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... Send *unty Babbit a private message | | | *unty Babbit's profile:I was a nurse and midwife for 20 years, I am a mother of 2 children and have a stepchild. All are now adults OMG!
I am very happily married, second time round.
My husband has suffered depression (not caused by me lol) and we have luckily come through that.
I have often mediated for friends during breakups and am regularly asked for advice on all things in general.
I have a lot of friends and when I'm not working (in bereavement)I write my own books of poetry for children and illustrate them as well |
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Friend from childhood resurfaced. He's married and we started an affair. How can I end it?
Q. I'm a separated mom of 3 girls. In early May of this year, my childhood friend started coming around me and my kids. At first it was just casual visits and then he started making advances which I was totally against. I made it clear to him that we ...
A. 3 September 2013: He is the one cheating on his wife and what is worse is that he married her whilst being "in love" with someone else!
You're not setting a fabulous example to your girls seeing a married man regardless of the circumstances.
However, I th... (read in full...)
Is my fiance selfish? He wanted sex when I was ill and complained when he didn't get it.
Q. I was sick for three days during the week and had a stomach ache all three days. I ended up being very tired and going to bed early and even taking a nap during the day. My fiance wanted a midweek romp and not just a weekly, but I was sick. Nor...
A. 3 September 2013: I don't think he'd be there for you to be honest.
It's a very insensitive attitude to have toward someone you're supposed to care about!
I think you need to tell him how you feel and that his attitude was unreasonable and uncaring.
If ... (read in full...)
I need help leaving my emotionally abusive boyfriend.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 and a half years and I want to leave him but I don't know how. In a sense I am frightened of what he'll do if we break up. About 2 years ago, we broke up for 4 months. I moved on and dated someone else,...
A. 3 September 2013: OK, you need to beat this bully because this is abuse and he's blackmailing you but what you don't realise is that you're holding all the trump cards!
Go to your family and tell them exactly what you've told us in your letter. You don't have to ... (read in full...)
Are my friends right and I'm in denial?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I'm usually giving advice on this site, but some of the posts here had me rethink my dating behavior and my good friends recently hint that I might be in denial of something, so here's my story. Throughout my youth, I felt li...
A. 2 September 2013: Well obviously you like both genders but just haven't met the right person for you yet.
I do notice that you seem to be separating both sexual preferences though.
When you're "straight" you like being feminine and girly and like the dream o... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has body-image issues
Q. me and my girlfriend have been going out for almost 3 months now and everything is great i couldn't be happier. now two things id like advice on number one when im not with her for a few days which has been regular as I go to my mums w...
A. 2 September 2013: You sound like a nice guy and your relationship sounds good.
If your g/f has body image issues all you can do is reassure her how attractive you find her. Tell her stuff like you no longer use porn because you find her sexier than anything... (read in full...)
How do I stay strong when I tell him to get out?
Q. My boyfriend doesn't work, contribute to bills, rent, groceries and he is destructive. How do I stay strong when I tell him to get out? I met him in January of 2012 and he my first impression was not to feel like he was a very nice person. ...
A. 2 September 2013: Sorry but I speak as I find. Wake up!
This man is using you! You pay for everything, provide him with free bed and board and he treats you like rubbish, puts you down and plays around.
What the hell do you mean "how do you stay strong when you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is my father's slave! What to do?
Q. Hay everyone, my boyfriend of 5 months is a very good person (too good perhaps) and a bit workaholic, who would always help if he could. Otherwise he feels guilty about himself. On the other hand, my father is very egocentrical, quite egoisti...
A. 2 September 2013: Your father is being unreasonable and you have tried to tell him but he's stubborn, lazy and won't listen. Don't yell at your boyfriend, he's only trying to make a good impression on his potential future father in law. Instead explain to him th... (read in full...)
He's my one and only, and I feel like I missed playing the field
Q. Ok so I have been with my husband for 5 years we were 17 when we got together, a year later we had a son and got married. My problem is that he's the only person I've dated or had sex with ever! I find my self wondering wat It would be like to ...
