A
female
age
30-35,
*miffy121
writes:i got a bit of a problem, me an my bf have been together nearly 2 years now an i am totaly in love with him but in september he joined the army and im finding it hard to get used to not spending time with him or havin any kisses or cuddles and when i rose the question if given a choice between the army an me he chose the army. now am i been stupid by askin the question or should i be annoyed because the army comes first to him? help please Reply to this Question
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female
reader, smiffy121 +, writes (7 February 2007):
smiffy121 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you all everything you have said has really been helpful i have been stupid to make him choose it wasnt fair an i see that now i just hope he will forgive me but thank you for your advice :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2007): I can understand that you miss him, but being upset that he chose the army over you is a bit immature. If all the men that joined the army left because their girlfriend or wife made them choose, then our country wouldn't have freedom. You should be proud that your boyfriend is in the army and he really needs your support right now. It's alot more lonely for him than for you...you're still able to see your family all the time, he can't. It is an honorable and incredibly respectful thing he is doing to serve his country. When you are older, you will appreciate the fact that he and so many other men and women continue to fight for our freedom.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007): sorry hun, i understand its lonely and hard being apart from a partner. but think of it from his point of view, hes lonely,apart from you as well as not being able to live a normal life and could get sent to some really horrid places to boot.
once youve joined the army thats it, the government own you for a minimum of 3 years (i think thats the shortest uk term). hes there for the long haul.
your choices are, to come to terms with this and support him (and if hes sent to war he'll need that support) or you tell him you cant face being a soldiers partner and move on.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (6 February 2007):
 I don't think he can just leave the army. Once you join you have to stay for a certain period of time. Right now will be a hard time to carry on your relationship but don't try and make him pick between you and his dream. It's not fair and I'm guessing you wouldn't be thrilled if he did the same to you. Try and be supportive. If he eventually gets stationed to a far away dangerous place he's going to need your support. If you don't think you can give that maybe you need to think about whether you still want to be in this relationship.
CD
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