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What can I say to my long term partner who has given me Gonorrhea?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Health, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 October 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 4 October 2015)
A female Ireland age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My long standing partner has given me gonorhhea as far as im aware and i can suspect where it came from!

It makes me sad rather than angry and i realise he has been directing a lot of anger towards me lately.

I dont want to see him now anyway because i am run down and fed up.I just wish i had one of those perfect lines ready to say but i cant think of one-its as if my brain has been freeze dried.

It is very definately over with this situation and i feel that whoever donated it to him will have blamed me for the germs but i know i am innocent!

But i have to clean up this mess!It is a double whammy and i am expecting to hear more rumours over the next few days and weeks.

I don't have anything clever to say at all so i would appreciate an outside perspective.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2015):

Goodbye!

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A female reader, Anonny United Kingdom +, writes (3 October 2015):

If he is your long term partner - how come he was sleeping around without you suspecting? At your age (or any age really) you should never enter into sex until you are sure of your partner's full commitment to you & until you are sure - you should avoid sex or sex without protection at least.

It sounds to me you have been naive. You are so young & obviously don't know the dangers that are out there involving casual relationships & STDs. You say he was your long term partner - but realistically how well do you really know him? Not well enough obviously.

Like the others say - get yourself checked out & keep from having a sexual encounter with another person until you are clean & both 100% committed!

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (3 October 2015):

Abella agony auntHi

There is no shame in getting treatment so please do approach the health service nearest to you to get the help you need.

Ireland http://www.hse.ie/eng/health/hl/yoursexualhealth/

Help line for Ireland 1850 24 1850

Sexually transmitted diseases and infections can have a long term negative effect on your health and your fertility if not treated.

Forget about coming up with any witting cutting remark. Just concentrate on your health and recognise that he has been playing around and may have a long term infection himself. He is dangerous to your health and the health of anyone he has sex with.

He is also very nasty if he knew he had this infection and chose to not tell you.

He surely knew when he contracted it due to the symptoms.

Gonorrhea symptoms in men:

Greenish yellow or whitish discharge from the penis

Burning when urinating

Burning in the throat (due to oral sex)

Painful or swollen testicles

Swollen glands in the throat (due to oral sex)

In men, symptoms usually appear two to 14 days after infection.

Gonorrhea symptoms in women

Greenish yellow or whitish discharge from the vagina

Lower abdominal or pelvic pain

Burning when urinating

Conjunctivitis (red, itchy eyes)

Bleeding between periods

Spotting after intercourse

Swelling of the vulva (vulvitis)

Burning in the throat (due to oral sex)

Swollen glands in the throat (due to oral sex)

When you get treated do ensure that they thoroughly check for any other sexually acquired infections.

for instance Syphilis can be diabolical and lead to terrible results.

Walk away from him and do not look back. He is not worthy of your time nor your attention.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2015):

Go to a clinic and be checked for all STD's, to include syphilis,chlamydia,yeast infection, and HIV. He doesn't use condoms; so he's dirty. Do not wait for treatment of the gonorrhea. You must start antibiotics immediately! The HIV test will have to be done 30 days from the last time you had sex.

If you catch an STD from anyone, that means they don't practice safe-sex and they could have exposed themselves to the filthiest sexually-transmitted diseases. They may have spread infection to a number of people.

If you are going to be sexually-active, you should take precautions to protect yourself. Insist on condoms! It will also protect you from unplanned pregnancy. I don't care what a guy tells you about a condom, if he doesn't like to use them; consider him dirty and irresponsible. Same goes for females who don't think condoms are necessary. You are young and inexperienced. So you didn't use the best judgment. Now you know first-hand why you should use condoms.

You jeopardize your life when you don't practice safe-sex.

HIV is not curable. It can be silent and symptom free until it becomes full-blown AIDS. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm trying to save your life. Sex is a responsibility. If you want to practice adult behavior; then be as responsible as an adult. It's your health and life at stake here. HIV is not a gay disease. If you catch any STD from anyone, that person could have been exposed to anything.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI hope you have been checked out and are on meds to clear up the gonorrhea!

Secondly, you are 16-17? And your "long time" partner? gave this to you ? I wouldn't want to talk, touch or be anywhere near his STD infected and infecting person. 16-17 with gonorrhea? That just shouldn't happen.

I would make sure EVERYONE knows HE gave it to you. Now where HE got it from? less important, because you can only really guess.

What is MORE important than having something "clever" to say that in go buy condoms and from NOW on do NOT have sex without condoms (and NOT till the gonorrhea had been cleared) At 16-17 you REALLY need to keep yourself HEALTHY and STD free.

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