Overweight and unhappy!
Q. Okay I'd really like some help on this. Something that has got me down for about 4 years. I'll shoot straight into it. I'm overweight. I'm not huge but I feel it. I don't wear anything that reveals my arms (because they are gross), and i don't wear ...
A. 3 March 2011: Just keep staying active. There is no "secret" really. Aside from your body's natural metabolic rate, which you cannot control, everything else is up to you. You can maintain the calories you take in and enhance the calories you burn through ... (read in full...)
I've become obsessed with my body and finding it difficult to resume a healthy eating pattern.
Q. Hi, i'm hoping you can help me out on an issue with my weight. I'm a tall woman, around 5"9 and have a BMI of 19.3, within the 'normal' range. I've always been self-conscious about my weight, believing I was fat, so last summer, weighing al...
A. 2 March 2011: I agree with Honeypie. You should really seek out professional counsel. There is a common misconception that being unhealthy = gaining weight and that being healthy = losing weight. But I'll skip the lecture because I think you know that. Over... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's sense of humor.
Q. My girlfriend has mesmerizing sense of humor which can bring out something funny even of the most tense situation . Some time I feel jealous that why I can't match her sense of humor . Though, I'm proud of her having this natural gifted thing but I ...
A. 1 March 2011: Don't worry about it; two people with the same personality, especially a humorous one, tend to clash :P In this case, she's the one who makes the jokes and you are the one who endears her through laughter. You can't really control what you find ... (read in full...)
I married my husband but I still think on my ex
Q. I had a boyfriend that I loved so much we were together for 6 years and I gave him my virginity. I was young but I loved him so, but he use to be so controlling and very very jealous, that even though it broke my heart I broke up him. There was not ...
A. 1 March 2011: As others have mentioned, you seem to be in love with the memory of him. I too had my first true love who I lost. I still think about her every day and it becomes really hard to continue on my current relationship when I think on her so much. But ... (read in full...)
Will a guy ever find me attractive?
Q. Will I ever find a guy that likes me? I'm 14 (15 in a few months), and no guy has ever shown any romantic interest in me. Only one of my friends has had a boyfriend, but all of them have either been asked out or has had someone obviously crushing...
A. 1 March 2011: Guys at that age are very very shy. Even if they act out going to try and get attention, chances are they are too insecure to say anything to you directly. I'm certain there are guys that have their eye on you, but just don't have the courage to ... (read in full...)
Why did this happen? Is he not interested in sex with me anymore?
Q. I was having sex with my bf of a year the other day. I was on top and he went a bit floppy, enough for it to keep falling out/being hard to get back in (sorry to be graphic). After about 5 mins he ended up finishing. Im just wondering if anyone h...
A. 28 February 2011: How long have you been having sex? If its still very early in your sex life, chances are he's still very nervous about things, which is normal but also has an effect on erections.
The more comfortable you become with one another, the smoother... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is going to prom with someone else!
Q. Hey guys, I am sort of in a dilemma. I am in highschool and I have a girlfriend of about 6 months. We both really like each other, talk everyday, and just generally feel really relaxed and comfortable around each other. But now, as the time for prom ...
A. 27 February 2011: "Also, my gf's parents don't know about our relationship." Well, I was questioning the whole situation, especially the nosiness of the mothers, until I read this line towards the end. That right there is your problem. 1. Why do they not know ... (read in full...)
Male input please!
Q. Having read so many posts from blokes complaining about their girlfriends, wives etc never initiating sexual acts (be it oral, full intercourse or whatever) I realized I'm one of these women. I read one post that struck a chord - my boyfriend ini...
A. 27 February 2011: Don't worry about appearing masculine or being rejected. For one, guys won't usually turn down sex if its initiated correctly. (Saying, "Hey, want to do it?" won't really turn him on) Its all about your attitude. When you two are together, an... (read in full...)
B/f broke up with me and is now ringing me asking for another chance!
Q. What should I do about my boyfriend? I love him so much:(? My boyfriend broke up with a couple of hours ago, he said he's not the guy for me he doesn't deserve me and I could find someone better who would give me everything I want in life, a...
