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Could a straight guy fall in love with a gay guy ?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 March 2007) 75 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2012)
A male Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Is it possible for a straight guy to fall in love with a gay guy I,m 41, he,s 25 I,m gay he,s straight

we get along really well buy he,s very anti-gay

I think he suspects that I,m gay but doesn,t seem to bother him Should I let him make the first move or let things go as they are?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012):

ritchiedotson's answer is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. It is entirely possible for a straight man to begin to see his gay friend/co-worker/whatever in a different light. A lot of times this gay friend/co-worker/etc. may be his ONLY male attraction. There are many different reasons that this may happen, and the straight man may get angry and blame you for his feelings towards you (I've had this happen before), but it IS entirely possible, and it DOES happen.

People like Henrylee46 completely AMAZE me. I can't understand how someone can reply to a question like this who has ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what they're talking about!!! Several answers in this blog are TOTALLY incorrect.

I had a Mexican-American man named Roberto fall for me, and to my knowledge, he's never had the feelings he had for me for any other man. However, he couldn't be with me because of the "machismo". And his extreme concern for what other people think about him, obviously due to a severely low self-esteem. I finally had to let go, say goodbye for the last time, let my heart break, then go on with my life. My point is, this is a macho, masculine, Mexican-American man who has never felt love for another man in his entire life. But he did for me. And I know that it's because I was truly his friend, I showed him that I loved him, and I was always there for him. I don't think that he had ever had that before from anyone. So see, it can happen for various reasons. And it has NOTHING to do with being "bisexual" or "gay". The falling in love part has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with sex. That's a completely seperate department altogether.

Some of these people need to really learn what they're talking about before they just start typing a bunch of gobbledy gook and posting it on a blog.

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A male reader, ritchiedotson United States +, writes (8 June 2011):

Could a straight man like a gay man? This question has many anwsers.

The straight guy, may be unsure of his sexuality. If he has a friend who ,he knows, is gay/bi. He could start seeing him in a different light.. This happens. If the straight guy acts on his curriosity. He may just like the sex. He may like the gay guy and have a relationship with him. The "straight" guy may start liking other guys. Or this gay guy will be his only male attraction.

But The straight guy mentioned by the OP seems like he may take offence to this.

If my head wasnt pounding, I would write on my straight man drama.

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A male reader, Henrylee46 Thailand +, writes (4 June 2011):

no straights guy do not fall in love with a gay. they just treat you like his buddy. he just do not want to hurt your feeling so he would just get along with you.

guys mind is preoccupied with many things. he might give in physically to you but it is just for the sake that you will have your libido but for him might be just simple sex without love, purely libido. so that he can have a good friend or get something emotionally help or financial help from you.

a real guy will make you feeling like a real woman but inside their mind he still look for the opposite sex. his level of friendship with you might be misconstrued by you and call it love. but for him is just a mere male to male friendship.

real guy wont hurt gays feelings. real guy are gentlemen because they are so secure with their gender and feelings. in fact real guy can easily act out gays gesture because they are secure of their gender.

closeted gay guy are difficult to do gay-acting because they are afraid to get discovered their real feelings. do not expect real men will fall for you but instead he will just to respectful for your gender issues.

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A male reader, jd7x7 United Kingdom +, writes (25 December 2010):

you don't actually say whether the guy knows you are gay. if not then step 1 is to tell him. step 2 is to take heart from research that shows that homophobic men tend to have strong homosexual urges but are in denial. real heterosexuals aren't that bothered.

However:

1. if you make a move on him he is likely to get angry

2. even if he makes the move he is likely to get depressed and guilt-ridden after the act

3. it's possible that he might be very happy to jump into bed with you if you were his own age or younger. a lot of young guys fancy older guys but a hell of a lot more don't.

4. if he got really mad he could dump an assault charge on you

personally i would stay friends and join an older/younger dating site

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010):

Hi! I'm Chuvaness from Philippines. Usually gays here in my country are like a taboo in any ways and means of living. That's why we have a lot of problems when it comes to descrimination of gender and gays sometimes suffer gender sensitivity becuase of those things.

Anyway I'm also a gay, but in my case I didn't feel discrimation with my family because they already accept me for who am I as a gay. And usually people in my community didn't put me to be ashmed.

I also hate guys ever since because they are the one that makes my gay frieds fight and got into trouble. Honestly speaking only 4 guys that I love and that is my fathe, mu brother and GOD. People says that I have a strong personality outside and inside that sometimes guys are realy afraid to make friends with me. YEAH! it doesn't mean that my face is to scary its just like I'm to strong for them to look. Although I'm thin.

Then one day in my school one of male classmates approach me and talked to me. Because he has a bad day and problems with his girlfriend. At that time I saw a guy who cried on front of me and asked for guidance and symphaty. I don't know at 1st why he cry and why he shares to me those confidential things. I just look at him and I was pitty with him at that time. In my mind I didn't feel his feelings and I loved to laughed but I'll try to stop it.

Then the next day a approach me and talked to me. I don't know her and she just say "excuse me are you chuvaness?" and I say "YES" "Why?". She shout at me and it seems she's really angry she used bad words and everything that can make mefeel unhappy and shoucked. At that time I asked my classmate who is also a friend of my male classmate and he explained to me why the girl I meet was angry with me and why my male classmate go with me and cry.

He explained that he already end his relationship with that girl because he felt in love with me. During breaktime he always follow me and asked my friends if I already eat my lunch or what is my favorites. That was the time that I felt matured on my prception towards guys.

Now I'm happy to tell you that we are now in our 6 years relationships and till ging strong and happy.

I will tell you that straight guys really feel in love als with gays.Until now he is a straight guy. He has a work in a Customer Care Service and I'm a teacher. He already met me to his mother (his father aleady died).

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010):

It's always possible to fall in love with a person. In a lot of these posts I'm reading every seems to think "they'll come out eventually" or "convincing him be's bi" etc. etc.

By nature everyone is technically bisexual. Is it possible for a gay man to fall for a woman? You never know. You could meet a woman that just grabs you in every way and you get enjoy sex with them because of the love you have for them.

A straight guy isn't much different.

There is a difference between sexuality and love/emotions.

A friend of 15+ years had one lesbian relationship in high school. When it ended it almost killed her, but she wasn't a lesbian. She just met that one girl that she connected with on so many levels. She's never looked at another woman again, is married with kids and happy. The idea of sex with a girl is not even enticing for her, but with that one girl it was because of the feelings. And sex feels good for all so if you can have an emotional bond great.

To the original person asking the question though... are you kidding me? Anti-gay and not showing you anything and you actually are asking this question? Don't get me started on how stupid is it to date someone that much younger than you in the first place. (THAT NEVER WORKS). Don't make any move. If you had an emotional relationship with him maybe, but you obviously dont...u have a lust after a little boy that hasn't show u any sign of interest. Put your pecker back in your pants. Not happening.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010):

There are some interesting stories here and I can sympathise. I'm 16 male and I too love a straight guy. But before I talk to you I want to talk to you about my EX who is straight. In yr 9 I had my first relationship, first love with a guy in my year. It was kinda unexpected tho, but his twin was guy and at one of our group sleepovers he just kinda spooned me and then we kissed and all. First relationship I had and it has bee n te best so far. He's had many girlfriends and ive been his only guy but we were so deeply in love. Anyway, after anmonth of going out I did the stupidest thing ever, I dumped him. I wasn't ready to be gay yet (still very young) and he seemed ok with it. But then for almost a year he still loved me so much, like a lot. But eventually he got over me and I regret it every day now cos he's straight and I still love him. I know I'm an idiot rite! But I asked him a few weeks ago if he wanted to try again and said he didnt want to jepordise the friendship.. Anyway our friendship HAS suffered becos of it, and that seems to be the biggest fear here. If u really like a guy regardless their sex or gender you got to take steps. Depending on how great u are like this guy of mine who is perfect to me, it doesn't matter if they say no they will understand. Sometimes risks are important and just remember a rejection is NOT the end of your life. Right now there's a str8 guy I like and I think there's chance. I mean he has a gf sure and it probably won't work but I'm observing the signs and im just gonna wait until the time seems right. All it takes is some patience and correct interpretation. Nobody is straight anyway so straight guys won't fall in love with gays, but each guy might be willing to have a shot and even if it's just as friends do love. Love is a broad thing and can be spread over a number of categories, but it's important that the love you have between you and your best friend that you love (or whoever it is), it's important your love is on a level that's best for both of you, and not to be too selfish like I was with my ex. You know the right decision, it's the courage you need to either stay quiet or tell him how you feel!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010):

When i was 30 i was happily married with two kids, and enjoyed a straight life, i enjoy sport and keep fit, i had always preferred girls sexually even had a brief affair with a female at work when i was 25.

