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... Send *unty Babbit a private message | | | *unty Babbit's profile:I was a nurse and midwife for 20 years, I am a mother of 2 children and have a stepchild. All are now adults OMG!
I am very happily married, second time round.
My husband has suffered depression (not caused by me lol) and we have luckily come through that.
I have often mediated for friends during breakups and am regularly asked for advice on all things in general.
I have a lot of friends and when I'm not working (in bereavement)I write my own books of poetry for children and illustrate them as well |
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Do fathers have rights to know where their children are living?
Q. Does anyone know, either from a personally experience, or legally, does a father have right to know where his children are living? Story is: Bad relationship, physically and mentally abusive, also his current girlfriend is now causing trouble t...
A. 28 October 2013: Anonymous reader, You are very WRONG and your advice is frightening.
You may well be a father who has lost contact with his children, I don't know but think of this.
Yes father's have rights in regards to their children, but they only have t... (read in full...)
Haven't heard from my boyfriend since Friday, worrying that something's happened to him!
Q. This is probably more of a vent-my-feelings post than anything else, but I suppose I'm also looking for reassurance! I'm 22, he's 26, in a serious relationship etc. We're going on holiday together next week and I'm going out of my mind that somethin...
A. 28 October 2013: I don't think you have to make a big deal of it but I do think you should at least tell him how worried you were.
You don't have to be accusatory but, in the same way that he likes you to phone to say that you're home safe, you would like a text n... (read in full...)
Can he learn from this and remain faithful or am I dealing with a ticking time bomb?
Q. I found nasty texts on my boyfriend's phone to a friend of his about his pursuit of trying to find a woman to have sex with while I was out of town. He found a girl he was interested in while he was at a bar and proceeded to hit on her and relay the ...
A. 27 October 2013: Hi OP,
There was a lady on here a few days ago with exactly the same problem so here's a link to her question.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/messages-on-his-phone-were-at-a-minimum.html
I hope you find the answers there helpful.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend thinks I cheated and I never have. How do I convince him?
Q. My boyfriend of four years thinks that I have betrayed him with infidelity (cheated on him), I did not commit such a act, I'm innocent but he will not listen to the truth, he also wont express his reasons why he is so sure about his accusations. ...
A. 27 October 2013: You can't.
I would be so angry if I was accused of something I hadn't done.
You should demand he explain himself and tell you why he's so convinced that you've cheated and that you're lying about it!
I can only assume someone has sprea... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's boss gave us a dog and now they want it to visit them and I don't want to do it!
Q. My boyfriend and I adopted a 2 year old boxer from a couple that had too many dogs and the boxer became aggressive. They begged us to take the dog and we did. They were very thankful and didn't ask us to pay money and even gave us the cage and toys ...
A. 27 October 2013: If they love this dog so much then they should also understand that he/she has emotional issues and is still adjusting and settling in with you.
Dogs are intelligent pack animals and this visit may well confuse and disorientate your pet.
... (read in full...)
Haven't heard from my boyfriend since Friday, worrying that something's happened to him!
Q. This is probably more of a vent-my-feelings post than anything else, but I suppose I'm also looking for reassurance! I'm 22, he's 26, in a serious relationship etc. We're going on holiday together next week and I'm going out of my mind that somethin...
A. 27 October 2013: I think if something had happened to him then someone would have contacted you by now.
You could call the local hospitals and see if he's been admitted or call the police and ask if there have been any accidents involving your boyfriend or any u... (read in full...)
Do fathers have rights to know where their children are living?
Q. Does anyone know, either from a personally experience, or legally, does a father have right to know where his children are living? Story is: Bad relationship, physically and mentally abusive, also his current girlfriend is now causing trouble t...
A. 27 October 2013: Your first obligation is to protect your children.
If this man has been mentally and physically abusive and so is his girlfriend, then you are putting yourself and your children in danger by letting him know where you are.
If he wants access ... (read in full...)
Does she really want to go out?
Q. This girl I like now "used" to like me, I'm not sure if she still does or not, but she gives off the signs she does, and is interested in me still (possibly), but every time I ask her if she wants to come over, or go out to see a movie/eat sometime, ...
A. 27 October 2013: Considering she has never given you any reasonable excuses as to why she has cancelled these dates at the last moment and she ignores you in the lead up to each date, I think she's being very rude and I can't understand why you're still bothering.