A. 2 September 2013: Hi, What an amazingly understanding husband you have. How would you feel if your husband said the same thing to you? Would you be ok about letting him play the field, would you wait for him and take him back if it didn't work out? I think t... (read in full...)
Why was my friend trying to force me to kiss him? Is he gay? Jealous?
Q. Hello cuties, I'm here again seeking your advice. As some of you might know, there's something going on with one of my friends. For those not aware of the situation ,you can check out my previous post so you can understand where I am coming from: ...
A. 2 September 2013: Hi there, WiseOwlE is right, this guy needs to come out or back down! Ask him outright what his game is! Only he knows the answer. Personally, I think he's gay and I think he's attracted to you and jealous of your new love interest. Howev... (read in full...)
Is possible to maintain a friendship with this person while postponing a romantic relationship for at least a year?
Q. Any advice for maintaining a friendship with a potential love interest? I have fallen head over heels for someone, but neither of us are in a position of getting into a relationship. He lost his job and is living with his parents, and I am in the ...
A. 2 September 2013: Umm, how long is a piece of string? So how long is the right amount of time to wait? Why a year? How is that a magic time frame? 1)You're both attracted to each other. 2)What does it matter that he has no job at the moment and is living with hi... (read in full...)
If he loves me, shouldn't he want to be intimate more often?
Q. My husband and I are celebrating our second wedding anniversary in October. We have been together for 6 years and have two beautiful but trying daughters. This weekend we had a huge fight and when I confronted him about the fact that he doesn't ...
A. 2 September 2013: Based on your last update, this sounds exactly like my first husband (I've only had 2 and am still with the 2nd :D). We were together 6 years and after the birth of our first child we never went out as a couple, had alone time together, went o... (read in full...)
Torn between the girl leaving for university, and the local one.
Q. I'm not sure what to do, I'm in a boat I've never been before. I've been getting close to a friend of mine all summer, we both knew she was moving away to university 200 miles away and I gave her the option of either making things a proper relatio...
A. 2 September 2013: I'm struggling to see how you've been an idiot. You're over thinking things. You liked a girl she liked you, she moved 200 miles away to go to school. You told her you had feelings for her and said she could be your g/f properly now or have a ... (read in full...)
Am I gay, bisexual or just confused?
Q. I need advice from the gay community. I have always been fascinated by the female body, their anatomy, their ability of being able to multiple and intense orgasms and being capable to be stimulated by their clit or vagina. I think I would have ...
A. 2 September 2013: I don't think you're gay or bi-sexual. I think you are a man who would enjoy dressing up and role playing as a woman for sexual gratification. This is sometimes classed as a fetish. Men who enjoy this fetish like to dress in sexy lingerie, ... (read in full...)
If he loves me, shouldn't he want to be intimate more often?
Q. My husband and I are celebrating our second wedding anniversary in October. We have been together for 6 years and have two beautiful but trying daughters. This weekend we had a huge fight and when I confronted him about the fact that he doesn't ...
A. 2 September 2013: Has he lost his libido or has it always been low? If he's lost it he should maybe see a GP, lose weight (if he's gained it) and stop smoking (if he does). If it's always been low then his GP may be able to give him something to help. The pr... (read in full...)
Fallen For My Best Friend Who Has Now Come Out. Help!
Q. Hi everyone, I'm after a bit of a help now on a rather confusing situation to say the least. I'll start from the beginning as there are too many bits and bobs adding to the confusion! I'm a 20 year old girl, who did the classic and fell for her...
A. 2 September 2013: I can see how hard this been for you and I get why but I'm not so sure he led you on for year deliberately. I believe he was in a transition period, unsure of his sexuality and probably in denial. He maybe tried to develop feelings for you... (read in full...)
I am a male and hate that I get emotionally (but not sexually) attracted to other men. Is this normal?
Q. I am 23, and I've started finding myself getting emotionally attracted to men and I HATE it. I don't feel sexually attracted to them, only emotionally, sure there are some physically attractive men, but it only goes as far as looks and emotional ...
A. 2 September 2013: The East Midlands is no more homophobic than anywhere else in Great Britain and in reality is totally irrelevant to how you feel. Moving somewhere else will not change your feelings. You say that your not sexually attracted to men but em... (read in full...)
