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... Send *unty Babbit a private message | | | *unty Babbit's profile:I was a nurse and midwife for 20 years, I am a mother of 2 children and have a stepchild. All are now adults OMG!
I am very happily married, second time round.
My husband has suffered depression (not caused by me lol) and we have luckily come through that.
I have often mediated for friends during breakups and am regularly asked for advice on all things in general.
I have a lot of friends and when I'm not working (in bereavement)I write my own books of poetry for children and illustrate them as well |
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How do I respark his interest in our sex life?
Q. So we have been together for 5 years. In the last two months, the thought of his mouth being on me in any way has become disgusting because he has begun dipping (which I have made clear that I absolutely despise.) He told me today on the phone when ...
A. 18 October 2013: Ok you've stumped me! I've heard of "double dipping" but not this, is it the same thing as "rimming"?
And there was me thinking I'd pretty much heard it all over the years, well it goes to prove you learn something new every day! :)
What yo... (read in full...)
I´d like to have an oppinion on this guilt manipulation that I am sure about.Thanks.
Q. 10 years of marriage and I always though my husband was the most amazing,wonderful, caring, and fair person on the face of this planet. I see know how blind I was,but in a way I was happy. For 4 years now I am dealing with depression because I lost ...
A. 18 October 2013: It seems to me that your husband wants a mother or a nursemaid NOT a wife!
He hasn't said he misses YOU and that he loves YOU he's saying he misses you being IN the house, caring for him, washing his clothes, cooking his meals and doing his shop... (read in full...)
Before this relationship I was confident and secure
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about a year now. She has had a lot of unhealthy tendencies that have reared their head in our relationship since I am her first significant relationship and she is realizing some of her unhealthy behavior patterns. ...
A. 18 October 2013: This is only my opinion but I wonder if your girlfriend felt insecure, that she had possibly come from a controlling relationship, and has been continually "testing" your relationship and you for proof that it was strong and that she was in control. ... (read in full...)
In love with my married best friend, should I leave?
Q. Hi I am in a bit of a pickle. To be brief, I fell in love with my best friend. He is a married man with two children, he is in love with me too and we had an emotional affair. Nothing physical has happened between us. We are just agreeing to be b...
A. 18 October 2013: You two have developed a very close emotional bond, you may not have had sex together but if this guy was my husband I'd feel cheated on.
You say you have had an emotional affair! In other words you talk about what you would like to do with eac... (read in full...)
I really like him but don't know how to approach him
Q. Hi, All I rely need your advice on a person whom I have a sight love. Here is the case, I use to have BF before and he betrayed me since then I do not have BF even when boys ask me to be their lover one I run away from them, the past makes me to...
A. 18 October 2013: Find an opportunity to speak to him alone and congratulate him on his new job. Ask him about it. Tell him you will miss his friendly smile and seeing him in the mornings.
If he responds warmly (albeit shyly) ask him if he would like to have a c... (read in full...)
I feel like she's trying to come between us
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship (2hrs drive away) not that far but I can't see him as much as I wanted. I am pretty certain that one of his female colleague whom I also know, likes him. We use to work together, even when I was ...
A. 18 October 2013: LDR's are very hard and without trust you have nothing.
Look, you've mentioned your concerns to him so he knows you think this girl likes him and you feel threatened by her.
He might not agree with you but he should understand and respect your... (read in full...)
Am I using one girl to make another girl jealous?
Q. Hi. I need some advice. My situation is a bit complex and I have to explain it in detail in order for you to understand what my problem is. I'm originally from Azerbaijan and currently studying in the U.K. I've been here for 8 months. Initi...
A. 17 October 2013: You haven't made a commitment to either A or S so you're not in a "relationship" with either so you can do what you like really!
Mind you, what I don't understand, is that despite really liking S you haven't talked to her about the way she beha... (read in full...)
Are girls turned off by an ugly penis??
Q. I used to masturbate very much, and this caused my penis to have some dark spots on it. Because Iam tan, it appeared that the spots are post inflammatory hyperpigmentaion. Iam virgin, but had oral sex couples times before it happened. My question ...
