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... Send *d206 a private message | | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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I am now married but my feelings for him havent changed
Q. i have met with my ex boyfriend after not seing him for the past 8 years. even though now that i am married and have a child, my feelings for him havent changed. he's going through a divorce and we just met as old friends. i dont know what to do....
A. 11 February 2007: I don't really think that committing suicide was totally to do with being in a dead marriage. Real suicidal feelings come from feeling you have no reason to live whereas you quite clearly still did (your child and a husband who may not be as loving ... (read in full...)
I had sex for the first time the other night and I didn't feel nothing, is this normal?
Q. lost my virginity the other night went quite well however i didnt feel nothing! i mean it hurt for a bit then was fine, but every1 seems 2 enjoy sex and i felt nothing! is this normal...
A. 9 February 2007: Absolutely, especially if you were with a guy around your age who has no experience in how to make a woman feel good. The thing about first time sex is that it's full of presure. You probably couldn't relax and if you can't relax you can't give in ... (read in full...)
I just can't seem to do anything right as far as my kids are concerned, how do I win with my kids?
Q. hi there i have a 12 yr old girl and an 11 year old boy and since their dad left and we divorced 6 years ago i have always tried to be there for my kids. throughout this time i have struggled with an alchol addicition but have really tried to turn ...
A. 9 February 2007: Your kids are just at that age. You'll be pleased to know it's a stage that passes. As it is their dad lives far away and because of this he's become the cool parent, the one who can spoil them without having to discipline them etc. As their full ... (read in full...)
Do you think my boyfriend really likes my "love handles?"
Q. heya im 16 and have a boyfriend, we have been going out for just over a month. i am small for my age (about 5 ft 1) and i am average weight i think (around 8 stone). i have quite a curvy figure around my hips and i have love handles! (curvy ...
A. 9 February 2007: Some guys like skinny guys, some guys like curvy girls, some guys like fat girls. Everyone is different. That's what makes it so great. Everyone has to potential of finding someone if they look hard enough. Don't feel insecure about your love ... (read in full...)
Is this love?
Q. hi im 16 and i think i might be in love with my boyfriend. we have been together for about a month and a half now and i never stop thinking about him! i love it when he cuddles me and he makes me feel special. sometimes when im not with him i miss ...
A. 9 February 2007: Somehow when you fall in love for the first time you just know it without question. I can't explain the feeling because quite honestly it's the best and worst feeling in the world but both at the same time. I think you like your boyfriend very much ... (read in full...)
Why is she kissing me if she thinks we can't be together?
Q. my best friend is a girl and i have liked her for some time. she knows that i have liked her, and told me she cant see us together because she dosent want to lose a good friend, ova the last week or so she has become more flirty with me and we have ...
A. 9 February 2007: Ask her straight out if she's changed her mind. Tell her the offer is still there if she wants to take you up on it but if she still feels the same then the kissing is out of order because it's raising your hopes. To be honest sounds to me like ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend slept with a married man before we got together and I can't accept this. How can I get past this?
Q. i ended my relationship with my gf cuz she slept with a black dude that is old enough to be her dad and has kids and a woman. she didn't cheat on me cuz this happened before we were together, but i can't accept this. can anyone suggest how i get pa...
A. 9 February 2007: Delve back into your history until you come across something you're ashamed of. We all make mistakes at some point during our lives. Your girlfriend has realised and owned up to hers which makes her a great deal better than a lot of people who ... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your feedback and ideas for DearCupid... !
Q. Hi I'm looking for your feedback and ideas for DearCupid. Either reply to this thread or send me a private mail :-) Got an idea for a new feature? Want to tell me what works well? What's not up to scratch? If you're in the UK hope you're n...
A. 9 February 2007: Just a small thing but maybe you could change it so that people can't rate their own answers? Apart from that love the site... (read in full...)
Will I still bleed if I lose my virginity to him?
Q. hi well im in a long distance relationship...and its goin great just over the 5 month mark. We are going to see each other this week...we have both talked about sex, we are both 18 and feel very ready...we talk and are very open with each other, ...
