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| | *o_Very_Confused's profile:I've got the life experience to be wise for others, not so wise for myself. A degree in psych doesn't hurt either. So when I respond to people while I may just give advice, I'm more inclined to ask you questions that make you think and make you HURT and figure out what to do....
Choices I make are made on years of experience and may not be the best choices for YOU but what I do and what I advise may be two different things. Like I've said I KNOW what's the BEST thing to do and do not always choose to do what's BEST for me.
My primary interests include age gap relationships where the woman is older than the man... I am 13 years older than my future husband... I am also currently very interested in 12 step programs and addiction and recovery
and Long distance relationships...
I also understand alternative lifestyles as I was a "swinger" in my last marriage and I am a bisexual woman although currently I am just with my one male partner by choice...
NEVER STAY WHERE YOU ARE UNHAPPY NO MATTER WHAT. DO not make the same mistakes I made.
Rules:
IF YOU HAVE AN UNEASY FEELING IT'S FOR A GOOD REASON.. listen to that little voice
NEVER EVER trust a liar. IF they lied once, they could lie again. IF you dont' trust them there's a reason for it. LISTEN to it.
IF you have to ASK if you should leave... just do it.
We don't know WHY someone did something... only why WE would do it... so you have to ASK THEM.
IF you are afraid to ASK your PARTNER anything.. it's not a good relationship and you should probably end it.
IF he only calls when he's horny at 2 am you are a booty call nothing more....
Old cliches:
Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place
Do as I say not as I do |
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| Latest articles: How to get many answers to your question.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 November 2012: So many times folks submit good questions but, get few answers. It's very frustrating to have an important topic you need advice on and not be able to get it. While talking with friends is easy to get to what you need, asking in written form can...
Am I Co-Dependent?
No replies yet... 24 October 2012: So often folks will ask "am I co-dependent" or will label someone "co-dependent" There was a period of time that it was the "popular" diagnosis of mental health disorders. I often wondered if I myself was co-dependent. I read many books ...
Is my Long Distance Relationship worth it?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 December 2011: Being in a relationship where you have regular face to face contact is difficult enough. Being in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is more difficult. Local Relationships (LRs) require a few things; Honesty, Trust, Commitment, and ...
How you can tell someone loves you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 November 2011: So many times we see folks here saying "I know he loves me he tells me he does all the time" “But” I want to scream, “but how does he SHOW you he loves you” because I learned that WORDS without ACTIONS are meaningless. A partner that says “I lo...
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
This question has 24 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 September 2011: Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
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How can I be in love with 2 men?
Q. I have been married for two years. I left my ex ( the man that I had two children with) and soon after started dating my husband and shortly after that I got married. This whole time, my ex has been saying that he wants me back and I have thought ...
A. 6 January 2012: Glad we could help!... (read in full...)
G/f says she hit her ex. Will she hit me?
Q. I just started to date this beautiful girl. She is everything I had ever wanted and acts just like a lady. However a couple of things are concerning me, 1. Is that her ex bfs things are still in her place, yet she says they broke up 3 months ...
A. 6 January 2012: Oh dear... it's the paycheck...
if his stuff furnished the place that means she will need furniture.
saying something (I need counseling) and doing something (getting a counselor) are different things... listen to her actions not her words.. ... (read in full...)
I know my ex was wrong for me but why do I keep thinking of him?
Q. i was dating a guy for 3 yrs,we met in junior college and dated for 3 yrs..during the 2nd yr of our relationship i moved outta town and he started getting super possessive.he didnt like me talking to other guys n stuff,hed get paranoid if he called ...
A. 5 January 2012: you are thinking of him again because he stroked your ego when you saw him.
give it a few weeks and it will pass.... (read in full...)
I am very financially responsible, my b/f isn't and his situation makes me very uneasy
Q. I have been dating a guy for 2 months, we've known each other for 7 months prior to dating. The thing is he has a lot of financial problems. He was injured in an accident and was not able to work, hence the bills started mounting. He lost a ...
A. 5 January 2012: once you get into the spiral of having bills you can't pay and using credit to pay bills you have a hard time getting out....
medical bills are huge w/o insurance and they are often so high that you have to delcare bankruptcy.
IF he is norm... (read in full...)
Us women want Pleasure Too!
Q. Why is it that most men ALWAYS want their Women to go DOWN on them. BUT in return Some men DONT want to go DOWN on their Women. Why is that? US WOMEN WANT TO BE PLEASURED TOO!...
