A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:This is my first time trying something like this but I feel like I need to get it off my chest.Okay, so I'm a 19 year old male who is still a virgin which is one of the things bothering me. I broke up with my ex nearly 2 years ago and since then I haven't so much as held hands or kissed another girl.In my workplace there are over 500 people yet only around 20 girls, I don't really do that many social activities in my spare time so I'm just getting really worked up about where I'm ever going to meet someone. Recently I've been on a few dates with a girl and after last nights date I asked her to be my girlfriend, and basically she shot me down and implied nothing is ever going to happen, which makes me annoyed cause she's kinda led me on a bit and it's just increased my anxiety. Furthermore it's making me more and more paranoid that there's something fundamentally undateable about me, and I just can't seem to stop thinking the worst in any situation, I struggle to get to sleep, most nights it'll take me at least an hour to get to sleep cause my mind is just racing with all kinds of worries. At 19 years old surely I shouldn't be feeling this anxious and worried about everything? It's probably just one of those things I'll look back on in the future and laugh about because it seems so trivial, but I just don't know what to do.Bottom line is; I'm worried about still being a virgin at 19, I'm absolutely terrible with girls, and I just can't see where I'm ever going to meet someone ever!It feels good to get it off my chest, any advice is much appreciated.
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female
reader, Anonny +, writes (18 July 2015):
To me 19 is still a child! You have many years (decades even) to find that special woman!
Plus why do you need to lose your virginity to them? What's wrong with just getting close to a girl until the time is right for other things? Just because that's what all the porn sites are showing - it doesn't mean that's the way to behave or act! Internet porn & sex is for making money - & mainly out of young people like you who think that's all there is in life.
Rest assured that plenty of people haven't lost their virginity by 19! They may pretend they have to look cool - but they probably haven't!! You are so young - get out & enjoy life first, then you may even meet a woman that you could even settle down with!! Good luck!
A
female
reader, Euphoria30  +, writes (18 July 2015):
Dear OP,To me, it sounds like there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. I feel you're just painting the picture too dark.You already had a girlfriend once, so for sure you're not undateable. And even though you don't have many opportunities to find girls to date, you just recently dated a girl. It lead nowhere, okay, but that will happen to you over and over again during your life and you'll learn it's just a natural part of dating. And if you were so undeateable, that girl wouldn't have agreed to go on dates with you in the first place.I didn't have my first real kiss until I was 20 and lost my virginity at 21. I know the insecurity of feeling "late".. but I can tell you, as a grown up I made up for it ;). It's a good idea to put some effort into the basic things you can do to increase your chances of dating: - Being socially active- Look for dates on-and offline- take care of your body, looks, healthBut other than that, don't worry too much and don't take rejection too personal. Don't put yourself down. Be your own best friend and your own dating coach. Be honest with what you could improve, but also have a friendly attitude towards yourself and don't think you have to become a completely different person in order to be loveable. We are all born with the potential to love and be loved.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2015): There is nothing wrong with you being 19 and a virgin. And you are still young, just have fun, I don't think you should put to much pressure on yourself about finding a girlfriend. It'll happen in time. And when you find the right girl she won't care that you are a virgin.
I'm a girl but I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20. But I regret how it happened.
If you really want to find a girlfriend then I say do more social stuff. But you'll find someone eventually :)
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