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... Send *unty Babbit a private message | | | *unty Babbit's profile:I was a nurse and midwife for 20 years, I am a mother of 2 children and have a stepchild. All are now adults OMG!
I am very happily married, second time round.
My husband has suffered depression (not caused by me lol) and we have luckily come through that.
I have often mediated for friends during breakups and am regularly asked for advice on all things in general.
I have a lot of friends and when I'm not working (in bereavement)I write my own books of poetry for children and illustrate them as well |
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I am already pregnant. So how do my husband and I handle his parents who flipped about the pregnancy because my husband is disabled?
Q. I need some advice on how to deal with the things going on in my life at the moment. I Will tell u the back story. My husband and I were involved in an accident a few years ago and it left my husband significantly physically disabled and I'm now ...
A. 26 March 2014: I was totally shocked to read your letter.
Surely after everything you have both been through you would have thought that your husband's parents would be thrilled that something so wonderful is happening for you both.
I really cannot understan... (read in full...)
Fell pregnant after a holiday fling, now he wants to meet to discuss my choice!
Q. I fell pregnant after a holiday fling last year when my group of friend met a few guys at the same hotel. I decided to have an abortion because I wasn't in anyway ready for a child. Plus I couldn't see the child's father being supportive at all ...
A. 26 March 2014: This guy has no right at all to make you feel bad.
Given the circumstances I think you made a brave decision and the right one for you.
It wasn't an easy choice but it was your choice to make given the circumstances, not his.
I can't see how... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to look at other women and come to the conclusion that some are better than my wife?
Q. Is it wrong to look at other women if you find yourself thinking they are better than your wife in some way? For example you see a woman who has long shapely legs, and you catch yourself thinking for a second she has nicer legs than your wife. I ...
A. 25 March 2014: Hi OP,
You pose an interesting question so I spoke to Mr Babbit about this to see if our opinions varied.
We both had the same opinion and here it is.
It is perfectly normal, as you state, for men or women to notice someone they find attrac... (read in full...)
Feels like no one is genuinely excited about our engagement. There are challenges. What can I do to cope with it all?
Q. It feels like no one is genuinely excited about my recent engagement. I've been dating a wonderful man for about 6 months and he recently proposed. We are in a long distance relationship, and there are a lot of challenges to us being together-t...
A. 25 March 2014: I'm sure you are finding it depressing and not what you want to hear but your parents and your best friend only want what's best for you and they feel concern.
I will be honest with you and give you my opinion.
I'm sure this man is as lovely... (read in full...)
Do folk think the likes me or not? How can I show him I am interested ?
Q. Hi, I'm feeling confused over a man I have knew for a few months. He blows hot and cold! I see him once a week at church, Some weeks he is great around me and comes up to me and chats away, putting his arm around me,rubs my arm, flirts ect a...
A. 25 March 2014: I really don't know whether or not he "likes" you in a romantic way, only he would know the answer to that question.
It does seem strange, however, that one week he's friendly, the next he's distant. This doesn't sound like the behaviour of a man... (read in full...)
The guy I'm seeing will be leaving for Germany soon and now seems reluctant for me to visit
Q. Met a guy who I really like. He said it was his best first date etc. He's now met my family and we get on so well we could spend days together. Been dating 2 months now. However he's unfortunately going to Germany for 5 months next week for univ...
A. 25 March 2014: It's not needy to want to know where you stand and I think how you come across depends on how you pose the question.
I would be honest and ask him outright whether he's uncomfortable about you visiting him in Germany. If he says yes, explore ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be anxious after becoming engaged?
Q. Did I just make a huge mistake accepting a proposal? I've been dating a wonderful man for about six months, and he just proposed yesterday. I love him, and I feel like I can see myself having a happy life with him. I am freaking out right n...
A. 24 March 2014: I think after only six months of dating it would be quite normal to feel anxious about accepting a proposal.
I don't think this means you've made a huge mistake, I just think it means things are moving faster than you're able to handle.
I think... (read in full...)
Why do young girls keep naughty pictures and make mean comments?