A. 27 February 2011: Sounds like he just made a mistake. He was probably getting some stuff off of his chest and made a hasty decision in the process. But, you need to watch out for this in the future. I know this guy who is actually quite a nice person, but he's... (read in full...)
My 13 year old son is making out with his girlfriend? Should I allow this?
Q. my 13 year old son has a girlfriend the same aged as him. They always hold hands, Kiss all the time, And slap/squeeze/grab each other on the bum. Should i allow this? I think its fine because they aint going far. ...
A. 27 February 2011: 90% of 13 year olds out there are aching for a relationship but don't have the self confidence to make anything happen. Middle school is an awkward and terrifying portion of everyone's life. Along with puberty, comes bad cases of ABS (Awkward Body ... (read in full...)
I get angry for no reason...is this hormonal?
Q. I get really angry, for no reason. I get really emotional just before my period, which is normal, but I get angry over nothing at random times. I get angry just walking to school, or sitting in class or at home watching TV- literally for no reaso...
A. 27 February 2011: It sounds like you're subconsciously disappointed over some element of your life. The frustration and anger is probably always there, but the pre-menstral time of the month is just exacerbating it and making it more noticeable. There may be s... (read in full...)
I am a virgin, is moving in with my fiancé a good idea?
Q. Im a virgin moving in with my fiancée, is that a good idea? We have been been dating for 2 years, and have been engaged for 4 months. Our wedding is in a month. We have recently bought a house (it has three bedrooms). My fiancee wants us to move in ...
A. 27 February 2011: Personally, I'd move in with him. Your wedding is in a month and if you really want to wait it out, I'm sure it'll be no problem. I'm very much an advocate of only having sex with that one person you truly want to be with forever, but wai... (read in full...)
How do I make the transition from boyfriend to friend? I don't want to lose her!
Q. Hi everyone, just looking for some advice. Myself and my girlfriend broke up yesterday. We knew that it was on the horizon though, because we are both at university and I am in my final year and will hence be moving away in the summer. She is i...
A. 24 February 2011: Sometimes love isn't so convenient, and it sucks. I'm really sorry to hear that things had to end on such circumstances. It sounds like you two really care for one another; its sad to see outside forces tear apart something so wonderful. I'm sort ... (read in full...)
How do I stop thinking about and texting my ex-boyfriend??
Q. I'm becoming really obsessed with ex boyfriend. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago and I'm still in love with him. I've texted him almost everyday since we broke up telling him how much I miss him, how I want him back and apologizing for the mean ...
A. 24 February 2011: You need to convince yourself that he clearly doesn't want communication. By trying to contact him, you're only making things worse on yourself. If he really wanted to talk to you he would have responded by now. At this point, its clear he really ... (read in full...)
Am I in love? How can I know for sure??
Q. Theres this guy who I recently met in June of 2011. He is two years older than me, and we started talking and got to know each other and even started hanging out a lot. He is so amazing, and I really think I love him and I tell him I do, and he says ...
A. 24 February 2011: I wouldn't call this love as I would say its "infatuation." I personally think it takes a long while to truly know if you love someone or not. Premature "I love you's" lead to a lot of heart ache when one person realizes they weren't ready for ... (read in full...)
How the hell are people able to break up and not get devastated??
Q. OK so it has been a week since this girl I was in a relationship and I stopped speaking. I initiated it because she was lying and hurting me and we talked about it for weeks before and I know it was the best thing. BUT...it is killing me!!! It...
A. 22 February 2011: When my first love and I separated, I was sure I would never be the same. I tried dating around a bit and met some nice girls, but I just couldn't replace her in my heart. For a while, it felt like I'd be damaged by her forever. It wasn't until I ... (read in full...)
My sudden awareness of my love life has made me feel I need to date every girl out there!
Q. Ive been looking at how to go out with girls lately, as I feel my love life has been kinda non existent. Ive gone through a ton of articles and asked for advice through websites such as this one and im wondering if its normal to suddenly feel like ...
A. 22 February 2011: Its good that you see you don't feel you're being yourself when you're aware of your actions, however you should still be aware of them. I always use my roommate as an example. Without beating around the bush, he's kind of a dick. He's nice to ... (read in full...)
I want to know how to be a better kisser, not what not to do!