A. 8 February 2007: It will probably hurt more than with just fingers because it's going to stretch you more but it'll only hurt for a few minutes and the more you worry about the pain the more it will work.
I'm slightly baffled by what you're saying about still bl... (read in full...)
Why do guys always seem to go for matchstick blonde women?
Q. hi i am a bit confused. it seems like only all the skinny blonde, tall girls get boyfriends! i am 16 and i weigh 8 stone :s i am about 5ft 1 Brown hair. is this any boys type? or do they only go for the skinny tall girls?...
A. 8 February 2007: Guys of 16 have a very specific view of what a woman should be. They grow out of it, don't worry. There are countless guys out there who would want to go out with you, you just aren't noticing them. Maybe they like you from afar but think you'd only ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend underweight for his 6ft height?
Q. hey my boyfriend is 16 and im wondering if he is under weight just because he looks very slim. he is about 6ft and weighs 9 stone. is this very skinny for a 16 year old and is he under weight? (I am about 5ft 1 and i weigh 8 stone! lol! so i feel ...
A. 8 February 2007: Okay first things first. You're not overweight. You're at the lower end of normal on the Body Mass Index scale. A normal body mass index is between 19 and 25 and yours will be between 20 and 21. His will be lower but quite a lot of guys are skinny ... (read in full...)
I don't want any lies in our relationship and he's going on holiday with the lads! What should I do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, in our second year I went on holiday with my friends but before i left me and my boyfriend split up. This meant I could have some fun, which I did, meaning I got with another guy. Now he has planned ...
A. 8 February 2007: You can't stop him going on holiday with his friends, especially after he didn't stop you. Also, if we're being fair I guess you should give him the opportunity to have a holiday romance too.... but it sounds like you're in too deep with this ... (read in full...)
He wants to try again... should I risk being hurt again?
Q. Where to start?? well....i had this boyfriend last year who i fell for very badly... and i really thought we could last. I lost my virginity to him and i really wanted us to work. He made me smile and i couldn't stop thinking about him...or talking ...
A. 8 February 2007: I think if he really wants you back he should be prepared to make that effort. At his age boys mature fast so a guy who's totally immature at 16 could be much better by 17 but there are no guarantees he won't hurt you again. You need to be sure you ... (read in full...)
How can I build up my body?
Q. Hi, I am 19, 20 this year and i am 6ft 1 tall. I have always been very slim, i'm uncomfortable about my body being on show when i'm going swimming or when in the summer it's hot and want to take off my top. The problem is weight like 9 stone and...
A. 8 February 2007: Hi. The best thing you can do is chat to your trainer at the gym or to a doctor but things you can try before then is eating a high carb diet. Avoid the fat since it seems it just passes straight through you anyway (wish I was you!) but bulk up on ... (read in full...)
I wrote a bulletin on My Space and my friends have taken the wrong meaning from it, now they're not talking to me... what do I do now?
Q. I'd call myself a bit of a loner as i only have 2 friends and theyre not even close they all like rock and im the total opposite so i'd say i dont have friends. On myspace i posted a bulletin saying "CANNOT WAIT UNTIL YEAR 10..NEW CLASSES AND NEW ...
A. 8 February 2007: Goodness, I don't miss those days. I know you say you have no friends but to be honest I think you're better off without these two utter cows messing with your head. You sound like you have quite low self confidence but there must be other people ... (read in full...)
How do I tactfully raise her perfume use with her... and what do you recommend?
Q. Two questions really. How do I tactfully tell my girlfriend that I really don't like the perfume she likes (it smells kinda strong and bitter)? She got some new stuff over Xmas that I adored and kept telling her how nice she smelt but she d...
A. 8 February 2007: Maybe she doesn't like the smell of vanilla. I know I don't. Is it really that bad? To be honest I think telling her you don't like it would offend her too badly so try to live with it if you can and if not buy her some perfume for valentines day. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is needy, jealous, overbearing, irrational, temperamental, possessive and a control freak but says she's NOT insecure!!!!
