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... Send *ikeEa1 a private message | | | *ikeEa1's profile:I'm in my fifties and I've had 2 marriages. The last one ended in July 2010. I like to help people and I'm interested in relationship problems. I like to learn too from other peoples experiences. I've had plenty of girlfiends and I always want to treat people nicely. relationships need mutual goals. You help me and I'll help you. At the moment I'm single and looking. update august 2012 - got a nice girlfriend and see how it goes. |
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My girlfriend warms my heart and she's possibly the coolest girl ever, but there's this lingering "what if" about the other girl who I've had a crush on
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years. She is pretty amazing. We had a bit of a rocky start, but things have smoothed out and we have a lot of fun together now. My problem is that there is a girl I've known for many years, an old friend at...
A. 24 September 2012: we are all a bit like that. I have the greatest girlfriend in the world but the last one ended funny and I wonder about her. you have to figure out who you are in love with if anyone and take it from there. is it hard to tell if you're in love? If ... (read in full...)
Why do people give up their friends when they get married?
Q. Why do a lot of married people give up their friends? I'm in my mid twenties, and I'm married as well. I've lost quite a few friends since they got married, and I don't understand why. I think part of the problem could be that most of my friends ...
A. 23 September 2012: I have been involved with a woman in recent months and I must say that it seems I have no time for my friends. I spend 3 nights a week with my woman and in the 4 nights off I am not inclined to be in any situation that would suggest I am still ... (read in full...)
She knows I love and miss her so why does she tease me this way?
Q. My ex dumped me about 3 month ago after we had been together for nerly 6 years as we had not been getting on lately and arguing a lot and has refused to speak to me ever since. She Started seeing a new lad not long after we broke up and Will not ...
A. 13 September 2012: she just turned up at the same bar as you. she is not doing anything to you. she seems to be happy with her new bloke. I think you should try and move forward with your life. develop a few interests and focus on them. It takes a few months at least, ... (read in full...)
I've become attached to my fiance's nephew
Q. I am 20 years old. My fiance, boyfriend, whatever you want to call him is 50. We are swingers, which means we're in an open relationship. now that the info is over, here's my story. I was driving home from my uncle's house one night and saw my...
A. 10 September 2012: when you meet someone and fall in love it should be such a standout experience. you should give your self some space and learn about you before you commit to someone else. That way you can build up some feelings and ideas about what you want in the ... (read in full...)
At 61 and divorced I feel I have no friends. No family either. How does one make friends?
Q. I just dont know how to make some real friends. I was brought up in children's homes so have no family as such I was divorced years ago and have had a few boyfriends since but one way and another all folded up. I have tried working in charity s...
A. 2 September 2012: I wish you lived in Australia. You could be my friend. I have a few friends that go back a long way and I have a close family.It is wonderful and i would like to take under my wing someone like you who needs that support group.... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to see me as often as I want to see him!
Q. I'm 23, my boyfriend is 26. We've been together a little over 2 months. I would like to see him everyday or at least every other day, but he only wants to hang out maybe 2-3 days a week. We've talked about this, and he has said "You're not my life. ...
A. 2 September 2012: I am in a very similar position to your boyfriend despite the age difference. She would see a lot more of me than I would allow. The question is why don't I want to see more of her. The truth is I do, but we've only been going out 2 months. I'm more ... (read in full...)
Husband won't work and we are about to lose our house!
Q. I am needing some advice and am not sure what to do about my marriage. My husband refuses to look for work or get a job. First off, he is not depressed at all. He has seen the doctor for an evaluation and he is not depressed. He was lai...
A. 2 September 2012: This is a subject that I feel strongly about about as I have had my own disappointments in this area. In a relationship each partner must pull his own weight by the mutually agreed expectation. This is very important as money is important to ... (read in full...)
How can I know if a woman is sexually interested?
Q. hi all, how can we understand that a woman is sexually interested on a man. as frequent guests we used to touch or sometimes stand closer etc. but I tend to feel that this woman has an attraction on me. but this is an intuition. are there indirect...
