Why is my fiance so kind to me and I don't return it?
Q. I am 28 and my girlfriend is 36 years old and but she is amazingly fit and looking stunning beautiful We are together for the last 2 years. I am not that explicit in expressing my feelings. When she says I love you , I just reciprocate her with...
A. 23 October 2011: A really good question -- you say she's your fiance. Doesn't an expression of love come before a proposal of marriage? What made you propose? Why would it be easier to ask "Will you marry me" and not tell her you love her? Usually a guy t... (read in full...)
Does he really love me? And why does he not want me to see other men, when he already has a wife he cheats on?
Q. ModNote: two adjacent related questions joined into one. I need advice. I am currently in a relationship with a married man. I am 28 and this has been going on for a little over a year. It started off as just sex but now I've fallen in love with...
A. 23 October 2011: Man are you in serious denial about your role in this situation.
You have sex because you "choose" to? Let's test that, shall we? How about you refuse to do everything sexual with him for good. Just stop cold turkey. Don't let him touch yo... (read in full...)
Does he really love me? And why does he not want me to see other men, when he already has a wife he cheats on?
Q. ModNote: two adjacent related questions joined into one. I need advice. I am currently in a relationship with a married man. I am 28 and this has been going on for a little over a year. It started off as just sex but now I've fallen in love with...
A. 23 October 2011: Oh, by the way....I agree with you that you didn't "cause" his marriage to be that way. HE caused the marriage to be that way with his cheating.
But that's another huge piece of evidence that your self-esteem is absolutely trashed. You were wit... (read in full...)
I know he wants to be with his son but shouldn't he be with me too?
Q. Im in a difficult situation, ive been with my boyfriend nearly a yr hes has a son and I have a daughter! He has his son every wkend and my daughter goes to her dads every other wkend! The thing is he pretty much lives with all wk then every wk end ...
A. 23 October 2011: Wait a second. I read your question through again, and I want to ask you to clarify something with me.
Do you two live together?
If the answer is yes, does he leave on Friday and spend the nights over there??
If the answer is no, you two do... (read in full...)
Does he really love me? And why does he not want me to see other men, when he already has a wife he cheats on?
Q. ModNote: two adjacent related questions joined into one. I need advice. I am currently in a relationship with a married man. I am 28 and this has been going on for a little over a year. It started off as just sex but now I've fallen in love with...
A. 23 October 2011: You are a kept mistress.
You will always be his dirty little secret.
Your position is extremely tenuous because once his wife finds out about you, you're cut off.
Think about what he is paying for. You said it was "just sex" and now you h... (read in full...)
Why is my fiance so kind to me and I don't return it?
Q. I am 28 and my girlfriend is 36 years old and but she is amazingly fit and looking stunning beautiful We are together for the last 2 years. I am not that explicit in expressing my feelings. When she says I love you , I just reciprocate her with...
A. 22 October 2011: Of course she deserves better from you, and you need to show her that. If you don't love her, then you're not good enough for her, simple as that.
The only real question is -- do you actually love her? If you do, then tell her you love her... (read in full...)
I know he wants to be with his son but shouldn't he be with me too?
Q. Im in a difficult situation, ive been with my boyfriend nearly a yr hes has a son and I have a daughter! He has his son every wkend and my daughter goes to her dads every other wkend! The thing is he pretty much lives with all wk then every wk end ...
A. 22 October 2011: The kids always come first. I commend and applaud your boyfriend for being so dedicated to seeing them. You can see the boyfriend any night of the week and enjoy it, and a year into the relationship might not be enough time for him to feel like he ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with or even support my daughter when her partner does everything to alienate her from us?
Q. I am in my early sixties, happily married. My daughter lives in Ireland and is a single mother even if she lives with her partner. They are both unemployed. How do you deal with your daughter's partner when he shows signs of personality disorder...
A. 22 October 2011: I think you actually did the best two things you could do in this situation.
1. You stopped the financial aid -- Your daughter is an adult, and your financial remittances were softening the blow and were glossing over her boyfriend's inadequa... (read in full...)
We both had sex for the first time last night but he lost his erection!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for ten months today. And last night, we both gave each other our virginities. I am very tight though, it was our second attempt, But I finally had relaxed and found a position to get it in. I was in so much p...
A. 16 October 2011: There's no fault that he got soft. Sounds like there was a lot of anxiety over the people walking in and his worrying about your pain and your playing around with positions. Whatever you do, don't get upset! There are 600,000 opportunities to ... (read in full...)
