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... Send *d206 a private message | | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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Is it legal to have a relationship with a first cousin?
Q. My friend is too embarrassed to try and get help, but he is in love with his first cousin and everyone is confusing him on whether it's legal or not ? Also, I've tried helping him find out the legal age for a relationship between first cousins an...
A. 11 February 2007: Relationships between first cousins are legal and the age of consent is 16. However I would advise your friend to think of the consequences of being with a cousin because if the relationship doesn't last he's still going to be in the same family as ... (read in full...)
Bf has herpes and I am resenting all the restrictions we undertake, to prevent me catching it. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend has genital herpes and now the fun beginning part of our relationship is over, I'm starting to think I'm missing out. I enjoy sex without a condom, obviously we can't do this, and I also love the intimacy of just making love whenever ...
A. 11 February 2007: Then I guess you have to make a choice.... do you stay with this amazing guy who you love lots and who obviously cares about you with all the measures he's taking to make sure that the herpes remains his problem and not yours or do you break up with ... (read in full...)
I am now married but my feelings for him havent changed
Q. i have met with my ex boyfriend after not seing him for the past 8 years. even though now that i am married and have a child, my feelings for him havent changed. he's going through a divorce and we just met as old friends. i dont know what to do....
A. 11 February 2007: I don't really think that committing suicide was totally to do with being in a dead marriage. Real suicidal feelings come from feeling you have no reason to live whereas you quite clearly still did (your child and a husband who may not be as loving ... (read in full...)
How would you know if you became pregnant while taking the pill?
Q. Hi. I've been on the pill for about three months now and became sexually active 2 months ago. I've always used condoms in conjunction with the pill just to be extra safe, but there were 4 or 5 times when i decided not to use condoms. My bf and i ...
A. 11 February 2007: Your periods stop when you're on the pill and you're pregnant in 99% of cases. Of course it's always possible that the person in the 1% will note and say hers didn't stop but regardless of this if your periods change at any time or if they stop it ... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship but don't feel anything for him physically but I don't want to dump him as it would hurt his feelings
Q. Im 15 im in a relationship with this guy. He's really nice and probably one of the sweetest guys i've met. We are quite open with each other and i feel i can tell him anything. However i've started to feel like something is missing. After much tho...
A. 11 February 2007: Relationships can work without physical attraction if you try very hard to make yourself believe that the attraction is there but to be honest it's too much like hard work. What would be better is to realise that maybe you're not meant to be with ... (read in full...)
I like this guy, he's 20 and I'm 15. Is this too big an age gap?
Q. I have been talking to my mates cousin quite a lot recently online and bumping into him every now and again in town. He has been quite flirty with me, he has a girlfriend but said: things arent going too well i dunno how long its gonna last... your ...
A. 11 February 2007: Right now it's a big age gap since you're both looking for very different things from a relationship, not to mention the fact that he's already in a relationship and it wouldn't be fair on his girlfriend if anything happened between you. Things ... (read in full...)
Can a broken heart fully heal?
Q. Hey everyone, can a broken heart fully heal?...
A. 11 February 2007: Yes it can but it requires patience and understanding. Don't try to rush it or feel impatient that it's taking too old because that just makes it worse.
CD... (read in full...)
At the moment it's "tops only" but worried he'll want to venture further!
Q. dear cupid i am 16 and have a 17 year old bf. my problem is that he is asking for sex should i give in. i let him touch my breats but thats it. what should i do??????...
A. 11 February 2007: It sounds like you're not ready to take things further with your boyfriend and you should tell him that. I just want to warn you (and I'm not saying your boyfriend will definitely do this) that some guys your age use sex as an ultimatum, saying they ... (read in full...)
He wants some guy time but I don't want him to leave me. Am I being unreasonable?
Q. My boyfriend has many friends out of state and he wants to go travel and see them. He only wants to bring me on some of the trips. He says because it would be an imposition on some of his friends since their places are small and that he just wants ...
