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... Send *unty Babbit a private message | | | *unty Babbit's profile:I was a nurse and midwife for 20 years, I am a mother of 2 children and have a stepchild. All are now adults OMG!
I am very happily married, second time round.
My husband has suffered depression (not caused by me lol) and we have luckily come through that.
I have often mediated for friends during breakups and am regularly asked for advice on all things in general.
I have a lot of friends and when I'm not working (in bereavement)I write my own books of poetry for children and illustrate them as well |
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He broke up with me but I keep hearing how emotional he is about it!
Q. I'll try to make this as short as I can... About a month ago, my boyfriend of a year dumped me. His reasons for dumping me were, because he wanted to be single, he thought we were more like "buddies", and he was "tired of hurting me". Our ...
A. 16 February 2014: Take a step back and break this down.
You were only together a year. That really is a very short period of time in relationship terms, yet you say that year was turbulent.
The first year should be a fun, happy, getting to know you time not an ... (read in full...)
His best friend doesn't like me, and my boyfriend acts like a jerk when his friend is around
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating a year and a month he moved in back in the summer.im 21 and hes 22. I dont go around his family or his friends because they dont like me his mom doesnt care to much for me for whatever reason I've only met her ...
A. 16 February 2014: I don't think you should care what his friends think but you should care about what HE thinks AND care about how he behaves.
Your boyfriend clearly cares about what his best friend thinks because he will treat you like a jerk when they are toge... (read in full...)
I was flattered that he watched me, then I saw him looking at others too
Q. Hello. I would like to have your opinions as i really don't know how to take it. I guess he may be interested in me. When i talk to him during lunch time, i notice that when a woman will pass by he will fix her, follow her with his eyes. He does the ...
A. 16 February 2014: Attention from the opposite sex is wonderful and makes us feel really good but it loses that "feel good" factor when that attention is not exclusively for you.
This guy might be nice but his actions are juvenile and a little creepy. I mean, he... (read in full...)
My LDR complains that I have a mixed personality
Q. It's a long distance relationship. I met this guy online and I've fallen in love with him. He use to text me everyday but for two weeks now, the texting has stopped. When he called this week he complained that I have a mixed personality and if I ...
A. 16 February 2014: I can only tell you what I really think and share what life experience I have.
You have known this guy for a very short time, text messages and written communications can very easily be misread and interpreted incorrectly.
That said I'm afraid ... (read in full...)
Am I reading these signs correctly? Is she being friendly or flirtatious?
Q. I'm lesbian and find this other lady gorgeous. Something about her drew me to her so I've been trying to find subtle reasons to be around her. We always give each other eye contact and even hold it and smile. Often times she talks with me she ...
A. 16 February 2014: You won't know until you ask her.
Ask her if she's aware that you're lesbian and take things from there. My guess is that's she's probably having the same dilemma you are.
I hope this helps AB x... (read in full...)
She knew I liked her, ignored me for a year, and is now engaged to someone else. Why message me now?
Q. So after being ignored by a girl for a year because I told her that I liked her. She has since gotten engaged she sends me a random faceb00k message after a year..."Hi. How you doing?". I reply simply..."I am OK, and u?". She replies..."all good". ...
A. 15 February 2014: Some women are very needy, they enjoy the attention of admirers and like to think that those guys are hung up on them even though they don't want a relationship with them.
I think this girl likes the fact that you admitted to her that you had feel... (read in full...)
The guy I've been dating is torn between taking things further with me or his female best friend. What should I do?
Q. Really need help So since early January I have been seeing this lovely guy, and we both really like each other and everything has been going so well but now just as we are on the verge of becoming boyfriend and girlfriend to one another he has t...
A. 15 February 2014: Hi OP, I'm sorry my love but I think if this guy really wanted to be with you, no-one would be able to prevent him getting together with you.
If he's undecided then it's because his feelings for you aren't strong enough.
Maintain your... (read in full...)
Do you have to hear the word love to be loved?
Q. Hi, well I said those magical words lastnite after watching the notebook, we been seeing each other for over eight years, I broke up with her couple of years ago, for a few months, cause she never says it back, but we got back together, she said it ...
A. 15 February 2014: Hi OP, I agree this must be very difficult for you, it takes courage to open up and tell someone that you love them and is therefore very hard to not hear it said back, it's almost like she's rejecting your feelings isn't it?