... (read in full...)
What's the best sex toy for ldr?
Q. hi dear aunts, im in a ldr and we love each other very much, however we miss a lot the phsical contact. on my last visit i jokingly told her i would send her "something to keep her company, something she could enjoy and think of me while im away... ...
A. 27 October 2013: Every woman is different and achieves orgasm through a variety of different ways.
You know what your girlfriend likes and needs so find a toy that is designed for that purpose.
For example, if she "comes" with clitoral stimulation most... (read in full...)
What should I do to be more masculine?
Q. So I come here often for advice, so I am here again. This is something that has bothered for me for a long time. I am gay, and I am totally okay with it. But I seem to be very effeminate. I have always thought of myself as masculine, but m...
A. 27 October 2013: OK so you're considered effeminate. If you try to be more masculine then you WILL be acting.
It's not who you are and surely you don't want to spend the rest of your life being something that you're not.
You are who you are and I think you shou... (read in full...)
My friend always brings her boyfriend to girls night out and it's annoying!
Q. My three best friends and I have been a group since high school. Now that we're seniors in college, we're busy but we still organize bi-monthly hangouts. I attend the same school as one of my friends whom I see more often. She is the one I see most ...
A. 27 October 2013: This is really difficult isn't it?
She's not getting the hints so I think, if you're all feeling this way, then you have to tell her.
Obviously that's not going to be easy because you don't want to offend her.
I suggest you say somethin... (read in full...)
I feel unappreciated by my boyfriend!
Q. I do everything for my boyfriend but he never says he loves me and I feel unappreciated. I have taken him on business trips across the country, expensive sporting events, weekend trips paid for by me, and drive him everywhere when we are together. I ...
A. 27 October 2013: I'm afraid it sounds like this man is using you.
You're showering him with gifts and days out which he's accepting but not appreciating which is rude of him at best.
He only calls you if he wants something! You're his personal chauffeur and ar... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my best female friend and don't know how to act!
Q. So I've started having feelings for my best girl friend. We've known each other for about 4 months but we've gotten really close as friends. She's friendly with me like she kisses me on the cheek in public and jokes around with me. Everytime I ...
A. 27 October 2013: I think the only thing you can do is ask her how she feels.
Scary, I know, but it's the only way to know for sure.
Keep it low key and do it when you two don't have other friends around.
Just tell her that you really like her and does she th... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time sending her presents?
Q. I have a childhood friend on whom I had a huge crush. I met her after 12 years on facebook.. she is studying thousand miles away from me... I proposed her on the 3rd day.. She said no.. Then after one month I sent an expensive leather clutch.....
A. 27 October 2013: Thank you for your reply :)
Please try not feel too bad. You made a mistake, that's what we do from time to time.
Learn from it and move forward.
Please also remember, your motives were not sinister they were driven by your desire for this ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to ask their girlfriend for gifts at the start of a relationship?
Q. Is this normal for a guy to ask his girl friend to buy him gifts at the very beginning of their relationship and telling her what to buy for him? If she says no to buy then he remarked her as money minded? And if she buys, he becomes very happy and ...
A. 26 October 2013: No, this is not normal behaviour for a guy, in fact it's not normal for anyone.
Only children behave in this way, asking an adult for something, sulking if they don't get it and being all happy if they do.
If you allow this guy to behave like t... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I'm ready for him to enter "through the front door?"
Q. Hi, So I'm ready to have vaginal sex with my boyfriend. We've done oral and anal. Before him, I had only done oral so he was my first for the backdoor. I'm ready for him to enter through the front too haha The problem is that I'm not sure how...
A. 26 October 2013: Do you know it never ceases to surprise me that there are still young people who seem to think that anal and/or oral sex is NOT proper sex! It is!
It's a total cop out to say I'm a virgin because I've never had vaginal sex but I have had my back ... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time sending her presents?
Q. I have a childhood friend on whom I had a huge crush. I met her after 12 years on facebook.. she is studying thousand miles away from me... I proposed her on the 3rd day.. She said no.. Then after one month I sent an expensive leather clutch.....
A. 26 October 2013: You can't buy someone's affection or their love.
You knew her when you were children, you don't know her as a woman.