I'm single and I'm obsessing over a married woman. I want to get closer to her. Is this an emotional affair?
Q. A young woman recently transferred to my place of work. She's from another country, and extremely beautiful. I'm a single male in my mid-20s who works on the opposite side of the building. After her first or second week we just hit it off, started ...
A. 16 October 2011: You've fallen for her. If she's indeed fallen for you, then yes, it's an emotional affair. She's even more vulnerable to it due to the regular absence of her husband.
I don't know what to tell you if you're dead set on continuing this intense ... (read in full...)
Is it time to stop talking to my ex?. I still love him. What does he want from me? I am sick of him making me feel so jealous
Q. Dear readers I still love my ex boyfriend. Its been 10 months since we broke up. Lately he has been chatting with my cousin sister on a social network site. She is 3 years our junior and is more attractive than I am. He finds her to be an interes...
A. 16 October 2011: First of all, he's a moron for staying in your family to date.
Second of all, I'm sorry you're feeling like you are. Remember, he's an ex, and from his crap in asking you about your cousin while knowing that you're hurt, he's a toolbox.... (read in full...)
My ex told me he's been chaste since our breakup. Do I have a right to be fuming, now I've found out that he has been having a connection with a girl? He lied to me.
Q. This is another question to the previous one I asked, my ex says he wants to keep in touch but doesn't...! Further update and new problem! He has made much more of an effort to be in touch, we were getting along fine as friends, this last week w...
A. 16 October 2011: I feel like I'm jumping into a meat grinder by answering this question, but I might remember your last question.
I'm going to use logic on you right now.
1. If this wasn't your ex-boyfriend, and it was one of your platonic female friends, ... (read in full...)
Am I horrible and selfish for not sleeping his way?
Q. things have been rocky with my boyfriend lately. Our last fight was on our anniversary-month. He came over surprise me with a flower, letter and chocolate and in turn I gave him letter and a key chain bear. He told me he had to wake up 7am in the ...
A. 16 October 2011: Huh? Where is it in the rules that you have to sleep stuck to each other in the first place?? I'm talking to both of you...you both have to fall asleep trying to pick each other's ways of being stuck together?
I have an idea! Don't be stuck to... (read in full...)
How can I get less nervous about sexual things?
Q. Recently, me and my bf started gradually doing more than just a soft kiss here or there. He's a gentle person (to me, at least xD) and he respects my boundaries, but I'm still nervous about these things, and talking about them, or hearing him talk ...
A. 16 October 2011: You're not ready for sex! There's nothing wrong with that! You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, and if you're not ready, that's okay! You're 16-17. Take all the time you need. He might not be the right person, or you might not... (read in full...)
Does he have commitment issues? Or do I wait longer for him to use the 'love' word?
Q. I met my boyfriend last year, via a mutual friend. We were introduced online (3 way convo on msn) and after 1 month, we decided to meet up. We got together two months later and have, so far been a couple for nearly a year. my problem is this; after ...
A. 16 October 2011: Heh...I would skip over entirely his reluctance to tell you he loves you. This whole thing can be summed up in your offer to move to where he is, and his excuse for you not to. Your relationship is doomed. If he were truly in love...if he wer... (read in full...)
Will lack of trust ruin everything? He keeps in regular touch with his ex's (plural). Our sex life sucks.
Q. I've been in a relationship with a guy for a year. We've both been in serious relationships that were not that great in the past. We've discussed marriage/kids and he's even asked me my ring size. Our relationship is perfect, except there's been a ...
A. 16 October 2011: You are neither self-conscious nor crazy. This guy should not be communicating with his exes like he's doing now. End of story. When you break up with a boyfriend, you break up with them. You don't feel bad and allow her to call 50x per day. ... (read in full...)
He wasn't like this at the start. He rebuffs me sexually. Should I act cool in the morning even though his refusal upsets me?
Q. my boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now, and i seriously believe whole heartedly that we are meant to be together we are two of a kind, and we have fallen for each other so quickly. He treats me absolutely amazingly and always puts me ...
A. 15 October 2011: How do you handle it? I'll tell you how:
Learn not to take it personally like every guy on here who has had his wife or significant other tell him "Not tonight, dear. I have a headache". Sex is about respect, and if he's not in the mood, he... (read in full...)
Medical reason? Or does excessive kissing or kissing too deeply make your lips a little puffy?
Q. Why were my bf's lips looking slightly puffy? i wanted to ask since i noticed my bf's lips like that when he came back from work. it wasn't thin and normal like its usually.that day it looked that his upper lip was slightly bee stung. i have n...
