, I'm single, he asked for my number. I happily obliged. He also called my phone to be sure I had his number. He turned to leave... I heard him say, "Wait a second...", then he turned back around, quickly leaned in and kissed me before I could even react!Well, needless to say, I was certainly very attracted to this guy... but I pulled away, objecting, "I don't even know you!" - with a smile. He just said, "Don't worry, you will!"So, we said our goodnights and I left (I had to catch up with a friend).I suppose I expected him to call on Saturday, but it's now Sunday night and he hasn't called. How long before I should stop expecting a call or text? Guys, if you're really into a girl, wouldn't you call her the next day? This has been my experience before. And why on earth would he go so out of his way to ask for my number if he didn't intend to call?I'm not heartbroken here, but I'm very curious and a bit confused. Thoughts? Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (22 November 2012):
Hi. There is still time for him to call you. It's not Friday night yet, is it?
There is still hope, you never know.
Whatever you do though, PLEASE do not call or text him if you hear nothing by the end of the weekend.
The bottom line here is, if he is really as keen as he acted last week, he will make the effort to contact you.
Just as long as he wasn't blind drunk last week, when he ran up to you in your car and kissed you - Well then he probably should remember that he did that, and that he got your phone number, and he should also remember what he told you at that time.
So for now, don't give up hope altogether.
There is still time.
Usually, a guy would call a girl in that first week - if he is interested enough.
Perhaps he is nervous about it, and could be wondering if you might say "No" to him, if he asked you out.
He does actually sound rather shy, from what you said that he told you.
Just the same though, still DO NOT contact him - let him call you.
It's much better that way, I promise you.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (21 November 2012):
Only thing I can say about him is he seems to be one smooth operator.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (21 November 2012):
Eh don't sweat it, you got kissed by a horny toad, it happens.
There are decent guys out there :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE:
So it turns out this dude doesn't remember who I am and is also a total jerk (who cannot spell, might I add). :)
Kinda depressing and makes me question how much I actually enjoy single life.
Good luck, single women out there! Hope you have better luck than I do!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDorothy_Dix, oldbag, Honeypie, and So_Very_Confused - I appreciate all of your responses, thank you! Don't worry, I don't plan to sit by the phone... I don't know the guy, but I guess it just seemed strange to me that he was (or seemed) so eager, but then failed to call. Well, so far, anyway.
As far as not meeting him alone at first, I appreciate this insight as well. I've never dated a guy who had already kissed me... before we started dating? It's an odd situation to me, so I had no idea how to really deal with that, if it even were to play out that way. So thank you. :) Hey, if nothing else, it's a good story, lol.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 November 2012):
 give him time. I'm betting he calls soon. And when he does do not agree to see him spur of the moment. The old rule: he should call by Wednesday to ask you out for saturday... that might be a bit over the top but if he calls and says "what ya doing wanna get together now" the answer is NO... do not be the spur of the moment girl at first... honey that's a booty call....
and I agree don't be alone with him.
IF you are interested and he is interested he will contact you.
but see him in public the first few times....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 November 2012):
I'm thinking this guy thinks he HAS to wait 3 days before calling you, or you will think he is way too keen on you.
So, if you like him I'd give him a day or two to call you back.
However, like Dorothy Dix said, don't sit around and wait for the call, go about living your life.
And don't drop everything for a date with him. If he is interested in spending time with you he will have the common decency to give you a couple of days notice.
Also, I would (when he calls and if he ask you out) keep the dates to public places. He's already planted a snog on you - so no going home to his or taking him to yours to start off with. If you want to DATE him, then DATE him - get to know the guy.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (19 November 2012):
 Hi
I agree totally with Dorothy Dix.. be patient
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (19 November 2012):
Hi there. Some guys might call a girl the next day, but not all guys.
Each is different - they are certainly not all the same, by any means.
In any case, it does seem like he is rather keen to get to know you more, otherwise he wouldn't have taken the trouble to rush up to the car as you were leaving, just to get your phone number.
If he wasn't so enthusiastic, why would he bother? There would seem to be no purpose, would there?
And by the very fact that he explained how he had wanted to come up and talk to you throughout the night, and you were always surrounded by a group of people, so it put him off from doing that, as he feared you might reject his efforts to get to talk to you.
And I can honestly understand that, I really can.
That definitely seems like the truth to me. And again, he didn't need to tell you that, but he did so anyway. Which shows integrity.
No-one ever wants to be rejected and then feel foolish for trying, do they?
You don't, I don't - nobody wants that.
It's the old fear of failure that we all get, especially in these types of situations of getting to talk to an attractive member of the opposite sex.
Even though he hasn't rung you so far, up until now - 2 days later - there is no reason to feel that he won't call you some time later in the week.
There is every chance that will happen. You just need to give it some more time.
It's highly likely that he might not call you until Wednesday or even Thursday - for a Saturday night date.
And that would certainly be quite reasonable.
However, even though he has also given you his number, it would still be much wiser for you to be patient, and wait until he gives you a call.
Don't become impatient with waiting, and then desperately text or call him.
As keen as he was to get your phone number, by him also giving you his phone number, could simply be a test of your strength of character.
And by that I mean, that he could be thinking to himself since then - "I will call her either Wednesday or Thursday night."
And he might also be thinking at the same time - "If she tries to call or text me before I call her, asking when we might hang out, well then I won't be quite so interested in her anymore as I am now."
Men like a challenge when it comes to dating a woman they like.
They don't like it to come too easily for them.
Strong, confident, independent, slightly unpredictable women are qualities that most men really look for in a girlfriend.
A woman who has her own life, own friends and interests, and who knows who she is and what she wants.
Also, a woman who refuses to let herself be taken for granted or treated badly by anyone.
Because even with modern times now, most men still like to do the chasing of the woman they like.
They would usually much prefer to be the hunter - NOT the hunted.
So in answer to - "how long do I wait to hear from him before I give up?" - The answer is, as long as it takes.
Obviously, not too long.
If he hasn't called you by the end of this week - Friday night - do NOTHING.
If he calls you on Saturday for Saturday night, simply tell him - "I can't tonight, I have already made plans."
This tells him you refuse to be taken for granted.
At least 2 days notice is fairly reasonable for a Saturday night date.
But if he doesn't call you at all during this first week, well then, give him one more week to call you, and if nothing by the end of two weeks, well then consider that it might not happen at all.
And in the meantime, DON'T sit around by the phone hoping he will call you, because it will show in your voice when he does call.
And that will turn him right off, or it could, because it makes you appear needy and desperate.
And you DON'T want that.
And in the meantime while you are hoping he will call, just go about your life doing all the things you always do and go out with your friends, etc.
And then if he really wants to get in contact with you, he will keep on trying until he gets you in the end, trust me.
The one important thing to remember though, is under NO circumstances should you contact him at all, no matter how long it gets to be before you hear something from him.
Because if you do, you might not ever see him again.
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