It changed when i went to a conference in New York and met up with a friend from college. He was the real jock from college fit real attractive and fancied by all the girls at school. We got on really well and i felt at ease with him, and after a heavy drinks session on the 3rd day he ended up confessing he was gay. I was shocked , but as if a switch had gone on, I had these feelings for him

Its now 6 years later, I'm divorced and we now live together and I never regret a minute.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010):

I want to add my story hoping that someone will help me I'm 16 and in love with a str8 guy named marley he is so cute and I love him so much we had classes together last year and I fell in love when I first saw him and he was going out with a girl and I was so sad and we don't have any class together this year but I will try to change some of my classes to be with him but I'm afraid that he will reject me and that will hurt a lot I need so much help so if anyone can help plz help me at [email address blocked] plz help I need all the help I can get I have some ideas but I need others to help me and who better that people that have the same problem

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010):

I want to add my story hoping that someone will help me I'm 16 and in love with a str8 guy named marley he is so cute and I love him so much we had classes together last year and I fell in love when I first saw him and he was going out with a girl and I was so sad and we don't have any class together this year but I will try to change some of my classes to be with him but I'm afraid that he will reject me and that will hurt a lot I need so much help so if anyone can help plz help me at [email address blocked] plz help I need all the help I can get I have some ideas but I need others to help me and who better that people that have the same problem

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010):

Well I've read most of the posts in this thread and I have to say it's really such an emotional roller coaster. I can relate to a lot that's been said in this thread since I've experienced it. I'll preface this by saying that right now I have a boyfriend who I love very much and we've been together for almost a year.

Like many of you it took me a while to figure out that I was bi. I had girlfriends and stuff in high school, but I guess i always sort of just knew that I liked guys. I'm really masculine, and only 2 people I've ever known have figured out that I'm bi without me telling them. So it started during Junior year of high school when I was about 17. I started to fall in love with my best friend at the time who's sexuality I legitimately was not sure about.

So my best friend and I were constantly together. We had class together, played the same sport, hung out every day after school, and even worked at the same job. I spent so much time with him for 2 years which led me to fall in love with him. We would wrestle a lot and cuddle on the couch when hanging out. He'd never had a girlfriend or talked about girls so i figured I'd take a shot.

So I told him about my feelings for him and that I was bi all at once. This news was not accepted well. He has been very homophobic and uncomfortable with me since that day. I tried just about everything I could to salvage the friendship because I loved him so much, but to no avail. I was absolutely heartbroken and devastated. Now 3 years later I still see him and talk to him occasionally, but he is no longer my best friend and things are never going to be the same as they were.

I learned a lot from that experience. Falling in love with straight (or supposedly straight guys) really sucks. It's a heartache that you eventually learn to live with. For me at least, it happens over and over again. I met another guy who was really there for me during that difficult time, and three years later is my best friend. We've spent (and still do spend) tons of time together doing anything. Sometimes if we're watching tv or a movie i'll lean into him on the couch, and he lets me. It's so comforting.

The thing is that I fell in love with him as well. It wasn't something that happened to replace feelings I had for my former best friend. The feelings really only started to surface 2 years after that initial incident.

My current best friend is straight and has had a girlfriend for almost a year now as well. I love him so much (more than I can ever express to him). I told him that I would not ever let any emotions I had toward him (if they developed) get in the way of our friendship, and I intend to stay true to my word. It's really difficult sometimes, but I really like having him as a friend. To tell him and risk losing him is not worth it - I learned from my mistake the first time around. I suppose I'll always love him, and whatever makes him happy will make me happy and I'll leave it at that.

So that's my story. I just thought I'd share my experiences and let you guys know you should really be careful and protect your heart. I had a major depressive episode after being rejected, and I have since finished treatment and feel like a new person again.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010):

Well i somewhat believe this can happen. Im 18 and away at college now but heres the story before i left. It all started my senior year when I just fell for this boy who will be called "bob".Bob was straight i know this because I have been friends with since he was a freshman. Up until this past year i just completely confessed my love for him, i told him everything. As a matter of fact i did it the night before I left for school. Not only that I kissed him. and boy did i kiss him. I have been in school for about 5 months now, and out of no where i get this message from facebook from him saying that he misses me and he doesnt know what to do. So it came to a time were i got to go home for the weekend. A weekend i would never forget. He came over , and we just sat outside with some friends and drank some pop. Well it came time to go to bed, and there was a enough room for people to sleep, but bob said he would sleep in my room. It came down to us cuddling in my bed and he actually kissed me this time. The only thing that bothers me is the fact that he still talks about girls. Do I think that bob will come out to me at one point? yes.... Will i still be in love with him as much as i was? I dunno... But im a firm believer

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010):

I'm a gay male, 25, New York City.

I say it is definitely possible for a straight man to fall in love with a gay man. A straight man I met about 6 months ago likes me quite a bit. He is very masculine and has never been with a man before. It came as a shock to me one night when we were drinking and then ended up going home together. It was a beautiful experience for both. I ho. I think we are in love.

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A male reader, Jack B Canada +, writes (14 October 2010):

Hi there,

I am a str8 married guy who definitely feels that a str8 (or bi curious guy) can fall in love with a gay man. I certainly feel that way as I have had some connections with gay men and have enjoyed my sexual experiences with them very much. Most recently I have had a connection with a gay guy around 15 years younger than me & we have chatted a lot and we both know that there is a very strong connection between us. I am very attracted to him but yet to have any sexual activity with him. But we are lanning on getting together very soon to make that happen. It is a very exciting thing for me but scary as well as I am not sure where this will take me. I am being very open minded as to where this goes, so we will see.Love and me coming out may be a possibility Who knows????....

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A male reader, Jack B Canada +, writes (14 October 2010):

Hi there,

I am a str8 married guy who definitely feels that a str8 (or bi curious guy) can fall in love with a gay man. I certainly feel that way as I have had some connections with gay men and have enjoyed my sexual experiences with them very much. Most recently I have had a connection with a gay guy around 15 years younger than me & we have chatted a lot and we both know that there is a very strong connection between us. I am very attracted to him but yet to have any sexual activity with him. But we are lanning on getting together very soon to make that happen. It is a very exciting thing for me but scary as well as I am not sure where this will take me. I am being very open minded as to where this goes, so we will see.Love and me coming out may be a possibility Who knows????....

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A male reader, silvershadow1971 Canada +, writes (6 September 2010):

in my case i have made many moves, i blow him, kiss and suck on his pecs feel his ass finger him, but he has no emotions for giving back to me what kind of a relationship is that we shower together and he washes my back but nothing else...will he ever make love to me....i kind of dought it....Dave, burlington, ont.

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A male reader, spartanius United Arab Emirates +, writes (4 September 2010):

Hey guys ...

i have read so many of ur stories and i have my unfinished own story .

and i would appreciate any help u can provide .

the story starts at the company accomodation building .

there i went to see my boss to deliver some documents , had that done and went to take the elevator , when the door opened a big nice muscled cute guy in swim shorts only all went came out , i couldnt take my eyes off , and my mouth was wide open :P .

for sure he did saw the way i looked him .

and that happend a month and a half ago .

since then i start to ask my boss things about him , so i come to know that he trains in the gym .

so i told my boss to ask him if he can train me .

but my boss kept forgetting , until one day i got call from my boss saying that the gym guy wants to talk to me , and then we set an appointment , in the appointment we sat on a round table and i sat facing him , then he wanted to draw something for me on a paper to make me understand more the idea , so he said : " come closer to me i wont bite u , im str8 " :S here i had to smile , but in my mind i was cursing and think if i could take this moment and reply that im not str8 .

but i kept quiet .

after that while we were talking i reminded him when i saw him in the elevator and he like directly replied : " Yeah yeah i remember you " and smiled .

here i said inside my head like oh my wow he did remember me thats nice , that means there was something so i got stuck in his mind , or am i wrong ?

then i had to go for strength test , and that was two days after we had the meeting .

there he kept telling me that i can tell him anything i can trust him and that he is open minded and he can take anything .

i guess that he knows that im gay or maybe that i have a crush on him , and its okay with him .

but all this is in my mind i dont want to be miss understanding him , and reach a point that we no longer can be friends .