A. 15 October 2011: Oh geeze, there could be a zillion benign things that caused his lip to swell.
I'll list them:
Hot coffee
change in temperature
change in humidity
Change in air pressure
Medication (even over the counter medication)
food that burned hi... (read in full...)
Did I over-react? my husband defended his friend. Ignored my feelings. The sexual joke was about me
Q. Tell me if I'm over reacting or if I took this the wrong way. My husband has a male friend who I think has really disrespected me. They were talking online with a bunch of people. My husband's friend said: "We should get you a webcam and have ...
A. 15 October 2011: OMG. I'm really sorry. :(
You're not worthless.
He is.... (read in full...)
My girl friend wants to stop sex! I freaked out. Please, how can I make our relationship work?
Q. Hi people of dearcupid I have a major problem with my girlfriend it is just that I love her so damn much and she all of sudden she asked that if we can stop having sex and I got freaked out and asked her why and if she is cheating on me or somethin...
A. 15 October 2011: Heh, thanks CaringGuy and Ciar!
I think that's the OP in one of the posts.
OP, are you saying that she's cheated on you before?
Also, everything you said after that had to do with being horny and having sex? And that now, every time you... (read in full...)
Did I over-react? my husband defended his friend. Ignored my feelings. The sexual joke was about me
Q. Tell me if I'm over reacting or if I took this the wrong way. My husband has a male friend who I think has really disrespected me. They were talking online with a bunch of people. My husband's friend said: "We should get you a webcam and have ...
A. 15 October 2011: When I read your post, my blood started boiling, and I have the perfect way to explain it to your asshat husband, who added insult to injury by even uttering the words "you're old" to you.
This is what you tell him so that he'll actually get it t... (read in full...)
My girl friend wants to stop sex! I freaked out. Please, how can I make our relationship work?
Q. Hi people of dearcupid I have a major problem with my girlfriend it is just that I love her so damn much and she all of sudden she asked that if we can stop having sex and I got freaked out and asked her why and if she is cheating on me or somethin...
A. 15 October 2011: She may feel like the relationship has become all about sex. That can be taxing when you feel like at first, the guy wanted to know everything about you, and then it turned into every time you two get together, there has to be sex.
That may not ... (read in full...)
Aunts and Uncles help me please on your marriage statistics? I want to ensure my marriage succeeds.
Q. This is a question for the aunts (male and female) who are currently, or have been, married. How long before marriage did you know your spouse? How long were the two of you a couple? Are you happy with how long you waited to take that step, sorry...
A. 15 October 2011: I knew my husband for 5 1/2 years before we married. We dated 5 years beforehand (friends for six months beforehand).
We didn't live together before marriage, but took it slow due to college/career and my wanting to be sure. Before I met him,... (read in full...)
My younger wife is having sexual problems. How can I help her?
Q. I am a 53 year old male married to a 25 year old and we are having sexual problems not by me but her. we also have 4 children. Can you give me some advice? ...
A. 15 October 2011: Usually when a question is this short, I request more info. However, it's pretty obvious what the problem is here!
She's young (25) and with 4 kids! She's absolutely wiped out!! Little kids demand TONS of attention, and even one small one can ... (read in full...)
Can I ever make things right between us again? I lost a dear friend, what to do? She's blocked me every way she can.
Q. Hi guys, I apologize in advance for this long story, but it is just complicated and those who read it, I appreciate it a lot! Well, I met a girl on Facebook. At first we communicated there for over 6 months, exchanging messages on almost a dail...
A. 14 October 2011: Yikes. You may not feel this way now, but she actually did you a favor by deleting you altogether. She is acting on the internet as if she already has a boyfriend or husband. This is common when it comes to long absences, touchiness, and erratic ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I'm uncomfortable with him seeing his ex?
Q. How to deal with this pending meet of his? Ill try to keep this as short as possible. My bf is going to see his ex this weekend to help her out and I dont know how to handle my feelings about it. She is a much older woman and nearly 30 yrs hi...
A. 14 October 2011: You live with your ex-husband, and you're questioning his actions?? Sorry, but you're in no position to do so. You're using your ex...what is he getting from the arrangement?
Normally, I'd say that this other woman is no longer your boyfrien... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see a red flag -- is it really there?
Q. I wanted your guys or girls opinion on something? I met this realy nice lady, we are about the same age we hit it off great and actually still are, though we have been going out exclusively with eachother for only 6 weeks. Now this woman has neve...
A. 14 October 2011: I agree that marrying three times doesn't constitute a sex addiction. However, it's looking a bit more clear now.
