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... Send *unty Babbit a private message | | | *unty Babbit's profile:I was a nurse and midwife for 20 years, I am a mother of 2 children and have a stepchild. All are now adults OMG!
I am very happily married, second time round.
My husband has suffered depression (not caused by me lol) and we have luckily come through that.
I have often mediated for friends during breakups and am regularly asked for advice on all things in general.
I have a lot of friends and when I'm not working (in bereavement)I write my own books of poetry for children and illustrate them as well |
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I like my friend but she has a boyfriend. Want to end this friendship but don't want to regret it.
Q. Hi, so kind of a long question here. So a while ago I ended up telling one of my friends that I liked her as more than a friend and that I had very strong feelings for her. Anyway she was super cool about it but said that she only saw me as a ...
A. 29 August 2013: It's such a shame for you that your friend doesn't see you in the same way. All the while you hang out together, though, I can't see this situation improving for you (unless you meet someone else) but I don't see why you have to cut her out of y... (read in full...)
I love him but I'm feeling suffocated
Q. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 6 months! I've not been happy for about a month as we work together and spend all out free time together, it's getting a bit full on, I haven't seen the girls for ages and he makes me feel bad...
A. 29 August 2013: You've only been going out 6 months, that's not forever. You live with your mum and want to move out, that's cool and very understandable for a woman your age. He says you "won't want him when you do", well you don't want him now, you ended it... (read in full...)
Am I right in thinking I should be cautious about marrying him?
Q. Hi. I have just found out my boyfriend has court judgements. (Not sure of the term) for unpaid bills. He says his ex wife named him as liable as the expenses were for his child, and he says he never received the bills until it ended up as a legal ...
A. 29 August 2013: CCJ's or county court judgements don't just happen without a person's prior knowledge. Someone being in debt isn't necessarily a reason not to marry them if they are honest, reliable, hard working and responsible. My concern is to the secrecy o... (read in full...)
I'm a 22 year old virgin, trying to understand and deal with it!
Q. Hi all, I'm 22 and I'm still a virgin. To be honest, it doesn't bother me. It is what it is. I don't believe in sleeping around or getting to know someone for the purpose of sex like most people my age seem to do. I mean, sure there are people w...
A. 29 August 2013: I think you're over thinking this. Sex can be a wonderful thing, yes but (in my experience) is best when shared with someone you have strong feelings for. This isn't the case for everyone but I can only speak from my experience. It really... (read in full...)
I really don't know whether to have this baby or not?
Q. In need of some advice. Will try and make it as brief as i can. I have had terrible luck Relationship wise all my life. I dont ask for much or expect much. my last relationship i had been in was with a very troubled person for the last 5 years. ...
A. 27 August 2013: Firstly the man you do or don't want to be with is now no longer a priority I'm afraid. This baby is. So, you have decide do you want it? If the answer is yes then you need to ensure that you take really good care of yourself and see your GP etc ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I'm in the right relationship. How do you know?
Q. How do you know if you're in the right relationship? Is there really a "right" relationship, or is it all about finding someone who is "mostly" what you want and then working really hard at the relationship to make it last? I'm not trying to ch...
A. 27 August 2013: Trust is a fundamental element in any relationship but he has clearly given cause to mistrust him so why are blaming yourself for your "trust" issues.
It is your b/f's role to support you and earn your trust.
Things don't have to be perfect fo... (read in full...)
His behaviour has changed and he insults me now
Q. Hello! I'm really hoping someone can shed some light on this for me. I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months now and at first he seemed like such a gent, hence the reason I wanted to be with him! Anyway, there's been a few peculiar happ...
A. 27 August 2013: This is how domestic abuse starts.
The abuser starts by making small insulting comments to their victim about friends, previous relationships, their clothes etc.
This behaviour escalates as the victims self esteem plummets.
The victim soon... (read in full...)
My wife came back to me after an affair but she's pregnant and I don't know if it's mine
Q. My wife left me for another man last year, she was carrying this hidden affair for a while. I was clueless or chose to be blind about it. She broke my heart because I really do love her, I tried really hard to get her to come back and she did. She ...