plus he always tells me that im the 1rst client that he really want to be close friends and hang out together when ever i fell like .

so i decided to invite him out , i sent him invitation message and he relied that he is working till 10PM and he will be tired , so he invited me to the building swimming pool and he said he will be with his friend .

i accepted the invitation .

went there and there was 4 guys his friends , and they were all talking all the time about sex and women , and me quiet cuz what they are talking about i got no experiance so i was only smiling , and when he look to me i feel a deep strange feeling in his look , its not like normal look it looks like he keeps his eyes in my eyes until i cant look to his eyes anymore and try to look somewhere else , after when everybody left , he told me so when was the last time u had a girlfriend ? i made a sign with my head , and he said long time ago ? i said yeah .

then he asked me when was the last time u got laid ? i maid the same head sign , and he said also long time ago ?

i said yes , he said well how long ? 3 month ? i said more he said 6 month ? i said yeah arround that .

then he said oh man i had sex 4 days ago and i still feel like i wanna have more .

then he told me so u use ur hands a lot , i smiled saying well yeah those are my best friends that i can trust :P .

and he smiled .

and then we took a cab together , the cab dropped him home and we said bye and see next time , and i went home .

i then sent him text message saying , thanks for the invitation man , i had a great time .

then he replied saying : anytime ur welcome dude! we dont do much - just chill - lunch - movies ect ect but better than sitting home doin nothin !

Like i said don't be shy - if u bored and wanna hang out txt me if im free or u can be invited i can come !

that was exactly what he replied .

after i sent him : Thanks I appreciate that a lot man , will sure txt u ;) .

now tomorrow i will have my first class at gym with him .

so what u think i should be doing ?

do i tell him that i dont have GF cuz im gay ?

do i keep quiet ?

do i tell him that i have a huge crush on him ?

PS : i might loose my job anytime and might leave to my country , so what u think i can do ?

any help is welcome please do not keep the info away from me .

and thank u in advance for ur help ;)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010):

I'm gay and i'm in love with my teacher(male), we are really good friends but he doesnt know that i'm gay or i'm in love with him but he always like flurt with me and he care about me so much is that mean that he likes me or that its just a friendship. i really love him so much and care about him ...

please help me what should i do???

i dont want to ruin our friendship

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A male reader, ranggakusuma  +, writes (10 August 2010):

Well, I'm 17 and he's 16. We first met when we were in Junior High school.

I have crush at him and I have feeling. We were a best friends, we spent all the time together.

I thought he knew that I'm gay. But he doesn't really care, cause he thought no matter who I am, you're still my best friends.

One time, he can't went back to home cause the main way to his home is flooded. So he hadn't no choice.

He decided to stay at my home for one night. I worried If I can't keep my attitude.

At the night, about 10 PM. He went to fall asleep. And I was happy but I'm afraid, I knew something inside myself said "took this chance, the second chance will never come"

So I began to undercover him, and turn off all the light. He didn't noticed. I tried to next level.

I touch his hair, then touch his ass. He still asleep. Then I lay next to me(at back) then hug him. tried to stayed close. I hug him, then finally I suck hiss cock. I almost caught, when he did a move. But it doesn't long.

Well Next morning when he woke up, he saw me sleeping naked next to him. But he didn't angry. He just move out the bed then sat on the sofa. Then when I woke up. I told the truth.

After it he didn't angry at all. But he said ' if you're gay don't be embarrassed to yourself, I further appreciate if you consider who you are, However we are best friends. But I don't like if you took a chance when I didn't know. If you want sex told me, if I can, I'll do it for you although I'll get hurt and cry"

I was happy when I heard that, then we both hugh. And kiss.

Then he went back to his home.

So I think straight guy could be in love with gay guy? It depend how you live your own live, tell the truth and be yourself

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010):

Yes, a straight guy could possibly love a gay guy... I'm in a 2 year relationship with one... It always starts with a good friendly relationship... as a gay guy, you shouldn't over exaggerate your actions and emotions because deny it or not you're still not a girl... just be yourself - respectable, loving, and dignified... Straight men tend to develop a strong bond with gay men who treat them with respect and concern... never put your best foot forward just to make an impression... best suggestion is to be sincere and honest to start it right...the love making stage comes naturally in time... you must never force him to do it with you or expect him to like it as much as you do... The level of love they could offer can go beyond friendship but not as much as what you truly expect (unless hes also gay), so don't act like a wife material but as a best friend... My boyfriend would always tell me it's impossible for one not to care for someone they've been with for a long time... when I'm sick or problematic, he worries and comforts me... he gives encouraging words when I'm down and a pat on the shoulder when i do something great... straight men are not too vocal about what they feel but they offer (sacrifice even) a lot of time to show you how important you are... A piece of advice though: one thing that I've noticed with my boyfriend is that he would always ask me to use tweezers than just simply shave, would want me to always smell good and look fresh... Looking good even if he sees me as a guy is one big factor... that i believe is the closest thing to a girl he could get from me... It's alright for him to be seen with me out in the open... he doesn't care if people think he's gay because he's secured with his sexuality... and people look at us as two good looking, happy couple and wish either one of us was their boyfriend...

To sum it up - good attitude + sincere friendship + great personality + decent looks + straight guy = good love for a gay guy... hope this helps...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010):

Well here's my story... I think I'm in love with a guy I met in college, he's so handsome, at first i didn't see him in that way because he's all about women, he's always talking about them and he had a beautiful girlfriend... so I labeled him as "straight", I think he knows I'm gay I haven't told him, but I'm sure he suspects it. So, one day we were at a bar and we were pretty drunk, and we started fooling around, I don't mean kisses but we were so close and not in a man-to-man kind of way more like in a romantic way, then something interrupted us, but I'm sure that a special bond was created that night... Since then we have been more close but just like friends, however from time to time there are those signals that make me think like when he drives me home he always tell me how much he appreciates me (as a friend), and he always wants to do homework or college projects with me at his house, and last week he invited me to the movies (wich is very weird in my country, by the way I live in Ecuador, a very conservative country) of course I said yes, and we'll be going this sunday... but is weird, I mean is just me and him,, no more friends and I don't know what to think? Is he feeling something for me? or Is he just a good friend? I know this probably will sound so cliché but I don't wanna ruin our friendship... I really love him.. please help me...

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A male reader, Jeff8 Italy +, writes (7 July 2010):

If he only suspects you're gay that means either you are more or less in the closet yourself or he only knows a small part of who you really are. Either way there is so little  honesty here that I dont see much hope for a really satisfying situation to insue. If he does come on to you he may well let you blow him or give him a hand job once but then what? For you it's the start of a beautiful love story but for him it's something he'd sooner forget. Lots of fundamentally gay men who keep their sexual preferrncrs lowkey find themselves, especially when they are younger, coerced into having sex with a woman. First time might be ok but its that second time that's a killer. Like you just dont want to go there...that is exactly what he will be feeling with you. Unless of course he kind of likes the way you suck him off in the dark or even fuck him (we men are pretty well all sex pigs), then what? You can look forward to a lifetime of waiting for Mr ' I'm not gay I just like the way you suck me off' to pop over for his monthly ten minute fix. Is that really what you want? 

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010):

--Well, I'm afraid we all have points in common. What I see as a difference is the fact that I don't wanna be friends. I want a "Bad Romance". The straight guy I love is actually confused and in denial, He also asked me Not-to Like-Him. Sorry, but I stick to my principles and honesty with myself. For to love is NOT a crime, thus I will love him as long as it takes, I don't care whether it pleases him or not. My feelings are deep, strong, intense and lasting. No one can steal from me what I have got inside. If this straight guy wants me to have a walk, be sure, I'll go the extra mile away and never turning back. I'm the one who loves, suffers and won't walk away in silence, after all.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010):

This thread is really interesting.

So I decided to share my experience with you guys too...

A year ago I started sharing a dormitory room with this straight guy who happened to european. By the way Im asian. At first I didn't like him because I am not really into european guys and he is not really handsome. but i noticed that he has the best butt that i've ever seen... :-)

After a month he decided to shift to an apartment because it was more affordable. Then that started it all...

I started missing him. So I started inviting him to have dinner or have a cup of coffee. He has a girlfriend and he would always tell me that he wants to be married to her one day.

3 months later, his apartment mates moved out so one room was vacant and he offered it to me. So I moved in. I like cooking so I would always cook for the both of us... breakfast, lunch and dinner... Until one day I told him I was gay but he was not really surprised and he said he's totally cool with that. So I thought that he is not interested in me and that he just wanted friendship, perhaps.