Boyfriend spends so much time with his friends that I feel we are missing quality time together.
Q. I am in a relationship with someone for a year. He is the love of my life..we are both in our late twenties. I know we love each other very much. He puts me first in so many ways and I do the same as well. I know I want to spend my life with him and ...
A. 2 September 2013: This is a difficult one because it's very natural for you to want to spend more quality time with your b/f but it's also reasonable that he spends time with his friends too. I think you need to find out what your b/f wants to do. Hopefully yo... (read in full...)
Are her actions saying "leave me alone"?
Q. hi all. im a 22 old boy going to medicine university who just broke up with my gf of 4 years because of continuous fights recently. recently i added a gilr on fb who is a medical student too (one year yonger). i had never seen her at school but i ...
A. 2 September 2013: I don't think she's not interested and why on earth should you suddenly think you're boring? You could send her a friendly message asking how she is and how things are going for her. Depending on the warmth of her reply you could maybe go on ... (read in full...)
He used me but I still can't get over him
Q. So, I'll cut to the chase as quickly as possible, and i'm not trying to sound desperate if it comes off that way. This boy I've liked for almost a year is just absolutely amazing. But i found out some things about last year that is too much to ...
A. 2 September 2013: This young man obviously has a way with the ladies and likes the benefits it's affording him, such as free lunches and lots of attention. He does not return your feelings because if he did he would be seeking you out and buying you lunch and ta... (read in full...)
I like her, but she is going through a divorce and I'm confused
Q. I'll try to make this quick. I'm 33, I met this girl(mid 30's) who I would see occasionally at her work when I stopped by there. I'm kinda shy and she was always busy so we didn't talk much. I got her number, texted her but her responses seemed ...
A. 2 September 2013: She has your number, if she wants to speak to you she knows how. She's got a lot going on and right now a relationship doesn't factor into her life. When I was going through a divorce, dating and new guys were the last thing on my mind. Qu... (read in full...)
Should I cut ties with my friend so her brother (my ex) will accept her again?
Q. I never really got over my ex boyfriend when he broke up with me. It's been 5 years since we split and he is marrying the woman he started dating right after we broke up. We had dated for almost 4 years and planned on marriage. About 6 months before ...
A. 2 September 2013: The saying goes "You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family" - how very true that is! You should not break anything off with your ex's sister. Her brother is behaving like a spoilt little boy. He broke up with you for his rea... (read in full...)
I get cold feet as soon as I get a date
Q. Hey all! So I've joined a dating website and have been approached by many people. I like the attention and getting dates is not the problem. Its going on them. I get cold feet a day before a date or when a guy fixes a date. I stop talking and...
A. 2 September 2013: I think the problem may be that the guys you're meeting are strangers and that's scary. Try to get to know them or chat for a bit on the phone before you meet for a date then you'll have a better idea of who you are meeting. For the actual ... (read in full...)
Why my friend co-worker guy stands in my personal space/ touches me ( supposedly) accidently? How show him I'm not interested?
Q. Dear all, There is a gut at my work place that sometimes we need to work closely together on projects. There is never any personal talks with this guy, but everybody jokes a bit at work.so, the friendship I am referring to is actually just be...
A. 2 September 2013: That sounds like a very good idea and the right thing to say but please remember that if he doesn't respect that and stop this behaviour you must report it. Good luck. AB x... (read in full...)
I think I have a physical sexual problem but don't want to tell my mom! What should I do?
Q. I don't know if I should be asking for this kind of advice on here or not but I don't know where to go with it. I'm shy and don't want to speak to/show my mum, but I have a problem with my vagina, i don't know how to explain the problem and i am not ...
A. 1 September 2013: If your GP surgery has a practice nurse you can book in to see her, if the receptionist asks the reason just say it's personal.
Alternatively you can Google the address and telephone number for your local well woman clinic, you can ask to be seen ... (read in full...)
We had a fight and now I have to beg for sex but its been a month!
