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... Send *d206 a private message | | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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Am I too sensitive?
Q. hello everyone, I have a problem with my boyfriend of 10 months, he can't seem to take me seriously. Recently he started picking on me Again and i couldn't take it and started yelling at him to leave me alone and stop being annoying. Basicall...
A. 6 February 2007: When you say he picks on you do you mean in a nasty way or in an affectionate teasing way? Can you give me an example? If it's the latter then you are being too sensitive. Maybe you're not used to being teased and you can't deal with it now that ... (read in full...)
I love this guy but haven't heard from him in 2 weeks! Has he lost interest in me now???
Q. i met this guy last summer in person and Me and this guy have been chattin a lot on the phone and internet, like everyday and i suppose i got used to it, i think i love him and he says he loves me too, but he hasnt called me for 2 weeks now, has he ...
A. 6 February 2007: Ask him. To be honest it sounds to me like your gut instinct is right but maybe something has happened in his life that means he can't call right now or maybe he just got sick of being the one to make the effort. The only way to find out though is ... (read in full...)
My MOM or my PARTNER? Who do I choose?
Q. if you had a choice between your mom and your partner who would you choose?...
A. 6 February 2007: Depends how serious the partner was. I'd be inclined to say family last longer than lovers but if I were married to a great guy my answer might be different. Want to provide some context?
CD... (read in full...)
Since his Mother passed away, my husband wants a new baby. I'm not sure if I can handle this! What should I do?
Q. My husbands mother died 1 week ago today. He is getting better but he is naturally very emotional. I have been there to support him every step of the way and I will continue to do so. Ever since his mother passed away he has been trying to talk ...
A. 6 February 2007: I think you're right. He just wants to plug the hole left by his mother in his life. Tell him you want to spend some time coming to terms with things first before you jump into a big decision like having a baby but that you're willing to talk about ... (read in full...)
Saw my ex and I dream of him! Does this mean I am not in love with my current partner?
Q. I've been in a relationship for 4 years and have a baby of 1 year, I recently saw my ex-boyfriend in the pub and haven't been able to stop thinking about him and having dreams of myself and him being together. Does this mean that I am not actually ...
A. 6 February 2007: Seeing your boyfriend has just stirred up some odd feelings. I don't think it means you don't love your current boyfriend, you just feel wistful for what you used to have. Put this out of your mind. Deep down I think you're happy with your current ... (read in full...)
Why do men bed you and then tell you...they have a gf?
Q. Why do men lie to women and try to take them to bed you refuse and then they tell you they have a girlfriend and that they did not want anything but to be friends and then their upset girlfriend answers their phone when you phone to tell this guy ...
A. 6 February 2007: It sounds like you've been hit by the user curse. Not all guys are like this but in some places in the world there exist a small group of men whose aim is to mess with as many people's heads as possible by sleeping with them and then going back to ... (read in full...)
Am I just too young to understand?
Q. Everytime I read the posts on this site I find it really hard to understand why people decide that they don't want to be with someone else? Am I just too young to understand as I have had only one proper relationship. Why can't people just compromi...
A. 6 February 2007: Sometimes I feel exactly the same way because usually a little compromise is all that is needed to make some of these relationships work. What you'll notice though, is that a lot of people aren't prepared to do that. They think they're right and ... (read in full...)
He masturbates every morning before work...is this normal in along term relationship?
Q. my boyfriend masterbates in the morning before work? i feel that i don't satifiy him and i also feel rejected? should I feel this way or is it normal to masterbate in a relatonship Please help this is destroying our relationship of 5 years....
A. 6 February 2007: I really don't think this is a big issue. Most men masturbate several times a day even when they're in a regular relationship just because you're not always there and even if you were you probably wouldn't be up for sex 7 times a day! If it really ... (read in full...)
My mum died, at first my GF was great, but now shes asked me not to talk, now I have no one to talk to about it!!!
Q. This is a strange question. My mum died and at first my girlfriend was amazing help. Then she went on holiday, whilst she was away i was having trouble dealing with the lose of my mum and i shared my feelings with her. When she returned from her ...