A. 11 February 2007: I'm sorry but it's not reasonable. He's entitled to his own space just like you are. Guy time means time to be a man with his friends, not rock up with a girl hanging off his arm and calling each other sweetie etc. All he's asking is for some space ... (read in full...)
Am I in an unhealthy relationship?
Q. Hi, I am 21 years old and think I may be in an unhealthy relationship. I have been with my partner for five years and love him to bits, in the time I have been with him both my parents have passed away and so as you can imagine I am very attached...
A. 11 February 2007: You don't need to be in a relationship where you're constantly being downtrodden. I know you feel you owe him after he's been there for you when your parents passed away etc but you don't owe anything to a man who wants to control you. Don't allow ... (read in full...)
I asked him to the prom he said he had a girlfriend but he'll go as my friend the the girlfriend won't mind!!!! You reckon that's the truth?
Q. I asked a guy to prom as friends, but I like him as more than a friend. He said yes, that he'd like to. I kinda laughingly replied that I was surprised cause I was so sure that he had a girlfriend. He said he does, but that she won't mind if we just ...
A. 11 February 2007: I think if something was going on he wouldn't have admitted to the girlfriend to be honest. I'm fairly sure he's just got an incredibly chilled girlfriend and he wants to be your friend.
CD... (read in full...)
I like this guy but am too nervous to talk to him. Any suggestions?
Q. dear cupid, i really like this guy and i'm too nervous to say anything to him because i don't wanta screw up. what should i do??? ...
A. 11 February 2007: I reckon u just need to build up to it. Start by saying hi and smiling. It's just one word! Maybe he'll even take the initiative to start chatting after that but even if he doesn't you can build up to have a good day/evening etc and soon into fully ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend fingered me and I didn't get any pleasure from it...
Q. Hi, i'll just get straight to the point, my boyffriend fingered me and i didnt get any pleasure at all from it, im a virgin too, also i started to bleed a little. Is this normal? ...
A. 11 February 2007: The bleeding is normal because your boyfriend broke your hymen which is a thin piece of skin that covers the entrance to your vagina. Also you're probably not used to having fingers in there so it was bound to hurt a little the first time. I'm ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still friends with his ex and I'm very uncomfortable about this, advice is appreciated.
Q. I've been going out with my b/f for a month. The issue is -- he broke up with his ex, 3 weeks before he met me. He broke up with her because he didn't see a future with her, but is good friends with her. Which I thought he should of made clear ...
A. 11 February 2007: Your boyfriend is right. Are you saying that if your boyfriend had told you he was staying friends with your ex before you started going out that it would have affected your decision? Staying friends with exes is a difficult but mature thing to do. ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as loving one another too much?
Q. Okay, this is probably going to sound like a ridiculous question but I just wanted to know what you think. Is loving somebody too much bad for a relationship? Me and my gorgeous guy are so in love it's unbelievable I know in myself th...
A. 11 February 2007: I think as long as you both love each other equally this is never a problem. It only becomes one when one person is more attached to the other because the other feels crowded and under pressure whereas the one who loves more feels underappreciated ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend never to look at attractive females, if he truly loved me he'd view me as the most beautiful woman around and look away if other attractive woman pass.
Q. My boyfriend told me that all men (and women) glance at other very attractive members of the opposite sex when they're alone. I don't believe him because my ex never looked at other females (he told me so.) Although I love him, I want a man that...
A. 11 February 2007: Sorry but your boyfriend is right here. For one I bet you drool over celebrities that you find attractive even if you do find your boyfriend attractive. Just because he glances at someone else doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It might just mean ... (read in full...)
I am 13 and my girlfriend is a bit shy to go any further, what can I do?
Q. hi i am 13 and i think my girlfriend is a bit shy about doing anything physical she is ok with hugging and kissing at school discos but she wont go any further what can i do ??????...
A. 10 February 2007: How much further do you want to go? You're 13! Enjoy the innocence of a little bit of kissing and cuddling before anything else complicates it.
CD... (read in full...)
She's really busy with her studies. How can I convince her to remain in a relationship with me?