Q. hi this is not a relationship question or sex question, but anyway i decided to ask in order to get some feedback from you guys. i've been searching (and viewing)a lor of facebook profiles (of girls) and there is a thing i don't understand. why thes...
A. 24 March 2014: Because maybe they're NOT the "nice" type of girls you'd like to introduce to your mother.
But let's look a little deeper.
Firstly YOU are searching through profiles of girls aged as young as 14 years.
14-20! That's a very diverse age range... (read in full...)
How to I reconcile knowing something significant about my boyfriend's father that even he doesn't know?
Q. So my partner is one of three children. He has a different father to the younger two and sees this dad as his also. He has no interest in his biological 'father' since he never had anything to do with him. Last night I was drinking with my...
A. 24 March 2014: What a horrible situation to be in!
If you're not going to tell him (and for what it's worth I completely agree with you it's not your place to tell him) I think you need to consider what his reaction could be if he discovers that you knew and... (read in full...)
Why won't he dance with me?
Q. My husband to be dance competitively in college - salsa, tango and ballroom with his ex wife for many years. We've been together 3 1/2 yrs and not once has he taken me dancing. Our wedding is this summer and I don't know how to deal with the first ...
A. 23 March 2014: You've been together 3 1/2 years and are engaged to be married but you can't let him know how you feel about wanting to dance with him, especially at your wedding?
You're making a lot of assumptions. You assume he enjoyed dancing in college,... (read in full...)
IS it crazy for me to try to work things out with my ex?
Q. I broke up with my bf last November after being together for 2 years. We're both in our mid 30's and were in somewhat of a long distance relationship causing us to only see each other on the weekend. The main reasons for the breakup was that we were ...
A. 23 March 2014: Dear OP, thank you for your update.
I hope you're OK. For what it's worth, I think you acted sensibly and responsibly in telling this guy how you feel and his response was less than immature.
You come across as a caring person who has tried ve... (read in full...)
IS it crazy for me to try to work things out with my ex?
Q. I broke up with my bf last November after being together for 2 years. We're both in our mid 30's and were in somewhat of a long distance relationship causing us to only see each other on the weekend. The main reasons for the breakup was that we were ...
A. 20 March 2014: I can see why you two argued.
I don't think your original argument was immature, the points raised were reasonable given your ages and the point you were at in your relationship.
What you need to know is where you both stand on these issues ... (read in full...)
Need help deciding on my 30th birthday plans!
Q. I'm not sure what to do for my 30th birthday. It is on 16th May, so I don't have much time to plan this. I hope you can help. 1 . My favourite singer is doing a concert on my birthday in London. I could go to London from Wednesday or Thu...
A. 8 March 2014: If you love the sound of all of these things and they're all possible, I say put the choices on slips of paper and pull one out of a hat.
One of two things will happen, you'll either have your answer OR you'll be disappointed with choice and know... (read in full...)
We cancelled the wedding and I am now stuck in limbo.
Q. is there any hope? I live with and had been planning to marry a loving exciting, thoughtful, generous man who I adore. He also will do anything for my children aged 21 and 18. Financially he has given everything he owns. The problem is that ...
A. 5 March 2014: You are very brave and I admire you for your courage in writing your original post and the decisions you have made.
I wish you nothing but happiness
Love AB xx :)... (read in full...)
We cancelled the wedding and I am now stuck in limbo.
Q. is there any hope? I live with and had been planning to marry a loving exciting, thoughtful, generous man who I adore. He also will do anything for my children aged 21 and 18. Financially he has given everything he owns. The problem is that ...
A. 3 March 2014: Thank you for your response OP, however I would just like to point out that pre and post nuptial agreements, in this country are very often not worth the paper they're written on, so please be sure yours is watertight.Please note that although your ... (read in full...)
My brother's future wife is lying about her age and her sexual past! Do I tell him or keep my mouth shut?
Q. Hey, everyone...am in desperate need of advice. My elder brother is set to marry this coming july. The problem is he is marrying a woman he dated for only two months. I know most will say that it doesn't matter how long you date. But I think he...