Then he decided that he'll go back to his country to work on a family enterprise. 2 weeks before his departure I told him that I had to leave earlier than him because it was very painful for me seeing him leave and because I have learned to love him so much, it was better for me to just let him leave without saying goodbye. Then the unexpected happened.

I was just looking at him with my tears falling down my cheeks and he hugged me. He asked me what sort of happy memory I would have loved to keep about him and I said "none". But he started kissing me and remove his shirt. I was speechless and so shocked... We made love like i never did before... he did things I have dreamdt of... It was such a memorable night.

But guys, i still believe that a straight man can never love you as you expect them to be. Its just different.lSo dont expect too much...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010):

Hey Guys,

It seems to be a growing trend that isn't spoken about too much... I honestly think a lot of the guys are simply confused, It's awesome to hear all these stories =]

here's mine =] (followed by my theory lol) -

I'm 24, he's 26 I met him some time ago at work. We started hanging out a lot - he knew I was gay and he was exceptionally cool with it and after a couple D&M's he told me that he saw me as a girl which is why he treated me the way he did... He'd ask to take me out for coffee, to bars, shopping or the movies (and would always insist on paying) he'd also be very protective of me and chivalrous *les sigh*, he'd open doors, always wanted me to choose where to eat, if we were watching a movie together he'd pull me in close and hold me - all that mushy jazz - I figured he had to be interested in something more but for months there were no actual advances and I loved every moment of it!

A few months into things, we went on a road trip - just the two of us... That's when I couldn't hold myself back, I snuggled into him a lot more than usual whilst watching a movie and a little while later he went in for the kiss! it felt like the most natural progression into a r'ship I've ever experienced. I asked no questions about how he felt about me up to this point (which was so hard!) it made the moment that much more amazing =]

We dated for several months, but his interest in sex was pretty low to begin with and just dwindled so we called it off... We're still good friends though and nothing seems to be different at all... (it's confusing for me, but we're both happy). We spend as much time together as a couple would and he's just as affectionate towards me as he was when we were together - even in public. He's definitely just a straight man who's fallen for a gay one...

My theory behind it - He's only ever had very blokey male friends, and he's not so good with the ladies (he doesn't understand them and they don't really understand him lol). So here I've come, this guy who he can talk to like you would a girl (no holding back about anything i.e. feelings and all the serious life stuff) but we get along and can muck around on that level only guys can - he doesn't have to worry about me like he would a girl because I can understand him like a mate and if he does things wrong I don't take it to heart and usually laugh it off.

We go out and drink like guys and he doesn't need to worry about taking care of me. He can just as easily put on the punching gloves as he can the cotton ones (... he sometimes -always- thinks its good fun to wrestle with and tickle me till I start to scream and bite).

I wish I could find an article on what goes on in the head of guys like him... I've asked, but he's a dopey c*nt... talking about his thoughts isn't one of his strengths. I have a strong feeling that as time goes by 'bromances' like ours are going to become a lot more widespread...

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A male reader, knives United States +, writes (19 June 2010):

20-years-old. Met my friend at work. We used to hang out everyday, but the friendship fell apart when he blatently disrespected me. I've been madly in love with him since the day I gave him the application to the job. We were drinking one night and he tells me he used to like guys in highschool. He said he still has a little bit of it in him. We've been on trips together, but one was when we went upstate. He has be drinking...like usualthe drunkest I've ever seen him, and before I get out of the bathroom, he shouts that hell be pissed off if he comes to and he's making out with me. Was this a tease? I've never felt this way about any other guy I've met. Curious, but never willing to try anything. He. Has my heart and won't let go. Everything I've done for the past year has been for him. I've been ruined. I know the right answer is to "talk about your feelings with him" and "tell him how great of an impact he's made in your life", but sometimes, that just doesn't help if you arently willing to open up. Any other options?

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A male reader, jenesaisquoi United States +, writes (28 April 2010):

please tell him what you feel. life is way too short to be guessing what someone else feels. good luck!

i also need help....here's my story.

well i've known this guy named johnny for 3 years now. at first i pretty much ignored him and wasn't interested cause i thought he was straight. then during my junior year in high school i transferred to the school he went to. everytime i would see him i would just smile and keep on going.....cause i forgot who he was, plus he's mexican and he has two names, one of which i didn't know. haha. anyways while in computers he was gonna do his project on gay rights, but then decided to do football. guess it was too risky. he's masculine, but very shy and reserved. and there's just something about him that separates him from his friends. i began to think he was gay after i saw him checking out guys. i asked a friend about that and she said it's perfectly normal, that straight guys do it to see their competition. i dunno. but i'd hope it wasn't just that. also some friends have told me that because he's mexican he could be embarrassed to say he's gay because of the machismo. and we never did hang out or anything while he was here in az. and then outta the blue he and his family moved out to colorado. every night i dream about him, and i dream of being his man, his protector, yet i dunno if he'd even want that.

if i could get any advice on what to do please message me. :/

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010):

Well i felt i had to come back and give an update to my post from 13/01/10. It's quite a substantial update and therefore is not completely random. What I failed to mention last time, or rather who, is another person that I confided my troubles in, a girl who had promised to me that she would not tell a living soul about my problem.

She broke that promise.

And it wasn't just a close friend of hers she told, oh no! She went straight to HIM, the one that i am still so deeply in love with, just before christmas it turns out! Finally, probably less than an hour ago from writing this, he told me he knew. He explained to me that he was fine with it and that he still loved me as if I were his brother; but that he is straight. In fact the conversation that came next was probably the most two-sided conversation that I've ever managed to get out of him.

Another thing is that he has a girlfriend now, who oddly for reasons still fairly unknown to even myself, I set him up with. Maybe it was the fact that deep down inside, I knew he didn't love me back but I still wanted him to be happy. However, he told his girlfriend he knew i was bi and she in turn told her best friend, who in turn tried to confirm it with me, claiming that she couldn't remember who had told her, but HE has now told me how it got to her. HE had made his girlfriend promise that she wouldnt tell anyone and for breaking that promise he said that he would immediately break it off with her, but again, for no apparent reason, I prevented him from doing so and now they have apologised to each other and I am sure that they are stronger than ever. HE has told me that he still wants me as his best friend and he still wants to come over to my house this week for one of our movie nights.

I am furious at that person for telling HIM but there is nothing I can do to undo that. In a way I am glad that he knows now however, and also I am grateful for the fact that I didn't have to be the one to tell him.

There's now only one problem, I think that he recons by making it clear to me that he doesn't like me in THAT way, I will slowly stop loving him. That may have also been true if it weren't for the fact he's being so understanding about it. Now I only love him more. But I won't get closer to him. But then again, I shall never stop loving him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010):

I think you should make the first move and see what happens and if he does not react don't panic just let him have some time to think over and if he does nothing i guess you can make another move

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A male reader, tubularbells Viet Nam +, writes (4 April 2010):

tubularbells agony auntI am in the same predicament. I am a gay 66 year old man from Canada but live in Vietnam. I am in love with a straight 23 year old and he has a girlfriend. I told him I was gay and he was surprised but said I am still his friend. every time we meet we hug and sometimes for a few minutes. He kissed me on the cheek one day and i kissed him back. (on the cheek) I visit his house in the country many times and he visits my home as well. he sometimes sleeps over but nothing happens (yet) I keep hoping but i will wait until he makes the first move. We also have a language barrier but with the help of google translate we manage to understand each other. I love him very much.

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A male reader, Prince91 United States +, writes (15 February 2010):

My situation is pretty much the same. I'm currently in college right now, but in High school is when I first met my best friend. Since the beginning of High school we've been very close friends, hanged out on the weekends at each others house, went out to eat together and even went shopping together. However, he has a girlfriend, but everytime he gets into an argument with her, he always comes to me and asks me for help and find me as a person to vent with. He even told me that he comes to me because I'm his friend, and that I can calm him down. Also, everytime we're together he always finds ways to fool with me, most of the time he always wants to wrestle with me. The funny thing is that most of the time he just lays on top of me and doesn't get up when I tell him to. There were some moments where he said, "I love you, your like a little brother to me." He said that atleast 3 times since we've been friends. Before we left to college, he asked me if I was going to miss him. He even admitted that he was going to miss me, and that it was going to be different not seeing me everyday at school and after school. I forgot to also mention, there were many nights where he slept over at my house, in my room, same bed. We were both 18 yrs old at the time, what grown and straight man would do that with another man? Being that he's 6'4 and about 200 lbs, and I'm only about 5'1 150 there's a big difference. He also has anger problems, and he consistenly promises that he'll never hurt me, and that he'll always protect me if anybody messes with me. This boy drives me nuts because I can't tell if he's likes me or not, I really really want to tell him that I like him, but I just don't want him to hate me and never talk to me. More importantly, I don't want him to tell everyone that I'm gay, especially my family. However, I'm not gay I'm bi, either way I haven't come out yet. For years I've been living in a state of confusion, my feelings for him lingers, and almost everynight I go to sleep thinking about him and how much I miss him holding me, I just feel so protected and secured. Most importantly, I feel that our journey is ending, and that he won't remember me once he marries his current girlfriend. I need help people!!!! Please!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010):

Wow, i think you need to start to look to meet people who are openly gay and comofrotable with being gay or bisexual. Why date someone who is closeted, confused etc. Its not worth the drama. A guy is a guy is a guy at the end of the day no matter how hot or how cool. Go find someone who has enough balls to be gay !