The red flag is most definitely indicative of a mountain of baggage. The whole trust and insecurity spiel was code for "I picked y... (read in full...)
I haven't spoken to him in 2 weeks since I found out his devastating news!
Q. Ok,I need some advice. I've been to ashamed to share this with family or friends yet. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. I'm 28 and he's 26. I found out recently almost by accident that before he started dating me he was involved...
A. 14 October 2011: Yeah, that would mean that he was 25 and the kid was 14.
That would creep me out big time, to be honest. I'd feel the same way you do. That girl was a child at 14, and it's made worse by the fact that he knew full well her age. It would al... (read in full...)
Is my female best friend falling for me?
Q. I've read questions on here about this type of situation before, potentially one or other opposite sex best friends falling for the other. The questions is how easy it is to tell without, if getting it wrong, making your friend feel awkward. I th...
A. 13 October 2011: How many women do that sort of thing with their female best friends? Not that many!
That being said, she might like things where they are. She might like that attention and closeness without wanting to push things beyond friendship.
What yo... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see a red flag -- is it really there?
Q. I wanted your guys or girls opinion on something? I met this realy nice lady, we are about the same age we hit it off great and actually still are, though we have been going out exclusively with eachother for only 6 weeks. Now this woman has neve...
A. 13 October 2011: Your relationship is very new! At 2 weeks in, if she was going through something traumatic, it was probably very wise that she didn't dump it on you so early into the relationship.
The conversation about the guy who contacted her followed... (read in full...)
Is getting turned on by his expressions normal?
Q. Heloo :) Just a short question, i was on web cam with a boy ive been dating for a while didnt like him at first but he had grown on me. When i was on web cam i got turned on just because he was raising his eyes at me and licking his lips. Is that ...
A. 13 October 2011: KittieS is absolutely right!
Ever hear of the terms "Bedroom eyes" or the "Come hither" look? Very seductive!
Enjoy it! It's totally normal....and AWESOME!... (read in full...)
Do I pretend that all these things never happened and gradually I'll forget all the trauma?
Q. I used to have a crush on this guy Ax early this year but Ax made it clear that he wasn't interested in me. I was cool about it. Then months later he told me that he liked me. But I did not like him anymore. But because so many of our mutual friends ...
A. 13 October 2011: Heh...Ax and Kx. Sounds like you fell in love with the periodic table of elements. ;)
(Sorry :P)
Anyways, you use anger to protect yourself from hurt. You have an ego, and you push away and get mad. A lot of this drama, you create.
Thi... (read in full...)
Miscarried, should I tell the dad?
Q. I want some advice as its a very sensitive issue. I recently had a affair with a married man which I posted about on here and after getting advice I ended the affair however I have since miscarried our baby and I just don't know if I should tell him ...
A. 13 October 2011: Yikes! This was an affair, and it was a very healthy thing for you to end it with the guy. You miscarried, and I'm really sorry you had to go through this, but do not under any circumstances talk to him anymore. That would be unhealthy.
Unles... (read in full...)
He dumped me out of the blue, found out he was cheating on me all along. How can I get past this?
Q. Why do I feel the way I do? is it normal? ? I loved my ex boyfriend so much, I never cheated on him or lied to him. He was so sweet and lovely told me he loved me everyday and I believed him cos all his actions told me he loved me. He su...
A. 13 October 2011: I agree that it's okay to grieve. What this guy did was awful, and you lost both your innocence and your self-confidence. Not to mention your ability to trust has been shaken to the core over this guy.
So let me ask you this -- at which point wi... (read in full...)
She had sex before we met, now I can't trust her.
Q. Hi everyone. I need some advise on what I should do. I have been with this girl for the last 5 years. The problem is that I cant resepct her or do anything nice for her. She has a past, she lost her virginity when she was 15 years old and stayed in ...
A. 13 October 2011: You have been controlling her, haven't you??
Let me ask you this:
Did you lose your virginity to this girl? Is she your first and only sex partner ever?
You have a past too, my friend. Everyone does.
Let's think about this. She ... (read in full...)
Sex has fallen off of the map for way too long. How do we bring it back into our lives?
Q. My wife and I have not made love in quite some time. Between the two kids, job stress, general tiredness, various health issues etc., it has just fallen off of the map for way too long. Now the question of how to bring it back - I think things ...
A. 13 October 2011: I echo everyone else. You are overdue for a getaway! Get a hotel room, of if you have the money, take a few days at a nice bed and breakfast, or if you are better of financially, go to Vegas, or Aspen, or Hawaii, or somewhere away from the daily ... (read in full...)