A. 5 January 2012: my second husband HATED blow jobs. I had to teach him to like them as i like to give them.
my current partner loves blow jobs but can't stand to give oral but he pleasures me in many other ways...
my last husband LOVED to go down on me and w... (read in full...)
Tips for new and exciting sex?
Q. Hi everyone! I'm going out of town for a vacation with my boyfriend next week. He's been out of the country for 3 months for work, and what I'm looking for are some tips for some new and exciting sex. Mostly to the men out there, what is somethin...
A. 5 January 2012: honey you haven't seen him for three months... you could wear a burlap sack and you will be the hottest thing he's seen in three months...
you won't even have TIME for toys or games...... (read in full...)
How can I be in love with 2 men?
Q. I have been married for two years. I left my ex ( the man that I had two children with) and soon after started dating my husband and shortly after that I got married. This whole time, my ex has been saying that he wants me back and I have thought ...
A. 5 January 2012: Unlike the first poster, I get that you can love more than one person at a time. I see that you left your EX BEFORE you started dating your husband so I know that you are truly torn with these feelings.
Sadly our society does not deal with pol... (read in full...)
Boyfriend becomes sad or angry and is becoming more difficult to deal with. What should I do?
Q. Hi, I'm 16 and I have problems with my boyfriend. See we don't usually fight a lot and when we're together we always have a great time. Atleast in the beginning. We can be so happy about the movie we're watching, the diners we go to even just taking ...
A. 5 January 2012: he wants you to lie and break the law.... and he's giving you grief about not doing this and being true to yourself....
so if he wanted to rob a bank or steal from a store what would you want to do?... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend I think I'm bisexual?
Q. ive been with my boyfriend over a year our relationship is awesome and so is the sex, but i think im bi sexual. ive never told anyone or gone any further than a kiss with a girl, but i like to watch girl on girl porn and have always fantasized about ...
A. 5 January 2012: are you willing to have a threesome with him?
if so you are every man's dream.....
... (read in full...)
Any ideas why he is suddenly losing erection during sex?
Q. Hey! my boyfriend and I have been together for a few months now, but I've known him forever since we've been friends since high school. Everything is great, we get along great and we both work to make things work. We're both very much in love. The ...
A. 5 January 2012: Trust me sweetie this is not about a few pounds you have gained. In fact, it’s not about YOU at all.
It could be stress, work, he was tired, he had too much to drink, not enough sleep, a million things…
One thing I have learned over the years a... (read in full...)
G/f says she hit her ex. Will she hit me?
Q. I just started to date this beautiful girl. She is everything I had ever wanted and acts just like a lady. However a couple of things are concerning me, 1. Is that her ex bfs things are still in her place, yet she says they broke up 3 months ...
A. 5 January 2012: You just started to date a woman who is 3 months out of a long term relationship. Let’s address your concerns one at a time:
If her BF broke up with her 3 months ago and she still has his stuff she needs to let him know he has X number of days ... (read in full...)
Sex is like...?
Q. I really want to have sex but don't have a boyfriend. Could someone please tell me what it feels like to have sex. Like comparisons. ...
A. 5 January 2012: It depends on the person...
sex with a man who does a slow dance is fun and romantic and gentle.
sex with a go getter is slam bam thank you mam then he brings you ice cream.... (well I quit smoking years ago)
sex with other women is wet ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cheating with S and M mistress?
Q. My boyfriend is into S and M (bondage) He doesn't want to do it with me because he thinks I'm only doing it to please him. Our sex is not great. He complains that he cant get into it because the S and M is what turns him on the most. He is meet...
A. 5 January 2012: I don’t consider it cheating because he cleared it with you. I define cheating as ANYTHING you can’t won’t or don’t tell your partner. Since he told you it’s not cheating IN MY RULES.
The problem is you apparently told him to go do it… I wo... (read in full...)
Social outings, my boyfriend, and his ex
Q. Hi Hope u can help as I just need advice as I am in a very new situation! My fella and I have been together nearly 6 months. He loves me as I do him. However, he has 2 wonderful children (who I haven't met yet) and I understand that he has reg...
A. 5 January 2012: He has them EVERY weekend? Wow. So YOU never SEE HIM ON WEEKENDS?
you are together 6 months and serious right?
who keeps you from the kids? is it your choice or his?
I'm sorry I disent with some of the posters SHE should NOT be going ... (read in full...)