A. 17 October 2013: I'm not overly convinced masturbation was the cause of this condition, more obvious cause would be acne, eczema or psoriasis.
It's well worth seeing your doctor (if you haven't) because there are treatments available that can reduce the pigmenta... (read in full...)
I want to show him how much he means to me.
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years now, when I met him maybe i should have stayed single as I had loads of problems in my personal life but we got on really well and he made me feel better. Well things got even worse for me, I had ...
A. 17 October 2013: This lovely guy is a true friend and is supporting you because he wants to help and believes in you.
You've been through a tough time but your response to all these horrible and worrying events has been to self destruct.
Stop hurting yourself... (read in full...)
If you tell your lover what you need and they don't even make an effort to hear you is it time to leave?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years is not demonstrative about his feelings for me. I like getting the occasional text or phone call, especially when I am ill or he knows I am having a tough time. I have tried calmly telling him how I feel. That intimacy to...
A. 15 October 2013: Personally I'm not bothered about flowers and things, I never have been.
But I do like my husband to demonstrate that he loves me.
I don't need texts or phone calls but I do notice the little things such as,
In the icy winter mornings he'l... (read in full...)
I don't understand why he would act like this!
Q. Now this is a very aching story in my life. It is a 1 -year story so Its going to be a bit long, sorry for that. Please help me, give me some advise, cuz I really don't know what I did. Why they started hating me!! ?? I lost a friend (a brother)...
A. 15 October 2013: Your "brother" is NOT your brother or even a true friend!
This guy has no friends for a very good reason!
He is a controlling, manipulative and obsessive!
For goodness sake, read your own letter to us!
This guy has used you complet... (read in full...)
He's lost all hope of getting a job in the next placement drive!
Q. I am an engineering student currently in my final year of graduation. As such, placement drives of various firms are going on in my institution. Fortunately or unfortunately, I got placed in a leading fir in the first drive itself. But my boyfriend ...
A. 15 October 2013: Thank you for your reply :)
I can totally relate to what your saying about YOU not being able to concentrate and how you feel helpless.
The partner of someone suffering with depression struggles on a daily basis too but very often their need... (read in full...)
I have 3 kids, he has no kid experience, is there an answer to family harmony?
Q. My fiancé never had kids and I have 3 teenagers. Although we've been dating 3 years, I don't think he's really ready to be a step dad. I have them part time but some days when they're all being less than perfect, I can tell its a bit much for him ...
A. 14 October 2013: I have 3 children, one of which is my step son. They are all teenagers.
When my husband and I first started dating, he found it very difficult to be around my children when his son wasn't there because he felt guilty, on those occasions, that he ... (read in full...)
Why does he suddenly seem distant?
Q. Why does he suddenly seem distant? I've been chatting with an old high school friend for about 4 months. We've been talking everyday (facebook, skype, phone, etc) and it was pretty intense-talking about the future, him telling me he misses me, al...
A. 14 October 2013: I don't think your being needy by asking him if everything's ok or if anything has changed.
You last saw this guy when you were in high school and have been talking for a few months and have both built his visit up into something super romantic... (read in full...)
He's lost all hope of getting a job in the next placement drive!
Q. I am an engineering student currently in my final year of graduation. As such, placement drives of various firms are going on in my institution. Fortunately or unfortunately, I got placed in a leading fir in the first drive itself. But my boyfriend ...
A. 14 October 2013: He's depressed, you can't get him out of this situation.
We all get down in the dumps sometimes but when someone is truly depressed they'll have difficulty concentrating, focusing and recalling information.
Stop pushing him to attend these dri... (read in full...)
I'm confused as to whether or not he likes me as more than a friend?
Q. So confused. A co-worker who transferred from one of our global and I have become very good friends over the past year. His wife was supposed to transfer as well to the us but they ultimately separated and are in the process of divorcing. A mo...
A. 14 October 2013: He clearly likes you but you told him you didn't want to be his rebound relationship!
Would you like to have a relationship with him at some point? Do you only want friendship? You don't say.
He might not fancy dating other woman when he ha... (read in full...)
