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He's my mate and thats all I see him as, he asked me out the other day what should I say!!?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 April 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i have a mate and i dont want to go out with him but he is like my best mate and i dont want to upset him. he is bisexual and i respect that i dont have a problem with that as he trusts me but he asked me out the other day what should i do????

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you very much you really helped i sed what you suggested and he was upset for a bit then he was fine again so thank for all your help xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007):

Don't go out with him. You don't want to so why should you? You can't be forced to go out with him. So politely tell him that whilst you don't want to be his girlfriend you love having him as a mate. He'll get over his feelings for you when he realises that they aren't reciprocated and then feel that you are just a mate to him. Good luck.

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A female reader, Bailey J United Kingdom +, writes (4 April 2007):

Bailey J agony auntHello, just be honest with your friend. Advise him that you only like him as a friend and your feelings don’t go any further than that. Make him sure that you don’t want this to ruin your friendship and you would like to carry on being good ‘friends’. He should understand this. Take Care x

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A female reader, Farris United Kingdom +, writes (4 April 2007):

Farris agony auntThe obvious thing; Tell him that you don't want to go out with him! In the long run, you'll hurt him more by lying to him about this, so it's best just to be honest.

A friendly relationship is very different from a romantic one, and just because you don't see him in the more intimate one, doesn't mean you care any less about him. You need to explain to him that you just see him as a close friend, and although he may be a little hurt by this after making himself so open to you, he can then move on. There is no reason why the two of you can't stay just friends.

I won't comment on the fact that he's bisexual, because I don't think it actually has much relevance to the situation or problem (unless there's something further you're not telling us?)

Good luck & best wishes.

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