A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Had a bit of a barney with my wife (of 5 months) last night. She said that she had a conversation with a male collegue about his business selling Sex Toys - I thought this was innapropriate and got the proverbial hump. Anway, thats not so much the issue. The problem is that when I was clearly upset, annoyed, hurt whatever you want to call it she completely ignored me. No contact at all the following day and acted like nothing had happened when we got in from work...WHAT???She said that she new I was in a mood, shrugged her shoulders and said "so it wasn't worth contacting you...what did you want me to do, run to youo asking what was wrong...?"Errm yes that exactly what I wanted as thats exactly whaty I would do...we spent the night back to back again last night with only the most brief and formal of conversation this morning. I~ am ten years older than her and being called a Dinosaur didn't help (she was implying that my reaction to her little chat about sex toys wasn't down with the kids....well I am really sorry about that!!!).Does she care???BB...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2013): If you wanted to talk about the incident and how it made you feel then why didn't you bring it up to her? My mother in law does the pouty cold shoulder thing too, expecting us to respond by giving her attention. It is very annoying. We now just ignore her. If she has a problem with us she is free to come to us and talk to us. If she acts like she doesn't want us to be around then we will just go by her outward signals I think you need to brush up on your communication skills. Be more direct.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (21 March 2013):
 "Errm yes that exactly what I wanted as thats exactly whaty I would do...we spent the night back to back again last night with only the most brief and formal of conversation this morning"This just made me chuckle. So you got pissy, distant and silent in hopes that she would come to you and console your fragile emotional state. These kins of dramatics really only provoke two reactions: anger and annoyance. Your actions and reactions were not productive or even adult-like.My husband does this too from time to time and trust me, he doesn't get any sympathy, or understanding for his over-reactions and poorly-handled responses. My advise to you is to be an adult and use words to get your point across. Don't expect your girlfriend to run to you and show sympathy when you're pouting silently in the corner.....because that's hilariously naive of you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 March 2013):
 I'm with SVC 100%
If she hadn't told you and you found out it would have been wrong and inappropriate, but she was SHARING something that happened in her day.
Was it that he was male or the sex toy topic? Or both?
Anyhow, I think you are overreacting. But.. I didn't hear the conversation.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 March 2013):
 Ummm… yeah what they said.
Look she was talking about his business. Heck I’m older than you and even I get that you can talk to members of the opposite sex about things of a sexual nature (adult toys) and not be hitting on them. SHE TOLD YOU about the conversation…clearly the conversation amused her enough to want to share it with you her spouse.
Not so sure what you found inappropriate about her having a conversation with him about his business. Maybe she wants to buy you a fleshlight for your six month anniversary.. who knows. YOU OVER REACTED BADLY!
So I’m assuming you were pissy and annoyed and sulky. I ignore my husband when he’s being a dick too. Why reward bad behavior? I’m not going to call him and cajole him and stroke his fragile ego… NOT MY JOB.
IN fact, YOU owe her an apology for over reacting IMO.
So you wanted her to mommy you and baby you and come begging to you asking “what’s wrong, why are you mad at me?” She knew why you were pissy.
Does she care? I’m sure she not only cares but she loves you… at 5 months you are still being trained… is she your first wife?
My husband is 13 years younger than I am and never married before me… training a new husband to behave properly is hard work…
Apologize to her for being a jerk (bring her some flowers it will do wonders) and CHILL dude.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 March 2013):
 I agree with k_c. Your reaction to her discussion of this "other" man's business was a bit much.... (Would you have have felt equally miffed if she'd discussed his business of selling ice cream from a vending truck?)..
NOW, it's time for you to "man up" and acknowledge to her that you probably were "over the top" in your reaction to what she told you..... and decide - then and there - that you and she will put the matter behind you, and resume life from that point....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (20 March 2013):
 Well I can see it from her point of view to be honest - you completely over-reacted and created an issue out of nothing, so why should she pander to your every little need and run around after you trying to make it up to you when she did nothing wrong?
You told her you were hurt, she was aware of this but because she was completely innocent in all of this she chose not to react to your childish ways and wait for you to get over it. I would have done something similar to be honest - when my boyfriend decided to act like a baby and throw his toys out of the pram I dont run to him asking what's wrong, I already know what is wrong, I know he is being stupid and I'm not going to react to it. If I did react to it, he would learn that throwing a strop gets a reaction out of me and he would do it again, expecting the same results.
This is called conditioning - I dont want to respond to negative behaviour from my boyfriend because he will learn that he can behave badly and get attention from me. Instead I ignore the bad behaviour, so he realises that is not the answer to solving problems and he wont throw a hissy fit again.
I can only assume your girlfriend has (sensibly) done the same thing, she knew you were upset but you were upset over nothing, so rather than allowing you to have your tantrum she chose to ignore it so you can learn that you cant behave like a child over little things like this.
Look - she was talking about his BUSINESS - they were not chatting about which sex toy they are planning on using on each other! Just because his business involves sex toys does not mean she is planning on cheating on you and they are going to be involved in some sort of sordid affair in his warehouse surrounded by all the sex toys you could ever dream of.
If I were you I'd apologise to her for over-reacting about the sex toys, just explain that the nature of his business makes you a bit uncomfortable, especially her talking about it to another man. Then just say you'd like to put this all behind you and move on, and forget about it all.
Of course she cares, she is your wife and wouldnt have married you if she didnt care. But what she wont care for is her husband over-reacting at the slightest thing.
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (20 March 2013):
 I think you are totally over reacting here, a conversation, is she not allowed to talk to people?? I'm not suprised she's been ignoring your childish sulk
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