I think in a way she ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to be with me forever, but doesn't want to marry me? Do I leave?
Q. Hi, I'm in desperate need of advice. Anything is greatly appreciated! Here's what happened... I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 27. We've been together for almost 3 years. We both still live at home with our parents. He is my first boyfriend and I lost my ...
A. 1 February 2014: Why do you want to get married? Is it for the beautiful dress, the swirls of confetti, the awesome party? or is it because you want to be with the person you love the most in the whole world for the rest of your life?
I ask this because your guy... (read in full...)
Long distance boyfriend has moved to be with me and now I'm having second thoughts.
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years and he lived in Ireland but recently moved into my family home in England so we could save up for a mortgage. He has started working in a job that pays minimum wage and can't find anyt...
A. 1 February 2014: I think your doubts are less about his earning potential and more about your feelings for him.
If you truly loved him you would just be thrilled that he had managed to secure a job, in the harsh employment climate in our country at the moment, ... (read in full...)
What can I do to make my coach pay attention to me when I'm working out?
Q. If this doesn't make a lot of sense, I'm sorry I'm on my phone in my lunch break. Okay, i do judo and basically, me and a coach have been really good friends and have know each other for a while now. We flirt quite a lot and we get along well. Ho...
A. 1 February 2014: It's quite normal for a young person to develop a crush on a coach or trainer. It's quite normal (and often encouraged) for trainers and coaches to flirt with their clients both during and outside of training.
It IS however frowned upon for them... (read in full...)
If I make him dinner do I have to include meat?
Q. This is really, I guess, a question about etiquette. I am a vegetarian and the guy that I am seeing is not. He's been doing a lot for me lately and I want to try and return the favor, so I said I would cook him dinner one night soon. My issue is, if ...
A. 25 January 2014: I think you should cook him what you want too.
I have vegetarian friends and I cook vegetarian meals for them (and must admit they're delicious).
When I go to theirs they cook vegetarian meals for me.
My friends don't eat or handle meat... (read in full...)
Should I buy my boyfriend of 4 months the new Playstation 4?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid, I am in a LDR with a guy I met 4 months ago. We decided to make it official October of this year. Instead of exchanging gifts during Christmas time, it was a mutual decision for us to surprise each other with them in January when ...
A. 29 December 2013: I hate to say this but I think you're being played.
He tells you, when you ask, that he would like a PS4 and THEN tells you not to get it because it's too expensive. His other suggestions are then even more expensive!
4 months is a very short ... (read in full...)
He has been lying to me for two years, and I don't know what to do.
Q. me n my partners relationship is really rocky at the moment as alot of things have gone on n im on the verge of breaking up with him, we have 2 children so im scared. i found out from him something about his past......he was an escort.....people ...
A. 28 December 2013: I can understand that this must have been a massive shock for you and you say there have been a lot of things going on in your relationship that have caused problems.
Obviously this new information will not have helped.
Firstly I'm concerned th... (read in full...)
After one awful attempt at sex with my ex, how do I prepare for my current boyfriend?
Q. I recently entered a new relationship after being in a long term one for the majority of high school. I had sex once with my ex, to be blunt it was awful. I couldn't even feel him inside of me because there was so much pain. We were intimate ...
A. 28 December 2013: Female anon reader, if you're referring to my answer, then if you bother to read my profile you will see that I am a highly qualified medical expert in this field and DO know what I'm talking about!
If I am right then your answer could well mak... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is afraid of getting me pregnant so he wont have sex with me, what to do?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been together for four months now, and he barely has sex with me anymore, nowadays most of the time when we're having sex it starts with me practically raping him. I had a fear of getting pregnant, but when I found my ...
A. 26 December 2013: The answer to your question is contraception.
4 months is not long enough to truly know someone and, I'm sorry, but an attitude of "what happens, happens" is not sensible.
There are many different types of contraception available. Some ... (read in full...)
I said and then she said ..... so whose opinion matters?
Q. Hi, Basically me and my GF had a big arguement over something really pathetic. However I believe her comments towards myself were personal and hating. The arguement was over the tiny statement that I made regarding " I would never include reciepts ...