A. 27 August 2013: Your wife left you for another man a year ago.
She finds herself pregnant, it could be his or yours.
Do you not think it's strange that she returns to you when she's pregnant? Does the other guy know? does he not want it? If he doesn't know are... (read in full...)
I've made out with him a couple of times and he wants to see me again, but I've realised I don't have any romantic feelings for him
Q. Hi, I'm in a bit of a tight spot here. My friend met this guy at a party we went to a couple of days ago, and somehow he ended up at our place afterwards. Apparantly he didn't fancy my friend after all, and neither did she, so she went to bed, ...
A. 26 August 2013: Tell him the truth, that he's a really nice guy but that you have no romantic feelings for him.
You are clearly a sweet and sensitive young lady but you must be true to your feelings and follow your heart.
Don't lead him on by seeing him again... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon?
Q. Dear Cupid! I've been dating my best friend for a two weeks now. We have been friends over a 6 years and now it finally became real relationship. He's 23, I'm 21 and we are crazy about each other. The thing is, I'm a virgin and he is not. In...
A. 26 August 2013: My mother gave me a piece of advice that I shall pass on to you (because it was really good). When it's right, it's right! If you have to ask the question "should I?" then it's not right. First night nerves are very normal but if you have even... (read in full...)
I can see potential in this guy but my mom thinks he's bad news. How should I proceed?
Q. I moved with my family into a house next door to a guy around April. We started talking late May. We got along great and were hanging out heaps. We were staying at each others places watching movies or having drinks. We did give each other hugs ...
A. 26 August 2013: Your Mum is looking out for you and fears for you and her concerns so far are justified.
You "hope" you can change him. I disagree, only he can change himself and even then he has to want too.
If he's such a great guy why would you want to chan... (read in full...)
I think my partner is selfish and unfair. How do I get him to see things from my point of view?
Q. Dear Cupids, I am so lost and unsure of things and need advice. I am 34 a mother of 2 teenangers, my daughter lives with me and my partner and my son lives 6 hours away with his dad. His dad and I get along for the best part. The problem is I ...
A. 26 August 2013: I don't think you're being unfair at all.
Your children have to come first, every time, for all his faults it sounds as if your b/f puts his kids first regardless of how you feel.
In a perfect world you'd balance these visits together and sup... (read in full...)
New mom and I'm going a bit stir crazy.
Q. I'm a new mother of a 6 week old. She's wonderful, but exhausting. I'm breastfeeding so she's on the breast all the time. She's not much of a sleeper, day or night, so I don't sleep much. She's very needy of me, mostly because she's hungry, so to ...
A. 25 August 2013: I don't know if this will help but my daughter was my second baby and was exactly the same as your little one. I was shattered (I was a midwife at that time and felt I should be coping better). My son had fed like textbook, every 4 hours for 40 m... (read in full...)
Fair enough that they hate each other, but couldn't we get a photo for my son?
Q. Hello. Right. My parents had a rocky relationship, they never should have been togeher. Both messed up people who just added to the problems by getting together. They had me and stuck together for about 3 years for the "child's sake". I have no...
A. 25 August 2013: There are lots of different family groups these days.
Your son will know that your parents are not living together so it shouldn't bother him too much having pictures of them separately.
I think it bothers you more and that this means more ... (read in full...)
any woman who gives me the least bit of attention I already become attached to
Q. Okay first off, I am a female myself. Lately, especially the last year that is, I've felt a sort of strange attraction towards women that I can't really describe. Not sure if this has much to do with it but I know of myself that I am definitely not ...
A. 25 August 2013: I am certainly no expert but I've responded to your letter as you don't appear to have any answers from anyone more knowledgeable.
I really think you need to speak to a professional person about your sexuality so that you fully explore lesbiani... (read in full...)
What could he be thinking and where do I stand?
Q. The situation: we're both in our mid-20s and studying to be teachers. We're not friends but are friendly- have done some group assignments together and sometimes talk before class. He's a quiet guy- generally keeps to himself. I'm not the most ...
A. 25 August 2013: If you're both shy this could go on a while :)
Why don't you casually say, we never did get to have that birthday drink did we? Would you still like too?
Take it from there. If he says no thanks then you know he's not into you. If he says yes, ... (read in full...)