A. 2 March 2014: Everything you've heard is just gossip and rumour. You have nothing factual to go on.
I can understand that you're protective of your brother but he has to live his own life and make his own mistakes.
There are a few ways to deal with this a... (read in full...)
I always think the worst, even when things are great!
Q. I've known my boyfriend for over seven years, but have only been dating him for a little less than a year. I love him dearly. However, he lives in Europe. I'm American. We visit as much as possible, but it's expensive. We've talked about vis...
A. 2 March 2014: You're feeling this way because your heart is telling you one thing and your head is telling you to be cautious.
Yes you're in love and that's exciting and wonderful, so are dreams of your wedding day and the future you could have.
The rea... (read in full...)
Why did he suddenly start texting me again?
Q. All of a sudden he started texting me again after being distant for months. Here is a little of history: We became friends very fast around this time last year (we had a lot in common) and we hang out a lot (I fell in love with him). Then one...
A. 2 March 2014: This guy loves the thrill of the chase and he sees you as a sexual challenge.
He's ignored you for ages but he only has to text you a couple of times and start communicating again.
He loves your naivety and innocence but I truly believe he... (read in full...)
We cancelled the wedding and I am now stuck in limbo.
Q. is there any hope? I live with and had been planning to marry a loving exciting, thoughtful, generous man who I adore. He also will do anything for my children aged 21 and 18. Financially he has given everything he owns. The problem is that ...
A. 2 March 2014: I'm so sorry, but I'm reading your letter and seriously wondering why you're still bothering.
Yes, he's been sweet, attentive, charming and kind but all players are like that.
This man was married for 25 years and cheated throughout, you ... (read in full...)
I am starting to get angry at his attitude!
Q. I have been dating a man for 3 years. I have stupidly "overlooked" some interesting behaviors on his part including: does he like and respect women? (Example: if it's breast cancer awareness month he goes on about how come its all about women? If ...
A. 1 March 2014: Think of his silence as a lucky escape and keep your fingers crossed that he doesn't contact you anymore.
There is nothing you could possibly do to make this man happy, he's the type of personality that will suck the joy out of everything in life.... (read in full...)
Natural birth questions
Q. These questions are for mothers who chose to have a natural birth with no pain medications. I am expecting my first baby this summer and i want to do it with out pain medications but my mother thinks i'm not strong enough to and iv hear some bad ...
A. 1 March 2014: Just to add, labouring in water (and birth too if you like the idea) is a wonderful form of pain relief.
TENS machines (do not use in water) are excellent too if applied in early labour and used throughout the whole labour. This machine stimulat... (read in full...)
She cheated on me with my cousin but now wants me back?
Q. My wife cheated with my cousin she said it was my falt i was in jail at the time she. said she didn't feel loved now I'm out she says she want me back i feel that she was lusting for him but now I'm hurt and don't no if i wanna be with her what ...
A. 1 March 2014: It must have been hard for her when you were in prison however if she still wants to be with you then she should have stood by you whilst you were in there and that includes being faithful.
I don't know why you were sent down and whether it was r... (read in full...)
Natural birth questions
Q. These questions are for mothers who chose to have a natural birth with no pain medications. I am expecting my first baby this summer and i want to do it with out pain medications but my mother thinks i'm not strong enough to and iv hear some bad ...
A. 1 March 2014: As a mother of 2 and a retired midwife, you're not alone in wanting a natural birth.
Every birth is different, every woman will have a different experience with each child she has.
For each natural birth with a desired outcome there will be a ... (read in full...)
Birth control question!
Q. Okay so I have been on birth control for about 4 months and after the first two months I've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend a bunch. A condom is not used AT ALL. Do you think I should have less sex, sex with a condom all the time, or ...
A. 1 March 2014: The birth control pill (if taken properly) will pretty much protect you against unwanted pregnancy. The % of protection varies depending on which pill you're taking.
It will NOT, however, protect you from any sexually transmitted diseases (STD's).... (read in full...)
I am waiting for the text that will ruin my weekend ...
Q. Hello. I will probably get the answer to this question either later on today or tomorrow from the source, but I was just curious to find out other people's opinions and whether or not other girls or guys out there have had a similar experience. I...