Q. Dear Cupid Imagine the most overbearing, needy, hyper-jealous, irrational, temperamental, possessive control-freak and thats my girlfriend. She's never been cheated on, I've been dead honest, but she has witnessed friends getting hurt. She believes...
A. 8 February 2007: Sounds like she doesn't know that relationships can't survive without trust. Are you sure you want to be with this girl? In that whole list of adjectives you used there wasn't one positive! You say yourself there's no reason for her to be needy so ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend prefers to masturbate than have sex with me any more!
Q. Hi Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 and a bit years now, and i love him very much, but.. at the start of our relationship we had sex every nite we spent together then it steadied off until it was once a week now we barely have sex a...
A. 8 February 2007: It sounds like he's got lazy about initiating sex. All guys masturbate, even the ones who are having sex three times a day. That's really not a big deal. With your boyfriend it sounds like he just can't be bothered to initiate sex. A lot of girls ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my wife's sex ban will drive a permanent wedge between us...
Q. My partner of 6 years and I recently split up. There were a couple of problems, sex (or lack of it) being a major cause of a lot of them. She wouldnt have sex with me for months at a time and I basically cracked and left her. We have had 3 kids ...
A. 8 February 2007: Sounds like your poor wife has had quite a rough time recently. I understand her wanting to avoid tablets since I've been trying to get the doctor off my back about taking them for years, but what about bereavement counselling? Or maybe you could ... (read in full...)
Are inter-racial relationships a bad thing?
Q. I am white and i have a black boyfriend is there ANYTHING wrong with that? ...
A. 8 February 2007: Absolutely not! If you like him and he likes you there's no problem whatsoever.
CD... (read in full...)
How can I make my feelings clear, without scaring her away?
Q. I went out a couple of times with a girl last year but our relationship did not become a sexual one. She has had emotional difficulties and has been in quite a bad way and for some months she did not want to go out with me. I thought it was over ...
A. 8 February 2007: Buy her a card and write something like this inside.
Dear X,
This card is to show you how much I care for you. I totally understand and respect the fact that you don't want to date so I'm not going to ask you again but I want you to tell me i... (read in full...)
How can I get more confidence to chat with boys?
Q. Hey x i am a 13yr old girl i hav been told by sum boys that i am quite pretty so its not my face thats annoyin me it my bludy confidnce (mind my language) for example: if there was a boy i liked me and he liked me back , if he came up to me to t...
A. 8 February 2007: The key to your problem is smiling. After all, consider yourself talking to a guy who just looks at you and doesn't say anything. If you smile you'll make the guy feel more comfortable. Conversation isn't difficult. Think of a few topics that all ... (read in full...)
He thinks that because I don't "moan" that I don't like it (sex).
Q. Me and my boyfriend have sex quiet a bit.. I enjoy it but i never have a orgasim .He dont believe me that i enjoy it because i dont Moan or anything either.. Is there something wrong with me? He thinks that if a girl dont moan than there is ...
A. 8 February 2007: Every girl is different during sex. Some moan, some scream bloody murder and some make no noise at all. Personally I always feel a bit silly making noise during sex unless it's instinctive and it tends to be directly related to orgasms if I do moan. ... (read in full...)
Is it true guys like hugs more than us girls?
Q. hey im 16 and have been with my boyfriend for about a month and a half now. well you know girls really like hugs from their boyfriends (and im one of them lol!) well is it true that boys like to cuddle their girlfriends more than their girlfrie...
A. 8 February 2007: Then lucky you! Not sure what the problem is. If there were more hugs in the world I swear there'd be less war and terrorism!
CD... (read in full...)
Are condoms still effective in water?
Q. I was just wondering if it was possible to be able to use condoms in water and to still be effective? could anyone help please? Thanks a lot...
A. 8 February 2007: They're not a great idea to be honest. Water can get in the small gap between the skin and the condom causing it to inflate and possibly burst. Like the other poster said it can also cause problems for your partner if water is forced up there since ... (read in full...)
