A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:To put it simply, I have a really bad kink that involves getting off on taboo fantasies. I've fantasized about strange things most other women don't such as picturing my boyfriend with another woman, and I have read incest erotica online, but NONE of these fantasies mean I have the intention to follow through with in reality. It's just the thought of these things. (And no, the incest aspect doesn't extend to me thinking of my own family, just thinking of other faceless people who are related.)My fantasies never go further than this, and always share my fantasies with my boyfriend who has so far been open to everything I've shared. He allows me to say things without being judged, understanding it's in the mind, and it's made our sex life great. But the problem is my current taboo fantasy that I'm ashamed of involves something he had actually done in the past that he is not proud of.Twenty years ago, he molested his stepdaughter and has been rehabilitating himself since then and done very well. He's regretful he hurt her, and that it's cost him a lot of freedoms now as he's a registered sex offender. My problem is that I have tendencies lately to fantasize about what he had done. I absolutely do not want him to think my fantasy means it's okay with me that he committed this crime, or that I think it's okay if he reoffends. It's absolutely not. It's in my mind and that's all it is. But once it's out my mouth and I tell him, I worry that men like him who once commit these crimes will have an issue with continuing to rehabilitate. For him it's been twenty years. It's been a long time.His rehabilitating (or healing) is something I absolutely do not want to risk, yet I feel he welcomes all my other fantasies and wants to know them all even when we understand nothing will be acted upon.Is this too much to bring in to our sex life, to share with him this particular one? If I should leave this alone and never tell him, how can I get through this? I don't know how to approach even a counsellor about this. It seems I'm always needing kink and taboo on the brain to get off, and this was one thing that involved him and I feel awful about it.Thanks for all your input.
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male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (26 July 2014):
 And how's the step daughter that he molested's rehab and heeling coming along? Sadly its usually the victims that heal the least.
You partner is a sex offender, a child abuser, someone most of us wouldn't want in the same country let alone our lives. Yet you not only stay with this guy but also fantasies about his horrific crimes? Really? Yes you need councilling and maybe ask yourself why you are drawn to him in the first instance.
You havea duty to never, ever do anything that could make your partner tempted to molest another child. Ever. We all have fantasies but for most of us its not actually difficult to keep them to ourselves if they are out of the ordinary or illegal. if you cannot contain this then you must seek councelling or consider leaving tis relationship as its too much of a risk of having him molest another child.
A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (26 July 2014):
 By no means should you tell him. Take this fantasy to the grave. I mean it. Don't tell him. Sometimes it's best to keep certain things to yourself you know? As you've said, it's one of your fantasies and just because you fantasize, it does not mean that you'd like to replicate it. Put it down as that. Just a fantasy. That's all it is. So who needs to know? Especially since it could be damaging. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2014): NEVER, EVER TELL HIM THAT INCEST FANTASY BECAUSE IT COULD TRIP A WIRE IN HIS BRAIN ABOUT THE PAST!
Sorry; I had to caps lock all of that because it's so important. That's one fantasy you can NEVER share with him.
If this fantasy bothers you, you could see a counsellor, but keep it to yourself otherwise.
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