A. 29 August 2012: there is nothing more obvious than a woman being interested in you. they say the most blatant things. if there is any doubt then there is no interest. wait until you are sure. the reason it is like this is because men usually make the first move ... (read in full...)
Is he not into sex because he's aware of what is going on around him?
Q. Hey, silly question. The other day I was having sex with my fiancé and right in the middle of the action he noticed my head was banging against the wall - nothing major, really, I could just feel the wall touching my head... I wasn't hurt or ...
A. 27 August 2012: I get easily distracted in sex. it doesn't make it any worse. I always feel very caring towards my partner during the sex act. I care for her more than myself. maybe thats whats going on with your partner. enjoy what you can and let him do what he ... (read in full...)
Is the singles scene easier for women than it is for men?
Q. I'm curious what the singles scene is really like from a woman's perspective? After many years of being single, I got married recently so this is just out of curiosity. I know this can't be true, but it often appeared to me that women had it mad...
A. 23 August 2012: I agree with danceinthedark. its easier for men. the obvious thing is that men choose who they chat to. women don't get so much choice. men ask for phone numbers usually not women and the other thing is that 1/2 the men are at home watching football ... (read in full...)
I am a cheater but is that really so bad?
Q. I am cheating on my GF. should i stop. i cant help it i like the excitement of chasing new women and when i see a beautiful woman im curious how it feels to be with her. but i like having something guaranteed at home. but people make it seem like a ...
A. 22 August 2012: I get that you feel like this. I think most guys do. but you're not showing respect for your girlfriend and her feelings. Its normally part of the deal that you don't sleep with someone else. what would you think if she was sleeping around? maybe ... (read in full...)
Met a girl, we got naked, though no condom. Then I stopped the sex. But could I have caught a STD or made her pregnant?
Q. Hi there, I hope someone can help me. A couple of weeks ago I met this girl in a bar and we were both really drunk. We ended up going back to her flat and started ripping each others clothes off. We got naked, although I think I left my underwea...
A. 19 August 2012: I would say theres very little chance that you have an std. just forget about it. the risk if what you say reflects the situation is almost zero. you are more likely to contract the flue from walking accross the city. ... (read in full...)
Curious about causes for divorce. Share your stories?
Q. I have a bit of a fear of divorce. You always hear how happy a couple is yet they end up divorced years later. I think about this a lot and hear all sorts of reasons for divorce from experts, money differences etc, but I'm really curious about real ...
A. 16 August 2012: I too have been married twice, the first for 7 years and the second for 19 years. the last marriage finished 2 years ago. with the first marriage we were both young and silly. I guess she wanted marriage more than me but that faded. we had 2 ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to limit the amount the roommate's b/f sleeps over?
Q. Hi all, I m 24 and I m renting a flat with my bf that can only accommodate 3 people in terms of the lease. About a month ago we decided to sublet a room to a 3rd person because I lost my job and needed help to cover my college tuition. We managed ...
A. 13 August 2012: I've been there and I agree with these other posters. look at it this way. your flatmate is paying say $40 per night, therefore her friend should also pay whatever the rent is divided by 4. also the other thing is that you agreed to her living ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend takes too long!
Q. Hi! Im 18 years old and when me and my bf have sex it takes him a long time to come. We go at i for hours and i have multiple orgasms but he still trying to get to through the first. I worried its my fault that he's not coming faster or I get tired ...
A. 13 August 2012: I'm a bit like your boyfriend and my girlfriend thinks its all her fault. Its not. you just have to let him find his way. probably he's having such a good time that he doesn't want to stop. let him have his fun and when you are tired let him know.... (read in full...)
Will I ever enjoy having sex?
Q. hi everyone..i know this question has been asked like q million times but ladies i just want to know how was your first sexual encounter..so i was a virgin until yesterday and it really hurt ..i didn't enjoy at all. am just wondering if i will ever ...