Q. My girlfriend and I had been going out for roughly 3 months, but she recently ended it with me because she says she doesn't have enough time for all her study and me, and that it wouldn't be fair on me. I'm fine with her not being able to see me a...
A. 10 February 2007: Have you told her you're fine with not seeing her as much as before? If you haven't then do it. She's not a mindreader after all. The problem is though if she's not willing to risk it after that then you have to support her decision. Unfortunately ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on this girl and her best friend has a crush on me but I don't feel anything for the friend... Help!!!!
Q. Hi, I've met this girl a few months ago and I really like her but I'm incredibly shy. When we are doing some activities together I can get quite loose and have great fun with her in a way friends would. I totally fell in love with her about a mont...
A. 10 February 2007: You shouldn't really say anything to her. She's with someone else. Making a move will not only wreck your friendship but make her feel awkward in arelationship she's currently very happy in. If her friend is in love with you she'll stand by her ... (read in full...)
Why do I tend to drive people away that I really like before they hurt me?
Q. hey.i really need your help.i was seeing this guy, he was really really attractive and yeah i really liked him a LOT. I thought that i had finally met mr.right. However i am very insecure. He met my best friend the other day and had expected that ...
A. 10 February 2007: It's not about being insecure or weird. You're terrified of rejection so you hurt yourself before anyone else can. I'm really sorry but I think you have to write off this guy to experience. You've messed with his head too much but for future ... (read in full...)
How can I help my mom? She keeps calling me crying all the time
Q. i dont know what to do. my dad has had 3 affairs.he has been begging mum to have him back for over a year now. she had him back just beafore christmas, then left again last week. she is totaly totally heartbroken AGAIN,, and keeps asking me why she ...
A. 10 February 2007: Counselling is free on referral from a doctor on the NHS although there is a waiting list. You have to remember first of all that your mother's happiness isn't your responsibility. It's great you want to help her but you can only do so much so keep ... (read in full...)
I have these fantasies about kissing girls but when it comes down to it I can't go through with it.
Q. dear cupid i would like to know if this is normal or not, i fantasise about kissing girls and french kissing them etc. but when it comes to the real thing how comes i dont feel like i can go through with it as my stomach turns when i think abo...
A. 10 February 2007: If we didn't get nervous about kissing then it wouldn't be half as good as it is. Half the excitement is down to the nerves. It seems to me like you're thinking too hard about it. Build up to it slowly. Start by kissing someone on the cheek, next ... (read in full...)
I have a "shag buddy" but now I want a proper relationship with him
Q. I've been sleeping with a close male friend for about 2 years, you could desbribe him as a "shag buddy". I was coming out of a long term relationship when it began, but am now single, and would love to have a go at taking things to another level ...
A. 10 February 2007: Women always get more emotionally involved in a sexual relationship than a man. The problem is here that he's already told you he doesn't want a relationship and therefore what you want doesn't really matter in the great scheme of things. I suggest ... (read in full...)
How do I know if my boyfriend REALLY loves me?
Q. hi im 16. how do i know whether my boyfriend is in love with me or not? i have been with him for 2 months and are there any signs that he would be in love with me? (Not just have a crush on me but actually in love). thank you very much for all ...
A. 10 February 2007: You can't know until he says it so just be patient.
CD... (read in full...)
I just finished with my ex and cried to my best friend about it, now she's going out with him!!!
Q. my best friend and me are having a rocky relationship i just finished with my ex who i really loved i moan constantly to her about him, i went in2 school the next day and shes goin out with him i feel awful im gettin really depressed i went mad i ...
A. 10 February 2007: I'm sorry this has happened to you but your ex doesn't love you if he's going out with someone else. And your friend isn't acting like a friend at all. I'm inclined to tell you that friends last longer than boyfriends and that you should try to stay ... (read in full...)
We want to be together forever... but what if we're not? Am I thinking too much into this?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been saying that we're perfect for each other since we started dating. but yesterday i told him that i was worried about if we ever broke up. and he said "i will never leave you" and i said "but what if i leave you?" and i ...