A. 6 February 2007: I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I bet it is excrutiatingly difficult for your girlfriend to talk about her mum and to see you upset but you need her to be there for you right now and I'm semi shocked that she's not taking her responsibilities ... (read in full...)
I confessed that I screened his calls, he know says hes going to beat me because of it!!!
Q. hi i confessed to my bf that i was able to screen his calls and that i noticed a particular number he kept ringing he got mad but told me he would tell me. But he came home and ignored me today, hes told me hes going to beat me because of it.... i...
A. 6 February 2007: Any man who threatens to beat his girlfriend is a loser who cannot be saved. Move out immediately and move in with a friend or relative. If neither of these is an option go to your nearest womens' refuge who can help you find accommodation until you ... (read in full...)
I've started to fall for my best friends husband, she died over a year ago and I feel really bad!!
Q. my best]t friend passed away a year and a half ago. her husband and i have become friends, mainly because their daughter is my godchild anyway. one nite recently we found ourselves kissing and stuff . worse of all i kinda like him, im starting to...
A. 6 February 2007: Do you think your friend wanted her husband to be single for his whole life? Do you think she wanted you to stay forever single? I'm guessing that if she was a good friend and wife then the answer was no. You've been through an enormous trauma ... (read in full...)
Does Flirting Count as Cheating ?
Q. Wow, okay, this is crazy...lolz, I really like this guy I know. He's lik 29 or 30, and he's really flirty with me. I know he's like this with everyone, but he seems more-so with me. I really like him. It's probably just hormones with me, but he ...
A. 6 February 2007: People define cheating in different ways. To me what you're doing sounds pretty harmless but I don't know that your boyfriend would see it the same way. Personally I see flirting as an excellent way of working off some of that sexual tension between ... (read in full...)
I made the mistake of admitting that I would glance at a stunner, now she wants to end it!!!
Q. Dear Cupid I told my girlfriend that all men and women look/glance/stare at other women/men while not in the company of their girlfriend/boyfriend. She claims that she will aggressively turn away if she notices another attractive man and expects ...
A. 6 February 2007: Goodness. Your girlfriend really needs to grow up. Is she seriously trying to say that she walks down the street looking at the pavement just in case a cute guy moves into her line of vision? I think you're better off without this kind of pressure ... (read in full...)
I'm only 25 and I've got an erection problem, any advice ?
Q. Erection problems at 25... I have never had this problem before and it is quite embarrassing. I get really hard right before I am about to put it in but as I start intercourse it almost instantly goes slightly soft and shortly after goes all the ...
A. 6 February 2007: It's likely that it's stress. Try to get more sleep and eat a healthier diet and see if that helps. If not have a chat with your doctor. It's probably just a stage. I wouldn't worry
CD... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and a virgin. I want to save it for someone special but I feel pressured to do it now because of my friends! Please help.
Q. I am 16 an stil a virgin, i have been offered to have sex loads and loads but the more i get asked the harder it is to say no, i wanna know what its like NOW yet i wanna save it for my first true love whoever that may be. I feel so pressured seems ...
A. 6 February 2007: Stick to your guns missy! You're doing amazingly. There's absolutely no rush to lose your virginity and believe me, when you meet someone you love you'll be glad you waited. Forget what your friends are saying. A lot of stuff that's said about sex ... (read in full...)
I'm not really good with children and I'm wondering if it's ok for me t want him and not his kid?
Q. My boyfriend has a two year old son with his ex. She's psycho. I'm not really down with the kid. I'm 29 but I'm no where ready to have kids nor do I want to be a mom. Is it okay to be with him but not want the kid? What do I say to him?...
A. 6 February 2007: I totally understand you not wanting kids. They're hard work when they're your own let alone the rest of the time. However the idea I get from your post is that the kid only spends a little time with his Dad. I would try and get to know the kid. ... (read in full...)
Her ex is contacting her at odd times and I think he still wants her. But am I being paranoid?
Q. Hi there. Was after a bit of advise. Ive been with my partner for a bit over 6 months now and were good friends before that. We both came from previous long term relationships and are fairly grounded into knowing what we expect from a relationsh...
