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*ikeEa1 agony aunt

*ikeEa1

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*ikeEa1's profile:

I'm in my fifties and I've had 2 marriages. The last one ended in July 2010. I like to help people and I'm interested in relationship problems. I like to learn too from other peoples experiences. I've had plenty of girlfiends and I always want to treat people nicely. relationships need mutual goals. You help me and I'll help you. At the moment I'm single and looking. update august 2012 - got a nice girlfriend and see how it goes.

< Prev1234567Next > [7 pages, 234 answers]

I am a flirt who loves to just want sex!

Q.   Everytime I like a guy and I know he doesnt like me back I seem to use sex as a way to defend myself, i seduce him, get what i want and then get over him quick. The sex isnt that good, it gets the job done it feels good, but it doesnt please my ...

A.   17 September 2011: I understand where you're coming from from as when you have sex with the person then you have power over the person, but thats from the mans point of view but not for the woman. you have to hold out until the time is right. the time is right ... (read in full...)

What help is available to give us some support? My Step son is terrorising the family with his behavior.

Q.   This is very long but there is no way to shorten it. I have been in this relationship with my GF for 3 1/2 years now. She has both a daughter (8yrs) and a son(11yrs). My relationship with the daughter couldn't be better. It's the step son. H...

A.   30 August 2011: this is your life being ruined by a boy who doesn't know any better. your support is minimal. there is one certainty and that is as long as you continue in this relationship this boy will make you miserable and play havoc with your life on some ... (read in full...)

I am miserable being married to my husband.

Q.   I have been married for 29 years.All these years were very tough I feel like I am in prison.We are like day and night. I got depressed. I had a break down before and i Can feel one coming soon. Ijust want to dissapear and never come back.I hate him ...

A.   29 August 2011: You sound like you need counselling. It's sad if your marriage is bringing you down but you have to make certain that is the problem. It's all very well to blame your state of mind on your marriage but it might be something else. If you're sure its ... (read in full...)

Would you date an escort?

Q.   Would you date a girl who was or is an escort? but she is really loving, smart, honest and does everything for you. It's just her job and she's only doing it a few years to save up some money and invest in something good. (house, car etc) ...

A.   25 August 2011: I reckon it would be ok, but I reckon at some point in the relationship I would want her to give up her career in the interests of our relationship.... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to have a relationship with a much older man?

Q.   An older man contacted me. He is older by a lot but likes me and wants to have a relationship. I like him but he is old! and i am waaaay younger. He wants me sexually but is it wrong to like someone with a 50 year difference? Is something wrong with ...

A.   22 August 2011: go for it sweetheart, you may learn something, just make sure he's not a pervert first. I would like someone in my life who is wise and age usually brings wisdom. it is better to learn from someone than by direct experience, if you beleive in them.... (read in full...)

Why do some women feel so bad if their man watches porn?

Q.   I ask this question as I'm fed up seeing questions about porn coming up frequently and women complaining about their men watchin it. I'm 26, I've had 3 serious relationships and each man has loved to watch porn. Sometimes I've watched it with the...

A.   22 August 2011: I was very unimpressed with person12345's point of view. I doubt many of her facts are accurate. but I think as a man if my female partner had a much greater sex drive than me and watched a lot of porn(notice I said a lot) then I would be a bit ... (read in full...)

My ex(?) shagged my best mate

Q.   I honestly feel like i,m losing everything. My man stop talking to me so I,ve assumed we're finished and if that is not bad enough a close family friend and my man's best friend told me that he shagged my best mate a month ago. I feel so betrayed by ...

A.   20 August 2011: the best revenge is to get over it so you can look those bastards in the eye and smile so hard you nearly have to laugh. the best way to get over it is to develop other interests so that you have other things to think about. and I'm not talking ... (read in full...)

I caught my husband in bed with another woman.