A. 10 February 2007: No, you're the one who's right. You're both far too young to be committing to someone and saying you'll be together forever. So many things can change for you in the upcoming years that you may simply fall out of love. After all, it happens! The ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to fantasise about another when you're having sex with your girlfriend?
Q. I am a single guy and have formed a habit of visualizing having sex with some girls i find attractive. I mimic it in my mind and masturbate. This has been a source of my pleasure in absence of real sex. Now i am planning to have a committe...
A. 10 February 2007: No it's not wrong but I wouldn't tell your girlfriend you're doing it and obviously be very careful if you're the kind of guy who shouts out your girl's name during sex. If this tactic keeps you faithful to your girlfriend then you should absolutely ... (read in full...)
Does she really fancy me or is she just being desperate?
Q. hi guys i met this girl at a party and she obviously fancies me but I don't fancy her. she kept looking at me at the party and smiling and whispering to her friend and pulling me up to dance! she has now tried calling me and asks me to go...
A. 10 February 2007: I think she fancies you and since it's obvious you don't feel the same way the don't go round to her place etc. Eventually she'll work up the nerve to tell you how she feels or make a move and it wouldn't hurt to start thinking now about how to deal ... (read in full...)
I met this man on the net, found out he's married but won't talk about his situation but he still wants to see me!
Q. I met someone of an online dating service, it was supposed to be a site for singles. I began chatting with one man more often than the others, we exchanged #'s and began talking ten or more times a day. I meet him for a drink's and ended up kissing ...
A. 10 February 2007: Why did you tell him not to bother you? I'm guessing it was because you didn't want to hurt his wife yes? If that's the reason then what changed? If she finds out about this she's going to be devastated. It's not fair. He's just having his cake and ... (read in full...)
He recently told me the relationship is not going well. I don't want to lose him, what can I do??? Please help me save it!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend, I love him. I dont want to lose him. He recently told me, he doesnt think the relationship is going well. That we dont see each other, that we dont hardly talk. I love him so much. I was getting angry... I asked him if he wante...
A. 10 February 2007: Well as far as I can see he's told you what he thinks is wrong with your relationship which is, quite frankly an amazing advantage. You say you can't spend much time together because of the school thing. What about evenings and weekends? And as for ... (read in full...)
If you see someone every day, does the magic fade faster?
Q. I was wondering if anyone can relate to this. I used to have a boyfriend who lived an hour away from me. And the relationship lasted like five months. I was never in love with him and was not really physically atracted to him but I had more fun ...
A. 10 February 2007: Hmm well first thing's first. If you're only seeing someone occassionally the lust stage of the relationship is going to last longer whereas with your new guy the lust will fade faster but the love will come quicker. It's also worth remembering that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of one week is moving way to quickly! How can I slow him down a bit?
Q. my bf of only a week has plans for us in the future he planned living together marriage and kids all ready im his first gf but i think he moving too fast any ideas how to talkabout this with him he also calls me a name from the ps1 game f...
A. 10 February 2007: You could try telling him that calling you by the name of his fantasy girl (even if she is in computer form) makes you feel jealous of his feelings for her. He might think you're a bit nutty but he wouldn't b hurt by it I don't think.
As for the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I broke up and I slept with another person during the break... we're now back together and he doesn't know, should I tell him?
Q. my bf decided he wanted a break for a while following a big row we had. i slept with someone else in the time we were apart and the next day he decided he wanted to try again. i didnt tell him about this other person because part of me feels as we ...
A. 10 February 2007: I'm as torn as you are about this. Even though I think cheating is never right, I do feel you're genuinely sorry that this has happened and that your guilt is punishment enough for you. Is there any way your boyfriend will find out if you don't tell ... (read in full...)
I sent him on his way and now he has another girlfriend and I regret doing it!
Q. So there is this guy that i was hooking up with and hes had a gf on and off but i finally ended it with him telling him if he was still going out with her then im done hooking up and now i kinda regret it because he is wtih his girlfriend but he ...
A. 10 February 2007: He doesn't have any respect for you or his girlfriend. If he did he'd never have slept with you in the first place or he'd be willing to break up with her to be with you. You did absolutely the right thing in giving him an ultimatum. I think the ... (read in full...)
