A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! Ok I know this is gone sounds trivial but I need help with it!!I met this guy a while back we went for a few drinks and hit it off , I explained to him that I was not looking for anything serious and that what I needed at the moment was purely sexual, we agree that if we liked each other we could be ‘’friends with benefits’’For the time before we met, we kept texting and talking about what we wanted to do etc… we finally met and … and well his performance was disappointing to say the least, we seem to be different levels when it comes to sex. Apart from that know he seems shifty and immature… I don’t think it is wise to sleep with someone that cannot handle the responsibilities of sex gone wrong… if!!! Those are the reasons why I wouldn’t want to keep in contact with him, or keep him as a sex buddy.So what is the problem? He keeps emailing me and texting me asking to meet up, and I don’t know what to tell him, I figure that telling him *I don’t feel you are responsible mature or experience enough to be my sex buddy* is a bit of a low blow!...I want to tell him now, but I want to do it in a way that is not gone knock his confidence down!(if we could keep the judgemental attitude out of the advice I would a appreciate it please) thanks.
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male
reader, doom  +, writes (2 December 2012):
 tell him as every girl says: first of lie, and say that you feel bad after that night it didn't feel well and you're friendschip is more important then sex))) or just ignore as adviced other users.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo_Very_Confused"" i did think about it, but i don't even know where to begin, or what advice to give him, i am not the right person to teach him, i think that would require a woman with patience and determination, perhaps when he finds a girl that wants to be with him long term, i don’t mean this to sound selfish, but if was my boyfriend i would probably make the effort, if i was being serious i would go the extra mile and not just dump him for being bad at sex...but it requires time and afford , research thinking time and patience that i am unwilling to invest right now, that is why i want to stay single.i feel like a s*it person, but at the same time i want this to be my time to explore and me selfish.Hands why i don’t want to criticize him, because if at least i was willing to help him by teaching him… but not just criticising for the sake of it...so i guess i will just do that! tell him i am busy, he will get it, fingers cross he doesn't take it too bad.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (19 November 2012):
 Just tell him the whole FWB isn't working for you. You don't need to explain any more than that.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (19 November 2012):
 Hi
continue to ignore him OR teach him your way to have sex
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 November 2012):
 you just keep telling him your busy and can't make time...
he'll get the message.
but don't you feel that as a service to him it would be better to help him learn to be a good lover?
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