Why did he treat me so badly when all I ever did was love him? He treats his new girlfriend much better than he did me!
Q. I'm 20 years old.. I have only been with one man and that was from the age of 13... However over the years the man I was with for seven years didn't treat me very well... Put me down, took a lot of my money, cheated, broken my finger etc but he was ...
A. 13 October 2013: Thank you for your response, I was concerned he was much older so am relieved he's your age :)
The other Uncles and Aunties are right. No one knew he treated you badly or they would have stepped in, guys like him are clever at concealing their tr... (read in full...)
He treated me badly so why do I feel guilty for letting him go?
Q. I have been seeing a man for 5 months now. The last two months have been especially stressful. He has subjected me to the "silent treatment" for over a month and just recently started cursing towards me. On Thursday I was trying to text h...
A. 13 October 2013: You HAVE been abused but your free of him now and you should be proud of yourself for standing up to him.
Take some time to recover from this but never speak to him again and thank your lucky stars he's out of your life.
His behaviour was ap... (read in full...)
How to discuss family asset's without upsetting anyone?
Q. So my husband and I are not really having a problem so much as just needing advice, words of wisdom, etc. I was having lunch with my husband and his brother's girlfriend who is 4 months pregnant with his brother's child (obviously). My ...
A. 13 October 2013: It makes no difference that you are married to his son or that this woman is having his other sons child.
Your FIL has made a will and a decent lawyer will make sure that the contents of that will are carried out to the letter.
I am a funera... (read in full...)
My partner is reluctant to start a family, what should I do?
Q. I recently posted about moving countries. I've moved countries and been with my partner for over a year and a half. He seems reluctant to start a family but i really want too! we've been arguing and mostly he's been silent. What should I do? I've ...
A. 13 October 2013: Thank you for your response, my darling.
I feel so sad for you.
It's a huge thing to move to a new country to be with the person you love but this is not the happy ending you no doubt thought it would be.
If he's not feeling any chemistry th... (read in full...)
Why is my ex making such awkward conversation?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend almost four months ago (I was the dumper). Since then he's gone through all the motions of telling me to never contact him again, at least twice. Each time he's been back contacting me within two weeks. In this time, I'...
A. 13 October 2013: Honeypie is right, he's missing you and trying to get you to respond to him.
You had your reasons for ending this relationship and should be concentrating on your life now.
He needs to start getting over this too but won't be able too all the... (read in full...)
I think I might have caught him in a lie ...
Q. This will probably sound ridiculous but I need opinions! My partner and I have been happy together for 3 years. Last night he gave me a lift to a friends house for some drinks and as we were in the car I noticed his car ticked over to 10,000 miles ...
A. 13 October 2013: Cars do not just add miles on for no good reason unless the milometer is faulty.
When you asked him what he did last night, his answer was too detailed and sounded defensive.
An innocent man would have said "Home, why?" He gave you a detailed a... (read in full...)
I feel like there's competition and I'll never be good enough for my boyfriend.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have a mutual friend who is really slim, pretty and fun. I've known her all my life and my boyfriend met her through high school. Last week I was in an awful mood and all I wanted was for him to come and see me so I text him...
A. 13 October 2013: I meant to say in the third sentence from the end that being slim and pretty DOES NOT make someone better than someone else.
So passionate about your plight I typo'd :)
Love AB x... (read in full...)
I am confused after meeting this guy on holiday
Q. I don't really know where to start if I'm honest, I met a guy on my holiday. He is from Wales and I'm from England, so we are 3 and a bit hours away on a train from one another. He has been a self confessed man whore in his past after sleeping with ...
A. 13 October 2013: Ok, I've read your letter and spent some time thinking about it and I can only come to two conclusions about this guy.
The first is that this guy is very inexperienced and about as much of "man whore" as Cliff Richard!
He certainly doesn'... (read in full...)
How would a relationship go with this Zodiac pairing?
Q. Okay, so for those good with Zodiac signs, how would a relationship go between this pairing? Me (female): Leo Sun, Capricorn Moon, Gemini rising Him: Libra Sun, Scorpio Moon, Sagittarius (or Aquarius, I haven't double checked.)rising I'm c...