A. 9 August 2012: the thing is that the boy you did it with knows about as much about sex as you do. one day he will grow up and learn how to please a woman. boys have to learn a lot more than girls.... (read in full...)
What is your personal definition of love?
Q. Recently, a few of my classmates and I have a talk with this male teacher. He is 33 this year and neither married nor dating anyone. So we asked why isnt he getting married. And he suddenly got really quiet and just said softly "what is your ...
A. 9 August 2012: love is when you want to make someone happy and making them happy makes you happy. hopefully they feel the same way. otherwise its a disaster.... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my uncle, what do I do?
Q. Hi everyone i need some advice, ok first of all i have been married for 12 years to a dead beat, ass hole, that only cares bout himself.. ok now heres the thing, I have been in love with a man since i was 17 years old. We lost contact for 17 years ...
A. 9 August 2012: you should stay away from him for all the obvious reasons. DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH YOUR UNCLE. you will always regret it.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a super "homebody" and I'm not!
Q. My bf and I have been together for almost 3 years. We get along great and we both are college students (don't live together). My problem is that my bf is a major homebody. His desire to be home all the time (cuddling, playing games, watching TV, ...
A. 9 August 2012: you should talk to him a bit. people have different ways of fulfilling their lives and I like being out and about too. my ex didn't so I used to go out on my own a lot. I don't think it helped the relationship. Your boy will probably enjoy a bit of ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to be more attractive to men?
Q. Hello, lately ive been having problems with my looks. I feel like all my friends are becoming prettir than me. They all have become super pretty and get alot of guys and i dont. even my own best friend, people tell me im prettier than her but i dont ...
A. 8 August 2012: there's a little secret here that you don't seem to know about. here's how it goes. if you want something to happen it won't. so you go out to a bar and say you are not giving your phone number to anyone and you are not interested in men. they go ... (read in full...)
My mom is dating a guy a little older than me. Do I need to step in?
Q. My mom who is in her mid 40s is in a relationship with a guy who is apparently in his early 20s. Their relationship is merely based on sex from what I can tell. She wears low cut tops and short shorts when she hangs out with him. i moved out of the ...
A. 5 August 2012: I would be embarassed if I was you. Imagine if it was your Dad with a woman your age. People should be more cautious about these things. Anyway its not your problem or business really. Just take a back seat and don't get too involved.... (read in full...)
Was he just after sex? Should I call or wait for him?
Q. Hi. I met a Brazilian guy last wed .we met online and I knew before we met we would have a great time and great chemistry .well I was right .we had a great time chatting about all sorts of things .I am aware that Brazilian men are very forward but ...
A. 5 August 2012: from a mans point of view it sounds as though you might put out on the next date so he will probably call you. don't do anything till the date after as if you do you might not see him again.... (read in full...)
Does education matter in relationships?
Q. Does education matter in relationships? The guy I like is a successful store manager but he only went to community college. I'm completing the last year of my business BA. I like him for who he and I'm proud of who he is. But I'm worried that if I ...
A. 3 August 2012: it does matter but there are more important things. if your boyfriend is intellectually compatable then you will be ok.
... (read in full...)
How should a man treat a women, now a days?
Q. How should a man treat a women now a days, anyways? We se so many shows and have so many social pressures, both on men and women, but mostly on women. Also though i think it's difficult to get to know someone, becuase of that persons past, with ...
A. 31 July 2012: you should treat a woman with respect and listen and observe what she wants and expects. they are all different. don't get too close to quick. its considered a bit creepy. get to know her and find out what she wants. maybe she wants you.... (read in full...)
What do you see into your soulmate's eyes?
Q. They say that if you look into someone's eyes and they are your soulmate. Then you can see all the next generations you'll create. I know its a figure of speach, so what do you see, how do you feel when you look into your loved one's eyes? ...
A. 25 July 2012: I see an unfathomable depth of caring and feeling for me that i have to try and respect and return.... (read in full...)