Q.   i saw my husband on bed with another woman may 13 2011 his friends gve me the hint and help me open to reality, the worst day of my life. i hate him now and we have a child. a very beautiful child. i want to teach him a hard lesson??? tell me how?...

A.   20 August 2011: I can imagine that it must be aweful. the best thing can can do is make yourself mentally and emotionally independent from him. revenge is useless. I read something recently. You should imagine yourself looking directly at his face and smile and ... (read in full...)

He tells me some men take advantage, and I am paranoid he is one who will

Q.   my boyfriend is younger than me. He is from a different country and is muslim. He wants to get married in the next few weeks at the local register office. and would like a baby. He lives with his cousins but has been staying with me every night ...

A.   15 August 2011: I think you're answering the question yourself. He sounds a tad possessive and controlling. although this is nice because he seems to want to be close to you, he also wants access to your money as soon as possible. there are too many warning bells ... (read in full...)

Is there a time limit for how long I can keep a sugar Daddy interested?

Q.   I turned 29 a fortnight ago. I will be 30 next year at this time. Throughout my 20s I have had several sugar daddies, older men who supported me financially whilst I was pursuing my musical aspirations. They've been good chaps over all, tho of cour...

A.   15 August 2011: if you want to bonk for money thats your business, but I think maverick494 has a point, there is a time for play and a time to grow up. if you think it's your lifestyle carry on for the rest of your life. you will always be able to find an older ... (read in full...)

HIV Questions

Q.   NOTE: TWO QUESTIONS FROM SAME ASKER COMBINED Can me and my baby remain negativ wen my husband is hiv positiv? Is it advisable to marry a man with hiv?...

A.   15 August 2011: my sister had a baby when she was hiv positive and the baby was ok. I would not say this was the rule. you should seek medical advice... (read in full...)

Why is it easier for some people to find partners than it is for others?

Q.   Why is it easier for some people to find partners than it is for others? After my most recent relationship broke down back in February, my ex girlfriend had herself a new partner within weeks of the split (they are still together to this day). I ...

A.   15 August 2011: these things are a bit random. I haven't had a proper relationship for more than a year. I've had a couple of phases of leaning on unsuitable people. we are all relationship dependant to a point. but while out of a relationship there are moments ... (read in full...)

Will I ALWAYS be single?

Q.   I am 28 and I only had sex with one man (we had a short relationship when I was 23 - he was 50). He broke my heart very bad. I haven't been able to be in a relationship ever since, just online flirting which turned out it lead to nothing serious. ...

A.   14 August 2011: don't feel alone. everyone including me asks themselves this question. my brother didn't have a girlfiend till he was 40, then he married the most beautiful girl in the world. some people go from one to the next to the next. some people wait 1/2 a ... (read in full...)

Why is it easier for some people to find partners than it is for others?

Q.   Why is it easier for some people to find partners than it is for others? After my most recent relationship broke down back in February, my ex girlfriend had herself a new partner within weeks of the split (they are still together to this day). I ...

A.   9 August 2011: you are doing better than your ex-girlfriend. you need time to collect yourself after a relationship ends and establish yourself as you, which is what you are doing. some people just fall out of one relationship into another because they are ... (read in full...)

Sexy stud, or sex dud

Q.   Good day... I never went public about this before, but this site seems really good for people to express their relationships. Someone help me out here... I think I'm strugglin' with e.d. . MY OWN methods have not worked for me thus far. I can...

A.   8 August 2011: make them come first and then finish yourself off. it takes the pressure away and then next time it'll work for you.... (read in full...)

Good marriage, but I want more

Q.   Hi, I want to vent and maybe get some perspective from Aunts here. I read the site often. I'm an average guy, been married for almost 15 years and together for about 20 years with my wife. We have many children and most of the time we have a g...

A.   6 August 2011: you haven't got it too bad mate. women generally are a lot less aggressive sexually than men. they also loose their hormones a lot quicker and earlier than men. they can take hrt but there's supposed to be a cancer risk. a lot of women your age ... (read in full...)