A. 26 December 2013: You are both entitled to your own opinions and it doesn't matter who's right!
There are many people who would agree with you and just as many who wouldn't, but in reality, as long as you do what you're comfortable with and so does she then wha... (read in full...)
After one awful attempt at sex with my ex, how do I prepare for my current boyfriend?
Q. I recently entered a new relationship after being in a long term one for the majority of high school. I had sex once with my ex, to be blunt it was awful. I couldn't even feel him inside of me because there was so much pain. We were intimate ...
A. 26 December 2013: I think you may have a condition called vaginimus. You can enjoy foreplay and penetration with a partner's fingers but will find that penile penetration causes immense pain.
This is because the vaginal muscles (at the entrance to the vagina) ... (read in full...)
I thought I was really into this guy but now I don't know!
Q. I thought I really was into this guy and now I am confused on my feelings for him. I met someone new that I am also really starting to enjoy. I was not confused about guy 1 until guy 2 came along and now I'm confused about both! We have slept ...
A. 26 December 2013: I think guy 1 will be confused, hurt and suspicious if you announce you want to slow things down.
In respect of guy 2, does he want a relationship with you or are you just guessing he might?
You haven't done anything wrong (yet) and you ca... (read in full...)
I am scared to tell him how much I feel just in case I get hurt!
Q. I've been dating for the last year but haven't found the spark with any of the guys. 6 months ago I decided to take up an opportunity to relocate to New York City from London with my current employer. However, I continued to date. Last month, I went ...
A. 26 December 2013: This is going to be hard for you both.
He didn't tell you of his travels and vice versa.
A long distance relationship will put a lot of pressure and commitment on both of you, at this point, that could destroy anything you both have.
I sugge... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't like gay people
Q. My boyfriend has some troubling attitudes on life, and I don't know what I can do (if anything) about it. The one that comes to the forefront more often than others is that he dislikes gay people. Not to the point where he would commit hate crim...
A. 15 December 2013: I agree with your comment about misplaced anger.
Your boyfriend has maybe had a very negative experience of same sex relationships so therefore will be using this as his frame of reference.
He is entitled to feel the way he does because we ... (read in full...)
Should I try and persuade her to date me again?
Q. Hi, I've never posted here before but here it goes. I dated this girl nearly three years ago. A friend set us up, and things didn't work out. I didn't know her that well and she didn't know me, not to mention the fact that I had just gotten my heart...
A. 15 December 2013: She may be acting disinterested to protect herself from rejection or embarrassment then again she may actually not be interested in you.
You say you dated three years ago but NOW you realise she's perfect for you.
Having stuff in common doesn'... (read in full...)
What is wrong with me? Why am I getting all the wrong kind of attention?
Q. Hello there. Ok,so I don't really know where to begin, so bare with me! Since starting university I started to really come out of my shell, I found my style (the pin-up/vintage look) and I felt great! The best I've ever felt,I've never felt parti...
A. 2 December 2013: I'm sorry but you say you have found your style and that it's vintage/pinup! Then you ask if you're attracting the wrong type of attention because your ugly?
You know darn well that your not ugly and if you had body image issues then you would no... (read in full...)
Why is he still friends with his ex if she cheated on him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months or so now, and I really love and care for him. His family and I get along really well, and I care for them a lot too. We never really have problems or fight, he's really nice and respectful, and we seem to ...
A. 2 December 2013: In a nutshell, he's still carrying a torch for her.
They broke up because of her infidelity NOT because he'd stopped loving her.
You admit that he wanted to get back together with her but couldn't because she had another boyfriend.
I ... (read in full...)
Is my ex worth the second chance?
Q. I broke up with my ex about 5 months ago. He had a temper and we found ourselves in regular arguments, every week or 2 weeks. It was never physical, but he said some pretty hurtful comments. I was done with crying all the time and ended it. The ...
A. 2 December 2013: Things may not feel dead between you but the fact of the matter is, you admit that your ex had a temper and was emotionally abusive to you.
You spent a majority of your time in tears until you reached a point where you couldn't take anymore.... (read in full...)
She lies to me a lot. It's confusing me. Can I trust her? Is there a future for us together?
Q. I am stuck and confused. Should I leave my long distance girlfriend of 7 months? So here my story goes.. I like and love this girl a lot, as we were classmates earlier for a year then she took admission somewhere and me somewhere else. We ...