I have a secure marriage and a satisfying affair!
Q. I am very torn, and I need advise not criticism pls. Anyways I have started and an affair with one of my husbands friends. It isn't purely physical, I had some feelings for "Bob" for a few yrs prior. And now they have intensified.. My husband is ...
A. 23 July 2012: because life is short and relationships are so long I am a person that need some me time between relationships. I have to fall in love with myself again before I can fall in love with another. maybe you don't need that. If I'm dating more than one ... (read in full...)
Why do middle aged men expect all women to be slim and perfect looking, when they are not?
Q. So, I need some love and support tonight, friends. I am 54 and been on my own for over 3 years since my last break up. Last November, I made a promise to myself to really give online dating a chance, and to put myself out there and take risks. And I ...
A. 17 July 2012: you rejected 6 men and only one rejected you. don't get hung up about why just go looking some more. most people are not attracted to most people so you have to accept that there will some rejections both ways.... (read in full...)
My wife cheated on me and is now worried that I'm cheating on her. Its causing a great deal of stress in our home
Q. I had recently discovered that my wife of 12 years was having an affair for past one year. I confronted her with the evidence I had and she admitted it. She has promised to end the affair, which I presume she did, and work on marriage. I do not ...
A. 15 July 2012: she was the one having the affair and now everyones acting as if it was you because you threatened it. make some casual remark that you wouldn't ever have an affair and couldn't imagine how she would and leave it at that. I wouldn't trust her. the ... (read in full...)
We split up but he suggested a FWB arrangement. Should I do it?
Q. I've met this man right after I ended my marriage of 20 years. It was so nice to feel being wanted and loved again. He is 16 years older than me. Four years on I don't love him any more. He is not a caring person and just enjoy being looked ...
A. 15 July 2012: bondgirl72 is so right. why would you complicate your life with an uncaring person just for a bit of sex. I'm a male who needs more sex than women and I wouldn't do it. my guess is that he just wants you on board emotionally again. relationships are ... (read in full...)
'Testosterone Builds?' Any thoughts on my strategies to improve our sex life in our marriage?
Q. I read recently that testosterone builds for 7-10 days if you don't ejaculate during that period before it begins to drop off. Has anyone experimented with only ejaculating every 7-10 days? My wife and I don't have sex very often anymore, and I know...
A. 14 July 2012: if you haven't ejaculated for 3 days you should be full strength or good enough. If you haven't ejaculated for 7 days you're going to be very disappointed if she says no which is going to happen at least 1/2 the time because women don't place such ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my jealousy?
Q. I am in a relationship with a man I love. We live together but I am so jealous. I get jealous when he talks to other girls or even watches television. He loves the show "So you think you can dance" and I hate it. I get sick to my stomach every ...
A. 12 July 2012: you should get some counselling. my 2nd wife was very jealous and my first wife was very unfaithful so I have been on both sides of the fence. you have to know if your jealousy has any substance and then you have to learn how to deal with the ... (read in full...)
Why do women insist on pursuing a man knowing that he's in a relationship?
Q. This question is primarily for females. Why is it when u meet someone new or connect with someone from ur past and one of u are in a relationship with someone else, WHY DO WOMEN PERSIST ON SEDUCING THE PERSON KNOWING THEIR IN A RELATIONSHIP? Is it ...
A. 11 July 2012: its a bit like men will have anything that's going and women will have anything they think they can't have. most relationships survive for a good number of years because most of us resist these base instincts. in both my marriages I've always b... (read in full...)
Do men over 40 really not want to have sex?
Q. I am very concerned about the amount of sex or lack of with my boyfriend of 1.5 appx. he recently moved back home his mom is sick, but I am her caretaker..we dont live together and he didnt really want to move back home he likes his privacy. we ...
A. 9 July 2012: I suspect he's choking the turkey too much or he has a low sex drive. most of us post40 men (I'm 58) need it pretty regularly and by that I mean 2=3 times a week. there is some problem in your case.... (read in full...)