For any man having an affair

Q.   I have a question for any married, or attached men out there who have had an affair- Did any of you have (or are having) a long term affair, and have fallen in love with the "Other woman", but still stay with your wife or girlfriend? If this i...

A.   6 August 2011: you should bail out for this reason, the man is having his cake and eating it too. he has the excitement and romance of an affair and also the stability and security of a marriage. you will never get what you want until you bail. once that is done ... (read in full...)

Is it a turn off to have sex on your period?

Q.   Hey, know this is a weird question but if u have sex with a boy when your on your period is it a turn off ? ...

A.   4 August 2011: not at all. don't worry about it. sometimes it's just the opposite.... (read in full...)

Why arent women hardwired to accept porn if all men are hardwired to watch it?

Q.   If all men are "hardwired" to look at porn and women other than their girlfriends or wives then why aren't all women hardwired to be understanding and accepting of this? ...

A.   3 August 2011: yos is pretty much spot on, but there is a difference in perception between men and women about porn. men are in love with the real live woman that they are with. porn is to kill a pain that grows. women should never feel jealous of the porn women ... (read in full...)

Husband will only sleep with me once every two weeks and it's driving me crazy!

Q.   My sex drive seems out of control. My husband doesn't really like to have sex with me as much as I think I need. Not only that, but when I do have sex with him, I feel disappointed. He has never been able to make me orgasm. He is the only person I ...

A.   3 August 2011: now you know what most men feel like. sorry i had to say that. but seriously you have to talk to him about it. he may as you say be using it to manipulate you but he should look after your needs, talking is the only thing that will fix it. he may be ... (read in full...)

Guys: What would you really want your girl to do in bed?

Q.   My boyfriend of three years and I have decided that we want to try to experiment more in bed. I am coming up with a list of things that we can try but I don't know if there are others that I haven't thought of. So far I have: Anal Threesome ...

A.   2 August 2011: I wouldn't do any of those things. What I think you should do is remove the focus from sex to more of a total body experience. That way when you get around to sex the rest of the body will feel really involved. get naked and get rubbing in all the ... (read in full...)

Are there any happy marriages out there? Is there any hope for me and my high school sweetheart?

Q.   Are there any happy marriages out there? I'm afraid that if I marry my high school sweetheart, he'll stop loving me later on and want a divorce. He's made it pretty clear that he wants a future with me, but I don't know since I hear a lot of high ...

A.   2 August 2011: that is a big question. I think for a marriage to last you both have to be very good communicators and you should also be really into each other in a mutual way. my parents have been together for nearly 60 years. they are happy. but then later ... (read in full...)

Sex doesn't feel good for me!

Q.   I'm confused and a little frustrated. For some reason, I rarely ever enjoy sex. Right now I am with my first boyfriend and we started having sex a little over three months ago and I still haven't been able to fully enjoy myself. I think there was ...

A.   2 August 2011: it requires a lot of communication between you and your boyfriend to bring you to a point where you feel pleasure from sex. he wants to go bang-bang and you wanta slow sensual buildup. make him listen and explain it to him. mens sexuality is basic ... (read in full...)

I'm a 21 year old male virgin and I feel so pressured to lose it.

Q.   Hi, I'm 21 soon to be 22 and I'm still a virgin. For the most part I'm OK with it 90% of the time but the other 10% is hard to deal with. Growing up I was usually the last of the bunch to do certain things (driving, dating, etc.) and I still am and ...

A.   31 July 2011: when you get older you will realise that peer pressure about these things is crazy. I was a late bloomer too and ultimately you get into a relationship and get to know how a woman works and go from there. statistics are unimportant. When one of my ... (read in full...)

Any "happy ending" love stories?

Q.   There are too many "my horrible love life is slowly killing me" posts. Anybody have any happy ending, true love, stories? Thanks! :)...

