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Since his Mother passed away, my husband wants a new baby. I'm not sure if I can handle this! What should I do?

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Question - (6 February 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, *atient1 writes:

My husbands mother died 1 week ago today. He is getting better but he is naturally very emotional. I have been there to support him every step of the way and I will continue to do so. Ever since his mother passed away he has been trying to talk me into having another baby. I know this might be somewhat of a natural reaction due to his emotional state, maybe he feels that it will fill the empty space that has been taken from his life. We have 2 boys now who are 5 and 3 years old and I love them dearly but it's not easy by any means. I just don't think I'm ready for another child financially, spiritually, mentally or physically, but I don't want to deny my husband of anything, especially now. Please share your thoughts and ideas. Thanks in advance.

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2007):

cd206 agony auntI think you're right. He just wants to plug the hole left by his mother in his life. Tell him you want to spend some time coming to terms with things first before you jump into a big decision like having a baby but that you're willing to talk about it in six months. By that time you might have come round to the idea and even if you haven't all you have to do is explain to your husband that you don't feel ready for another baby. Even if you're at the upper end of the age bracket you still have another five years or so to have another baby if you so choose. A lot can change in that time.


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A female reader, mel_22 United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2007):

mel_22 agony auntHave you discussed this with your husband? Naturally you dont want to deny him of anything especially in his hour of need but dont be pressured into having a baby just because of this. It is hard I know and has to be dealt with carefully but if you give in you could end up resenting him for it

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