A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am hopelessly,helplessly,head over heels in love with a beautiful gorgeous doctor!We have been dating for 6 months now the last couple of months have been LDR but I make sure I see her every 2 weeks(I have been trying)..she's a nice and kind hearted woman but she's short tempered!which means she gets mad at me and gives me the silent treatment which inturn makes me miserable,I can't eat sleep when she is mad at me,if she's upset about something I can't focus..I recently had an arguement with her over this guy she works with,she was telling me abt some problem at work and i Was giving my opinion she immediately dismissed my opinion and told she'd ask this other guy for his opinion..I felt a little offended..she said instead of being offended I should appreciate there is another guy who is a good friend who helps her out, the other day I was very excited to come see her so all I kept talking about was when and how I'm going to see her,she got irritated saying that's all I talk abt,and don't talk about anything which puts added pressure on her since she has to take leave from work!I spent hours begging her to talk to me when she is mad..what am I doing wrong here? Idont want to lose her..
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female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (13 October 2013):
 I don't think your gorgeous doctor is as "in to you" as you are her I'm afraid.
She's clearly a strong personality and comes across in your letter as a little demanding and emotionally high maintenance.
You haven't been together very long but look, she gets angry with you for being excited about seeing her, she doesn't respect or want to listen to your opinions, she gives you the silent treatment if she's cross with you!
These aren't the actions of a woman in the first flushes of love or an exciting new relationship with a guy she wants to impress.
I feel that you are coming across to her as a bit insecure and needy by begging her to talk to you, when she wont, getting very excited about seeing but not talking about anything else, getting upset by her taking advice from other friends.
I think she's either a woman who needs a strong personality guy to be with, or she likes controlling you. Her behaviour is inconsiderate, tactless and unkind.
I can't see that there's much you can do about this. You could try and reign in your enthusiasm a bit when you're going to see her (although most woman would love the fact their new bf was so into them) and definitely stop pandering and begging her to talk to you when she gives you the silent treatment!
Her treatment of you is hurting you. It's making you lose sleep, stop eating and feel awful. It's reduced you to a begging, worried wreck! This isn't right. No one should make you feel like this.
You also shouldn't have to change who you are to stop her being angry. If a woman can't accept you and love you for being you then she's not the right woman for you.
Forget that she's gorgeous and that she's a doctor for a minute. If she was pretty but average looking, had a lovely but not wow figure, and worked in an office would you be so in love with her?
Perhaps you're in love with the idea and fantasy of having this beautiful, highly respected and professional girlfriend rather than getting to know the real her.
This might be her problem with you then again she might just be a not very nice person.
I hope this helps AB x
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