Please help me to heal after my break up
Q. My affair of a year has just ended. I knew it wouldnt last forever since im married and had no plans to leave my husband but I also fell for this guy and hard. We have had such a connection on a deeper level and now he is moving on to try and star...
A. 8 February 2007: Focus not on the end of your affair but how lucky you are that your husband didn't find out. If he had you would have had to deal with all the hurt you caused. If you're not happy with your husband that's a completely separate issue to breaking up ... (read in full...)
What's my boyfriend playing at? One minute he loves me, now he wants to break up!!!
Q. My boyfriend of 17 months just told me he doesn't love me anymore, I am so confused. Just the weekend before we went to a party with his family and I was introduced as the future fiance! Then one night I come home and he says he doesn't want to ...
A. 8 February 2007: Okay how introduced you as the future fiancee? If it wasn't him (and that's the only way my theory works) maybe this comment made him a little commitment phobic and unsure about your future. However if it was him I totally understand why you would ... (read in full...)
Why bother going through the process of meeting new people when I could just date my best friend?
Q. ive known my crush for a good 4 years..within these 4 years our families have gotten really close. on the weekends i hang out with him and his friends and we all have a lot of fun at parties. his friends love me and they often call me from his phone ...
A. 7 February 2007: Right now he doesn't want to date. You could hang around and wait until he does want to date but you're so young and it seems silly to waste your time. Also, just a word of warning. I know you're going to read this and say "Well it wouldn't happen ... (read in full...)
Things were fine, then she broke up and wouldn't say why.... Why!?
Q. me and my ex were doing good and had many future plans, then at the click of the fingers she broke up with me. i asked her why and she wouldnt answer me truthfully. what should i do?...
A. 7 February 2007: She owes you an explanation. It's completely unfair what she's done to you because until you know what's going on you can't get closure. All I can do is echo what the other aunts and uncles have said, that you're better off without someone who can't ... (read in full...)
Becoming more than friends with an older lady... but scared because she's said in the past she likes guys who are well hung!
Q. I've been friends with this older lady friend of mine for three years. Even though the age gap is about seventeen years is doesnt matter as we get on so well. I've started to like her more than a mate and I'm getting signs that she's starting to be ...
A. 7 February 2007: Okay if it comes down to it and you say to a woman- small penis or large penis? i'm guessing the majority would pick the latter but relationships are about so much more than this. Would you reject a woman who was perfect in every way except that she ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I'm boring in bed!
Q. My boyfriend says he works too hard to try to get an orgasm when we have sex. Basically, he thinks I'm boring in bed. What can I do to keep his interest?...
A. 7 February 2007: It's a bit harsh of him to come out and say this although obviously you want to change your sexual style to please him. Ask him to help you, show you how he's like things done differently, but remember that you don't have to do anything you're not ... (read in full...)
I am now married but my feelings for him havent changed
Q. i have met with my ex boyfriend after not seing him for the past 8 years. even though now that i am married and have a child, my feelings for him havent changed. he's going through a divorce and we just met as old friends. i dont know what to do....
A. 7 February 2007: I think deep down you know that to pursue this man from your past would be wrong. You have a child now. Their happiness has to be your priority without question.
CD... (read in full...)
I love him but he has a gf! What can I do?
Q. I love, well..have strong feelings for this boy in college. I think he likes me to, but I'm not sure. Plus, he's got a girlfriend, but she lives in Hull and they only see each other once a year! What can I do? Please help!...
A. 7 February 2007: You can't do anything. He has a girlfriend. Imagine being the girl in Hull and knowing he was cheating on you. It's just not fair on her.
CD... (read in full...)
Do vitamins help with erection problems???
Q. Lately I have been having erection problems and I am only 25. I just started taking vitamins 3 days ago and they seem to be helping. Does anyone know what vitamin might be helping me? Or if a vitamin deficiency could cause something like this?...
A. 7 February 2007: Go and have a chat to someone in your local health foodshop. They have a list of vitamins and their intended effects.
CD... (read in full...)