A. 13 October 2013: I don't tend to use astrology for direction in my answers and wouldn't know enough about it to advise you.
But I do believe if this relationship is great and feels right for both of you, then go with it.
If you seriously feel you need confirm... (read in full...)
I feel like there's competition and I'll never be good enough for my boyfriend.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have a mutual friend who is really slim, pretty and fun. I've known her all my life and my boyfriend met her through high school. Last week I was in an awful mood and all I wanted was for him to come and see me so I text him...
A. 13 October 2013: Stop thinking less of yourself just because you perceive someone to prettier, thinner or funnier than you.
Respect yourself and appreciate who you are.
Sorry but janniepeg is right, you really need to look at your choice of boyfriend.
I'... (read in full...)
How can I recover from this love-sickness?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me three months ago. Since then, my life has started to be absolutely nonsense, I spent my days watching the time passing by, and fell into a deep depression. I have started university almost a month ago, still I don't ...
A. 13 October 2013: There is no magic wand that can be waved to cure this, it's horrible to experience and it takes time to get over.
Don't even think about moving on and getting another guy yet because you're not ready.
Keeping busy does help but it's importa... (read in full...)
My partner is reluctant to start a family, what should I do?
Q. I recently posted about moving countries. I've moved countries and been with my partner for over a year and a half. He seems reluctant to start a family but i really want too! we've been arguing and mostly he's been silent. What should I do? I've ...
A. 13 October 2013: This is a difficult one.
There's very little detail to go on.
Have you moved country to be with your boyfriend? Are you living with him now?
You say he isn't interested in sex yet, does he say why?
I don't know your exact age but between ... (read in full...)
My partner is reluctant to start a family, what should I do?
Q. I recently posted about moving countries. I've moved countries and been with my partner for over a year and a half. He seems reluctant to start a family but i really want too! we've been arguing and mostly he's been silent. What should I do? I've ...
A. 13 October 2013: This is a difficult one.
There's very little detail to go on.
Have you moved country to be with your boyfriend? Are you living with him now?
You say he isn't interested in sex yet, does he say why?
I don't know your exact age but between ... (read in full...)
Things seem weird and off with my boyfriend. Am I over thinking things?
Q. My boyfriend's been really weird and off with me for the past week. I see him every weekend and sometimes a few days during the week when we have time. We usually text everyday for most of the day, (though we're not one of those lovey dovey couples) ...
A. 13 October 2013: How on earth has this guy "proved himself" to you?
You say he was promiscuous and it took a few months to prove to you that he was different. He took you out on dates and tried hard to win you over.
I'm sorry but from my perspective, you... (read in full...)
Should I go to the doctor to prove I am NOT mentally ill?
Q. I have posted on here before about my situation. Abusive ex, left our son in wet clothes, we had a row about it, then he said he never wanted anymore contact, now he has changed his mind, and I have said no, as I want supervised visits, so now he w...
A. 13 October 2013: Honeypie is right on the money.
Your ex would have to be the one to prove you mentally unfit. NOT YOU. Don't be an idiot and play into his hands.
You still haven't even heard from his solicitor.
My guess is that you won't because he's just ... (read in full...)
Can you sue someone for giving you an STD?
Q. Can you sue someone for giving you an STD? My ex boyfriend has contacted me, to say that he recently ejaculated blood and that if he has an STD he will be suing me. I haven't had a check-up for a few months, but last time I went to the doctors ...
A. 13 October 2013: I think it's unlikely that your boyfriend could possibly sue you for an STD because, think about it calmly, he would have to prove, beyond ALL reasonable doubt that;
1) You have the same STD strain.
2) He contracted it from you.
3) He had ... (read in full...)
He treated me badly so why do I feel guilty for letting him go?
Q. I have been seeing a man for 5 months now. The last two months have been especially stressful. He has subjected me to the "silent treatment" for over a month and just recently started cursing towards me. On Thursday I was trying to text h...
A. 13 October 2013: You feel guilty because you're a nice person but you have nothing to feel guilty about. He's treated you like dirt and all you've done is stand up for yourself.