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010):

i'm a married man and I love my wife very much and we have a good sex life. I am a father to 2 boys and am very masculine around them as I don't want them to be like me. I know I am bi but it really hurts me that I am, because I don't want to be!! Life is tough because I'm in love with my straight best friend. I keep thinking that he might feel the same about me but I can't be sure and am frightened to let him know as I am fightened he will never talk to me again. Last week we were at my house with our wives and while my arm was on the back of the sofa, out of sight of the girls I felt him stroking my arm. I could have exploded there and then!! he did not move but I'm not sure he meant it as we had been drinking. He did the same last night and now I don't know what to do. he's the last person I think of before I close my eyes at night and I hate myself for feeling like this. We are going on a stag weekend soon and will be sharing a room, do I tell him how I feel? I would appreciate some advice or stories of similar experiencing. Why is life such a bitch!!?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010):

no chance sucks right?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010):

HI Im just gunna share my experience..Im a bi-curios,from Philippines.I'm 19 y.o. I'm going out with a 16 y.o straight guy from london for almost 3 months and planning to live together after college. I met him on facebook 4 months ago. I was searching for michael's name on facebook(dont know really why) and i found him and add him up. We became friends and chat for a month. then i felt something weird bout him. 1 day i told him bout my feelings for him coz i cant hide it anymore and he was like "oh..." then I asked him if its okay with him and he said he's not bothered..after a couple of week he told me that he felt somethin for me and i was really happy dont know why.lol well we talked bout it and we decided to make a step. Its not easy for him coz its his first time to fall in love with a guy.We had our up side down and i guess our relationship is getting stronger.I love him SO MUCH and its the first time i have ever been this in love with someone. And dont want it to end. we have future plans and im coming over in london to see him this year.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010):

ask him how he feels about gay people and let it on from there

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010):

I've come to know and confirmed my orientation when I went to High School. I fell in love with my best friend (that time) and he wasn't aware of my orientation. He's straight, absolutely. As we were young and stupid at that time, we experimented on each other (you know what I mean). He wasn't aware that I was falling for him. The day before I went to college, he said that he found it repulsive that we even did it. I just told him that it's part of growing up and we could move on with our separate lives.

When I was in college, I fell in love with my roommate. We slept next to each other (no sex involved though). I thought he also had feelings for me. The night I said I was in love with him, his response was "that's unhealthy, impractical, and impossible."

I've had so many heartaches.

Ten years later, my high school buddy who bluntly rejected me came to me. He's married (divorced) with a son. He said that he's in love with me ever since, but he was just in denial. We made love and kissed for so long. He gave me a ring. But I'm not anymore in love with him... I have moved on.

I now have a best friend who constantly hangs out with me. He's homophobic. I am confused. I also badly need help just like most of you in this discussion forum. He accidentally read a text message sent to me by another friend teasing the two of us since we hang out a lot. He told me that I should not encourage this teasing.

I'm really in love with him, and I know that he knows. Why does he tolerate me -- he puts lotion on my hands, helps me to wear my turtleneck, and exchanges intimate facebook messages with me. He says that I'm his best friend and that he values my friendship. He is extremely good-looking and changes girlfriends at an average of once every two months.

Why do I fall for straight guys? HELP!!! I don't want the scenario that my current best friend will realize that he loves me after 10 years. It's easy to say that I should wait, but who knows where and who I will be with after 10 years. I'm really in love with my best friend and the reason I'm writing this is I'm depressed and I can't concentrate at work. I'm not getting any younger and I am ready to settle down with someone who will love me back unconditionally.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010):

hey friend life is really short. tell him whats on your mind. leave rest to him. but pl. pl. and pl. control your emotions as rejection will definately hurt you. if possible be a little selfish. dont fall in love.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010):

my guy is straight and he tells me he loves me. and you know what? i believe him so screw all u who think a straight guy cant fall 4 a gay one. love is colorful and has so many faces. it isn't bound by something as mundane as sex. gawd! open your minds people!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010):

i have a similar problem,im friends with this guy who im not sure about whether hes gay or straight.ive been friends with him for over a year but we lost contact for a little over 6 months and he txt me out the blue and asked how was i, and what had i been doing (i droped out of yr 10) so since then i have fallen for him,but the weired thing is everytime i txt him and i ask about his personal life or if he wants to do something on the weekend he never txts back,and the next day acts like nothing happend.

i havnt seen him in a ages only talk to him over phone so ive fallen in love with someone that i cant see.im not sure if hes had a girlfriend or if hes even kissed a girl so heres hoping should i ask him who he likes?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010):

Well i'm just gonna take the plunge and add my story. I'm a 16 year old guy from the UK. For the past 3 yrs or so I've been questioning my sexuality not being able to decide between a confused hetero, bi or gay. More recently my main sexual preference has been other guys but I think its just hormones and I'm actually bi. Then about one month ago my mind felt like it was exploding, so I told my best buddy that I thought I was gay or bi. He was completely surprised but I don't think that it's affected my friendship with him. I am glad that I told him. I feel that no one has any idea about me and that's why he was shocked. Another reason I told him is that I believed he was gay as he seems very effeminate, but I would have thought he would have told me after me telling him I might be gay, but nothing at all.

Anyhow back to the topic I recently fell out with another good friend of mine and you could say that another guy stepped right in as my new best mate. I think it's safe to say that he would also consider me his closest friend as he has just fallen out with his! Complicated! But suddenly I started to have a crush on him. Over christmas I saw him often, we sleepover at eachothers houses and watch lots of films.

Where the problem lies is the same with everyone else. What I believed to be a crush has turned into what I think is my first love! If I were given to spend my life with him I would, but as you probably guessed there's something in the way... the fact that I think he's straight.

He seems to be a typical straight teenage guy. He loves exercise and has lots of fitness equipment crammed into his room along with a drum kit. He also is really into rock music where as I prefer hip-hop or pop!

The other day it seems he showed interest in a girl we were discussing by text so I asked him and he said yes. I was immediately overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness, however the conversation continued and he said that he thought she wouldn't fancy him back As he is quite short so I replied that that wouldn't be a problem because compared to me he looked like an angel (in my opinion he does). Fear rushed through me thinking that he would suspect something, however he just replied "thanks, that means a lot to me". Feeling bold i said how he was my mate and that I would always be there for him, to which he said "cheers". So from that we have become even closer friends.

At one point yesterday I was thinking so much about it that I sort of wrote a poem! For some mad reason I decided to post it on my social networking page! Then today he asks who I was writing about and I said that I wasnt up for telling anyone yet! He didnt push it further. Later on the conversation we were mucking around and he jokingly through a playful insult at me (not misread definately mucking around) so I wrote back: "Thanks (sarcastic). Luv u 2!" to which he replied (not sure if it was a joke): "it wasnt me u were talkin about in that poem was it?" ( my heart froze) "coz the love isnt returned!". Not knowing what way to turn i just wrote back "haha", not wanting to lie to him. That topic got changed and we carried on talking about other stuff, me, crying inside.