Busted by my 8 year old, butt ass naked in the kitchen!
Q. Hello. I am a just turned 31 year old, married mother of an 8 year old daughter. Last night, our daughter was having a sleepover with a friend a few houses down from ours. My husband and I took the opportunity to enjoy our alone time. We wer...
A. 25 August 2013: Be honest, tell her you find it more comfortable to be naked sometimes but that it's not appropriate to be that way around her, so, because you thought you were alone with daddy you thought it was ok.
Then leave it there, she'll probably accept t... (read in full...)
Nothing has been said since I reminded her of her sexual past, should I bring it back up?
Q. I am upset over something but don’t have the right to be. I posted last hear on Dear cupid and got some good feed back. Let me explain and get your reaction. I have suffered from retroactive jealousy for a number of years. I realize the p...
A. 25 August 2013: Your poor wife! The past is the past and things that we did before we hooked up with our current partners should not matter in the now.
Is she a good wife? Is she a good Mother? The things that happened in her past have made her the person s... (read in full...)
Is it rude to masturbate in front of your boyfriend?
Q. Hello, So my boyfriend and I had been on-and-of together for more than 2 years but I was never able to reach an orgasm. Not sure if it is because some women are just hard to get one or it is my problem. We don't see each other as often as we want...
A. 25 August 2013: I don't think it's rude or disrespectful, it's just a shame that your boyfriend wasn't awake.
You know that you can achieve an orgasm and that's great.
You know that it's not happening with your guy.
No-one knows what turns you on better... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't do any work at home and then complains that I should help her
Q. My wife is a stay at home mom, while I work 10-12 hours a day. My wife doesn't do anything at home, I always come home to a mess. She always complains that I should help with the house work. She doesn't do laundry until it absolutely needs to be ...
A. 24 August 2013: Sorry but firstly you say your wife is a stay at home Mom. How many children do you have and how old are they?
I ask this because if they are babies or of pre school age, you certainly cannot accuse your wife of sitting on her backside all day.... (read in full...)
How can I break up if I still have some love left for him?
Q. 3 weeks ago my jealous boyfriend and I had a fight, I was in college and I just finished classes so I decided to go home, but I ran into a female friend of mine and her male friend and we started talking, I texted my boyfriend this because I had ...
A. 24 August 2013: If any man treated my daughter like your boyfriend has been treating you I swear I would do him some serious harm.
Just who does he think he is? You are not a naughty child or a bad dog! You are a lovely young woman who should be being treated ... (read in full...)
Should I write a letter to my crush expressing my feelings?
Q. Hello everyone, I have a big crush for someone. He's a Police Inspector and he helps me in my work. Well, I'm not in the police sector but my work consists of prosecuting environmental offences. I never intended it and never wanted it, it just hap...
A. 24 August 2013: It's only my opinion but I don't think a letter expressing your feelings is a good idea.
You don't really know him that well and what if he doesn't feel the same way about you and showed the people he worked with? It could be very embarras... (read in full...)
I don't want to get married even though I am engaged!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I really dont know how to word this, so bare with me. Im 24, my fiance is 26. Weve been together 5 years and have two children ages 2 and 3. We are engaged to be married in april, 2015. We are paying for the wedding ourselves, ...
A. 24 August 2013: You are in a loving committed relationship. Marriage makes that relationship legally binding.
For those with a religious belief it makes the union a spiritual one confirmed by their God.
Weddings are expensive and you have a young family. Yo... (read in full...)
G/f broke up with me and I had to cancel our plans to get a house. I'm not sure what to do now.
Q. Hi guys. I need some help here. I'm 26 and have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, 23, for over six years. It had a wobble or two when we first started but its been pretty plain sailing no problems ever since, we were very happy. We p...
A. 23 August 2013: Your girlfriend ended it as she needed her space, but then keeps contacting you. She was honest about her feelings but it would still have been painful for you especially as it concerns another guy. She can't have her cake and eat it! This is v... (read in full...)
She hasn't invited me to her friends' wedding?
Q. My girlfriend has been invited to one of her friend's wedding next month (an ex, but they're still friends, which is totally fine with me by the way). It's in the middle of a week we both have off on holiday. Anyway, she told me that it didn't come ...
