A
male
age
36-40,
*ormen Bates
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for a little over six years and on days like Valentines, anniversaries, Christmas, and birthdays I always try my best to make the occasion special. However, over the last year, I get the feeling that these types of events aren't as important to my girlfriend as they are to me.For Valentine's Day I planned on renting a hotel room, so we could stay the night together. I was going to blindfold her and then open her eyes to a room filed with candles and rose peddles. I wanted the entire night to be a surprise for her, so over the last few days I've been looking for a perfect room.Fast-forward to today and I find out the weekend of Valentine’s Day, she's made plans with her friends before we ever discussed doing anything as a couple for the weekend. And when I mentioned it, her response was very unenthusiastic, almost like a "Yeah", "Sure", "Whatever" type of attitude.Now after hearing this, it’s starting to make me feel like why in the hell should I spend my hard earned money on some extravagant experience when being with me on that weekend is like an after thought to her. Sometimes I feel like she always finds away to make me the last stop on her priority list.I'm not mad at her, but at the same time I feel like maybe V-Day isn't worth me going out of my way if she's not even making me a priority.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): even though you may not think its important but believe me .. id say she will be expecting something .. my mom does it all the time with my dad .. she says she doesnt want anything .. and he falls for it and gets her nothing and she complains .. id just give your girlfriend some floweres and chocolate!!
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (8 February 2011):
Off Topic: When you abbreviate Valentine's Day as "V-Day," you are actually saying Veteran's Day. Something to note, but anyways...On Topic: That does sound tough. Overall there just needs to be some communication on this topic. Sit her down and ask her what she thinks of Valentine's Day, or any special occasion for that matter. Maybe she doesn't see the importance of them or has a particular reason that they shouldn't be more special than any other day of the year.She also could secretly really enjoy the things you do for her, but hasn't expressed it. This can be hard as well since it seems like she doesn't notice when you do things for her, but when you stop doing them she gives you hell for it ("How come we never go out anymore? How come you don't buy me flowers anymore?" etc. Trust me, it happens)But, you'll never know until you ask her. Take some time to talk with her about it and get some of this off your chest. If she hears how much it means to you, maybe she'll take more notice to it. Or maybe you'll both decide that its not necessary to celebrate mass occasions. Either way, don't angry during the conversation and keep a cool tone. Let her know you just want her opinion on it and that its not an interrogation. Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, Ldu  +, writes (8 February 2011):
Yea if she's not into it or atleast trys to put a decent effort in thebn just cancel the hotel reservation and be like " you can continue with your plans" or something its not fair to you.
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