A. 1 March 2014: Firstly, YOU haven't blown anything, FA is right, she's playing it safe.
She's set all the rules and you've played by them. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't but if it doesn't, neither one of you is to blame.
It could just be that she isn'... (read in full...)
He is eight years older, I like him and I think he likes me!
Q. Ok so I'm at my moms friends house all the time ...I sleep here almost every night. She is like another mother to me and I've known her my whole life. She lives with her husband, her kids, and her brother in law. They are all like a family to me and ...
A. 23 February 2014: It's reassuring to hear that you're not intending to consider a sexual relationship with this guy.
He seems like a nice guy and you appear to be quite sensible, the one concern I have, if I'm honest, is where you are emotionally.
You say you'r... (read in full...)
Wrong name caused husband's family to miss flight to see ill family member. How do I help husband get over the guilt?
Q. The other night my husband's close friend's sister who lives in the south (we live in the north east) hung herself (very sad as there was no indication just 1 day before in social network posts). She was actually found and revived, then sent to a ...
A. 23 February 2014: The family will lash out, my love, due to their grief. In my experience of people dealing with bereavement, especially suicide, emotions run incredibly high.
In cases of suicide the family will feel guilt because they were not able to save her... (read in full...)
Do I keep blocking him or unblock him? I think how I've moved on is the best revenge?
Q. I had a few posts here and got really good advice. My ex dumped me nearly a year ago. We talked a few times. I initiated contact most of the times. I couldn't let go and get over him because we planned to get married before we broke up and he's my ...
A. 20 February 2014: Anonymous reader, your comments, although heartfelt and based on your own experiences aren't really offering the OP any practical help and advice on how to move forward and deal with her current situation.
Your bitterness is very evident and I ho... (read in full...)
How do I work my nurse's uniform for my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend has mentioned few months earlier that he like me in a nurses uniform...I have bought one as a special surprise for h..but I worried to how should I preform when I have it on .,,help...
A. 18 February 2014: I had to smile whilst reading this because as a nurse and midwife for 19 years I can honestly say CMMP is right, there is nothing remotely sexy about the real thing.
I think once you're all dressed up you will automatically know how to behave. ... (read in full...)
Do I keep blocking him or unblock him? I think how I've moved on is the best revenge?
Q. I had a few posts here and got really good advice. My ex dumped me nearly a year ago. We talked a few times. I initiated contact most of the times. I couldn't let go and get over him because we planned to get married before we broke up and he's my ...
A. 18 February 2014: I'm sorry, my dear, but you haven't moved on nearly as much as you think you have.
You say you're focusing on yourself, your life and your goal (which is to work abroad) but the entire thrust of your letter is about your ex!
Well done for... (read in full...)
Am I too unrealistic in wanting to find a guy who's not into porn or casual sex?
Q. Please don't be nasty with your replies but I would like to know the chances of finding someone who; 1. Hasn't got much of an interest in porn when in a relationship 2. Hasn't had a one night stand or a friend with benefits 3. Doesn't see...
A. 16 February 2014: I can't possibly give you an accurate answer of what your chances are but I can tell you that there are men out there who meet your criteria and I think it's lovely that you have high standards.
Just to be realistic though, a man who may fulfil y... (read in full...)
Is it too late for me to make my mother proud?
Q. When I think about how fortunate I am to have my mom, part of me thinks, ''why am I complaining?'' But part of me is hurting for my mom because I feel like I'm a worthless daughter and she deserves better. I'm at a point in my life where I feel ...
A. 16 February 2014: Firstly, I think you may have depression and it would benefit you greatly to speak to your doctor and maybe get some treatment.
Secondly, stop trying to be the world's best daughter, because I'll tell you now, that role does not exist, you can ... (read in full...)
Should I have talked to my Ex Husband?
Q. My ex husband and I have been separated for 3 and half years, due to his constant online cheating. After the split, things got ugly and he turned into a very ugly person, calling me names and threats, our kids dont talk to him. I saw him this wee...
A. 16 February 2014: Good for you walking away and no you should not have talked to him.
He treated you badly, threatened you, blocked you and even your kids won't talk to him!