Q. Dear Cupid I am with my bf for 3 years, we had our ups and downs. Currently i live 3 hours drive from him cause of work, will be going back in max 6 months. A month back we went for a weekend trip, it was a diaster as he was hanging out in...
A. 1 September 2013: Why do you stay?
This guy sounds selfish, mean and controlling.
What he's doing to you is emotional abuse and it's working, you're saying you feel low, dirty and disgusting. There's no reason he should make you feel this way. You've done noth... (read in full...)
Why my friend co-worker guy stands in my personal space/ touches me ( supposedly) accidently? How show him I'm not interested?
Q. Dear all, There is a gut at my work place that sometimes we need to work closely together on projects. There is never any personal talks with this guy, but everybody jokes a bit at work.so, the friendship I am referring to is actually just be...
A. 1 September 2013: This is a horrible situation for you because if you tackle him he could say it was accidental and make it look like you're overreacting when you know you're not.
I think that when you're alone together you need to tell him that his behaviou... (read in full...)
Is 6 weeks after a break up too soon to date/make out?
Q. I'm an 18 year old girl. I broke up with my boyfriend nearly 6 weeks ago and I'm going on a date with another guy in a few days. Is that too soon/tacky to go on a date with a new guy? Also, how far is too far on a first date? I've met this guy once...
A. 1 September 2013: You broke up with your ex so if you feel ready to move on then it's not too soon.
As to how far you go? That's up to you.
If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it.
Your body is a private and personal thing and should be shared only wh... (read in full...)
Broke up with BF but think he was my soulmate
Q. Broke up with my ex bf over 6 months ago (we were together 5 years) because we had different lifestyles and he wasn't there for me when I needed him to be. I know breaking up was the right choice but I miss him so much now. He's haunting my thoughts ...
A. 1 September 2013: I believe that if your ex b/f was your soul mate then he would have been there for you when you needed him.
If he was your soul mate you would still be together.
You admit that you're looking back and only seeing the good, and that's lovely th... (read in full...)
My ex says he wants me back, I love him but I'm afraid he'd hurt me again. How do I move on?
Q. My ex called after 4 months of break up. He dumped me and was very mean when he broke up with me. He said he misses me and still loves me. I'm always the one he wants to marry. I told him I'm not going to get back with him because he hurt me t...
A. 1 September 2013: Uncle CMMP is right. I think you need to carry on moving on.
He treated you appallingly yet he wants to marry you?
You don't dump someone unkindly then 4 months later decide they're the "one".
Honey, move on, you deserve more than this, ... (read in full...)
I like this guy but he's recently single and not looking for anything serious.
Q. I have a guy friend who I have feeling for and who until recently had a girlfriend. Anyway recently he keeps trying to hook up with me but in like a flirty jokey way which I wouldn't mind except for the fact he clearly doesn't want anything serious ...
A. 1 September 2013: Are you sure he isn't looking for anything more serious with you but might be hiding it in a jokey way in case you're not interested? Talk to him, privately, ask him if he means it or if he's messing with you, because you do like him. If he co... (read in full...)
Funky odor "downstairs" has me worried!
Q. my vagina really has been having this really funky embarrasing odor latley and I'm not sure why. I've never had sex before. is it infected?? how can I get the smelly odor away. also. I don't wanna tell my parents cuz I'm embarrassed ...
A. 1 September 2013: It sounds like Bacterial Vaginosis or BV. This is NOT a sexually transmitted condition and is caused by a change in acidity in the vagina. You may notice a watery/grey discharge also although not all sufferers have this, the fishy odour is th... (read in full...)
I feel so betrayed when my boyfriend masturbates
Q. I feel so betrayed when my boyfriend masturbates. Here recently he's been looking at porn just bout everyday even with me being in the same house/next room. I have very low self esteem and I feel like he doesn't want me anymore and when we do have ...
A. 1 September 2013: Your b/f has a high sex drive (very normal for a man in his prime). If he came to you every time he needed release, believe me, you'd soon get annoyed. Masturbation is just a release of sexual tension and pornography a visual stimulant (... (read in full...)
