A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My ex dumped me about 3 month ago after we had been together for nerly 6 years as we had not been getting on lately and arguing a lot and has refused to speak to me ever since. She Started seeing a new lad not long after we broke up and Will not reply to any message or even agree to be civil. Will not open any emails i send yet i am told she will not delete them either!! Yet last week she was into the bar next to her work asking to speak to a friend of mine who works there but my friend was not at work that night. Then on Sunday night she turned up at the one bar she knows I go to every Sunday night with friends with her new boyfriend. She Knows I will be there and what time, yet she brought her new boyfriend.She then positioned herself to keep slyly glancing at me and I imagine she never told him I go there each week at that time. Yet he kept looking too., then she kept dancing and kissing him as if they were really happy etc.Since she is the one who ended it and is so happy, when she knows I miss her, why would she do this?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (18 September 2012):
 I don't even know why you play along with her mind-games. Block her and stop seeking her out on the internet. I know you hope she will have a change of heart, but all she is doing is preventing YOU from moving forward and finding someone for YOU to love.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (18 September 2012):
 You can analyze all you want, but you likely won't find an answer to your question. You may even have the opportunity to ask her yourself, but that doesn't mean she will own up to her behavior. Don't allow her to have this power over you. Let her go and move on. Life is too short to spend sitting around trying to analyze why someone does something. Sometimes they themselves don't even know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, she is playing mind games again,
She add a person of my exact name on Facebook on which she had blocked me. A person with same name, but no picture so obviously everyone thought it was me, a mutual friend asked if it was me, that's how I know about it,
I think she did this to see what reaction she got off those close to her that she has lied to about me, to see what they would say etc,
Then she removed this person a few hours later and unblocked me.
Yet still isn't speaking.
What game is she playing at now and why doesn't she just speak if she is having regrets etc,
This is all seems very childish, yet I think she is having regrets.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (14 September 2012):
She could be bitter against you and is trying to show off that she thinks she can get better. I do not know what she is thinking, but that would be my best guess.
I would not try to figure out what she is thinking. After this type of behavior, would you want her back if she came crawling back to you? I wouldn't.
My explanation would be because she is mean, spiteful, and immature when it comes to relationships. There is really nothing more to analyze about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe part I don't get is
If she is so happy & she is the ne who ended it.
Then why come looking for me.
She chose not to be with me, I had no choice, so why go into places asking to speak to my friends then turn up at where she know I will be,
I know she can't ask her only friends to go there coz they will know exactly why she wants to go there 'I will be there'.
And she has said so many hurtful things about me to them, she can't look silly to them now.
But she doesnt contact me, yet goes out of her way to be where I am.
It makes no sense to me and that's why I am so confused about her actions.
Her words may say happy but her actions are not sayin that if that makes sense
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (13 September 2012):
The thing is...it DID bother you. Ok, so maybe you haven't emailed her, but she is still looking to get a rise out of you by going to your favorite places.
I agree with HoneyPie and would switch up your schedule. I know it means you may not be able to go to your favorite bar, but that is a small thing to change to avoid this kind of situation with her. You don't need the emotional turmoil or drama in your life.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 September 2012):
I'm glad you didn't cheat, that is a good thing :)
I honestly think you need to switch up your schedule so she can't so easily predict where she might find you.
She does seem bitter about the break up. One thing is running into your ex around the place, but she is ACTIVELY seeking you out to show you she has a new man.
I'd stay clear 100% from her. Stop feeding the "troll".
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (13 September 2012):
Stacy hit the nail on the head. She gets attention from you and she gets attention from the new guy, so she probably couldn't be happier. If your break-up was non-amicable, she can flaunt her new guy in front of you to force you to see what you threw away. She must have some fairly bitter feelings against you, so I would avoid her at all costs until things settle down. Don't go to the bar at your regular time and do some different things to get your mind off her. Stop emailing her if she won't read or return them. She's playing you and you don't need to look weak or desperate in front of her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have not sent any emails for 2 month now, nor contacted her. Her cousin told me she that she will not delete the ones I sent previous nor will she read them. Also she keeps her Facebook status as single and has told people she is just 'friends' with this new lad yet is with him constantly.We did not live together but both discussed marriage and a future together.She told me she loved me only one week before going wiff with man after we fell out over a silly argument.No, I never cheated but she would often accuse me of doing so.The worst thing is she brought this lad to the one bar she knows I go to with quite a few large friends who are doormen. The whole thing could have turned nasty and she knows that, but I pretended the whole thing didn't bother me and didn't look at them AND laughed with my friends etc.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (13 September 2012):
 Hi
You keep sending her emails and messages, she has probably told her new boyriend and between them they decided to make it clear to you she has moved on.
Cut all contact, its over, change your routine,go to different pubs,meet new people, anything to help you move on.You will too,in time, once you've let her go completely.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (13 September 2012):
 Attention. She likes the idea of you being jealous of her and her new boyfriend. She sounds pretty immature honestly. My sister used to do this crap, would talk to her ex that was still very into her and tell him how great her new bf was at whatever. Mean and immature. Stop sending her emails and don't let her petty, low attempts to get at you actually get at you. When she tries this crap go over the top showing you are having a good time. Laugh and have fun. Don't sit and pout because then she won her stupid little game. She will get the point and stop coming around because she won't be getting the attention she desperately craves. Definitely stop sending emails, you are only feeding her ego. She probably saves them to look over how much you miss her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2012): She is definitely playing games w/u. Don't indulge in any of her childish games. She knows you still have feelings for her and she is miking it for all its worth. I know it hurts you but your best bet is when you see her at the bar put some distance between you two. Be the mature one. You are seeing the real side if her. Im quite sure you don't really want 2 b bothered with that so.just be strong and keep ur distance and sooner or later you won't be fazed by her childish antics to make you jealous. You will meet someone special soon. Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 September 2012):
To rub it in.
Did you cheat on her by chance?
I think she likes to play games. She isn't fully over you. She may pretend that she is, but someone who is totally over their ex doesn't fee la need to rub it in the ex's face that they have a new partner.
Or maybe she is trying to convince her new partner that she is SO over you. Again.. going about it in a really pretty way.
I would stop e-mailing her and go full no contact mode.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2012): You were together a long time. Did you live together during that time? Were you engaged, or did you talk about a future, or marriage? If not, I'd say maybe she wanted more from the relationship.
It sounds like she is trying to make you jealous. I would quit contacting her, you are playing into her games. Don't go to your usual bar on Sunday, make her wonder what is going on with you.
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (13 September 2012):
 she just turned up at the same bar as you. she is not doing anything to you. she seems to be happy with her new bloke. I think you should try and move forward with your life. develop a few interests and focus on them. It takes a few months at least, maybe a year or more to recover from a failed relationship so just focus on yourself and move on. from what you've said this woman has no interest in you.
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