And so that is my story so far. He won't stop asking me tomorrow at school now, who it is that I love, and I just wish that I could tell him that it's him but I'm sure that I won't. I may eventually come back and update you all but for now... I will have to see how it all plays out. I'm too scared to ask him how he feels about me as I fear revealing my feelings for him would break what has become a such a strong friendship.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010):

I am in a "friendship" with a straight man and I am a gay man. I have been in love with him for 6 years now and he is in love with me. We do everything together. We are best friends. We have not hit any sexual homeruns but his wife would not be with him if she new everything either. He is an ex-NHL player which probably has something to do with it. They are brought up in a very homosocial environment. Everyone jokes that we are a married couple ourselves and his wife is not very fond no me. We could not be closer if we tried. We love each other very much. He has all straight friends; so do I. There is a very different dynamic between him and I and any of our other friends. We went through a very difficult time for about a year because he didn't know what to do with his feelings for me. They scared him and he took it out on me. He was pretty cruel. We toughed it out and now it's wonderful. I have no desire to sleep with any other men. I get all I need from our closeness. I have never known anything like it. It's not 'normal' but it doesn't have to be. It's very private. All of our hugs and kissing and what-have-you goes on behind closed doors. We both feel that we were meant to be together. He does not fantasize about other men and identifies as straight. I do not want to be with other men anymore but I am definitely gay. It's a wonderful thing to be this close to a man. Good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010):

okay i am adding to my previous post...

i was/ am ---A reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008) so if you want you can look that up ... and this is sorta an update

Well its over a year now.. and you wont believe how close we have become. he just turned 21 and for his birthday i massaged his feet for the first time for about 3 hours.. which after he leaves to go fuck a girl and then comes back and i massaged his feet for another hour or so.. he only recently started to let me touch him like that. nothing sexual mind you.. its like massaging his back, neck, or feet. He knows i love him. and i would lie to you if i didnt wish that he went gay for me. but then another part of me doesnt want him to change for me becuase then he wouldnt be himself. He has a son still married but separated. Now getting to the problem that made me start searching this again.. I was over at his moms house last night and was way to drunk. he had a girl over there I sorta blacked out and dont remember what went down. but he told me today that i physically tried to grab him and ended up crying and was just all out way out of control. Now i have to wonder if i didnt damage what we have has friends. And even though i know this relationship is extremely unhealthy to me its the first time i have ever been this in love with someone. And dont want it to end.. but then i dont want to hurt him in the process either. you know that old saying love them enough to let them go. well i wish it were that simple. two days ago if i would have found this forum again i would tell you that i believe that a str8 guy can fall in love with a gay guy. But that love is more of a non sexual nature. The only thing i could try to compare it to is the marriage that has lasted so long that sex isnt there anymore but you can see how much they adore each other. But now i dont know . now i am wondering if i need to distance myself from him becuase of my actions. Hey if anyone wants to talk to me about this please email me at [email address blocked] i would love to hear anyones thoughts on this or just be able to talk to someone about it.. right now my heart hurts every time i think about the damage that i might have done last night.. i dont want to talk to him about it cause he will just say i am acting like a girl again .. or some shit like that.. anyways laters people.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

In short, you're screwed. If he's actually anti-gay then you really don't have much hope. And unless he really likes older men (which most straight guys don't) he probably won't go for someone who is 15 years older than him. So, you really only have two options: Rape him in an alley (not recommended...) or just give him your feelings and expect the worst. If you choose the second one, the worst thing that could happen is that he could reject you and go away, thereby sparing you from agonizing over him anyway.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010):

I've been in love with my roommate for almost 6 years. He's straight and I'm gay. It is the most frustrating experience ever. Imagine if a straight guy lived with a sexy hot lesbian? No way will she have sex with him. And he'll be frustrated too. I truly sympathize with all who are going through this. My guy really wants it but I'm too afraid to see if that's true. Now I'm going out of my mind. I want him so bad that it gas ruined my life. I want to almost die because I can't gave him. I want him to move out but he won't . And yet I want him to stay because I depend on this fantasy of love and sex. I'm miserable, depressed. I'm handsome have a great body lots of guys are attracted to me but this straight hunky masculine stud lives with me. Now I figure if I'm a bitch he'll move out but after being so generous with food etc., I feel used. I'm so sad andvery lonely.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010):

I fell in love with my friend the second I saw him,I didn't know him, he came to me and said hi. he was nice to me and would stare at me when we were at church,we talked a lot, as time passed he started saying I love you after every txt conversation.but one day I saw him make out with a girl he had just met at church and I cried and broke down, that night I called him and he new something was wrong and I told him I was bi and loved him.he apologized, we still talked but he didn't say I love you as much as he used to, but one day he asked me if I would ever give him a BJ and I said yeah and asked him if he wanted me to and said no. I asked him if we could kiss, he said yeah and when I saw him again he didn't want to :( I always tell myself that somewhere inside he's bi but idk people tell me to get over him but its hard...I still love him..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010):

No it is not possible for a straight guy to fall in love with a gay guy because if that "straight guy" which you call it falls in love with a gay guy then what's the purpose of him being called a straight guy? Get this clear - Straight likes opposite. Bisexuals like both. Gay/Lesbians like same sex. That is all there is to it so if it happens that there is a guy who falls in love with a gay guy, that makes him gay. No questions asked. That's just the way it is.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009):

Hi Im in a similar situation as you. My straight guy will not bother to analyse the whole situation as long as everything is nice. You shouldnt force him to do anything. it will make him think about his sexuality. and if that happened he would probably leave you. You know in this kind of relationship we (gay) are meant to be passive, we should always be looser. It will take years of pain and drama for you to hear from him ''i love you'' thats a big sacrifice and the result is uncertain. wish you all the best Darius

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009):

The entry on Dec 19 is one of the sweetest things... I hope that guy is gay for your sake, it sounds like you really like him :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009):

Well I'm in a similar situation. I met this guy about three weeks ago at work and we clicked right away. I'm 23 and he's 21. At first I thought he was gay because he's a bit effeminate ( just a bit, not much) but then I found out he's an only brother of five sisters. The dude's straight. He has a girlfriend and talks about her all the time. lol He's very handsome, he has a small body (not super skinny) and a bit of muscle. He's not very tall (about 5'-6") but that's no problem with me. He dresses real nice and always smells good. He has nice dark brown hair that matches his naturally tanned skin which is uncommon for a white boy I think. He has green eyes and if you didn't know better you'd think he was wearing eye liner but he's not, his eyelashes are really dark and make that impression. His skin is clear of pimples or anything nasty; you can tell he takes care of himself. And best of all, he has an awesome personality. He's always cracking jokes and making you laugh. Anyways, I invited him to my house just to watch TV and have some beers; strictly platonic. Honestly, I had no intentions whatsoever on doing anything with him. I mean, I'm not going to lie; I would've LOVED it it something happened, but that wasn't my intentions. Just two guys watching the game and drinking some beer.

I learned lots about him, and noticed we have lots in common. We listen to the same kind of music, love twizzlers (the candy), and share a passion for cocacola. lol

Anyways, he got a bit drunk and decided it was time to leave, but then he said: "i don't think it's safe for me to drive, do you mind if I stay over?" I'm glad that even when he was drunk he was responsible not to drive. I told him it was all good, so I pulled out a sleeping bag from the closet and handed it to him. I stepped out to the bathroom and when I got back to my room, he was using the sleeping bag as a blanket on my bed. Maybe he didn't noticed it wasn't a blanket? I don't know. Anyways I went to bed and fell asleep. I'm always a light sleeper even when I drink, which is weird because I know people who drink and won't wake up until the afternoon next day. So around two-ish in the morning, I felt something. He was caressing me. At first I thought he had just moved and stumbled on to me or something, but next thing I know, he's hand is reaching for "you know what". I was confused because I liked him, but he was drunk. I didn't know if he knew what he was doing or what. I just laid there, my heart beating like a beast but faked being asleep. Obviously, I instantly got an erection but I don't know if he thought I knew or not because guys can get erections at night for no reason. Anyways he touched me a little more and kissed me just a little below of my belly button, not where you think. It was just a kiss but it felt good. After that he removed his hand and went back to sleep. I couldn't sleep for over an hour after that but finally fell asleep. The next morning he was acting a bit strange but I didn't mention anything about what happened the night before. After that he acted normally just like nothing had ever happened.