A. 23 August 2013: I rather think I agree that it's a bit off an all counts really. 2 years together and soon to be living together makes you a very definite item and as you know the bride it groom it wouldn't have been inappropriate to ask you to the wedding (it ... (read in full...)
How long after losing your virginity will sex start to feel good for a woman?
Q. Hello everyone. I have a question. I have had sex for the first time recently. I lost my virginity on August 1st. Since then we have had sex once or twice a week. He can fit inside me and we have sex no problem. But it still feels a little...
A. 23 August 2013: You are not in the least bit abnormal hun and congratulations on finding such a lovely bf.
It just takes a little bit of time and with all things, practice makes perfect ;)
I don't know if you've experimented with positions but if not, the miss... (read in full...)
Family/relationship not completely out
Q. My whole family loves me and they love my girlfriend. She currently lives with me and my mom. They have even adopted her into the family but they don't know we are lesbians. About 1/3 of my family knows about us but the rest we are reluctant to tell ...
A. 23 August 2013: Family is a tricky thing isn't it?
You can never please everyone and nor should you.
Your mom has accepted your girlfriend and 1/3 of your family accept and love her too. She's obviously a wonderful person and she makes you happy.
As a m... (read in full...)
Wife had bad day at work, crying but won't tell me what happened!
Q. I need some insight into the female mind...no easy task I know. My wife comes home crying. She started a new job about 2 weeks ago. She said she had a horrible day. So I hug her and she cries. I ask whats wrong but she said she didnt want to ta...
A. 23 August 2013: Something is clearly very wrong and the only person with answer to it is her. You are lovely supportive man and I can tell that this is destroying you, not only because the woman you love is distressed but because you're now imagining all so... (read in full...)
How can I get a girl who maybe liked me in the past to definitely like me now?
Q. So last year around October I started liking a girl, which developed into a heavy crush. I fell in love with her but I never did any major moves with her. At some point at the beginning of this year things were moving greatly, but for several ...
A. 23 August 2013: There is absolutely nothing you can do to "definitely" make someone like you. She either will or she won't.
I say be open, friendly and a good listener but most of all be yourself.
Show interest in her and in what she's doing, then when the ti... (read in full...)
Anyone else ever not been invited to a baby shower? I'm engaged to her father.
Q. I've been in my current relationship for 5 years and we are engaged. I know his children, etc. The daughter is married (27 years old) and is now pregnant for the first time. She is having her baby shower in a couple of months. I only found this ...
A. 23 August 2013: This must be so difficult for you, especially as you sound like a such a warm, caring person. I think her failure to invite you is more to do with her and her mum and less about you. This, I think, is very sad because you would be such a lovely ad... (read in full...)
Any advice for swinging? I feel jealous of the rapport between my b/f and the female
Q. My boyfriend and I have had a few "swinging" encounters and we want to continue in the lifestyle. I enjoy being with other women without a doubt. Once I am in the heat of the moment I also enjoy being with other men. The problem is that the last ...
A. 23 August 2013: I have no experience of swinging first hand as my husband and I choose to be exclusive but I have a friend who does. She has told me that these encounters can be a lot of fun but only if both partners are completely comfortable. There should be ... (read in full...)
How should I act around the man who rejected me?
Q. I had a crush on a man, who was out of my reach. It was inappropriate. But I told him I had a crush on him and he pretty much rejected me, with no answers after a lot of flirting, when we'd see each other, smiling, waving, winking etc. he didn't h...
A. 23 August 2013: I don't think your stupid at all. We can't help who we fall in love with or have crushes on, how we act upon them however we can. I think the flirting thing was nice for both of you but (and I don't know why you haven't said) he is unattainable... (read in full...)
Why is this old flame from the past still playing on my mind?
Q. I have been with my partner for a over a year and a half, we're happy together and we're planning a future together now. So why can't I get my ex boyfriend out of my head? I had a few relationships in the past and don't give any of my other exes a ...
A. 23 August 2013: The mind is a strange and funny thing. You are probably a bit of a romantic and I don't think that you are in love with your ex at all. I think you are in love with "the idea" of him. You didn't really know him, the relationship was a long dist... (read in full...)