It would have been two faced to pretend that you were pleased to see him. He's made h... (read in full...)
He said he doesn't believe in Valentines -- should I be hurt?
Q. My boyfriend of only a few month. Didnt see me on valentines day. And didnt get me a card or present. When i asked about it? He just said he didnt believe in all that none sense. I'm a little bit hurt about it but not sure whether i'm being over ...
A. 16 February 2014: My ex husband was really into Valentines day, would shower me with cards and presents, chocolates and flowers and I look back now and think, why?
He admitted when we divorced that he hadn't loved me for many years so, to me, it was just a socially... (read in full...)
Grandparent died, boyfriend left and I had a melt down at work!
Q. Im hoping for some good advice regarding my current situation. Just recently I lost my last grandparent, who I loved very much and meant the world to me. I am overcome with grief. today, my partner walked out saying he was fed up of my `diva li...
A. 16 February 2014: Thanks for the update OP, I think you've made a wise decision.
I hope you feel a bit better soon, my thoughts are with you.
AB x... (read in full...)
After a year of dating he is pressuring me to tell him where I live.
Q. Hi, I have been seeing this guy for almost an year, I know where he lives but he doesn't know where I live because he hadn't been interested but now he won't see me again untill I take him to my place. Why the sudden inerest? Problem is that he is ...
A. 16 February 2014: I think Aunty BimBim makes a good point, he probably wonders what the big secret is!
Imagine if this was the other way around and your boyfriend had been to your house but you didn't even know where he lived.
You might start to suspect that he ... (read in full...)
Grandparent died, boyfriend left and I had a melt down at work!
Q. Im hoping for some good advice regarding my current situation. Just recently I lost my last grandparent, who I loved very much and meant the world to me. I am overcome with grief. today, my partner walked out saying he was fed up of my `diva li...
A. 16 February 2014: I'll keep this as brief as I can.
You need to grieve for your grandparent, in fact all of your grandparents as the passing of your last one will open up the wounds of losing the others again.
Speak to your boss, tell him you need compassiona... (read in full...)
My holiday fling has stopped replying .....
Q. i met this guy a couple of weeks back while i was on vacation. we had a kind of a fling for a couple of days. he seemed super cool, super funny, and we had a great time together. after i got home we messaged each other a bit, and i thought there was ...
A. 16 February 2014: I'm with Uncle CaringGuy here, it was a holiday fling.
You both had fun and that's that! He probably texted a bit to be polite but then stopped because he's not looking for a relationship, it was just some holiday fun.
Enjoy the memories and... (read in full...)
I just cant forget and get the trust back!
Q. I took my boyfriend back after he cheated on me. the thing is I truely love him and cant let him go. He broke myy heart and i still feel numb. I know it's over between him and the girl, he endedit (she told me- after he ended it as she was angry ...
A. 16 February 2014: Wow! Sorry but I have to say this, we all make mistakes, and he may be genuinely sorry for his behaviour but, from reading your letter what really galls me is his excuse for cheating on you!
He's blaming you! He felt insecure because he didn't t... (read in full...)
My LDR called me names and doesn't want to speak with me anymore.
Q. Why is he so horrible? He's really broken my heart:(? So my bf have been dating 10 months long distance where he'd call me all the time. But lately he had been acting weird lately not calling as much, no I miss you to love you. Today I went out ...
A. 16 February 2014: He had a dream that you cheated on him, you went to party and that proves that you're fake? Is this guy for real?
In my experience, people treat others how they behave themselves, that's because their own behaviour is their only frame of referenc... (read in full...)
He broke up with me but I keep hearing how emotional he is about it!
Q. I'll try to make this as short as I can... About a month ago, my boyfriend of a year dumped me. His reasons for dumping me were, because he wanted to be single, he thought we were more like "buddies", and he was "tired of hurting me". Our ...
A. 16 February 2014: Take a step back and break this down.
You were only together a year. That really is a very short period of time in relationship terms, yet you say that year was turbulent.
The first year should be a fun, happy, getting to know you time not an ... (read in full...)
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