Q. Could someone please help me with this? All I keep reading is what NOT to do, but rarely do I find suggestions on what TO DO. I've had no shortage of practice but my kisses are still just so so. I had one girlfriend who was a phenomenal kisse...
A. 22 February 2011: While there are techniques of the mouth (using the tongue, softly biting her lips, etc.) a LOT of how a woman is feeling while making out has to do with your overall actions.
Can she tell you're into it? Do you just sit stationary, moving o... (read in full...)
Sex has never happened for me and I'm worried I will end up an old maid!
Q. Looking for some advice; I'm a 23 year old female, and I've never had sex. It's not a question or beliefs, or prudishness- it's just not something that ever happened. In highschool and university I hung out mainly with other girls, and I never ...
A. 22 February 2011: I know that the whole "there's someone out there for you," bit of advice isn't particularly fun to hear... but its honestly true. There is someone out there for you.
BUT!!! That does not mean you should sit idly by and assume they'll show up ... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt the person who was so amazing to me for so many years. What should I do?
Q. hello i have this male friend for 5 years..... during those 5 years i lost both my best friend and my father for cancer.... he stood by me all the time and helped me a lot ....he pulled my hair back when i cried, slept over to stay with me to make ...
A. 18 February 2011: You need to be honest with him as soon as you can. Its clear he got the completely wrong idea about you two. The sooner you tell him, the better it will be.
As of now, whether he takes it well or not is out of your control. You can only bre... (read in full...)
Is my sexual fantasy sick?
Q. I have never felt sexually fulfilled in a relationship and I am ashamed that I cannot be normal. I have a shameful fantasy that I have never told a soul about because it seems too taboo to talk about. I have fantasies about tying my gf's wrist, g...
A. 15 February 2011: Everyone has their kinks. However, some can be dangerous and some can risk taking the beauty out of sex. In this case, a dominant position that you seem to want to take can suggest that you would rather use your partners body to satisfy your needs ... (read in full...)
I made a big mistake when was drunk and now my ex hates me
Q. I was with my girlfriend for a year and a half when she broke up with me out of the blue. We were in college together and I'm pretty sure she left me for another guy although I was never able to catch them together acting anything more than friends. ...
A. 14 February 2011: Like dirtball said, you need to move on from here. It was obvious that she didn't want to date you again even before this drunken incident. She said it herself. All she wanted from you was a friendship.
All you can really do is tell her that... (read in full...)
Don't want to be a rebound, but want to keep her interested until she's really ready to date again
Q. I met this girl who had just broken up with her bf a month prior from when we started talking. and weve hung out once and had a great time and we flirt and she calls me cute little nicknames like sugerplum, and cutie pie. but i know she hasnt gotten ...
A. 14 February 2011: The easiest way is to get her into your circle of friends. Get your friends get to know her and try and get to know her friends. Maybe you can all go out sometime on a Friday night. Once she's not only friends with you, but the other people you ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and I was wondering if its wrong to befriend a 12 yr old girl...?
Q. So yesterday I had a "houseconcert" of piano, quite like an exercise for the real concert in 2 weeks. It was organised by my piano teacher. It was at his house. Unlike the usual concerts, it was a warm concert because there were only 9 people ...
A. 14 February 2011: From the outside, it won't look very good. In a year you'll be considered an adult and she'll be just 13. I'd say that if you really wanted to continue a friendship, make sure other people (like her friends and your friends) are around.
One o... (read in full...)
Tired of having sex on her terms. What can I do?
Q. Here's my dilemma: I've moved in with my girlfriend of 14 months. She's had numerous (unknown number) lovers in the past, and she has been my first and only sexual partner. I DON'T want this to be a retroactive jealousy post, but what ...
A. 10 February 2011: Maybe you could find something new for both of you. Try asking her if there is anything (reasonable) that she's wanted to try sexual, but has never actually done. If she finds something, chances are it will be something both of you haven't tried. ... (read in full...)
I want her back, should I write a letter?
Q. Hey guys, so was dating this girl for almost 2 years and she broke up with me. She never told me why though, but I could figure that out a little myself, we've always been fine but lately both of us were feeling depressed. And seeing as...