We still hang out constantly and he's stayed over my place a couple of times, but hasn't made a move like that again. The closest thing he's done is spoon with me while asleep and I know he's asleep. I don't know what to do? Should I make a move? He's been a friend for a while and I don't want anything to happen if I do. Maybe he'll get mad at me and stop hanging out with me. He's still with his girlfriend and he seems happy with her, but I can't help myself. I think about him all the time. This is driving me insane. It would be awesome if we were together but that would mean that I would have to come out and things would be weird at work too. I see him at work all the time and we have lunch together everyday unless his girl takes him away from me. :) I feel bad for her because she seems like a good girl, but I have no control over my feelings for him. He pays for my lunch once in a while and so do I. I've found him staring at me a couple of times and I ask "what?" and he says "nothing" and smiles. Is it possible for a straight guy to fall in love with another guy? AGHHHH this is killing me. We're supposed to go to the mall this afternoon and I can hardly wait.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009):

Believe me, I know what you're going through!!!! I'm a 16 year old boy(In the "Closet" who recently met a guy through family that I apparently used to know as a child. For me it was love at first sight and I can't stop thinking about him. I think he's straight, but I'm not sure. He acts like a complete jerk around his other guy friends, always talking about girls butts and things like that. However, when we are alone, his mood completely changes. He smiles at me and always tries to strike up a conversation, but I freeze up and don't know what to say. Then he looks at me like "Are you going yo answer?" and then I make up and excuse to walk away and hate myself for doing so. I don't know what to do, but if I don't tell him soon, I feel as though I'm going to explode!!!!!

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A male reader, wired091180 Saudi Arabia +, writes (2 July 2009):

yes. i have fallen for my gay friend.... we had a relationship for almost 4 years.. then suddenly he dumped me. don't know why

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A male reader, wired091180 Saudi Arabia +, writes (2 July 2009):

yes. i have fallen for my gay friend.... we had a relationship for almost 4 years.. then suddenly he dumped me. don't know why

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009):

I'm straight and i fell in love with my gay friend. we had a relationship for almost 4 years and then suddenly he dumped me. don't know why....

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A male reader, mikee Philippines +, writes (25 June 2009):

i know that a straight guy will not loves the gay!

because base on my experience, all my relation does n't work because a guy will just love you because of your money not because of who you are, all then just say that they love me my deep inside of them is not true.

like my last boyfriend we been for about 2 months but before our first month anniversary, we hung up with his friend in a bar then i got drunk after that we ride a cab then i know that before i got drunk i already pay the bill in the bar and i know i have still 2k in my wallet he get me home the after that he also go home. when i wake up i count my money i my wallet but it only amounting to 1k i text him and he refuse that he did not get any money to my wallet but he is the only one who send me at home. and aside from that the reason why our relation has ended because every time he ask for a money he always lie. i know that he is not telling the truth.

so sis dont be generous to a person who you did not know yet!

you need first to love our self first before anyone else

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009):

Yes even I, I couldn't answer this weird question.

I'm on the same situation. I'm with a straight guy his 19 and i'm 21. I love him so much and he always answer me back that he loves me too...fortunately we had planned to go in our province in bicol for a live-in and we liked to have a child also but sad to say I couldn't be the one as the biological mother. We have talked for it and I accepted it's okay, and I will going to treat the baby as our real son or daughter and I also really like to have a child esp. when it could be a boy and would have a very similar characteristics from him...until now that is still a plan.

I've been in a many guy-gay relationship, some just left me and I realized, they did it just because of their financial needs. But it really hurts when you already in love with guy!!! I spend too much money in that the same case. And now I don't know if jerome ( my current boyfriend) is just like them. I learned money can't buy love.

Jerome is from a poor familym and yes I keep giving him some of my money, I always think that may be it is the reason why his with me. We are not leaving now in the same place...but we are going out during my free times. But the're still the embarasment in my mind...I don't know if he really love me too. Sometimes i feel it like that beacause he's unique of all the boys I've ever known, even though sometimes his busy but his still different he always kissing me and less Bj's cause i want to make a proof that i like him not just his body (his tall muscular and a little bit chubby).

There are times I thought he's not different from the other guys, with a love which is just a lie and I don't know, maybe i'm just afraid that straight guy would never fall in love in a discreet gay like me. BUt i still belive that is possible. Yes it's possible....maybe they can't love us as it used to be but I'm sure they would love us when they learned how and I think its better than never LOL.

But there is still one thing in my mind...

If there are some straight guys who fall in love with a gay....why is it all commentators here are gays?? Could any straight guy lost here, in this site???? And why is it that only gays having too much problem about guy-gay relationship? If guys really coming into this too....why there is no forum for that?

Hmmmmmm another question....LOL

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008):

Well I am 38 and i am in love with a straight 20 year old. He knows that i am gay and really the type of person he is he eats up the fact that i am into him.. but and that is a BIG BUT he controls the situation. Our relationship is a interesting i call him my heterosexual significant other and when we greet each other we hug. Every once in awhile i ask him if i can grab his ass or kiss him on the cheek. and he trusts me a lot becuase we have played the trust game.. where i put my hand on his leg and ask him if he trusts me while moving my hand ever so slowly closer to his crotch but always stop before i get there becuase i dont want to lose that trust. As far as can a str8 guy fall in love with a gay guy .. i would have to say depends on the type of love you are referring to .. My friend started to do something that i never thought a str8 guy would do. every time we leave eachother or end a phone conversation he says love you to me.. now i am not so gullable to believe that is romantic love as to more a friendship brotherly love. hope this helps

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008):

Here I am adding to the post; because I too am in a similar situation. There is a guy that I have known for nearly 10 years now. He is 29 and I am 35.....the worst thing is his sister is married to my cousin....so it is totally awkward. He knows I am gay.....everyone does. He has joked with me; as most "gay friendly" straight guys will do....but as of the last few weeks something has changed. He knows that I think he is all that; I am not completely blunt to say it directly, but he knows. Anyway; he turned on his webcam, as we chat online a few days a week - he lives over an hour away - and exposed himself to me.... It was totally hot; and took me by surprise. I figured - okay, he must be drunk and will regret this in the morning. Well, the next day he send me a message via email and asked if I slept well after the "show". This peaked my interest even more and of course I said I enjoyed it and thanked him. HE DID IT AGAIN - less than a week later! This time it lasted a lot longer and he was really working himself over for me.

I had not seen him in person since this experience; but knew it was going to happen at one point or another - and prepared for a very awkward experience. I was very shocked to discover that this was not the case. After a gathering of friends for some social drinks; we were the last two remaining. Long story short - we fooled around big time! He wanted to go a lot further; but I was totally not ready for that - I am a top; but in time would bottom for him - that is how taken up with him I am.

Am I foolish? He has two kids and talks about women all the time. I really want him to fall in love with me - but I know I am just fooling myself.....

This probably wont be much help for answering the question; but I wanted to add my experience....

signed - hopeful

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008):

Have fallen for my flatmate. Funnily enough my best friend and everyone that meets him thinks he's gay because of his mannerisms but he insists he isn't and I am the one who sticks up for him to save him embarassment. As Gay as he seems am nearly sure he's straight and not the kind of guy to be in the closet anyway but still have my doubts that he is gay and just doesn't know it Or I'm hoping Bottom line is I'm in love with him! What the do I do?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

I thought I was the only one who this has happened to. I am 42 years old and my straight friend is 31. We are close, see each other every day, and I remember the first time I saw him and he smiled at me, I thought he was gay as well. He was married with two kids, and after I got to know him, he told me that he didn't trust his wife and that he knew a divorce was on the horizon. I totally kept my distance from the conversation of him and his wife, and finally he called me one day to tell me the news that he was filing for a divorce. He has many good male friends but decided to confide in me only. Since then, we see each other every day, and text and email each other as well. Needless to say, I have fallen in love with him, and we have started to do more things together. I have stayed over at his house, and he has stayed at mine after going out on the town. But I have never made a move on him, or him on me. The closest we ever got was when we were looking at pictures of his college days on his couch, drinking beer, and I casually put my arm around his neck, and he pretty much snuggled up next to me as we went through the photos. I didn't dare make any more advances for fear that he might get upset or angry. That is as far as it has gone.

I think the best thing for me is to just try to get over him, leave him alone and distance myself, but I know he will ask why I am doing this. What do you tell someone who asks this?

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A male reader, lotmoney13 United States +, writes (10 October 2008):

Same here everyone.I knew i was gay or bi, but I really never took it to heart.Mainly because i really never had any feelings for anyone until i reached high school. LOL!!!

I saw this one guy in my animation class, and i thought he was completely gorgeous!!! I never said a word to him until..... well long story short..... he let me have his seat in animation. Then we got to talking, and i never figured that he was the sweet type. if anything he was unselfish. so it made it more irresistable to not love him. : so one day i let him taste a cookie i made(i love to cook)then he said "Man if you were a woman i totally marry you" i literally froze in place.i wasnt sure if anything could happen, but he's single and really built, but at the same time a junior, while i'm a freshman. but it dosen't really seem like it matters to him. Until today i love him so much, but i'm scared to lose what we already have, when not more than three weeks ago we had nothing. : i guess i'm just really scared to follow my heart when i'm not even sure what's in his........