My gut feeling, reading your letter and this man's reactions to you, is that this man... (read in full...)
We broke up but I miss his kids!
Q. Please help me :( I hate the way I feel. I finished with my ex a few months ago because he took me for granted too much. (Money , never spending time with him, being left on my own all the time) with him and he had kids from a previous relatio...
A. 13 October 2013: I don't think that no one cares, you say you put on a brave face, so my guess is nobody knows how you are feeling. How can people show you compassion, empathy and support if they are unaware that there is a problem.
With regards to this guy, you... (read in full...)
LDR talking only 1 hour a week on the phone isn't enough for me!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year. Things were great and I've fallen deeply in love with him. We met on holiday and decided to have a long distance relationship where we would see each other every 1-2 weeks for about a week. ...
A. 13 October 2013: I know you want everything to be ok but I can't tell you that.
You had a lovely holiday romance with your bf, it was no doubt exciting, romantic and perhaps a little erotic.
You guys kept it going in an LDR which is nice but it's not the sam... (read in full...)
Why did he treat me so badly when all I ever did was love him? He treats his new girlfriend much better than he did me!
Q. I'm 20 years old.. I have only been with one man and that was from the age of 13... However over the years the man I was with for seven years didn't treat me very well... Put me down, took a lot of my money, cheated, broken my finger etc but he was ...
A. 13 October 2013: You say you were 13 when this relationship started, honey, can I please ask how old he was or is?
It will help me put his actions into perspective.
Many thanks AB x... (read in full...)
LDR going sour..how do I keep her?
Q. I am hopelessly,helplessly,head over heels in love with a beautiful gorgeous doctor! We have been dating for 6 months now the last couple of months have been LDR but I make sure I see her every 2 weeks(I have been trying)..she's a nice and kind hea...
A. 13 October 2013: I don't think your gorgeous doctor is as "in to you" as you are her I'm afraid.
She's clearly a strong personality and comes across in your letter as a little demanding and emotionally high maintenance.
You haven't been together very lo... (read in full...)
Confused about what my Ex wants from me...
Q. I dated what seemed to be a great guy for 3 months. Very good to me. He chased me, called / texted daily. He had been heart broken due to his fiancé leaving him for another man months before. He was honest about all that and was trying to move on. ...
A. 12 October 2013: I don't think he's a player and I don't think he's using you.
I think his ex really hurt him and he's really confused.
I think he probably really likes you and he's already said he's attracted to you but it's too soon emotionally for ... (read in full...)
If I cheated does that mean I don't love my g/f?
Q. If I've cheated on my girlfriend with the same girl, 4 times now. Does this mean I don't love her? Im so confused. Ive been with my girlfriend for 8 months. Yet met a girl in May, became really good friends really quick. There was chemistry be...
A. 12 October 2013: Either you're the same OP as the other letters posted on here regarding this same situation or we now have the boyfriend!
The first letter was about this exact situation but from the other woman.
The second was from an "alleged" best f... (read in full...)
Should I ask my ex to our son's birthday outing?
Q. Should I ask my ex to our son's birthday outing? We haven't been getting on at all lately, infact that is an understatement. He doesn't see his son much anyway, through his own choice. I don't particularly want him there, but this is...
A. 12 October 2013: Been there, done that :)
Great advice from Aunty Em by the way.
I agree, why not ask your ex (if you know it would make your boy happy)
I would suggest you don't tell your boy, even if your ex says he'll come, just in case he doesn't show.... (read in full...)
My friend has a perfect girlfriend yet cheated several times. He needs advice what to do now.
Q. One of my best friends is with a girl and has been since Feb. The girl went away travelling over the summer but they stayed together, despite only being together a few months at this point. Anyway my best mate fell for a girl at work, whilst his gf ...
A. 12 October 2013: Thanks Daisy, do you know, I was thinking the self same thing? :)
OP What do you expect us to say to you?
Your friend's girlfriend was away and he played the field. You say he felt guilty, well clearly not that much because he kept sleeping wi... (read in full...)
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