A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex fell out with me and dumped me for another woman who is still a friend of mine on Facebook. I know he was seeing her before we fell out - hence the argument - although she always maintained she didn't know we were still together.However, not wanting to seem bitter or call her a liar, we still kept in touch, although things aren't the same now as we don't really trust each other.The question is - it was months ago when all this happened, I have no feelings for my ex anymore, but I still get very jealous knowing they are still close whereas he refuses to speak to me altogether.I am meant to be meeting up with the girl and others for a night out soon - but we rarely keep in touch - So apart from deactivating my facebook account - or blocking her which would be unneccesary - what can I do to stop thinking about the situation and being jealous of her? I am not jealous of any other women he is around - only her.Please help. I am not wanting another relationship yet either - so moving on elsewhere is not an option for me.
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facebook, jealous, liar, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2015): If you have to go on this night out dont dress to kill and dont stress about it or drink to much ...have some handy one liners ready like " well, i just didnt fancy a threesome !" or "I know all about what he likes in bed but i'm not prepared to provide it" Or " Thank God I never got pregnant ..or they'd want the baby at weekends to play mummy and daddy". Or sell your story to a magazine and get a photographer to follow you around ...Or just show up briefly for a bit and vanish to another venue or for a meal with good friends..or wrap a box of tissues and a packet of condoms and give them to him/her. Or try to imagine him as a lady boy...or just be mysterious and ignore the whole fiasco and dump them both that night by being absent which would probably take the wind out of their sails a bit.
A
female
reader, Anonny  +, writes (9 May 2015):
It is one thing to be betrayed by your ex, but to be betrayed by a girl you thought was your friend as well is doubly bad. It's no wonder feelings of hurt, jealousy & mistrust arise.
We are all human at the end of the day. Hopefully time will heal and he will soon get sick of her in time as well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015): Thanks to the other Anon person too. No the night out is not for a couple of weeks.
Yes - I believe she has always been trying to manipulate & play down the situation - but my ex doesn't want to know me now as he thinks I'm bitter. (Understandably so)
But yes I do intend cutting them both off after the night out, it's probably for the best. Although it still doesn't stop me feeling hurt & jealous...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015): Thanks again Notsohappy. I did try and pretend I wasn't bothered in the beginning - but I think the cracks are showing as time goes on and staying in touch with this girl is hard to do when you know she is now involved with my exIf only she were more honest with me - it wouldn't be as bad - at least my ex was truthful by telling me they were getting together.I just hate lies and deceit and being in touch with someone who I no longer trust.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015): You maybe jealous because they need you to be jealous to satisfy their insecurities. Did you go on the night out and did it come to fisticuffs.The beauty of this turn of events is that you can now ignore them both because they used you, cheated and lied and made it seem you wanted it that way. I expect they would like to keep you as a friend so that they can manipulate you further.But as you are a decent person you are oblivious to the low depths some people will sink to. It is perfectly decent to cut them both off..yourfuture partner would like you out of this situation so that he can shower good love on you without anyone else being involved.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2015): Yes Notsohappy - I know she was far from innocent in her part in it - but it's my word against hers & she tries to say nothing was going on. I do intend to drop her after this night out - it's just it's been paid for so we have to go ahead, but I do just want to cut both her & him out of my life!
I just wish I could stop this jealous streak & stop thinking about them!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 May 2015):
 WHY be jealous of HER?
She didn't WON some great prize, she ended UP with a CHEATING guy (your now ex).
HE was SEEING her AND you. What a SCUZBALL! And you want him back? Whatever for?
Look, at some point in the NOT so distant future HE will find some other girl and start dating HER too... while cheating on this girl. AND she will be in your shoes. MAYBE then, she will know that "dating" a guy who has a GF is never a good idea.
I don't know WHY you insist on having her as a "facebook friend" THIS woman is NOT your friend. My guess is, you WANT to keep tabs on her and that is why you haven't blocked and removed her.
How do you stop feeling jealous? ONCE you accept that you can DO better than this guy. That she can HAVE him and all his cheating ways.
A guy who will cheat on his GF is not a keeper. A guy who will cheat WITH someone his GF is friends with? EVEN worse.
Go out with OTHER people, met new people, pick up a hobby, go to the gym, don't sit at home feeling sorry for yourself.
YOU didn't DO this. HE did. HE cheated. YOU got mad (with every right) and now he moved on to his "next" GF. Don't TRY and talk to him OR her. Don't KEEP negative people in your life.
KNOW that YOU can do better than him.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (8 May 2015):
 Why are you jealous of her? Because she got your CHEATING, LYING exbf? Yes, face it - he was cheating on you with her... And she was cheating with him while he was with you. Well I must be missing something, because I don't see what you should be jealous about. Jealous of 2 broken people? No, time to move on with your life. Spend money on yourself, make yourself look good, make new friends, move in different circles.
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A
male
reader, Dean21 +, writes (8 May 2015):
 Well I've been in this situation before and it sucks. Mine happened 3-4 years ago and I've moved on but if I had to offer advice it would be to stop seeing this woman the more you see her the more you will torture yourself. Disconct from the relationship completely if all possible. Its going to hurt but time heals all wounds.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2015): Thanks Sageoldguy. I'm not normally the jealous type - but I just can't let this go for some reason! It's as if I'm being continually taunted, each time I hear about them!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 May 2015):
 That jealousy will EAT YOU UP... from the inside out.. as long as you let it remain within you.....
Take up a hobby.... volunteer at a homeless shelter.... do ANYTHING to distract your mind from this destructive jealousy.... and get on with your life...
Good luck....
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