A. 10 February 2011: Wow this sounds familiar. I was in nearly the same situation not so long ago. We dated for about 2 years, were very much in love, had plans to spend our lives together, and shared a lot of incredibly happy memories. All of a sudden, she started ... (read in full...)
We started exploring kinks and now I'm feeling that things are out of hand
Q. So me and my girlfriend are fairly kinky and I know she likes BDSM (since a friend took her to an event last year) so I asked her if she'd like to go to a rope workshop in a couple of weeks.. This tipped over a few more dominoes than expected, s...
A. 10 February 2011: Well without getting into too much of a psychoanalysis, its fairly common that people who seek an exploration of sexual kinks (especially polygamy) are either uninterested in their current relationship, or lack confidence in the excitement of their ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex but the guys I like prefer slim girls
Q. Im 17, and a virgin, im a size 16-18 and i really want to have sex! ive had no sexual experiences, I just want to get out there! The only thing is, then guys im into, tend to like slim girls, i dont think i'll be able to find a guy that likes my...
A. 10 February 2011: First off, do not feel pressured to experience sex just because your friends have. From what you wrote, it seems like you only want to lose your virginity because you want to keep up with the other girls. I'll say right now that it is not a ... (read in full...)
I'll decide to leave then I'll think about the way he cuddles me at night and I feel like I could never love someone like that ever again.
Q. Hi guys wondered if you could help me. Iv lived with my boyfriend about 3 years and he is a very mixed up guy who's hurt me a lot of times. He's paranoid and jealous, has abused me emotionally very majorly, frequently tells me I'm stupid etc, phy...
A. 9 February 2011: Every couple has good memories as well as bad. However, your bad memories involve physical and emotional abuse, which is NOT okay. Leave him before he ends up hurting you even more and save yourself the trouble of being in a toxic relationship. ... (read in full...)
I watch my boyfriend flounder and float through life. Do I end things with him?
Q. For a little bit of background, I'm a college bound girl. School is very important to me, and I've been looking forward to going to college and then moving on to life for as long as I can remember. My boyfriend and I have been together for a b...
A. 8 February 2011: Some people grow out of it; some don't. A lot of men are not very driven during High School. Let's face it; you're taking a load of classes you don't want to take or aren't interested in. Once you're in college, however, you choose your schedule. ... (read in full...)
What do I do about my loss of interest in sex?
Q. I want to start this off with this: I am not looking for pity in this post, because I am sick and tired of girls (and guys) just looking for attention. I am truly looking for advice because I have nowhere else to go. The last place I wanted to throw ...
A. 8 February 2011: The clear answer is that after what happened with you and your ex, you have developed a very negative image of sex, which is understandable. He violated your space and your trust and that whole idea became the lens through which you see sexual ... (read in full...)
I'm having some second thoughts about Valentine's Day celebrations, but am I wrong ?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for a little over six years and on days like Valentines, anniversaries, Christmas, and birthdays I always try my best to make the occasion special. However, over the last year, I get the feeling that these types of ...
A. 8 February 2011: Off Topic: When you abbreviate Valentine's Day as "V-Day," you are actually saying Veteran's Day. Something to note, but anyways... On Topic: That does sound tough. Overall there just needs to be some communication on this topic. Sit her ... (read in full...)
Girls on his phone???
Q. I recently got into a relationship with someone who lives quite far away from me at least a one hour car journey. we get on so well and we really like eachother. we were out the other day and he was texting I asked him who he was texting and before ...
A. 7 February 2011: Its easy to feel paranoid about these things, and its good that you are wary of jumping to conclusions. I would have an honest talk with him about it if it really concerns you. Don't make it a fight or an argument; express as kindly as you can ... (read in full...)
She's cheated on my 6 times now and doesn't know I know...
Q. My girlfriend, and lead singer of my band, has cheated on me 6 times. I still love her, im hopeless like this. She doesn't know i know, but, what do i do? I really love her, and i just blame myself for not always being there for her. Should i tell h...
A. 7 February 2011: Its obvious she neither loves you nor respects you. If she did, she wouldn't behave this way. I know its not what you want, but you have to see that this relationship is not good for you. She is not good for you.
