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Why do men bed you and then tell you...they have a gf?

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 10 February 2007)
A female Spain, *strid writes:

Why do men lie to women and try to take them to bed you refuse and then they tell you they have a girlfriend and that they did not want anything but to be friends and then their upset girlfriend answers their phone when you phone to tell this guy not to contact you again pretending you've been prosecuting him when u have not and adds it's ok if we, the boy and I, meet sometime as friends???? why the hell did I told her I did not want to see him or why did I gave any explanations??? I think I need some help to completely forget about this mother f***** and company any tips???

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007):

Hi there luv. My ex wove a similar spell around me after we had broken up. I went to visit him in the town he had moved to and it was all very lovey dovey and then he conveniently brings up the girlfriend. He also fabricated some lies but I lived and learned from it and am so glad that she has to deal with him now. I have met a man who is of my calibre and you will too...think no more about it and get on out there and LIVE.

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A female reader, Astrid Spain +, writes (9 February 2007):

Astrid is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Astrid agony auntthanks for your nice answers I know there must be some lovely guy out there who's right for me and doesn't mind about waiting but it gets hard to find these bstards on the way that can only turn my spirits low

thanks to u all

love

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (7 February 2007):

Yos agony auntMen lie to women to get sex. He didn't tell you he had a girlfriend because he knew that if he told you the truth he'd have no chance of getting into your pants. Once he had sex with you, he likely would have not seen you again afterwards and just gone back to his girlfriend. The thing about these kinds of guys is that they almost always just want some casual sex, and are not looking for a real relationship. But they know that girls are usually looking for a relationship, so promise this in exchange for sex.

Plenty of men do this, but not all. The hard bit it telling the difference between them. And the way to do this is to spend enough time with them before starting anything... that's one reason (there are many) why sleeping with people on a first date or early on often ends up in trouble.

It sounds like you're approaching this the right way, saying you wanted to get to know him better first. And its good that you did by the sounds of it :) Stick to doing that and you'll do fine. If someone really does like you they'll be willing to wait a while and get to know you first, if they just want sex then they'll get impatient and leave. Which is what you want.

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A female reader, Astrid Spain +, writes (7 February 2007):

Astrid is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Astrid agony auntWell the fact is I did not go to bed though I was quite tempted I told him I'd rather know him better that's why he started to get nervous and in the end confessed he hada a girlfriend as insisted we could be friends so I that I told him about my things and do on but I refused after a drink with he an my friends where he turned up so happy doing as if he cared so much that they all flipped as they knew about the story, thanks to u all I'll try to be more protective and yes I'm worried and scared

thanks your all lovely

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2007):

Cuz we're all bastards. We should have our own planet. Oh wait, we do... We all came from Mars supposedly according to one rather bold author...

Didn't you address this issue or a similar issue not too long ago? I take it you didn't quite follow that advice... Ah well.

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A male reader, agony_uncle_r United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2007):

firstly, id like to say on behalf of men. not all of us are like that. some of us are good guys that get bad reputations because of a few bad guys.

it seems you need to screen your men a bit better and if the psycho gf comes after you, just point out its his issue not yours

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2007):

cd206 agony auntIt sounds like you've been hit by the user curse. Not all guys are like this but in some places in the world there exist a small group of men whose aim is to mess with as many people's heads as possible by sleeping with them and then going back to their original girlfriend. It's okay to be angry and confused about this but I'd just put it down to experience and be abit more cautious in future about how much you know about someone before you have sex.

CD

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007):

maybe because your worried or scared.

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