I find it really hard to hug my girlfriend, I'm just nervous I guess... who can I be less nervous?
Q. I have been going out with my girlfriend for nearly 2 weeks. But i really find it hard to hug her. I just feel really uncomfortable. Everyone is pressuring me and it is really annoying. Please help...
A. 10 February 2007: Just build up to it. When you're saying goodbye start by putting a hand on her shoulder, next time put an arm round her shoulder. By the third time you should be ready for that hug. I'm not sure what makes you uncomfortable about hugging but it's ... (read in full...)
Why do I find it so hard to initiate a relationship?
Q. I am 24 years old, and have never had a relationship (Romantic or Sexual). I am not unattractive, and I am relatively smart. I have a great work ethic and I believe I am an all around nice guy. I get along with people very well, and I am liked more ...
A. 10 February 2007: Just a hunch but I think it's one of two things. Either you're scared of rejection or you're giving off desperation signals. That's not meant in an offensive way but I think its got to the stage now where you're so ready to end this single run that ... (read in full...)
Is being "friends with benefits" a good idea?
Q. is being friends with benifits ok?...this guy at my skewl wants to be more than friends but he doesn't want a relationship...i really like him but i'm afraid i'm gunna get hurt...like if he finds sumone he wants to be with and just forgets about ...
A. 10 February 2007: Trust me when I tell you that girls always get more attached in these situations than boys. You'll go a few weeks and then you'll start to have feelings for him and he won't have them for you and you'll be heading non stop for heartache. Wait until ... (read in full...)
I can't wear tampons and don't want my new boyfriend to notice I am wearing pads... help!!!
Q. Well i come on my period today and i am out with my new boyfriend sunday night and i don't know what to do as i have tried and tried and tried to wear tampons and just cant seem to get it right! and i dont want to wear a pad so im really stuck! any ...
A. 10 February 2007: You can only start taking the pill on the first day of your period. It's possible to delay a period before it starts but not stop it during. Your boyfriend won't be able to tell whether you're wearing a pad or tampon unless you're planning on ... (read in full...)
Are my periods normal or is there something dangerously wrong here?
Q. ok so im 14, ive had my period for 3 years now and they've been extremely heavy for those 3years, i always spend atleast 10-15mins in the toilet and i go atleast every 1-2hours. im pretty sure i suffer from menorraghia but i havent done much about ...
A. 9 February 2007: It's possible to leak through, especially if you've had the same pad in overnight and also because when you stand up gravity sends the blood rushing downwards quicker than it would normally emerge. A doctor's definition of a heavy period is having ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I may be depressed...any ideas to cheer up and be happy all day?
Q. Lately I feel very tired and I always think I can do things better and that everything I do or buy or wear or do at work is never good enough, I try to relax I also have negative thoughts about my social life as I do not quite enjoy it very much I ...
A. 9 February 2007: There are lots of things you can do to try and get your mood up naturally before you even consider asking the doctor for pills. Doctors are far too happy to hand out anti depressants like sweets these days and it's just not healthy. For a start ... (read in full...)
I had sex for the first time the other night and I didn't feel nothing, is this normal?
Q. lost my virginity the other night went quite well however i didnt feel nothing! i mean it hurt for a bit then was fine, but every1 seems 2 enjoy sex and i felt nothing! is this normal...
A. 9 February 2007: Absolutely, especially if you were with a guy around your age who has no experience in how to make a woman feel good. The thing about first time sex is that it's full of presure. You probably couldn't relax and if you can't relax you can't give in ... (read in full...)
I am now married but my feelings for him havent changed
Q. i have met with my ex boyfriend after not seing him for the past 8 years. even though now that i am married and have a child, my feelings for him havent changed. he's going through a divorce and we just met as old friends. i dont know what to do....
A. 7 February 2007: I think deep down you know that to pursue this man from your past would be wrong. You have a child now. Their happiness has to be your priority without question.
CD... (read in full...)
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