I highly recommend ending i... (read in full...)
I like good conversation. How can I encourage my GF to talk more too?
Q. My girlfriend and I are wonderful together, we get along, we have a wonderful sex life and see each other every day. Sounds perfect right? Not quite. I like talking, I like conversation, I like expressing opinions, but she doesn't. My girlfriend ...
A. 6 February 2011: What is it exactly that you try and get her to talk about? Politics? Current events? Religion or world views? If those are the sorts of things you like to converse about, maybe she feels uneducated on those topics and is too insecure to share her ... (read in full...)
What should I do to regain her interest? Advice needed!
Q. Ok, so I've been dating this girl I met a couple of months ago. And it started off great! She was crazy about me and she had strong feelings towards me. She loved my personality, my confidence, my great sense of humor... Things were going very ...
A. 6 February 2011: First off, you seem to have a good handle on your emotions. Even if you did do things she might see as clingy, you are perfectly aware of what you did and realize that your actions weren't compatible with what she wanted. From here, it will be a ... (read in full...)
Why do people yo-yo with their weight?
Q. Why do people yo-yo weight gain/loss? I have a friend (mid-thirties) who put on loads of weight shortly after his marriage (about 70 lbs) then, just before dumping his wife, got fit and lost loads of weight to meet his next beau. He now lives with ...
A. 2 February 2011: My mood about how active I am does seem to extend from my happiness, but in a much different way than most people. When I'm feeling depressed or upset, instead of indulging in food or TV, I immediately hit the weight room. Whenever I start to feel ... (read in full...)
Mixed signals, how to interpret?
Q. Hi All, I am a girl in my twenties. At the beginning of this year I met a guy who shared a common grad class with me. At the same time he met another girl and they entered into a relationship. Although this guy had his gf yet we turned into best of ...
A. 25 January 2011: In all honesty, though I'm sure the questions are burning inside you, it will serve you much better to drop the entire conspiring idea and leave him out of your life.
Since it all happened so recently, yes, you will have those mornings... (read in full...)
Mixed signals, how to interpret?
Q. Hi All, I am a girl in my twenties. At the beginning of this year I met a guy who shared a common grad class with me. At the same time he met another girl and they entered into a relationship. Although this guy had his gf yet we turned into best of ...
A. 25 January 2011: Yes I think some space would be the best solution at this point. Moving on will definitely be much easier than waiting around for him. Wish you the best.... (read in full...)
Mixed signals, how to interpret?
Q. Hi All, I am a girl in my twenties. At the beginning of this year I met a guy who shared a common grad class with me. At the same time he met another girl and they entered into a relationship. Although this guy had his gf yet we turned into best of ...
A. 24 January 2011: Hope he is, at the very least, honest with you in his reply :) feel free to keep giving updates. Best of luck.... (read in full...)
Mixed signals, how to interpret?
Q. Hi All, I am a girl in my twenties. At the beginning of this year I met a guy who shared a common grad class with me. At the same time he met another girl and they entered into a relationship. Although this guy had his gf yet we turned into best of ...
A. 23 January 2011: I'm sorry to hear that things haven't worked out. At this point its hard to say. There really is no "right" thing to do. I honestly don't think there is any problem in being honest with him and telling him how you have been/are feeling. Let him ... (read in full...)
Mixed signals, how to interpret?
Q. Hi All, I am a girl in my twenties. At the beginning of this year I met a guy who shared a common grad class with me. At the same time he met another girl and they entered into a relationship. Although this guy had his gf yet we turned into best of ...
A. 14 November 2010: I think there is definitely a connection between you two. Just because he started relationships earlier in the past doesn't mean that will always be his decision. I've started relationships within months after one ended, which always ended up bad ... (read in full...)
Mixed signals, how to interpret?
Q. Hi All, I am a girl in my twenties. At the beginning of this year I met a guy who shared a common grad class with me. At the same time he met another girl and they entered into a relationship. Although this guy had his gf yet we turned into best of ...
A. 14 November 2010: Well I have a lot of scattered thoughts about this, so I'll just label them in number form:
1. You said that you believe taking initiative in these situations hampers your reputation as a girl. Let me just say that times have changed since th... (read in full...)
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