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He masturbates every morning before work...is this normal in along term relationship?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2007)
A female Canada age 36-40, *ristinsmith writes:

my boyfriend masterbates in the morning before work? i feel that i don't satifiy him and i also feel rejected? should I feel this way or is it normal to masterbate in a relatonship Please help this is destroying our relationship of 5 years.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007):

I have a similiar problem. My boyfriend occassionally masterbates--which I don't mind-- but I wish that he would be more respectful of my feelings. I masterbate in private but he does it in the bedroom when he thinks that I'm sleeping. I am awaken from my sleep when he watches his loud pornos and I hear the friction from his hand and penis. My mom told me that masturbation is natural but if that's true, why do I feel so inadequate?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2007):

If you're offended, then coming here won't help you solve your emotions. We tried giving you perspective, but you gladly try to dissolve our comments. What more can we say? Would you rather we scold your bf, and say he should do this and that, and that you are totally in the right? If you did, this isn't the place to do it.

He masturbates. If you don't like, talk to him. If he doesn't stop. You can A) compromise, B) leave his ass, or C) masturbate with him or D) have sex with him.

Example: I have a sex drive that is monstrous even compared to some of the horniest men my mate(s) has ever been with. Now, for her to ever try to keep up with my horniness, would be a huge effort on her part no doubt. So somtimes, I catch myself masturbating right next to her, and in the moments she wish to do it right then and there, fantastic. Otherwise, it would really suck to have a headache all morning, all day during work, and until night, to see whether she is in the mood or not. [sighs]

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007):

most men masturbate, in fact almost all. the fact that we almost always wake up with 'morning wood' just makes that a good time of day to get rid of the 'pent up' feeling befor we start our day.

i had much the same situation with my lady, she was never in the mood early in the day, especially not twice a day 7 days a week (im a teen). only wen i slept in wake did she wake me in the best way poss :)

its not a reflection on you at all, just let him get on with it, unless your willing to wake up befor him every day n helping him out.

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A male reader, Blue Rat United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2007):

All guys masturbate to some extent, even within a happy and sexually fulfilling relationship, so there's nothing untoward in that. The other answers posted all make good points and offer sound observations. But from a bloke's perspective, and speaking as one not unfamiliar with the joys of solo sex, I still think every morning is overdoing it a bit. Blimey!

There's got to be something missing in your sex-life together. Which doesn't mean it's your fault, or his fault, or a question of blame at all, but you really should talk to each other about this. It's amazing what you can find out about each other's wants and desires if you're both prepared to take a deep breath, be brave, and be honest. Even if you've been together a long time. Or perhaps especially if you've been together a long time.

Sex should be fun. So good luck, and have some fun!

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2007):

cd206 agony auntI really don't think this is a big issue. Most men masturbate several times a day even when they're in a regular relationship just because you're not always there and even if you were you probably wouldn't be up for sex 7 times a day! If it really bothers you maybe next time he does it you could offer to give him a hand?

CD

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A female reader, kristinsmith Canada +, writes (6 February 2007):

kristinsmith is verified as being by the original poster of the question

BUT I AM OFFEN THAT HE WANTS MASTERBATE RATHER THEN WAIT OR TRY WITH ME

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007):

Most men wake up in the morning with an erection, so I suppose he takes advantage of that. It's quicker than having sex, especially when he's on his way to work. The only thing you could try is waking him up earlier and hopping on it yourself.But then he may expect that from you every morning. Maybe he has approached you for sex in the mornings in the past and you've felt tired and he felt rejected when you refused. Yes it's very normal for men to do this even when in a relationship. I caught my husband doing it next to me when he thought I was asleep, so I pretended to be asleep and let him get on with it.I wasn't in the mood for sex becuase I'd been awake all night with the baby.

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2007):

AskEve agony auntI'll think you'll find that every male masterbates, it's perfectly normal and healthy, how much they masterbate is a matter of preference. Just because he does this doesn't mean he feels any less for you, it's just a way of releasing tension in them and sometimes they find it easier and quicker to do it themselves and then get on with the day.

If he was to do it excessively and PREFER to masterbate than make love to you then I would say there is a problem but if your sex life is frequent and loving then I'd say you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Eve

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A female reader, Pretty and proud United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2007):

Pretty and proud agony auntsome people enjoy masturbating, this doesnt mean your not good enough for him, i know it sounds silly but some people masturbate for comfort. if you are still unsure about this try new things in the bedroom (new underwear, sex positions etc.) i hope ive helped xx

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