A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The guy I am seeing is really great and patient because I have only ever had sex with one other guy so I am still a bit new to all of this. My best friend was so shocked because he has gone down on me and I haven't on him. She made it sound like a big problem but I've always been nervous to give him head. I feel as though I would have no clue what I'm doing and just make a fool of myself. Is not giving him head a really bad thing? Any advice on how to not make myself look like an idiot?
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male
reader, Hennessy1989  +, writes (18 February 2013):
 There's nothing to be nervous about, there is no such thing as a bad blowjob ;)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 February 2013):
 folks that give oral sex just to get it are doing it for the wrong reason.
you give something to someone you love because you want to not because of what it gets you in return....
my hubby won't/can't do oral but i give him all the time.
if you want to give your bf oral (and only if you WANT to never do what you don't want to do no matter what, when it comes to sex) and you do not know how, you say to him...
"honey I want to learn to give you a bj can you tell me how you like it?" because the truth is while there are some things that do not change... every man likes it a bit differently....
and asking him to teach you will be fun.... have a sense of humor about it.. be relaxed and know it will be a mess
the other night my hubby went in to lick a nipple.. I moved my hand at the same time and accidentally punched him in the eye... end of romance for the night but we didn't' get mad or embarrassed... we laughed about it... sex is fun! don't put so much pressure on yourself...
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A
male
reader, Silius Sodimus  +, writes (18 February 2013):
Nope not a bad thing, if you are curious and he is too but just never had the nerve to try it, just take it really really slow. One point to make, ANY kind of oral stimulation on a guy makes him feel good, unless you start biting or chewing on it he is going to enjoy it. I like to keep it simple. Just start really slow when your both in the mood, like kissing, biting and licking around his groin then slowly move to his penis, from there I can assure you any stimulation (apart from using your teeth) will be enjoyable and trust me your bf is not going to judge you while you do it, he'll be out with the fairies enjoying what your doing to him. From there you can ask him "do you like it" "does it turn you on" e.t.c e.t.c and adapt according to his response...which will most likely be YES!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 February 2013):
Yes it's a bad thing (not too bad) but you can fix it by reciprocating.
BTW its not rocket science. 99 percent of guys are thrilled just by the very idea that it's happening, especially at your age. Just do what you imagine feels good and, if you are comfortable, ask him what feels good. If you too can talk about what each other likes you'll be able to satisfy one another.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (18 February 2013):
 This guy is a wuss. He should demand reciprocation n u shouldnt be scared to give. Try it. Practice.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (18 February 2013):
 Men might love oral but you do need to feel happy doing it. He will love it if you do but shouldn't dump you if you don't. Most men appreciate it can be a bit of a chore for some women.
Don't do it till your ready. And if you don't like it, save it for Christmas and birthdays lol
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A
male
reader, fzald +, writes (18 February 2013):
First of all, there's nothing wrong with you not giving him oral sex if you're both OK with the way things are. If he's OK with going down on you and not getting anything back,at least for now, then don't worry. People will say it's "not fair" that you're not reciprocating, but honestly each couple has to figure out what the expectations they have on each other are. I personally (yeah, it shocks people) am not a huge fan of BJ's, but I *love* going down on my GF...Anyway, if your only barrier is being nervous about technique... don't worry. Everyone has to learn somehow. The best way to do that of course is with an understanding, patient person who you love, and it sounds like you've got that. So just be honest with him, tell him you're nervous about it and ask for (And listen!) to his guidance on how he likes it done. He may himself not even fully know what he likes so you may end up experimenting together!A lot of people talk about how "this girl's great at giving blowjobs" or whatever... but honestly, everyone's different and everyone responds to sex acts differently. What makes one man explode with passion might make another man feel like he's being tickled! That's why in any relationship and particularly with sex you need to just communicate and be willing to learn with each other what each of you likes. Best of luck!F
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts +, writes (18 February 2013):
 Well he seems like a pretty understanding guy so if you're open to giving him oral, then I'm sure he'd appreciate your efforts no matter what ;) Maybe while you guys are in the frisky mood, you might ask him seductively if you can take a little lick. Then progress to putting your mouth around him. Just be careful to sheath your teeth with your lips :P And don't suck to hard. I used to be under the impression that guys liked all that pressure but I found out that it just hurts :P If he gives you advice, don't take it badly! Everyone has a learning curve to begin with, so it's totally understandable if you don't know exactly what you're doing at first!
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (18 February 2013):
 pretty sure everyone feels like an idiot to begin with, and they feel worse than they are at it. First ask him to show you how he likes to touch himself, and how he likes to be licked, and then ask for a sheet over your head and try that. Wean yourself off the sheet, usually the sexiest part for men is watching, and i think even not knowing what you're doing can be hot for guys in a 'i'm making the good girl bad' kind of way.
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