New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

He doesn't know about our future together. Is it worth staying with him?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 October 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 October 2013)
A female Canada age 30-35, *mandanash writes:

My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year and a half. We get along great, we havn't really had a fight as we seem to be able to take conflict and talk it out, we enjoy spending time together and doing things together and we respect eachother. My only problems are that he hasn't told me loves me and he almost always puts his job ahead of me. I have also asked him if he sees us being together in a year, and he said he didn't know, as he didn't know where he would be in his life, or if he would move away to accommodate his job. I appreciate his honesty, but is this a relationship worth keeping? I believe he has commitment issues from being engaged almost 9 years ago. Are these things I should put up with in this relationship?

View related questions: engaged

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, GentleGiant Canada +, writes (2 October 2013):

Its plain and simple, any man that does not know about a future with you is not worth keeping. He likes the milk but now does not want the cow now. Sorry for the bad cliche. You just tell him you do not know about a future with him anymore and tell him to move on. If he cannot commit to you, say good-bye. He will probably just dump you anyways when he is finished with you. Get out of this one sided relationship. What the hell here? Good-luck.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (1 October 2013):

Denise32 agony auntI have to agree with the anonymous poster that your situation doesn't sound too promising.

You could, for instance, give it another three months and see if there's any progress:

+

-+---**-+*` i.e., if he ventures any ideas for what he wants(or does not want/isn't sure) in terms of a future with you.

At that point, if you can be content in continuing with him the way things are, then fine. If not, it would be best to break up with him.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, like I see it United States +, writes (1 October 2013):

like I see it agony auntUnless he was engaged as a teenager, I'm guessing he's somewhat older than you? Definitely old enough to have at least an idea of what he's looking for in life and in a partner.

Maybe it is just fear of commitment, but 9 years is a long time to get over whatever scare he had with the commitment 9 years ago. I hate to say it, but when he says "I don't know," there's a good chance what he's really saying is "I don't think I want to settle down with you, but I also know if I tell you that, I'm probably going to lose out on the sex and companionship I'm currently enjoying."

Either way, he doesn't sound ready (or like he'll be ready in the near future) to give you the commitment you're looking for. Whether he's worth waiting around on or not is a call only you can make. Good luck and best wishes :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013):

I was in this situation in January. We are no longer together. I think the best thing u could do is leave. If it's meant to be it'll all work out, my ex kept saying he didn't know, then one day he did and I was told to go. It's heart breaking. Save urself the pain... x

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "He doesn't know about our future together. Is it worth staying with him?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312421999988146!