A
male
age
36-40,
*ey
writes:Please, Please, Help me! I'm a 22 year old virgin and I'm about to have sex for the first time. My g/f has has a lot more experience than me. I'm a guy so of course I dont want to come off as incompetent sexually. I also dont want to tell her I'm a virgin. I think you can all understand that one. Anyway...my question is Can she tell if I'm a virgin? When we discuss sex she makes it seem like there's a right and a really Wrong way to do it and I dont want to screw it up on my first time. Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (3 April 2007):
 She won't be able to tell if you're a virgin. As long as you at least vaguely know what you are doing that is. I imagine you've read enough about sex, and maybe seen some porn, that should give you enough information to get the general idea. The main thing is to have enough foreplay first, get that right and the rest is easy.
I'm not sure I completely agree with the others. Well, I do, in that you should be able to trust her enough to tell her. But if you think there is a chance she'll not sleep with you because you are a virgin you might want to wait until after you've had sex a few times. From time to time young men come on here complaining that their girlfriends wouldn't sleep with them after they found out they were virgins. I think being in that situation is worse than holding off on the information a short while. This is a very rare exception to the rule of honesty is the best policy when it comes to relationships.
A
female
reader, Farris  +, writes (3 April 2007):
 I agree with mitch... If you can't trust this girl enough to tell her that you're a virgin, then you shouldn't sleep with her.
Physically, there's no way to tell whether a guy is a virgin or not... But obviously, if you've never had sex, then your first time won't be perfect performance wise. You say she has a lot more experience? It's possible that she'd suss you out!
Good luck & best wishes.
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