A. 6 February 2007: I think what it basically comes down to is do you trust your girlfriend? I'm not surprised you don't trust her ex and equally it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't trust yours, but the truth is that neither of these things matter in comparison to ... (read in full...)
Why does it bother me, that he likes to have porn pics on his phone. Is it my insecurities?
Q. help how do i stop being so insecure! I am very much in love and trust my boyfriend and vice versa. The thing thats sending me nuts is whats on his phone. Loads of our intimate videos but its the two he has of a model obviously pornographic. He ...
A. 6 February 2007: You can't stop your brain thinking these things. We all think them. Being women it seems we're indisposed to go a bit nutty overthinking these things. You just have to keep pushing them back out of your head. Easy? No, easier with practise? Most ... (read in full...)
He has a gf but really likes me! Should I continue contact with him?
Q. hi there, last month i met a man online. we flirted for a while and then out of the blue (although i wasnt surprised) he told me he had a grlfriend. i said that was ok and we could remain friends so we have been emailing for a weeks as friends, i ...
A. 6 February 2007: No problem.Hope things work out for you. Let me know if you need anything else.
CD... (read in full...)
He constantly moans that women no longer admire him. I think this is very disrespectful to me...what do you all think?
Q. i believe my partner is very disrespecting to me,he constantly moans how awful he looks and women no longer look at him,i tell him how beautiful he is and i fancy him like hell and all that matters is how i see him.if he was happy with me would he ...
A. 6 February 2007: Some people need to be admired by others to feel worthy. He takes your admiration for granted because when you married him that was as good as saying you would always admire him. Sounds like he's having a bit of a mid life crisis to be honest. Give ... (read in full...)
Is virginity important and how old were you all, when you lost it?
Q. when is the average age to lose your virginity becuase most people these days are losing it younger and put you in a position where you think of how far you went with a boy. How old was you when you lost your virginity? Is virginity important? i am ...
A. 6 February 2007: Virginity is important. When I was your age I was desperate to lose it as fast as I can but I'm glad I waited until I was 17 (which is still the average age for people to lose their virginity in the UK) and that I was with someone I loved. Sex has ... (read in full...)
We want to 'go all the way' with this other couple. Are there any repercussions we should be aware of?
Q. Me and my husband have been best friends with another couple until last year when we decided to try some not-so-innocent massage on each others spouses. It took me a while but today we are still the greatest of friends and in addition we have turned ...
A. 6 February 2007: I've never been in this situation so I just want to list a few concerns. Perhaps they're things you've already considered to feel free to ignore them if so
1 What if your kids found out? I think it's highly important that you're discreet about th... (read in full...)
My family think my fiancee does not put me first! What should Ido?
Q. I am due to get married in June 2007 and I'm having doubts about this. I love my fiance dearly but both of our families have been overbearing with the wedding plans, so much so, that I actually cancelled the original 'big white wedding' we had ...
A. 6 February 2007: Do you think your boyfriend puts you first? Because that's really all that matters. Your family should be supporting you in the run up to your big day. If you had any doubts then I'd advise you to postpone the wedding until you'd had the chance to ... (read in full...)
He has a gf but really likes me! Should I continue contact with him?
Q. hi there, last month i met a man online. we flirted for a while and then out of the blue (although i wasnt surprised) he told me he had a grlfriend. i said that was ok and we could remain friends so we have been emailing for a weeks as friends, i ...
A. 6 February 2007: It's not impossible that he could leave his girlfriend for you but it seems unlikely. If he wanted to wouldn't he already have done it? Also how comfortable are you with the idea of taking some other woman's guy because that's what you're doing. If ... (read in full...)
He has these odd dreams about me and other guys! Do you think he doesnt trust me and he thinks I'm going to cheat on him or run off with someone else?
Q. hey! im 16 and i have a bf that i have been with for just over a month now. first question: he told me about this dream he had of me last night. it was about me talking to one of his mates and my bf came to talk to me but i wouldnt leave his mate a...