A.   29 July 2011: I'm happy and one of the reasons is because my wife of nearly 20 years demanded a divorce a year ago. I spent 6 months getting used to being single and now after another 6 months of being single I've just met a lovely woman who thinks the world of ... (read in full...)

How can I improve my attention span when studying?

Q.   I can't be attentive in my study.when i start studying i frequently lose my attention.after reading for so many times i forget what i read the previous day.how can i complete my studies in due time with proper attention? ...

A.   29 July 2011: this is not easy for some people. I have the same problem as does my daughter. i would write a list of what I have to do and then edit/update that list on a regular basis. view the list as a timetable that must be completed. there is also a bottom ... (read in full...)

Is it worth sacrificing the sexual excitement for some nice loving companionship?

Q.   I have met this lovely woman who has all the personality attributes I want I think so far. She wants to be my girlfriend but she's vey bad at sex. She's either stiff as a board or moves awkwardly. This ultimately results in my getting a softie. Her ...

A.   29 July 2011: thanks anonymous reader that was a really wonderful reply. I think theres a spark there or at least I hope so I'll try some of those things.... (read in full...)

Trying to pass off another man's child as my husbands....Is this really such a big deal?

Q.   I have been married for 2 months, but pregnant with another man's baby. i dated by husband for 3 years, but he really treated me badly for a while. I fell pregant by him and he "forced", me to abort, which i regreted.I resorted to cheating on him ...

A.   25 July 2011: under the circumstances I think you are doing the right thing. by the way my sisterinlaw comes from arusha... (read in full...)

I did not make these things happen. But they do affect me. How do people deal with these family pressures?

Q.   What would you think,if your whole life got attacked by really bad fate? My life history is so tragic, nobody would eve believe it. My brother killed himself years ago, than my sister got into heroin and overdosed. Than my boyfriend died i...

A.   19 July 2011: you are having a tough ride and you're only young. I myself have been having it tough these past few years. I try to build up a little portfolio of positive things in my life to offset the bad. It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault, these things ... (read in full...)

Men: What's the difference in how you treat a serious GF and a wife?

Q.   Question for the married men: What is the difference in how you treated your wife when she was your serious girlfriend/fiance - and when she became your wife? I'm asking because I'm in a monogamous relationship for 6 months. We both say we lov...

A.   17 July 2011: it's the same for men as women. we love someone we want to be with them. we don't want to be involved with other people. the only difference is the sex drive. we have it and you don't so much. but apart from that and more importantly is the ... (read in full...)

Please help me save my marriage...

Q.   My wife and I have been together for 16 years, married for 13 years. During this time we got along well in a day-to-day sense, but 5 years into the marriage she moved out of our apartment and into an apartment of her own. The ostensible reaso...

A.   17 June 2011: it reminds me of my marriage. go home so you can find yourself. there is nought to be gained by flogging a dead horse. your wife and you probably totally understand each other on some levels and that is so fantastic. but on other levels that are ... (read in full...)

G/f of 9 years cheated and says she doesn't know why!

Q.   my gf of 9 years cheated on me and says she doesnt know why she did it, we have a 3yr old daughter together own a house, 2 vehicles and 2 buisness together. i feel very betrayed but how can i just up and leave with everything we have together. she ...

A.   9 June 2011: she doesn't know why she did it is a problem. if she can't understand her own motives or doesn't want to explain them to you then you have a problem. How do you know the person she was unfaithful with didn't dump her. I understand forgive and forget ... (read in full...)

How can you be too clingy in a relationship?

Q.   Dear all, I was recently dumped for reasons that included in me being "too clingy". I don't know how this is possible as when your in a relationship your meant to be there for each other. Its left many questions in my mind those of which won't b...

A.   6 June 2011: too clingy is when you won't give your partner breathing space. it's a judgement that is often unfair because if you don't have that special feeling for a person then anything they do is too clingy. but some people are just too clingy regardless. ... (read in full...)

