A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a relatively fresh relationship with someone, we have deep feelings for eachother, they want to take it to the bedroom with me and have sex. I myself am emotionally attracted to this person, but i am not attracted sexually. I don't want to end it with someone who has such strong feelings for me just because of sex. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): I was in this situation recently myself , still am ! but ive stopped feeling guilty about it. Ive told my friend that im not ready yet and i have to see if thats something that will grow or not, and i am aware that she may leave out of impatience etc who knows. But this is the first time ive really been in a committed aware relationship and it carries with it all sorts of emotions and feelings that ive never experienced before. My guilt was feeling that i was hurting her by not making love, it would be worse for both of us i feel , if i were to , just for the sake of it.
Im enjoying her compant , getting to know her, and trusting that if this aspect doesnt change well at least we will both leave each other from a place of mutual self repect and love. Goodluck with it x
A
female
reader, Farris  +, writes (27 February 2007):
 Don't be pressured. Tell them that you're just not ready for sex with them yet.
Give it time, and if you REALLY like this person then your physical attraction will grow as you care about them.
And when this happens & you're ready to sleep with them, you'll find yourself making love rather than having sex... And it will be so much more amazing.
If this person doesn't understand and keeps pressuring you, I'm pretty certain that the pressure will push your feelings for them away and you won't want to be with them at all. I hope they understand you though.
Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): I had been in a similar situation where i was emotionally attracted to a girl and it was quite a strong connection. But looking at her, i didn't really feel sexually attracted towards her. I could never talk about this to her and she was trying to pressurize me in to having something with her which i was not ready for. Ultimately, things became messy and i had to be arrogant on her to show my disinterest. It hurt her and i felt guilty as well. It kept me away from engaging with anyone emotionally for quite a few years.
So, in my opinion, make it clear with her as to what she expects from this relationship, and ask the same question to yourself. And as mentioned in other reply, don't get pressurized in to something you are not ready for.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (27 February 2007):
 Let them know that you really like them but jumping into the bedroom at this stage in the relationship makes you feel uncomfortable and it's way too early in the relationship. You should NEVER feel pressured into sleeping with anyone... ever! Tell her to slow down a bit, get to know one another more.
Jumping into bed too soon only complicates things and you certainly don't want to do this just to please her. If she continues to pressure you to sleep with her after you refusing then I advise you to cool things off a little and maybe cut down on the time spent with her. That should get the message across to her.
Eve (I'm assuming this is a female, my apologies if I'm wrong.)
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