A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was told by a good friend that my boyfriend had spent £3,000 on hiring male strippers for my birthday. They said they'd got some evidence about it which was too upsetting to reveal.I found the evidence of it at home: loads of bills for male strippers, internet history all about it: he's working away at the moment, so confronting him about it is impossible.I don't understand why he wants to do this for me: isn't this a form of "mental cheating"? The irony is, he doesn't like female strippers, or lap-dancing, so why did he do this for me??I find male strippers rather corny, and embarrassing to men in general, and as such, ignore them.I don't want this, as it takes away the value from our relationship, and, none of my friends would want this, as they're in relationships too.When he comes back, what is the proper way to deal with this??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): Hi..... Garey here
I always feel its difficult to help when we only get to see the one side but reading between the lines this is the way I see it!
1 he could be struggling with his sexuality or just be Bi as it seems unusual that he doesn't like lap dancers but then there are a lot of guys that don't. Especially when they have a beautiful and caring woman back home which sounds like you???
2 he has just done this to wind you up as he knows you well enough to know that it would?? granted I think it has worked!! and ask yourself how difficult was it to find the receipts?? as he wouldn't need to print anything out from an internet booking would he.....
3 Or he doesnt really want to be with you any more and he doesn't have the Balls to do something about it himself instead he will make you make the step of splitting up so he doesn't feel bad???
but the only way you will know is to master the art of comunication and ask??? and in future rather than getting yourself all worked up next time something goes wrong just talk to him and let him tell you what actually happened
xx The Nail tec
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007): Your bf is gay and is getting the strippers so he can watch them. No wait, he has a fantasy about watching you with another guy. No wait, maybe the truth is I am as uninformed as you are because I don't really know what is going on in his head either. Pick up the phone.
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A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (4 March 2007):
 Be honest. You could either do this directly, by confronting him and telling him that you know what he's done and how you feel about it. Or you could be more delicate about it and try to bring up the topic of strippers in conversation.
It's up to you how you talk to him about it, but I think it's important that you do... Especially if he's spending all that money on something you don't even want!
Good luck.
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