Is it ok for my bf to still talk and remain friends with someone he has slept with?

Q.   So today my bf got a text and I asked who it was just curious and he was, like, what's it matter. And then he told me. It wasn't nothing but a simple "hey" but it was a girl he has had sex with before didn't date or anything just wanted some I ...

A.   4 June 2011: I don't reckon it's ok. It seems like she might have some interest in him and I would discourage the association. By the same token it may be all completely innocent apart from some feelings so there's no need to get crazy. I would keep my eye on ... (read in full...)

Should a 20-year-old mildly autistic woman marry a 47-year-old whom she met in a home for adults with special needs?

Q.   My name is, well, I'll call myself Teralyn, and I'm 20 years old. I live in a home for adults with special needs, but I plan to move out exactly one year from tomorrow (Today is Tuesday, May 31st, 2011, and I plan to move out on Friday, June 1st, ...

A.   1 June 2011: the age difference is a significant factor but you can't be ruled by this. You should carry on with your plans. The engagement date is still 1 year 9 months away. You are entitled to enjoy your life the best way you can. Wellwishers including your ... (read in full...)

Wife will not have sex with me if she's sober

Q.   My wife will not have sex with me unless she has several drinks in her. We have been married for over 20 years and this has been the case since the begining. When I was younger, I knew that this was kind of disfunctional and I tried to talk to her ...

A.   16 May 2011: it probably reduces her inhibitions. it might not be about you. maybe you could try sex in the mornings. you've been married a long time with patterns in place. you will need to make big changes and make this one of them. try changing a lot of other ... (read in full...)

Troubles in the bedroom, how do I ask him to get checked?

Q.   I am currently going out with a fantastic guy. We are very much in love; however, whilst engaging in sexual intercourse he has problems ejaculating, and even if he does so, it usually takes hours, which puts him off sex. I am inquiring as to whether ...

A.   13 May 2011: considering his age and the hormones I think it might be that he's playing with his todger too much. Make hime give it a rest for a week nd see what happens. I'm sure it's not you.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend said to his friend he is not attracted to me and I have a fat ass!

Q.   Found conversations between my bf and a friend of his. He was telling her how he really likes me and that i am one of the nicest people out. But he hates my ass. He thinks it is fat and is not attracted to it. He is horny as fuck but doesnt even ...

A.   4 April 2011: you're spot on chihgirl. there's just 2 other things in order of importance. firstly men often like a woman with ample proportions and I suspect your boyfriend was one of those until some point in time. what changed his mind and don't think it was ... (read in full...)

What does a man feel emotionally when receiving oral sex?

Q.   Hey guys....I read something once that "Giving a man a blow job is like giving a woman flowers" What kind of feeling does it give a man when she wants to give him a bj? Is it just a feel good sexual act or do you guys feel a connection with ...

A.   22 March 2011: I don't even like BJs, never have never will. I like to be more involved. I bet there's plenty of men like me. I'd prefer to get flowers. I don't kno why women insist on doing it to me. I guess they expect that I will like it. I wonder if they like ... (read in full...)

All my friends are 'doing stuff' I don't want to though... reassurance?

Q.   Hello everyone, I am 15 and so are all of my friends, at least five of them are doing things with there boyfriends which I would Never do! For example some are being friged? One has been licked out and one has given a hand job - Even when I fall...

A.   15 March 2011: when I look back on my life I don't regret starting to have sex late. It allowed me to explore other aspects of my life without the pressure of relationships and sex. And there are a lot of other aspects that you should learn about when you are ... (read in full...)

If you have sex, how do you feel, if you cannot make her finish?

Q.   If you're a guy, how does it make you feel if you cannot make her finish during sex? ...

A.   11 March 2011: the truth is a man likes to make his woman come. if they can't find a way of doing that then it's a bit of a downer for both of them unless you're a guy that doesn't care. as the others say it doesn't have to be penetrative sex it can be any way. I ... (read in full...)

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