A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My new girlfriend of 2 months is a virgin and found this out when I tried to take our relationship a little further. She started crying and said that she would find it embarrasing to have sex with me and just kept on saying that she says that when I will see her naked that I will just dump her on the spot I told her not to be silly and to stop it but am not sure how to deal with this.I sent her a letter 2 weeks ago and received a text from her telling me to find somebody else as she wont be any good at sex as she wont know what to do, and get it wrong and then I would dump her and she is 36 and I am 50.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2015): way more shocking to hear of a woman being a virgin this age than it is for a man
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015):
It sounds like downplaying the importance of the whole thing when you say "don't be silly." This is a HUGE, GIGANTIC deal to her. There is no such thing as a 36yo virgin who doesn't have strong feelings about losing it.
You meant well and your message was basically okay, but your choice of words may have done harm. She needs to feel like you understand her right now and this is anything but silly to her. Do encourage her to relax, but don't cross over into criticizing her discomfort.
...............................
A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (9 May 2015):
 It sounds like she has yet to have sex( with you or anyone else) because she has major body issues.Has she ever come close to having sex? how close and why didn't she follow through? This can be very common in young girls but at her age it's very immature. How do YOU feel about all this? Are you willing to take it slowly and "teach" her? maybe she can start by doing what adolescents do before they have sex. You can try make out sessions at first and next time the clothes can slowly come off and then next time kissing can progress to fondling.......fondling to fingering........etc. you can also watch sexy movies together( porn might be too much for her) so she can learn and be comfortable with the idea of what people do in bed.If you really like her as a person, give her a chance, if you're on the fence then find someone more experienced and confident. Good luck hun!
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonny  +, writes (9 May 2015):
She sounds like she has low self esteem - so try to reassure her that she won't be dumped!
Maybe there are religious reasons too why she is unwilling - so maybe chat to her a bit more & see.
At least you are concerned enough to care. Good luck!
...............................
|
