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I hate my ex for what he did to me. How do I behave when I see him?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 January 2012)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and my ex split bc of trust issues. We were on-again off-again status for about 4 months after our relationship ended. Every time that we split was because he wasn't sure what he felt for me. He kept saying "I don't know" and I was always stuck in the middle between loving him and forgetting him. After the 4th time of him telling me "I don't know exactly what I want" I told him " I'm not gonna wait for you anymore. I'm tired of being stuck in the middle. I want to love you but you won't let me." And with the last "I love you" he said to me....I told him to have a good life and I walked away. I was sure that I wasn't gonna let myself go back to him because every single time that I tried to love him he just let me down. He said he loved me and he said that he didn't want to bc every single time that he loved me he would hurt me. 2 days later when I saw him in school...I found out that he was going out with the girl he cheated on me with and left me for. I blew up in his face calling him a hypocrite bc he was always the first one to talk behind her back...he would always bash about her and he would say just how much he didn't like her. And what got me even more mad was because she was one of my friends. And she had the nerve to tell me that he never loved me. She didn't know anything about him and i.... I wanted to rip his head out because, how could he? Just leave me and all of a sudden love her? I swallowed my pride every single time that she was around. I would smile and pretend I didn't know. I swallowed my pride bc I loved him and that pissed me off. For the first time I did...and it made me disappointed in myself. I let myself be weak for him....I let myself fall in love and I didn't want to. I'm not like that! He choose her over me before and I was going to make sure I wasn't gonna stay quiet about it anymore. He hates me now because I finally snapped. He tells everyone that he was drunk when he asked me out...yeah, apparently he's been drunk for about 10 months. Pathetic, isn't it? I'm totally over him but I have to deal with seeing his face every single day...and I don't know how to handle it...should I ignore him? Be distant? Be indifferent? Be mean? How should I be towards him?

View related questions: cheated on me, drunk, my ex, swallow

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A female reader, pixie13 United Kingdom +, writes (15 January 2012):

I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper is a book for anyone having difficulty coming to terms with their partner’s past relationships - brilliant read! Available on Amazon or most bookstores - Kindle or paperback!

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A female reader, AngelofLove United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2007):

AngelofLove agony auntIgnore him as he does not deserve his existence to be acknowledged, because he is smaller than an insect?

Do not waist your time worrying about this insect, what he says or thinks.

Don't worry, your so called friend will get the same treatment as he will do the same to her.

Concentrate on living your life, fresh start and find someone new.

Lots of hugs

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hmm...its true...thanks.

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A female reader, Lilly223 United States +, writes (8 January 2007):

Lilly223 agony auntWhat you should do is be a bigger person and simply ignore him. Because the two of you broke up, that makes him in the past. Go out, find someone new that isn't an immature jerk, and get on with your life. People that play games like he did eventually get burned in the end. It's normal and perfectly okay for you to be mad and hurt, I don't blame you, but yelling at him, and causing a scene doesn't display well on you. You will think higher of yourself if you handle this situation like a woman. Eventually you will be able to look back on this as "Yeah, that guy sure was a jerk.... I'm never doing THAT again!" SO learn from this, and move on.

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