You can't be "in love" with someone you really don't know, you're just "in love" with the idea, the fantasy of her.
You prop... (read in full...)
Baby momma drama or MM who swears he's getting a divorce?
Q. I moved to another state to be with a man I lived with for 5 years. He moved here to be with his daughter in the mean time I met another guy back home who treated me like a queen for the short time I knew him. He wants me to move back and be with ...
A. 26 October 2013: Thank you for replying :)
If the MM has shown you his divorce papers and it's all really happening then fair enough, but you didn't tell us that in your original post. You just said he was married!
Just a point to note, has SHE signed the paper... (read in full...)
Did I offend her?
Q. Did I offend her? I'm originally from Pakistan and studying at a university in London. There I befriended a Lebanese girl. We became really good friends. We hung out and did all kinds of stuff together. She usually interacted with other girls and ...
A. 26 October 2013: Aunty YouWish has said exactly what I was going too :)
You haven't offended her, I think she really liked you and probably hoped that you and her might become more than friends at some point and her hopes have been dashed.
She's probabl... (read in full...)
I'm expecting my ex boyfriend's child and I don't know if I should tell him and break his current girlfriend's heart.
Q. I'm expecting my ex boyfriend's child and I don't know if I should tell him and break his current girlfriend's heart. Basically, when we broke up, we made a stupid agreement to still have sex from time to time. I ended things because I got sick of ...
A. 26 October 2013: You won't be breaking his girlfriend's heart, he's done that already!
He did it when he slept with you and cheated on her, she just doesn't know it's broken yet!
Yes, you must tell him about the baby. Not just because he's the father but becau... (read in full...)
Baby momma drama or MM who swears he's getting a divorce?
Q. I moved to another state to be with a man I lived with for 5 years. He moved here to be with his daughter in the mean time I met another guy back home who treated me like a queen for the short time I knew him. He wants me to move back and be with ...
A. 26 October 2013: You won't like my reply but I'm afraid I speak as find.
If you're with a guy for 5 years, what are you doing cheating on him with another guy back home?
As if that's not bad enough, the man you're cheating with is married so you're also wrec... (read in full...)
Messages on his phone were at a minimum disrespectful, possibly much worse
Q. I noticed my boyfriend of over 3 years was really touchy about me using his phone yesterday. He didn't seem to want me around it. I decided to take a look at his messages while he gave me the phone to use to look up something. I discovered text ...
A. 26 October 2013: Thank you for your response :)
I don't think that once a cheater always a cheater. It is possible that this was just a blip and a silly mistake. It is possible that he is SO VERY sorry that he never strays again.
It will take a long time for yo... (read in full...)
Who calls first?
Q. Hiya, I'm in a bit of a pickle with my boyfriend of over 2 years. We had a big fight last Friday, and since then we've not seen each other once. I've texted asking to sort it out, but he ignored me, then I said I was taking a few days to myself a...
A. 25 October 2013: Thank you for taking the time to reply :)
You deserve so much better!
You held out an olive branch and he's been whipping you with it!
Quite frankly I don't think it matters what he has to say anymore.
My advice is to cut him loose, he p... (read in full...)
My vagina is very wet and it makes an irritating sound!
Q. I have a problem with my vagina,everytime when i have sex it becomes too wet and makes an irritating sound which makes me not to enjoy...
A. 25 October 2013: This is perfectly normal although it can cause embarrassment if you're with a new partner.
Sometimes doing pelvic floor exercises can help with this problem but you won't notice improvements for at least 6 weeks.
Mind you, even if it doesn't he... (read in full...)
Who calls first?
Q. Hiya, I'm in a bit of a pickle with my boyfriend of over 2 years. We had a big fight last Friday, and since then we've not seen each other once. I've texted asking to sort it out, but he ignored me, then I said I was taking a few days to myself a...
A. 25 October 2013: A lot depends on what you rowed about and why!
At the moment, for what ever reason, your boyfriend very much has all the control.
He's dictating when this will be sorted out and it's all on his terms.
You are being very submissive.
No, ... (read in full...)
My fiancee's mother hates me!
Q. Okay, I know this is quick. so I have only been with my fiance for 10 months, he asked me to marry him after 5 months we got a ring after 9 months. We met online and I love him so much (success story) we are absolutely besotted with eachother, but ...