How do I know if I still love my wife after 20 years?
Q. My wife and I will be married for 20 years this August. One thing I am struggling with is whether I am still in love with her or not. Certainly, I do not feel the same way about her I did 15 years ago in terms of the fluttery feeling of the earl...
A. 7 July 2012: after a long time, less than 20 years you and your partner become the same person more or less. you cant love yourself although a lot of people seem to manage it but you have to appreciate the value of the two of you working together in life. when I ... (read in full...)
Would a trial separation simply extend the toxic situation?
Q. I am in a place where I am afraid to take what is likely the next step. Not sure what to do. Have been married for 10 years, no children (we can't have children and Husband is against adoption). My husband was raised in a verbally abusive ...
A. 7 July 2012: I get the feeling from what you have said that there is hope on both sides. maybe you should say you want a trial seperation unless he agress to counselling. then if he won't do counselling go to trial seperation. if that doesn't bring him to ... (read in full...)
My father doesn't like my boyfriend. Should I tell him we're getting married? Or wait till afterwards?
Q. Hi! I'm getting married to the love of my life in a couple of months. I lost my mom a year ago and my father is... well, he's never been there for me and he is always pretty scary and judgmental. I still love him, in a way, you know, he's still my ...
A. 6 July 2012: you must invite your father and get him involved. he is probably still grieving about your mother and if he was a hardass already he probably is double haqrdass with the grieving process still happening. do what you want to do but include him in ... (read in full...)
How should FWB relationships operate? Do guys get jealous if she sleeps with other guys in a FWB?
Q. I was just reading an Article about FWB relationships. The guy in the article stated a guy who is in a FWB relationship can still feel jealous if the girl sleep with any other guy. Even though they aren't emotionally attached to each other. W...
A. 2 July 2012: I agree with Mandy. I want to have sex with my soulmate not someone I'm mates with. I guess anything in an emergency but with your friend. whats that about?... (read in full...)
Which woman do I choose? The dysfunctional one who I'm crazy about? Or the one I've recently met who understands me?
Q. I have been seeing this woman for a few months and I am crazy about her but she is disfunctional to the extent that whenever we arrange a meeting she alweays manages to stuff it up. what i mean is we always end up at a different place at a different ...
A. 23 June 2012: thanks honeypie and justmen. I haven't been in a relationship for a year and then it wasn't that long. I'm pretty happy on my own but really like a womans company so I go out a lot, dating. I rarely find one I like and now theres two.... (read in full...)
How do I tell the man I love the awful truth about my past?
Q. When I was 12, I found out that I was the unfortunate result of my mother's adultery. My "dad" was disappointed and extremely disturbed by it. Growing up I had always felt different and I was never given the love I felt my 2 half sisters were and it ...
A. 21 June 2012: you have had a hard road and these matters are not easy to disclose to partners. regardless of how much therapy you have it is not easy to let a new partner in on the secret. it is difficult enough dealing with it all yourself. you will find the ... (read in full...)
Can you be more than in love with someone?
Q. Can you be more than in love with someone? for example"I'm more than in love with him/her?" also what are signs that you are just in lust and think your in love?...
A. 19 June 2012: I don't think I can compete with chigirl on this. she has shed some light. Peoples feelings will be different, especially when one is getting more of what they want than the other. I don't see it that way when I go into a relationship and I am sure ... (read in full...)
Have you ever squirted or made anyone squirt?
Q. Hi, I was just wondering if any of you out there have, 'squirted' during sex, or made anyone squirt? ive never had an orgasam, with anyone ive ever been with. I do enjoy sex and do have a good sexlife with my boyfriend, but ive dont know anyone who ...
A. 19 June 2012: I had one girlfriend that squirted. it is comparatively rare and not linked to as much pleasure as you may think. many women don't have orgasms until their men learn how to pleasure them. this is difficult as the woman has to learn first. sometimes ... (read in full...)
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