A. 6 February 2007: Wow, a lot of people are asking about dreams tonight and I've told all of them about my dream where my grandmother turns me into a frog and then tries to eat me. Am I worried my grandmother is seriously an evil witch and a carnivore? No. There's ... (read in full...)
He's in the army and I miss him...should I be annoyed that his army career comes first?
Q. i got a bit of a problem, me an my bf have been together nearly 2 years now an i am totaly in love with him but in september he joined the army and im finding it hard to get used to not spending time with him or havin any kisses or cuddles and when ...
A. 6 February 2007: I don't think he can just leave the army. Once you join you have to stay for a certain period of time. Right now will be a hard time to carry on your relationship but don't try and make him pick between you and his dream. It's not fair and I'm ... (read in full...)
His past affair with his brother's wife is causing us problems. Are we going to make it?
Q. My boyfriend had an affair with his brother's wife 3 yrs ago before we were together. He still talks to her because she is in the family. He say he loves me and wants to be with me. We get along very well; however, we do argue over his relationship ...
A. 6 February 2007: It can but you need to accept that because theyre family, it's inevitable that they're going to talk. I understand how hard it is but it's not like he has a choice here unless you plan to make him pick between his family and you, which personally I ... (read in full...)
Have you ever had mixed feelings for the one you're with? Any input?
Q. Have you ever had mixed feelings for the one you're with? I think it's because i am not used to being treated this good because it happened to the other 2 nice guys i was with. It's like i try to find the littlest things about them that i don't ...
A. 5 February 2007: Of course! I think it's only natural to see little things that you don't like about the other person but if you really love them I think it's possible to see past them. You might be right that your past experiences have made you look for things to ... (read in full...)
Why do people say that being in love "hurts?"
Q. hi people say being in love hurts. i dont understand this?????...
A. 5 February 2007: Love is amazing. There is no feeling like it in the world. The problem is that love isn't always forever and when people think about it ending it hurts really badly. It's kind of hard to explain but trust me, one day you'll understand.
CD... (read in full...)
She still wants me but I know I have hurt her! What should I do?
Q. been with my fiance for seven years and have little boy of 3yrs - she recently found out I had got friendly with another girl and met her once only to chat (nothing sexual at all - was not looking for that). Also found a letter I wrote about 3 years ...
A. 5 February 2007: Urge her to forgive you for the sake of your son. Promise her you won't do it again and stick to it but make sure she knows that nobody us more important to you than her and your son.
CD... (read in full...)
Is Valentine's Day important to girls?
Q. is valentines day important to girls? ...
A. 5 February 2007: I think that at your age it's really important to them but every girl is different just as every guy is so it's possible that your girl sees it as a commercialised rubbishfest!
CD... (read in full...)
He wants to meet me but I am scared he will be disappointed. How do I stop thinking this way?
Q. I met this guy last summer,and we talk a lot on the phone and on the internet even still now this long on. He keeps saying he wants to meet up with me but also says he loves me so much and I'm so sexy, I'm scared he will be disapointed, and another ...
A. 5 February 2007: He doesn't love you. Nobody can love you until they meet you. Also are you prepared for the age gap? Girls are so much more mature than guys at your age and he may disappoint you which is something you haven't considered. Also, promise me that if ... (read in full...)
My partner is great with me but when we visit his parents he's distant! Should I move on?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months and it seems to be going ok. I just have this feeling that something bad is going to happen. When it is just him and I, it's great. But, when we go visit his parents, it's like he is distant from me. I ...
A. 5 February 2007: When I took my ex home to meet my parents I went into a total spin about the way my parents were looking at me. Every time I touched him I thought they were imagining us having sex and it got to the stage where I didn't want to look at him when we ... (read in full...)
Does he hate me that much to not care if I was dead or alive?
Q. i am so hurt,i cant get over how my partner could be heartless.we had a serious row how yet again he degraded me in public,focusing his attention on a female dancing instead of me,even moved away from me so he had a full view,we exchanged words and ...