A. 25 October 2013: My darling, you can't diffuse this situation.
Some women are so controlling of their sons NO woman would ever be good enough for him.
This is her problem and she's going to have to deal with it.
When my parents got together, my father's mo... (read in full...)
Help dealing with paranoia... its hurting my relationship!
Q. Hi Everyone, I'm a very paranoid person and I've started to recognise that it's now getting to a point where it's out of control. I can be fine one minute and the next be flipping out with my fiancé talking to some girl at work. I think because th...
A. 24 October 2013: There is no "cure" for jealousy but you have taken the first step in recognising that you have the problem and that it's harmful.
I would recommend counselling. This is no quick fix and is not an easy thing to do but will be worth it if you can ... (read in full...)
Messages on his phone were at a minimum disrespectful, possibly much worse
Q. I noticed my boyfriend of over 3 years was really touchy about me using his phone yesterday. He didn't seem to want me around it. I decided to take a look at his messages while he gave me the phone to use to look up something. I discovered text ...
A. 24 October 2013: Thank you for taking the time to reply :)
It sounds like he's made a mistake but has been honest about it.
His fears concerning his body image are understandable and he's right, he does need to choose his friends more carefully.
Is... (read in full...)
Messages on his phone were at a minimum disrespectful, possibly much worse
Q. I noticed my boyfriend of over 3 years was really touchy about me using his phone yesterday. He didn't seem to want me around it. I decided to take a look at his messages while he gave me the phone to use to look up something. I discovered text ...
A. 24 October 2013: I think the question is what do YOU think?
What he said does sound like guy chat but yes it's not only disrespectful to you it's disrespectful to all women!
It doesn't actually show your boyfriend in a good light does it? And he clearly needs... (read in full...)
Is it cowardice to rather die in a dream than live in reality?
Q. Is it cowardice to rather die in a dream than live in reality? In a dream you choose to be and do exactly how you wish things to be, while in reality you're forced to accept the hand that is dealt and make it work. Is it cowardice to escape...
A. 24 October 2013: You have a very negative of perception of real life.
I'm not quite sure what you mean about dying in a dream rather than living in the real world!
Are you thinking about taking your own life?
I'm finding it very difficult to interpret e... (read in full...)
I feel like he rejected me when I most needed him
Q. I have sexually lost interest in my husband of three years. I find his touch annoying. We have had our share of problems. Am suddenly remembering all the past hurt and just get turned off. One of them is that when we were dating, he made me beg for ...
A. 23 October 2013: I really can't imagine what you have been through, my heart goes out to you.
I think the answer to this problem can be decided on whether or not you want to stay with your husband.
If you do then Uncle CMMP's advice to seek counselling shou... (read in full...)
I'm hoping this co-worker doesn't have a thing for me -- do I have reason to be worried?
Q. Ok my question is about a man from work,he's always really nice to me which is fine, but he's 40 and I am 24 But I'm starting to worry slightly as during presentations (he's senior management) he always seems to hold my eye contact A LOT! And then I ...
A. 23 October 2013: Great advice from Aunty SVConfused.
What she says and times it by two from me.
AB x... (read in full...)
My husband told me he was in love with another woman
Q. I do not know where to even go with this. My husband and his step-sister sat me down and informed me that they have been in love for over 30 years and that they would be together right now except they promised her dad that they would not. My ...
A. 23 October 2013: Well according to what they've told you, they would be together if it wasn't for your marriage!
What a terrible thing for you to hear!
Of course you love your husband, you don't just suddenly stop loving someone.
How lovely for you to know t... (read in full...)
She doesn't turn me on any more.
Q. Help! I don't find my girlfriend sexually attractive anymore. We've been dating about 1 and half years. We do get along really well, I do enjoy spending time with her. She's funny, weird, quirky, clever but I come to the point where I fantasize ...
A. 23 October 2013: When my husband decided that he no longer wanted to be married and left me, we had spent ages talking about the reasons why.
The most painful of these reasons was that he said he no longer found me sexually attractive. When I asked him how long... (read in full...)
Is it rude to not acknowledge a thank you?
Q. If you recieve a gift for a birthday from someone. Is it rude not to say thank you? A did it rude not to respond to the thank you....even if you don't really like the person? My son's birthday, and he got a gift from his grandparents (on...