A. 14 November 2013: You say you don't want to be alone but in reality you are.
This is a long distance relationship that does not appear to be going anywhere.
You have trust issues with this girl that might be considered understandable based on what you've writ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't he try working more hours a day before asking me for loans?
Q. Hi everyone. I am frustrated with my boyfriend of 4 years, but before I say anything to him I'd like to know what you think. He has flexible salesman working hours and seems to be always having things going on - taking time off to help his mom move ...
A. 13 November 2013: No you're not being unreasonable, not at all!
If your boyfriend needs extra money then he should work extra hours and earn it, that simple!
How patronising of him to suggest you don't understand his job! Of course you can't, he doesn't do any w... (read in full...)
Am I getting my hopes up for nothing?
Q. I left my ex because he has a temper, wasn't putting the effort into the relationship. That was nearly 5 months ago, we where only together for 6. After we broke up, he went through a few periods of talking to me and not talking to me. He didn't ...
A. 13 November 2013: This guy has a temper and put no effort into a relationship which only survived 6 months, which, I would like to point out, should be the best time ever in a new, exciting relationship!
He's manipulative, first he wants no contact, then he conta... (read in full...)
I'm tired of paying for her daughter's clothes!
Q. Ok, my girlfriend and I have been with each other for 10 months but are not living together. She has a 11 year old daughter from a previous marriage living with her. When she takes her daughter with us shopping I'm expected to pay. When I complain ...
A. 13 November 2013: All the other Aunties are right in my opinion, why are you still paying? Because she got mad?
My daughter is 12 years old and my husband is her step father, we have been together for 11 years and I do NOT expect him to buy her clothes or even my ... (read in full...)
Help me to help my teens
Q. This question is directed to teenagers 13-17. It has to do with romantic relationships and with relationships with your parents. Any help is appreciated. My son aged 15 met a wonderful girl this past summer. I really like her and hope that thi...
A. 13 November 2013: I don't think total privacy is a weird concept, it's about respecting your child's right to be an individual.
We talk about school, I ask them about their day, their friends and all manner of other things but I do not snoop through their bags, ph... (read in full...)
Help me to help my teens
Q. This question is directed to teenagers 13-17. It has to do with romantic relationships and with relationships with your parents. Any help is appreciated. My son aged 15 met a wonderful girl this past summer. I really like her and hope that thi...
A. 12 November 2013: It's really hard being a parent of teens, I have 2 boys of 16 and 15 years and a daughter of 12.
I know your interest in this matter is purely out of concern for your child's well being and I know how it feels to want to protect your kids but in m... (read in full...)
I can't manage to have sex for 2 hours, should I dump him?
Q. I do like having sex with my boyfriend bt i am facing the problem, he is sex rider n make me be on the mood with no doupts. My problem is he takes 2hours 2 make one round bt only if he use condom, when we sex without condom he takes 20-30 min then i ...
A. 12 November 2013: I think you need to talk to your boyfriend about this, tell him how much you enjoy having sex with him but, be honest, tell him that 2 hours of riding is just not doing it for you and that you don't enjoy it!
Condoms are very important if you're u... (read in full...)
I found a HIV-test. Did she cheat on me?
Q. I have a steady girlfriend from past 2 years. Before I came in her life she had around 5-6 men in her life. But I am sure that from past 2 years it's been just me. I moved to another town close by - 2 hour drive from my current place for a work ...
A. 12 November 2013: Anonymous reader, I did not suggest at any point that the OP need not be worried, I merely suggested that there are lots of reasons as to why someone may feel the need to have a test for HIV other than a sexual encounter with another person!
Of co... (read in full...)
I didn't say "I love you" to her, and now she considers kicking me out of her life!
Q. My girlfriend and I recently broke up and things have been going downhill from there. She said she needed time because she was so angry but I told her I needed her and she deliberately chose not to be there for me. That hurt me deeply. She still ...
A. 10 November 2013: I think you're both confused as to what love really is!
Love is not about how YOU feel it's about how the other person feels.
If you truly love someone you do everything in your power to make them happy, if they love you back they will be doi... (read in full...)
I found a HIV-test. Did she cheat on me?