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A male reader, natehurley14 United States +, writes (30 June 2008):

natehurley14 agony auntHey trust me i think i know how u feel. Ok im gay and 14, a good friend of mine named dylan is 16 and doesnt really know his sexuality yet. Me him have made out alot and i hav given him bj's. He tells me that he's straight but that im the only one that he has had sexual feelings 4 but he also tells me he doesnt know what he is. It hurts me so much cuz i have really fallen in love with him but i know he doesnt feel as strongly as i do.But if you really think about it its not up 2 u to choose if a person is gay straight or bi. Sadly, u can only accept the fact that he will never have the same feelings as u do

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A male reader, natehurley14 United States +, writes (30 June 2008):

natehurley14 agony auntHey trust me i think i know how u feel. Ok im gay and 14, a good friend of mine is 16 and doesnt really know his sexuality yet. Me him have made out alot and i have given him bj's. He tells me that he's straight but that im the only one that he has had sexual feelings for but he also tells me he doesnt know what he is. It hurts me so much cuz i have really fallen in love with him but i know he doesnt feel as strongly as i do.But if you really think about it its not up to u to choose if a person is gay straight or bi. Sadly, you can only accept the fact that he will never have the same feelings as u do

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008):

I'm in the same situation as most of you. This guy is 18 and I'm 35. I used to ignore him when I was still involved in another relationship, but then one time when we got drunk, we did it. I kissed him and he kissed back. We moved on to another level of relationship - father-son type. He got into a relationship with a girl. I told him it was fine (so stupid of me). That was when things changed. When I wanted to kiss him, he would shrug me off. I asked why he did it before and he told me he was just drunk... and that he can't remember what happened that ONE night. I'm so in love with him now and I'm hoping that things would go back to how it used to be..

I'm asking for advice too, people.

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A male reader, Jes Philippines +, writes (27 May 2008):

Jes agony auntI do have the same situation dude. We were so damn close to each other, so close that he once said, if only your a girl, you will be a perfect mate for me. I told him that, I can't take the risk of losing our friendship for the sake of having him in my bed for a night.

I know he will never love me because of our inevitable incompatibility. That's why I'm still striving to keep my feelings for him for myself because I'm too scared to lose him! So afraid to be alone again!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008):

Wow... i have had the same problem as many of you. I had this one str8 friend and for months we got really close and during that time i fell for him hard. I would see him everyday from morning till night, i would see him more then his girlfriend did, but we grew close and it hurt so much knowing that i liked him more then he liked me, cause i wanted to advance into a relationship, but i knew i couldn't and i never wanted to try anything with him caus ei had fear that if i did and he got angry or anything i would never be able to speak to him, there we times where he would get more open and touchy, but those were only if we were drinking or high. So we stopped talking for like 3 months, not for any reason just cause things die down. And now i speak to him again about once a week and while my feelings i once held for him have died, i still remember how strong i felt for him. I would never let myself get that close to a str8 guy again, it can only bring pain knowing you will never be more then just friend. Like someone else said, i too have only been truely attracted to str8 guys, from my sisters friends, to guys from school, i have never liked a gay or bi guy, and like someone else said, we do always want what we can't have, i guess i'll never get who i want then..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008):

I know the original post is old but still wanted to add my comments.

You are 16yrs older than him. Odds are that he will see you as an older brother or father figure and I do speak from experience.

The age difference means you have little in common, do not think the same, do not have the same goals, etc.

With his age and being straight, why put yourself through the hell of false hope? I have done this exact thing in my past, i have known others in a similar situation and not one of these cases ended with the gay guy getting the str8 guy as a boyfriend/partner.

We always want what we can't have. You need to accept that he is not within your reach and be his friend or break off all contact.

Easier said than done, I know... I always fall for the guys I can't be with. It sucks, life goes on.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008):

I think it can happen but you are asking for drama and trouble. It happened to me. I met this guy since we were little children and reunited with him in high school. He was popular with all the girls. Jock/rocker awesome bod, and he dated a LOT of girls. I'm pretty sure he was 100% straight. Then when he saw me again I could tell he was very very interested. We became friends and he was always around. I started to have feelings for him. Since I was openly gay I didn't really give a shit what he thought about my sexuality. One time we got really drunk and stoned and we kissed. After that. He started to act very strange. He found out I was in love with him. He sort of departed away from me and told everyone what was happening. So our friendship died basically. I was saddened and moved away to another city. I couldn't handle seeing him all the time everywhere. He got married and had a child. Now that I am in my late 20's, after college I went back to the same city and found a note from him telling me that he had fallen in love with me too for all this time. But he couldn't understand it as he has never felt like that for any other man and this and that. All this pretty romance. So I went to him and finally after such a long time (like ten years) we had sex. After that he got really angry as well and was just regretting everything and telling people I was crazy and that I was harassing him, he told everyone I had AIDS and all this other stuff. He just felt so much guilt or I really don't understand. I left the city again and I made my own life with my own things happening. He has his own life and everytime I go back there is always tension and I can see the hate he has on his face. Now he's a total queer hater. He hates gay people and is very religious. He has another daughter now and he is still married. It really hurt me. They say if you play with fire, you will get burned. And yes he did fall in love with me, but because he is straight... so many problems that I can't even write in here happened. To this day I wish I could go back in time and not even try. People are very stubborn to their sexualities nowadays. It's not worth it wasting your life with a straight man. There are plenty of gay guys out there looking for love. Learn to like them... it's the only way you will be happy.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008):

REAL SORRY I COULDN'T ANSWER YOUR QUESTION =(

CUZ I'M CONFUSED TOO

im a sophomore who really really likes a senior. we talk occasionally on myspace and we say hi in school but other than that its not much. AND OF COURSE he's straight. apparently he used to be bi last year but says thats was only last year and he's completely straight. what made him change his mind idk but anyway he has a girlfriend now who i don't like (because she's with him). i don't want him to be with her because i want him to see that being with me could be amazing for both of us. every guy ive ever liked was straight but i feel really strong about this guy and i know he's more than just one of those straight guys. I've tried but it's just physically and mentally impossible for me to let it go.

i mean is it so wrong for me to be happy too. at least once

any advice for me? for whoever's reading it might just help their problem too.

=)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008):

I'm in the same position as you too, I love a much younger guy who is straight. But we are very very close friends and hang out sometimes 3-5 hours everyday. I LOVE HIM SO VERY VERY MUCH and it really hurts that I can never express my love the way I desire. He means the world to me, I know I will never make a move on him, for the fear of losing him is more... Wishing you the very best.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007):

im in love with a str8 guy at the mo

i have full faith that is i love sum1 this much then it is impossible not to receive love in turn from him

however, things arent looking so good with us as lovers so far...

i hope that things turn out for u

and i hope that things turn out for me too! wish me luck

my hopes are with u

xxx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007):

I am also in the same situation..... I tried on him... He only got angry and embarresed.... It will definitely affect your friendship... I wouldnt touch him until he touches me.... So be happy that u atleast have his friendship... and never loose hope... He will love you in the coming days...and he will hug you so damn tight and roll over you... :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007):

that's like asking if a gay guy could fall for a woman....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007):

Seeing as he's straight it doesn't look like anything will happen between you and if you try to make something happen you'll only be rejected. If anything did end up happening between the two of you that would make him bisexual but you said that he is straight so that isn't likely to happen. Seeing as he is anti-gay but is still friends with you that means that he doesn't know that you are gay (which is true seeing as it doesn't look like you have told him), he doesn't suspect it (although you think that he does) and he believes that you won't try anything on him. If you did make a move on him not only will you get rejected but it will affect your friendship. Plus, even if he was gay, he's too young for you. So the best option is just to leave things as they are.

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A female reader, Farris United Kingdom +, writes (4 March 2007):

Farris agony auntI'm sorry honey, I don't know what to tell you.

Sure, you could argue that this man is still young and could still be unsure of his preference, which is true... But if he has outwardly expressed that he is completely straight then you have to respect this.

Of course there is no way that I can tell you what another person feels, but I think the best thing to do right now, is just to stay at being friends. Maybe in the future if things hot up or get more intense between the two of you, then you can question again how he feels... But until then you should just enjoy his company in a platonic way.

I know it's hard, but just look upon yourself as blessed to have such a good friend who can look past their homophobic views and see you as a real person who they like and get along with.

Best wishes.

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