A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:should i try to contact her?hi there, was seeing this girl for about 7 months. we were getting on well and i thought happy. we went away for a long-haul holiday and we had loads of fun and romance. 2 days after our return, she txt me to say she needed to chat with me. she then sent another, which said she didn't think we should see each other any more. she came over to mine and repeated the same. she contacted me with the usual txts about can't believe how much she hurt me, am i ok etc. this lasted till about a week ago... i have been out with enough women, but i was her first serious boyfriend, even though she is 28. i am not sure whether to contact her or leave it now. i am absolutely gutted...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): Plain and simple, no contact.
She has your mailing address, phone number, email, house address... that right there is 4 ways of contacting you. Sooner or later thoughts of you will run through her head, and remember if and when that happens, the ball is in your court bro and have fun playing some b-ball.
Sidney Crosby
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): Hi I am going through similar situation.In my case several time I have gone through similar phase with her, every time I have contacted her heard lots of blame from her and then my position became like a slave.
This time I have decided not to contact her, it is very hard for emotional person like me, but I think this is correct then by doing this, I am giving her and to me time to think and I am sure if there is true love she will come back or then I will have to conclude like "whatever happens happens for good reason"
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A
male
reader, hesitant1  +, writes (5 April 2007):
Hi, sorry to hear about your situation. Going through the same here. My advice is to leave her be right now. Get out and do things for you. Go to the gym, go running, pick up where you left off with that hobby, get together with friends...whatever to keep yourself busy. Yeah, thoughts of her fill every waking moment and it'll hurt like hell with no contact. But it is good to step back and view it all from another perspective. Maybe she'll come back...maybe she won't. I know it's not what you want to hear...but don't waste your energy, time and thought process on something you have no control over. You can't "make" someone love you. Without giving you false hope I'll leave you with this: You chase them, they run away. You run away, they chase you. Good luck and all the best.
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A
female
reader, LittleTwoLegs +, writes (30 March 2007):
 I agree with Dagwood on this, in regards to what you should do. But I have something else to contribute.Your romantic get-away sounds like it was a blast, but perhaps for her she began realizing just how close the two of you are getting, and maybe she has a fear of commitment and likes not knowing what lies ahead in her future. It is apparent that she wants attension from the way she's been acting. If you're the one to give it and if it's something you enjoy then by all means go for it. However, if you feel that you'll eventually where out from her wanting to be the center of your life then you might want to back away from her emotionally and see how she can handle herself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2007): Hi, sorry to hear about what has happened. It sounds like the best thing you can do first is find out why she wants to break up with you and see if it is worth you pursuing her.
Whilst some people associate love and commitment with good and secure feelings, others associate it with the opposite and tend to run in the opposite direction when they start feeling these deep emotions.
The fact your girlfriend has not been in a serious relationship before supports this idea, I would suggest she has probably had to deal with some painful experiences in her past to do with love and trust.
It is incredibly hard being with someone who associates love with pain, it is a up-hill struggle to constantly reassure them. I think that you should try and have one more talk with your girlfriend and find out the reasons for her sudden change in feelings for you and see if she can open up her feelings to you. Reassure her by telling her how much you want to be with her. If she opens up then great, but if she pushes you away again then I would say to try and be strong, accept what is her decision and allow her to move on without any more discussion. I hope things work out in the way you want them to.
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A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (26 March 2007):
 Hi. I think you should take a step back and let her come to you. By all means speak with her if she calls but keep it brief and very cool, tell her you're on your way out with friends etc. Don't initiate any contact. Let her start missing you, raise her interest levels and get some more affection for you. If she loves you she'll come running sooner or later. If you chase her or put pressure on her she'll feel great and confident but she'll just pull away so you have to be strong and do it this way. Take care.
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (26 March 2007):
 You were her first serious boyfriend.
How do you know that(I guess she told you so).
It means that she wanted you to believe that her attitude to you is serious.
That's exactly how it looks from the other side.
Your question is should you try to contact her?
Well, it depends on your attitude to her and what you expect out of this relationship.
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