A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,My wife and I originally got married with having kids as a possibility but 100% sure. We have since changed our minds back and fourth several times throughout the years. She went for years thinking that we would and then just a few years ago she thought that due to health risks of getting older and autism rates were getting higher she decided no.Now she is facing a mile stone birthday and thinking about family and mortality she is thinking she might want to have a kid. I have flipped my thoughts now and now with all of the crime and terrorism and kidnapping in the world the world is such an awful awful terrible place that i wouldn't want to be responsible bringing a kid in this horrible world. She says that I think that way because I have depression that I have never gotten treatment for and I am projecting my thoughts of doom and gloom on to her and it hurts other people. She tells me to go talk to my friends that have kids and seem perfectly happy. So what do you think cupid? What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2015): Life is precious and full of wonderful things. If you want a child have one because if it is for the right reasons it is the most wonderful thing in the whole world.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (24 July 2015):
The world is not the problem....The people in it are. The world does not teach your children love, respect, and discipline...you do. The world maybe awful, but what you give your child is what really matters.
That is like saying your friends are really bad parents, so you are not going to have kids. What they do and what you do are totally different.
If the world is awful and you allow your child to be corrupted by the world...is it the world's fault???
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2015): Do you regret being born?Do you regret your life?If you don't then why would your child? It is the same world after all.I am a 'minority' in many ways; being female, black and bi. People who are either of these tend to get.the shorter end of the stick in the world we live in.I have asked myself the same question as you. But I have had so many beautiful memories and experienced so much love and seen so many wonders that I don't for a second regret being born ;-)
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A
female
reader, Anonny  +, writes (24 July 2015):
Like you - I have no children either - not for the reasons you give - but because I was never particularly maternal.
However - in recent years - I too have been thinking like you & thinking it could be a blessing I haven't brought kids into the world - not for the reasons you give - as crime & terrorism are still pretty rare in everyday life. But what I do see more & more of is - loneliness, poverty, children who are unloved, bullied, abused, jobless with the current market situation...etc, etc so they are the reasons now I would not want a child.
However, don't let this put you off. If you have a stable & loving home life - go ahead. There are many children out there who do well & flourish in life..
Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2015): I think you should get the help you need for your depression - with or without kids.
I also believe that mortality is a weak reason to have kids; children should be desired for the fact that they are children, not for a "successor", if that makes sense?
Honestly, with your line of thinking (and even hers), could you consider adopting? Less risk for her and the children are *already* in the world. You'd be raising children who have low expectations of the world and you can give them a changed life, where they have opportunities and you and your wife have a family.
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