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I'm in love with my uncle, what do I do?

Tagged as: Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 August 2012) 10 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, *urstladyc writes:

Hi everyone i need some advice, ok first of all i have been married for 12 years to a dead beat, ass hole, that only cares bout himself.. ok now heres the thing, I have been in love with a man since i was 17 years old. We lost contact for 17 years and i never stopped looking for him, i found him june 27 2012. We talk everynight and my feelings are stronger than ever one night he told me first that he was in love with me also he makes me feel liike a true QUEEN...so now we are truly alking relationship wise my kids love him...now heres the thing

HE IS MY UNCLE.... PLEASE HELP WHAT SHOULD I DO?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012):

If you had unnatural feelings towards this man you call "Uncle" and view as an uncle, in the past, why did you bother to locate him knowing these unnatural feelings would come back again and put you in this dilemma?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2012):

He's not your blood uncle, and you're already out of the bad marriage, well then, my opinion has changed from the "EWWWWWWWW" reaction.

I don't know whether or not you should date the guy. But, if you do, you should NEVER call him 'uncle' again.

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A female reader, misfitschik66 Canada +, writes (10 August 2012):

misfitschik66 agony auntAgain the heart wants what the heart wants and if you really think you want to be in a relationship with this man as you stated he isn't blood..then wrap up your divorce and go be happy with this man..no one deserves to be treated like trash

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A female reader, furstladyc United States +, writes (9 August 2012):

furstladyc is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I UNDERSTAND WHAT EVERYONE IS SAYING FIRST OF ALL IM ADOPTED AND HE IS NOT MY BLOOD...TO misfitschik66 THE DIVORCE WAS ALREADY GOING BEFORE I FOUND HIM...MY KIDS ARE 17,16,15,11... MY KIDS DONT EVEN LIKE THEIR FATHER I TALK TO MY KIDS BOUT EVERYTHING BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL I HAVE AND MOSTLY I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON MY HUSBAND.MY HUSBAND AND I WAS TOGETHER SINCE I WAS 12, I LOST MY FAMILY BECAUSE OF MY HUSBAND IM JUST TIRED..... YES I UNDERSTAND INCEST IS ILLEGAL SOME PLACES THIS IS NOT LUST I KNOW WHATS IN MY HEART.. IM TIRED OF BEING THE OTHER WOMAN,THE DOOR MAT,THE PUNCHING BAD ETC...

TO THE OTHER PERSON MY FAMILY IS ALREADY BROKEN UP..

ALSO TO Just Gill I WAS ATTRACTED TO HIM BECAUSE OF THE MAN HE IS I HAVE ALWAYS ADMIRED THAT IN HIM AND THE OLDER I GOT AND EVEN THOUGH WE LOST CONTACT, MY FEELINGS GOT STRONGER,AND WHEN I WAS 17 HIM AND NO ONE ELSE KNEW HOW I FELT ABOUT HIM.HE DIDNT KNOW I WAS HIS NIECE UNTIL THE FAMILY REUNION WAS OVER.THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I SEEN HIM IN 1995 SO.

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A female reader, misfitschik66 Canada +, writes (9 August 2012):

misfitschik66 agony auntFirst things first..before you even think about getting involved with someone regardless if it's with your uncle or not GET A DIVORCE!!!!!

second of all you need to seriously think about the consequences on this one

and I agree with everything the other aunts and uncles are saying so everything they have said you need to take into consideration

how old are your children? are they young children? because if they are this is a bad example you are showing them not just about you being in love with your uncle but with you wondering if you should consider leaving your husband for him or even cheating on him

you do realize that in some countries and states incest is illegal?

and even if your in a state that it is legal I'm sure there are going to be many people frowning upon you because this is very taboo and if you decide to go through with this relationship can you handle that?

In the end though i have to agree the heart wants what the heart wants and if you think you can handle the criticism and taboo of this situation then you already answered your own question

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2012):

Stop now!!! Not from a religious perspective at all, but you will break up the family. Screechy halt, pls.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2012):

This sounds more like infatuation than love. You two could really cause some weird family dynamics if you act on your infatuations. There's a huge "EWWWWWWWWWWWW" factor involved in what many would consider an incestuous relationship. I would STRONGLY advise you to give up this particular fantasy of yours. There are other fish in the sea, but don't go fishing if you remain married.

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A male reader, MikeEa1 Australia +, writes (9 August 2012):

MikeEa1 agony auntyou should stay away from him for all the obvious reasons. DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH YOUR UNCLE. you will always regret it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2012):

Uncle as in your blood uncle or one through marriage?

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A female reader, Just Gill United Kingdom +, writes (9 August 2012):

Just Gill agony auntI'm so sorry to say i dont agree with that.

When two related people meet as adults, and become sexually attracted, it is known as genetic sexual attraction. If a sexual relationship is entered, it is known as incest, and may be distressing to both parties, or the families involved. Several factors may contribute to GSA. People commonly rank faces similar to their own as more attractive, trustworthy, etc. than average. Shared interests and personality traits are commonly considered desirable in a mate, this is mostly like the reason who felt something when you meet your uncle again when an adult. What i'm concerned about is the fact you where 17 years old when you first had 'feelings' for him? What made you attracted to him in that way? There's no denying that most people wont agree with you and your uncles choice. Plus again think back to what your uncle was like when you where 17 years old, how did he attract you? was it obvious to you that he liked you? or did the attraction for him come when you meet as adults? Ask these questions to your self and you might descover the answer, This is always a tough question to answer. As the saying goes...The heart want's what the heart wants. All the facts i gave you where from the internet so you can look them up if you wish and read more about what your going through.

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