A. 21 October 2013: Based on your updates it does sound like they have an issue with you too and that's sad.
It so often happens.
It seems clear then, based on your responses, that they are snubbing you, and that's impolite, but I have to say I'm surprised you fe... (read in full...)
Did fate bring us together at the speed dating event? And is this considered a relationship based on infatuation or real love?
Q. Dear Cupid, I might be cynical in saying this, but I didn't believe that fate could bring two people together as it was always something I saw depicted in movies. Never have I ever experienced love like this when I met my current boyfriend who li...
A. 21 October 2013: I think only time will tell if this is infatuation or real love.
Right now things feel wonderful for you and that's great.
Please remember though, you have only met this guy for 3 minutes. The rest of your contact has been long distance.
... (read in full...)
He said the message on his phone was a trap to see if I was snooping
Q. Hi im in a relationship with an aries, I saw on his phone msgs to another woman saying he had feelings for her apparently she was in spain, I asked him about this as I was packing to leave, things got heated n he said he didnt want me to leave, we ...
A. 20 October 2013: I'm an Aquarian, does that help?
Firstly it's no good telling me he's an Aries, I'm an agony aunt, not an astrologer, so I can't do anything with your star signs I'm afraid.
The bit I do know is this.
He's been caught cheating on you a... (read in full...)
Is it rude to not acknowledge a thank you?
Q. If you recieve a gift for a birthday from someone. Is it rude not to say thank you? A did it rude not to respond to the thank you....even if you don't really like the person? My son's birthday, and he got a gift from his grandparents (on...
A. 20 October 2013: Yes, it polite to say thank you but it's not bad manners to not respond to that when it's delivered in a text format.
Face to face, when thanking someone, it would be normal to respond with "your welcome" or similar, because it would feel uncomfor... (read in full...)
Why would he have a condom?
Q. So my boyfriend of 11 months and I live together friday he had to go a thing for work for health insurance or something him and his cobworker car pooled together she's a girl but she's from Africa . Any way he had to go to another city which is ...
A. 20 October 2013: I can't see why this girls ethnic origin is pertinent to story, is it relevant?
I'm not sure I'm getting the story, he went to a work thing and car pooled, the meeting was about 1 hour drive away but we're not given the times, you then tell us ... (read in full...)
Why did he meet me then if he was going to break up by text?
Q. I met a guy three weeks ago. he came to my table and asked for my number. he decided to give me his number and after that I texted him and started talking. after that we liked echother verymuch and started talking as much as we can. he was leaving ...
A. 20 October 2013: You met this guy only 3 weeks ago and chatted and texted, you met only once and then you're begging him not to leave you and take away your happiness and he's promising he never will!
This has all happened very quickly and maybe too soon.
You ... (read in full...)
The hair therapy girl is sexually provocative and hitting on my husband.
Q. I love my husband so much, today we for hair therapy this pretty provocative girl comes n hate that my hubby got amused by her beaty i felt bad insecure n ugly plus im over weight. The girl so tall slim n high heels pretty hair n body i was so dammm ...
A. 19 October 2013: I'm sorry but I don't think you're not going to like my answer.
This woman may be sexy, tall, pretty and provocative and she may well know it and flirt with her male customers. It probably means nothing to her and although you may find it distaste... (read in full...)
Do I struggle to stay and finish my course and graduate with my friends or do I take a year off? Help!
Q. I need some serious honest advice, i'm having to make the biggest decision and I'm stuck. My whole life plan has been ruined by something major and I didn't prepare myself for the outcome of changing plans. I had an accident over summer which mea...
A. 18 October 2013: So sorry to read about your accident and your dilemma.
You don't say what injuries you sustained.
The reason I ask is this.
If your injuries are physical then you might have trouble travelling and you say that your health is unpredictable,... (read in full...)
How do I respark his interest in our sex life?
Q. So we have been together for 5 years. In the last two months, the thought of his mouth being on me in any way has become disgusting because he has begun dipping (which I have made clear that I absolutely despise.) He told me today on the phone when ...
A. 18 October 2013: Ok you've stumped me! I've heard of "double dipping" but not this, is it the same thing as "rimming"?
And there was me thinking I'd pretty much heard it all over the years, well it goes to prove you learn something new every day! :)
What yo... (read in full...)
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