I've been involved with a guy from work who also has a girlfriend. Things were great but I feel like he's backing off. How can I keep him interested?
Q. I've been seeing a guy from work for a while, i started there in April and I've had so much fun working with him and flirting away. We get on great! The flirting increased about two months ago and we started sending dirty texts and pics, which ...
A. 22 August 2013: How can you keep him interested? I don't think he was ever interested in the first place for anything other than fling.
You entered into a relationship which you knew was wrong in the hope that he would fall in love with you and dump his girlfrie... (read in full...)
Should I wear lingerie under my dress to surprise him even more?
Q. OK, so my 10 month relationship has been a little rusty for the last 3 months. We really care for eachother and love eachother but We haven't had sex for about 5 month, not because we don't want to, we really want to, but timing, destiny, karma and ...
A. 22 August 2013: Wow, your guy is in for treat! Like it? He'd be mad if he didn't!
Pretty, sexy undies can never hurt and they'll make you feel a million dollars too!
The venue sounds very seductive too as long as it is as private as you say (no hidden cctv ... (read in full...)
How can I go swimming when I'm having my period and can't use tampons?
Q. Please help. My friends mum is taking me, her and her 8 year old sister on holiday tomorrow we'll be going swimming in a really cool pool too but I started my period 2 days ago I can't cancel as she already paid. I can't use tampons. I tried but it ...
A. 22 August 2013: This is so unfair isn't it?
Using a tampon is really the only reliable way to be able to swim whilst on a period but I appreciate they can be a bit tricky when you first start.
Did you use the smallest, slimmest tampons available, they ... (read in full...)
Why is my wife suddenly so happy to have anal sex? I can't ask her about it!
Q. Anal sex with wife. Hi. Been married for 10 years and wife said was virgin. Regular sex was painful with her to start with and she seemed really not to know hot to handle it. However, very recently she started initiating anal...
A. 22 August 2013: It never ceases to amaze me that two people who are married and enjoying a physical relationship can't ask each other questions about sex!
For goodness sake we were all virgins once, and lets be frank here, you're having anal sex! How can you both... (read in full...)
Is he playing with my feelings?
Q. Okay everyone I am so very beyond confused! So I broke up with my ex last Monday. I didn't miss him wanna talk to him or anything. Then he texted me on Thursday telling me that he misses me and stuff that he would usually never say. He was saying ...
A. 22 August 2013: Sweetie, please reread your letter as if someone else had written it.
He is using you. No commitment, but a roof over his head, meals provided, a warm bed and kisses and cuddles whilst he saves money for gas! How could a girl say no?
As soon... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if he prefers me or her!
Q. So, I like a guy at my high school, and I know he likes me or at least likes flirting with me. We flirt often because we play the same sports, but don't have any classes together. One of my friends thought he liked me, too, which helps because I ...
A. 22 August 2013: Relationships are so complicated sometimes, especially in the bit before they become a relationship.
You've dropped hints and they've been ignored. He's friendly to you, but he is to everyone. Sweetie, I think he likes you (you sounds very nic... (read in full...)
Someone needs to tell him he's hurting people!
Q. So... Two and a half months ago my ex dumped me out of the blue no clear warning signs no nothing, just the explaination of I don't see it lasting! We'd been together btw prior to this ten months and he'd promised me basically the world telling me ...
A. 22 August 2013: I understand your hurt and anger and it's totally justified but do you really think that your ex is going to take any notice of your views on his behaviour or treatment of women?
No, this guy fancies himself as a player and is doing the rounds. ... (read in full...)
My roommate says that I smell but I don't know whether she is being mean or honest
Q. My roommate and I hate each other and she says I have an odor problem when I’m doing what I know is right hygiene-wise. I’m at my wits end. We’re in the military. We live in a 3-man room. She says that “my smell” infects the entire room. I h...
A. 21 August 2013: This girl is a bully and I think you should ignore her.
My advice would have been to ask someone you trust what they think but you've already clearly done that and been reassured.
This girl is very sad and seriously needs to grow up a bit.
... (read in full...)
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