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Have I got enough best friends and is it normal ?

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Question - (28 February 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 11 April 2007)
A male United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

I have to ask if the type of friendship I have is ideal.

I have 5 best friends who I would go on holiday with. Apart from one of them who is a girl. After that, I have several friends who I'm good friends with and would go to their parties, but not close enough to meet up with weekly like the 5 I mentioned above. Is this normal as I know 1 or 2 people who have about 10 - 20 best friends and a lot more good friends so I just wanted to know if that was a more normal frienship.

View related questions: best friend, on holiday

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A female reader, peppersalt United Kingdom +, writes (11 April 2007):

I don't think it's possible to have 10-20 BEST friends, people who u feel like you connect with on a huge level and would do anything for to make sure they're ok, where both of u are there for each other night and day.

I know of so many people who just don't have that connection with anybody, let alone loads of people! If you find one person like that in your life I think you're lucky. I have found three, and I appreciate and love them more than any other people in the world.

Chill out about numbers n just concentrate on friendships you already have.

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A female reader, keely-h United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2007):

keely-h agony auntwell i have two realy good best friends we are in a group of four the other girl is mean and horribe we dont like her you should be happy with what you have the question is would you want 20 friends who are mean and bitchy or 5 realy good best friends i no what i would rather have

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A female reader, Farris United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2007):

Farris agony auntI have one best friend; my amazing boyfriend. He & I share everything, have great fun together, and really care for one another.

Aside from this, I have two more friends that I would call "close", although I barely speak to either of them anymore. As we've grown up and got on with our lives, we've kinda separated a bit, but I know that when I call them or if they called me, we'd talk as if it was only yesterday we last spoke.

Anybody else that I know are simply acquaintances to me. You're lucky to feel that close to 5 people! Congrats!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007):

I have 4 best friends who i think i can divide my time amongst, any more would be too many. You don't want to spread yourself too thinly.

Everyone is different but i think your situation sounds good. Make the most of it.

Take care

xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007):

Wow, 10 - 20 best friends!

That sounds like quite a lot to me, I don't think I'd have enough hours in the day to be best friends to 20 people.

Like dragonette rightly pointed out though, everyone is different. Some people prefer closer friendships, whereas others have more casual friendships / acquaintances.

A good and true saying I think is "You can never have too many friends". There have been times in my life where some kind of drama has gone down in a friendship and it's always worked out well when we get through it and remain friends. In fact, that is what makes a good long term friendship :) ...

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A female reader, dragonette Sweden +, writes (28 February 2007):

dragonette agony auntEverybody's different. Some people have big social networks and less intensive connections and other prefer to have a few very good friends that they can share everything with. And I doubt that a person who has 20 "best friends" can forge a strong bond with all of them.

I've always felt that when you have too many people to split your time between, then the quality of relationship decreases. That's why I have 5 best friends whom I meet with on a weekly basis and another couple of friends (10 or so) that I hang out with when I feel like it.

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