A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it wrong of me to be continuing a casual relationship with a guy who is in an open relationship with another girl, and the girl is beginning to be unhappy about it? It's nothing serious between us (though it is ongoing, around once or twice a week, and has been for nearly 2 months now... ) - we just enjoy each others company and have great sex, but I wouldn't want to be in a serious relationship with him and I think he feels the same, we're too different in our long term goals and values. I do however very much enjoy being with him 'for the moment'.His girlfriend knows about me and at first was OK about it as she pursues other casual relationships also but he has recently told me that she's been getting annoyed about how often (and how long) we have been seeing each other, and maybe wants to be monogamous with him now - however he doesn't.Part of me feels it's not my problem as it is their situation to sort out and he is being honest with both of us about what he wants, so there is no deception involved - however the other part of me feels it is unfair for me to continue this relationship with him when she is not happy about it and it is potentially hurting her. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2013): If you don't want anything out of this 'relationship', then yes it is wrong to continue, if it is hurting someone else.
In my opinion open relationships are wrong, its being greedy, and not having to make a choice.
you also refer to the other girl as his girlfriend, so really their relationship is slighty more important. You are letting him use you for sex.
And I think you already know, but you have posted on here asking a question you already know the answer too, plus I think you have more feelings for this guy than you care to admit too, otherwise if it was so casual, you would of ended it already.
This man is using you and the girlfriend, and he deserve neither of you. I mean, who is to know if there is a third girl in this crazy scenario.
I hope you are having protected sex, and staying safe?!
Finish it now, before it causes more trouble....he isn't worth it.
A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (29 September 2013):
 You're right - it's not your problem, and she has made use of the openness of the relationship in the past so it's a bit hypocritical of her to complain now. Can you continue things as they are? Yes, if you want to, i.e. if the drama from her is worth it. If she knows about it, dislikes it and stays with him anyway she's enabling the very behavior that she now doesn't like, and the issue is still between the two of them - not him and you or her and you.
But if this guy really doesn't mean that much to you it's probably kinder to leave the two of them alone to sort their situation out. Not that you being out of the picture is any guarantee they'll be able to fix things. Right now your sex partner is having his cake and eating it too and he may come to resent his GF if she screws that up for him. Not many relationships benefit from involving additional parties and it sounds like theirs is well on its way to being another casualty of that not-so-great idea.
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