Is my post-orgasm refractory period unusually long?
Q. When I have sex, I typically have no physical interest in sex again for at least half a day. And if I do try to have sex at that time, arousal is difficult unless my wife is wearing something particularly arousing. Also, the orgasm takes more time ...
A. 13 October 2011: That's very normal, especially at your age. You're still virile and healthy! And believe it or not, there are many guys who will purposely refrain from all sex and masturbation for days in order to heighten the orgasm. That practice is called ... (read in full...)
B/f wants a foursome--3 guys and me! I kind of want it too!
Q. I've had the biggest crush on this guy for like a year now. He's super adorable. We flirt all the time. He and I have been "talking" for like two months now. I love when people give me attention and he gives me the most. Last month, we were at his ...
A. 13 October 2011: Holy cats! Yeah, not a good idea here at all, even though I know it's tantalizing to you.
First of all, would these 4 guys be using condoms? I doubt it.
Second, these are teenagers...and sex is risky enough with just one on one! Orgies are... (read in full...)
Do I open Pandora's box to ease my mind?
Q. My boyfriend has been fairly open and up front with me about the women in his life. He has talked about one at work that apparently all the guys ogle, and another that has befriended him (I think she has a crush on him). We're friends on Facebook ...
A. 13 October 2011: His statement that "all guys ogle" is true to a point. There is a discipline of the mind that can be achieved where a guy can appreciate a woman's beauty, and he can't help but feel a response physically to that beauty. This is perfectly ... (read in full...)
I get too embarrassed to kiss my girlfriend!
Q. i love my girlfriend and she loves me, but we have been going out for almost two months and we've only kissed once and i cant bring myself to do it. i have veeery little dating experience(one other girl that i never even kissed even though we dated ...
A. 13 October 2011: Heh. Are you in sports? Do you play a musical instrument or are a dancer? Are you an artist? Are you in school? Have you ever studied martial arts?
I ask because when people start out in a hobby (especially sports or music), they start ch... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is not virgin! How do I forgive her?
Q. i have a relation with a girl since march 2011. after 2 months when she come to know that i love her, she told me that she is not virgin. she cried the whole night and told me that she was force by her ex-boyfriend when she was having a severe ...
A. 13 October 2011: Oh my lord. She got raped and taken advantage of by her ex (note...please note...he's her EX), which turned out to be pretty much one of the worst days of her life.
She may not be a virgin in regards to her hymen, but spiritually, mentally... (read in full...)
Don't want mum to know I'm on the pill - how can I fake a period?
Q. This sounds like a stupid question, but there is a reason behind it. I'm 16, so please don't lecture me on legality. Myself and my boyfriend are planning on taking our relationship 'to the next level' soon, and decided to take some precautions- nei...
A. 12 October 2011: Your mom must really be harsh on you if you're having to tell us twice in all caps not to lecture you!
I echo what the other aunts have said. As a mom, I'd be actually proud of the maturity level of my kid in taking on birth control. I would ha... (read in full...)
Dad is critical of him. I like this guy. But am I falling in love too fast?
Q. Hey folks, It's been about 4 months since I broke up with my ex, and now I've found a good guy. We met online, and began talking quite a bit. We got together, and since then he's asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, and its been a lot...
A. 12 October 2011: Yes, slow down! You're going from "nice to meet you" to "I love you more than anything in the world". Don't go from that to living together within 2 months. Relationships that tend to flame on like this tend to flame out.
A good serious ... (read in full...)
Husband said he'll give me a month to find a job!
Q. Hey everyone. I have a worry. My husband and I have only been married 3 months. He is upset with me and will not communicate with me hardly at all. The past 3 days he has been getting in his truck and leaving without saying a word. A couple of weeks ...
A. 12 October 2011: Yeah, there has to be more to this story. What got him to the point of not talking to you? And, three months married and he's treating you like this?
It doesn't matter what the reason, quite frankly. What is this ultimatum thing happenin... (read in full...)
My B/f was aroused, but couldn't climax. Could it have been due to stress, or am I just not good enough for him?
Q. Hia Today I found myself in a situation I've never been in before, and I was just wondering if anyone here could advise me on it :) I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, and we've been sexually active for a while now. Today when thing...
A. 12 October 2011: That's extremely common, and most of the time is *is* due to stress. It wasn't about you at all. A guy may be able to put on a bold and strong face to you when he's facing stress, but a lot of times his body betrays him during sex.
Other... (read in full...)
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