Q. I have a steady girlfriend from past 2 years. Before I came in her life she had around 5-6 men in her life. But I am sure that from past 2 years it's been just me. I moved to another town close by - 2 hour drive from my current place for a work ...
A. 10 November 2013: Have you considered that an ex partner or friend of an ex partner has been in contact and advised her that he has HIV and that she should get tested?
Could she have had a needle stick injury (accidentally been pricked by a used syringe)... (read in full...)
I trust him, but I worry he will cheat on me!
Q. I trust my boyfriend but last time he went out with the boys he got drunk and slept another woman. Now he's out again and I'm afraid it will happen again. I want to trust that he will make the right choice this time. I just can't make myself stop ...
A. 10 November 2013: You won't like my answer but I speak as I find!
You are very young (16 or 17 stated on your post)so how old is your boyfriend?
I ask this because if he's of a similar age it's quite concerning that someone so young can get that drunk with his m... (read in full...)
Dealing with workplace infatuation?
Q. I have been with my partner for 5 years, we are in it for the long haul I believe. Some complaints here and there, but overall happy and a good couple. We've been planning to get married as soon as we stop moving around. Built a nice nest egg ...
A. 10 November 2013: This is probably just a case of the grass being greener on the other side OR your current relationship isn't right for you or what you really want.
In describing your relationship you say you have been together 5 years and are in it for "the lon... (read in full...)
Plumpy fat or tall with muscles?
Q. Girls/ladies i have a question for you! Please what does a lady prefer? A guy that is plumpy/fat or a tall guy that got muscles/workout? O.p I fall into later option...
A. 10 November 2013: Look around you at the couples there are.
They're all different.
We ladies don't all like the same thing, we all have preferences. It's the same for you guys, some of you like blondes, some like brunettes, some like catwalk model figures ot... (read in full...)
Do fathers have rights to know where their children are living?
Q. Does anyone know, either from a personally experience, or legally, does a father have right to know where his children are living? Story is: Bad relationship, physically and mentally abusive, also his current girlfriend is now causing trouble t...
A. 28 October 2013: Anonymous reader, You are very WRONG and your advice is frightening.
You may well be a father who has lost contact with his children, I don't know but think of this.
Yes father's have rights in regards to their children, but they only have t... (read in full...)
Haven't heard from my boyfriend since Friday, worrying that something's happened to him!
Q. This is probably more of a vent-my-feelings post than anything else, but I suppose I'm also looking for reassurance! I'm 22, he's 26, in a serious relationship etc. We're going on holiday together next week and I'm going out of my mind that somethin...
A. 28 October 2013: I don't think you have to make a big deal of it but I do think you should at least tell him how worried you were.
You don't have to be accusatory but, in the same way that he likes you to phone to say that you're home safe, you would like a text n... (read in full...)
Can he learn from this and remain faithful or am I dealing with a ticking time bomb?
Q. I found nasty texts on my boyfriend's phone to a friend of his about his pursuit of trying to find a woman to have sex with while I was out of town. He found a girl he was interested in while he was at a bar and proceeded to hit on her and relay the ...
A. 27 October 2013: Hi OP,
There was a lady on here a few days ago with exactly the same problem so here's a link to her question.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/messages-on-his-phone-were-at-a-minimum.html
I hope you find the answers there helpful.
... (read in full...)
Haven't heard from my boyfriend since Friday, worrying that something's happened to him!
Q. This is probably more of a vent-my-feelings post than anything else, but I suppose I'm also looking for reassurance! I'm 22, he's 26, in a serious relationship etc. We're going on holiday together next week and I'm going out of my mind that somethin...
A. 27 October 2013: I think if something had happened to him then someone would have contacted you by now.
You could call the local hospitals and see if he's been admitted or call the police and ask if there have been any accidents involving your boyfriend or any u... (read in full...)
Do fathers have rights to know where their children are living?
Q. Does anyone know, either from a personally experience, or legally, does a father have right to know where his children are living? Story is: Bad relationship, physically and mentally abusive, also his current girlfriend is now causing trouble t...
A. 27 October 2013: Your first obligation is to protect your children.
If this man has been mentally and physically abusive and so is his girlfriend, then you are putting yourself and your children in danger by letting him know where you are.
If he wants access ... (read in full...)
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