Help with boyfriend please. He's been increasingly distant, with no contact for past 5 days.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He's 35 and I'm 31. We don't live together but see each other a few times a week and will stay over at the other's house on the weekends. Things the last 6 months or so have been so horrible. We basicall...
A. 1 September 2013: I know you feel sad and lost and I feel for you. Firstly, though, I think you need to really look at this relationship. You've been together for 3 years and see each other at weekends and a few times during the week, but you say the last 6 mon... (read in full...)
How much will it cost per month to have a girlfriend? Outings,gas, gifts, clothes? I need to factor the cost into my budget
Q. How much does a girlfriend cost per month? Do not bother replying if you say "priceless" or "too much" as those sayings are far too old and a scapegoat. Women, don't bother replying with bs that you are free, and don't tell me that you always pay ...
A. 1 September 2013: Just show any potential girlfriend your letter and you won't have to worry about having one! How can anyone possibly put a price on something like that anyway? Give us more details and I'll have an accountant look at it for you. Where doe... (read in full...)
Text, secrets, maybe lies?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for almost a year and we've been living together for six months. We came together very passionately and have spent our time together whenever possible, almost to the exclusion of other friends. I encouraged her t...
A. 1 September 2013: Trust takes ages to build but once broken is very hard to get back. You're suspicious of her behaviour and I can see why but snooping is never the right thing to do. I have always believed that people treat others as they themselves are be... (read in full...)
I snooped on her computer and don't like what I found!
Q. a couple of months ago i was visiting my LD girlfriend and i had lots of time alone at her place while she was at school. i snooped into her computer historial out of couriosity and i found she had visited some hook up site afew times for the last ...
A. 31 August 2013: You say you have never had genuine reason to doubt her yet, when she's not around you snoop through her computer!
Curiosity killed the cat and you have found information which has now given you cause to doubt her.
So now what do you do?
I... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is convinced he is not "BIG" enough.
Q. Hello dear internet, I have nowhere else to turn and thus I find myself here requesting your genial and honest advice. This is mostly an appeal to men, personally as a woman I don't understand it but anyone who can offer advice I will be very ...
A. 31 August 2013: I'm not a guy, sorry but as an ex nurse, midwife, practice sister etc I've seen many male genitalia in various states of arousal.
Men vary considerably when flaccid (as they quickly learn in the showers at school) but when erect are all pretty m... (read in full...)
I'm curious about what my girlfriend meant.
Q. My girlfriend told me that she will always love me for who I am no matter what comes or happens in between....From a female perspective, what does that mean? I'm just curious as hell. Please help............
A. 30 August 2013: I'm a woman and I'm confused, I think you need to ask her.
AB x
... (read in full...)
Secretive girlfriend! How do I approach this?
Q. Been reading through articles on here and they are very useful. However I need some advice still. My g/f has become extremely secretive with texts and calls over the past month or so. There's a guy she's been speaking to and she has become quite ...
A. 30 August 2013: I agree, this doesn't look good but snooping is never the right thing to do.
Trust has already broken down and with reasonable cause.
I think you need to talk to your g/f, tell her what is bothering you and why, explain it like you have in your... (read in full...)
It feels like she is trying to play psychological warfare with me!
Q. Recently my gf broke up with me for no real reason at all. But anyways aside from that I have been trying to move on with my life but it’s been really hard. It really feels like she is trying to play psychological warfare with me. She’s flat out ...
A. 30 August 2013: Your conclusion seems bang on to me.
I think that's exactly what she's doing. It shows how immature she is, not to mention tactless.
Hopefully her actions will make the pain of you losing her easier to bear.
Real friends will see right t... (read in full...)
I like my friend but she has a boyfriend. Want to end this friendship but don't want to regret it.
Q. Hi, so kind of a long question here. So a while ago I ended up telling one of my friends that I liked her as more than a friend and that I had very strong feelings for her. Anyway she was super cool about it but said that she only saw me as a ...
A. 29 August 2013: It's such a shame for you that your friend doesn't see you in the same way. All the while you hang out together, though, I can't see this situation improving for you (unless you meet someone else) but I don't see why you have to cut her out of y... (read in full...)
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