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I am almost certain my boyfriend is back in touch with his ex, but he won't admit it. How can I know for sure?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 July 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 19 July 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a strong gut feeling that my boyfriend is in touch with his ex the last couple of days through Facebook. He admitted that he looked up her profile yesterday but He has denied talking to her but I'm 90% sure because I trust my gut feelings usually I am right. He's been online on Facebook constantly today which is unusual for him. I wouldn't have access to any of his accounts or anything so how the he'll do I prove this. I don't mind if he is talking to her for a catch up or if it's innocent but I don't know what to do.

View related questions: facebook, his ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2015):

Hi again. If he is truly commited to you, tell him you don't want him looking her up, that she is his past and when he looks her up she becomes part of the here and now. You are his priority now, and if it upsets you he shouldn't be doing it, especially if its upsetting you, he should put ur feeling of that first x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2015):

Thanks all. They were together for a year about 5 years ago. She was very manipulative of him and had him wrapped around her finger. He found the break up very tough but he broke up with her. We are together about 3 years. Planning a baby and marriage. He says he is completely happy with his life and was just curious. I don't think he got in touch with her in the end. But he was looking her up in a weird stalkish way like Google and FB and all sorts. He seems so happy with me though.

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A female reader, MSA United States +, writes (15 July 2015):

MSA agony auntThere isn't a sure way to find out if they messaged on FB unless you go into his FB Messenger to check.

If it bothers you that your boyfriend contacts his ex, then simply tell him that you don't want him to contact her or even look her up. If he agrees then you know that he won't do it or he will be betraying your trust.

If he refuses then I would ask to look at his FB Messenger.

Good Luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2015):

At first I thought FB was great and loved getting likes from the people who mattered. Today, not so. Not that relationships can't be ruined in other ways but FB has played a major role for many. Today........I hate FB! Trust your gut.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2015):

Hi. I am curious- why has he liked her up at all? And why would you be ok with him bring in contact? How long have you been together? How long was their relationship?

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (14 July 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntI suggest you give up the concept of " and innocent catchup.." with his ex-..... IF'n he is in-contact with her... then you (and him and your "relationship") is now in a flux that only ends when HE decides what and where HE wants to be....

You can push the matter by saying to him: "I'm really not "sold" that there's any benign reason for you to be in-touch with your ex-.... but I'll listen to whatever justification you'd like to offer for how and why that came about. IF I'm not happy with what you have to offer, you will soon be single and free... and YOU CAN HAVE HER BACK!!!!"

I don't understand why women allow men to get away with these shenanigans.....

Good luck....

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A female reader, Anonny United Kingdom +, writes (14 July 2015):

That's the trouble with internet social sites - you just DON'T know for sure what people are up to, who they are talking to or when it is happening, unless you are watching them all day or have access to their account!!

To save you going mad with curiosity - all you can do is ask your boyfriend & hope he tells you the truth - failing that - you will just have to trust him. If he has no more feelings for his ex - I wouldn't worry about it too much.

One or two of my ex's have got in touch with me, in the past since we split - but I have no feelings for them whatsoever & look on them as more of an irritating distraction more than anything else!

Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2015):

Trust your gut. I know mine is 9 times out of 10 correct! It might be innocent it might not be. I would just ask him outright, just say you have a gut feeling he's been in touch with his ex. Say its OK, you just would appreciate his honesty. He might deny it. Watch his reaction. If its iffy then its not innocent. Hope you find the truth!

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