Is it fair to spend the weekend out of town without her?
Q. Dear Cupid My girlfriend and I live in Colorado. I have good friends in north, central and south Florida, and California. I want to go visit them soon and would like to take my girlfriend with me to see most of them. But taking her with me to se...
A. 7 February 2007: Of course! Just because you're dating doesn't mean you should be joined at the hip. Time apart is healthy for both of you. Just tell her plenty of time before that you're going so she has some time to get used to the idea.
CD... (read in full...)
I know accountability is important but this seems too much!
Q. Dear Cupid My girlfriend used to demand I let her know first before I leave my building. A 5-minute drive to the post office, or a walk to the corner store would enrage her if I didn't let her know first. We made some progress and she tolerate...
A. 7 February 2007: Way further than this! She wants to control every one of your little movements. Do you tell her how long you spend on the toilet yet?
Seriously though, she has insecurity problems which is why she's being so funny about everything. I don't kn... (read in full...)
My ld gf goes to sports bars where guys may hit on her - do I have reason to be concerned?
Q. ive been in a relationship for 4 years with a girl i love so much. she feels the same about me. we are getting married in 8 monthes. she lives in calgary i live in pittsburgh and yea i know long distance relationships are hard. but we found a way to ...
A. 7 February 2007: She could be hit on by men when she goes to buy milk or in work or anywhere. What this comes down to is that you don't trust her, otherwise you wouldn't have a problem with it. Relationships without trust aren't worth anything. Are you sure you ... (read in full...)
When I try to break up with him he gets angry and upset! Guys - how would you want to be broken up with??
Q. I'm seeing this guy but I don't have any feelings for him anymore. I want to break up with him but I don't know how to because when I try to suggest breaking up he just gets angry and upset and then says 'lets talk about this some other time' Mayb...
A. 7 February 2007: Okay I'm not a guy but having been in this situation I decided to give you some advice anyway. You're not helping him by chickening out every time he says let's talk about it some other time. He's using this side of his personality to manipulate ... (read in full...)
My guy is choosing his son over me - now I'm thinking I won't attend his family get together!
Q. hi everyone... My boyfriend and I have been together over a year and next week end we are attending a family get together (his family) and we're all meeting up in a hotel for a few days which is great! The thing is he's bringing his son with him...
A. 7 February 2007: I'm not sure why there's all this fuss about you making your own way there and back. Aren't you invited to the theme park? Does his son not know the two of you are together? If he doesn't then it's about time he did. As fo the room thing I'm sorry ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance that I have a different STI than I did before? Or is it something else?
Q. Hi, im 17 and i think there is something wrong. there are two things that are worrying me. first of all i dont know if i have thrush or an STI or something. I have had sex without protection- i know its a bad thing to do but i make sure i do n...
A. 7 February 2007: There are two types of canesten cream- canesten for fungal infections like athlete's foot and canesten for thrush. Read the instructions on yours and see which one you've got. If you're still not feeling right down there go back to the clinic since ... (read in full...)
We are like a couple, but he doesn't want our friendship to progress into a relationship b/c I cheated on him the last time. Am I wasting my time w/ him?
Q. Hi please could you help,Im confused. This time last year I met a great guy and we were together for about 4 months. Unfortunately I was unfaithful to him and he found out about this, I keep on asking myself why I cheated but I dont know why beca...
A. 7 February 2007: He still feels betrayed from last time and isn't sure if he wants to risk getting hurt by you again. Being his friend is probably the best thing you can do right now because you're building up that trust again. Whether you'll ever get back to where ... (read in full...)
Am I too sensitive?
Q. hello everyone, I have a problem with my boyfriend of 10 months, he can't seem to take me seriously. Recently he started picking on me Again and i couldn't take it and started yelling at him to leave me alone and stop being annoying. Basicall...
A. 6 February 2007: When you say he picks on you do you mean in a nasty way or in an affectionate teasing way? Can you give me an example? If it's the latter then you are being too sensitive. Maybe you're not used to being teased and you can't deal with it now that ... (read in full...)
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