A. 5 February 2007: I think he just wanted to give you some space to blow off some steam. Guys aren't perfect. Sometimes they look at other women or porn or whatever and it's not because they don't love us, just because they don't see it in the same way as us. Whereas ... (read in full...)
What do I write in a Valentine's Card to my current bf? Any ideas?
Q. hello im 16 and have a slight problem. valentines day is coming and me an my boyfriend have been together for just over a month now. when i get him a card im not sure what to write in it. not sure whether i should say 'love you' and stuff or ...
A. 5 February 2007: The majority of guys don't take Valentines Day as seriously as us. Whereas we have to pick the perfect card and write the perfect words inside, as you've seen most guys are happy just to write the minumum and sign their name. This doesn't mean they ... (read in full...)
My lack of self-confidence affects my nerves and make life at work hard. What can I do to help myself?
Q. I'm suffering from a very bad confidence problem, i.e the lack of. In short loads of things have happened to me over the past decade that all but shattered my nerves. It's had an effect on everything but here and now it's badly affecting my work. I ...
A. 5 February 2007: Sounds a lot like you're having panic attacks when you have to use the phone. I've suffered with them myself and its taken a long time to get them under control and I still get them occassionally. Things that helped me cope were to count to ten and ... (read in full...)
Going out for 2 months and we want to go to the next step. How do I go about this?
Q. my girlfriend and i hav been going out for 2 months, and i asked her if she wants to take things further, and she said yeah, but i don't know how to make the first move. we're both sixteen. please help....
A. 5 February 2007: You need to sit down and talk maturely about this. If you can't do this you're not ready. It'd be a sensible idea for you to visit your nearest family planning clinic together (google to find your nearest one) to talk about contraception and stuff ... (read in full...)
Do boys like it if a girl makes noises during sex?
Q. Im going to have sex with my boyfriend this weekend, i just wanted to know, does it hurt the fist time you have sex? and do boys like it if a girl makes noises during sex?...
A. 5 February 2007: It does hurt a little when you first have sex but only for a little while and it's not a big deal. As for noise during sex guys seem to feel differently about it. Some guys tell me it's a major turn on to know they're pleasing you and others say it ... (read in full...)
How do I convince my good friend that this ex bf is using her?
Q. my best friend was going out with this guy for a long time. it was her frist proper boyfriend and she took him really seriously. they 'loved' each other and so did sexual things together. when he dumped her, she was heart boken because he said 'i ...
A. 5 February 2007: Unfortunately you can't make her change her mind if she really believes he's changed. The worst thing about being best friends (in my opinion) is telling your friend not to do something, watch them do it and then have to comfort them because it's ... (read in full...)
Is my husband gay because i dreamt he is??
Q. I had the worst dream in my life! Here’s my dream in a quick description: My husband and I were visiting a church somewhere in Louisiana (I’ve never been there before), we sat towards that back pews and I looked down at his shoes and he was wear...
A. 5 February 2007: A couple of nights ago I had a dream about how a guy from my university course who I've never even spoken to got me pregnant without us even having sex and even though he was happy about it I was absolutely terrified of telling my best friend ... (read in full...)
Why is it so easy for him yet hard for me??
Q. My ex boyfriend let me down, he would break up with me constantly, and would just leave me wondering where he was and what he was doing. I chose to wait till I was married before getting intimate but he says that I didn't give him the things he ...
A. 5 February 2007: I think us women always like to think we'll be the one to change a man. You did good though. You could have given in to his demands about how he needed sex. Although guys and girls like sex it's not as vital a need as he was making out. Don't beat ... (read in full...)
Why does it bother me, that he likes to have porn pics on his phone. Is it my insecurities?
Q. help how do i stop being so insecure! I am very much in love and trust my boyfriend and vice versa. The thing thats sending me nuts is whats on his phone. Loads of our intimate videos but its the two he has of a model obviously pornographic. He ...
A. 5 February 2007: He's told you he doesn't. Porn is all about fantasies. You can never be as "perfect" as the porn girl unless you buy your own personal airbrusher. Real girls just aren't like that. He loves you for yourself. Try not to worry. Your boyfriend sounds ... (read in full...)
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