I feel awful for misguiding the girl I plan to marry for so many years but I'm so scared to face the music but I also want to right my wrong
Q. So, about five years ago I met a girl, who is now my girlfriend of three years, online and she lives in PA. We always got a long real well and eventually we started to play on the ps3 with eachother, because we were curious about what the other ...
A. 5 January 2012: she's not really your girlfriend as long as you are lying to her.
she's just some person you wish to deceive.... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 5 January 2012: We are trying to tell you what is wrong with your plan… you are not listening to our combined years of wisdom and experience. I want grandchildren too. I have two sons.
What will you do if your first is disabled like mine is? My “reward”... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 5 January 2012: 19 still in school and going to be able to pay off a house in a year?
do you have an inheritence?
I am 51 and betting I alone make double what you and fiance make... my fiance and I are not going to be able to pay off our house for 15 yea... (read in full...)
We had a lot of sex but she has a B/f whom she's gone back to, and I'm scared to death of losing her
Q. I'm an 18 year old male/senior in high school. This girl I know came back home from college for winter break this last few weeks. She told me she had a boyfriend and that we couldn't let anything happen, regardless of the history we have as close ...
A. 4 January 2012: and you know she's with him how?
Let me tell you that men fall in love when they miss a woman. women fall in love when they are with a man....... (read in full...)
Now I have the chance to make my mothr proud
Q. Ive been talking to this guy for 3 months. He likes me a lot. I like him too.We have known eachother since the 5th grade. Hes 39 and single.hes been married once. Im 40 never been married but been in a relationship for the past 7years. He knows ...
A. 4 January 2012: I agree with what Tisha said...
you are clearly looking for a way out.... (read in full...)
What was he after and why did he pursue me for so long?
Q. I met with this guy about 4 times. We also kept in touch by phoning and texting each other. He agreed to taking things slow with me and insisted that he wasn't after me for just sex. After our date he invited me to his place. We were both drunk and ...
A. 4 January 2012: did he tie you up and put you in the bathroom to make him watch you?
men love a good chase... you are fun to chase because you give him a little bit more each time...
DO NOT go to his apartment.
DO NOT go to private places with him...
h... (read in full...)
1st time about anal sex and I'm worried about it being messy!
Q. hello all, i am going to be embarking into the world of anal sex starting in a few days and i'm really excited, but also worried! to be blunt i am worried about poo and that i will poo myself! i am also worried about the hygiene of it and any do...
A. 4 January 2012: You will not poo yourself.....
you don't douche ANYTHING EVER... not a vagina (EVER) not an anus.
You can if you are that nervous you can probably get a disposable enema at the pharmacy (here in the USA we recommend FLEET enemas)
now f... (read in full...)
Wife doesn't want to get rid of pictures of her ex. Am I being unreasonable?
Q. We're only married 6 months and already we have an 'issue'. When my wife and I got serious and started talking about getting engaged, we both deleted 'exs' from our facebook accounts, deleted them from our contacts in our phones. I even threw out ...
A. 4 January 2012: First of all there is no right and wrong. You feel one way she feels another. I personally eventually will throw out MOST pictures of an ex if it was a bad relationship… That being said.. I kept every single picture of my first boyfriend from ... (read in full...)
I'm not getting responses from my ad on dating site. Help?
Q. I have joined a dating site, being an Indian girl I am not getting much response from American and canadian guys. I really dont have any problem dating a guy other than my race. Could you guys please help me in some way. Any suggestion will be ...
A. 4 January 2012: well what is in your profile?
... (read in full...)
To please him I am seeking any tips to ensure fellatio is more enjoyable please? And anything to make it taste better too, please?
Q. My partner really enjoys oral sex. And is always asking for it. I don't mind doing it but he always wants to be able to come inside my mouth. It's something he finds really attractive. I let it happen once but I really didn't like it. I've told him...
A. 4 January 2012: if he ejaculates far enough back in your mouth you won't taste it at all... just make sure when he starts to cum you take him in as far as you can and when you feel him pulsing you swallow....
been doing it this way for nearly 40 years and it... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my insecurities will push people away.
Q. I have been seeing a wonderful girl since the start of November. We have went on about 5 dates, text most days and call each other once a week. I am 26 and she is 22. I don't date often, and I have only had one relationship. I have a tenancy to ...
A. 4 January 2012: First of all at 26 and 22 you guys pretty much ARE the same age…
An hour apart without a car is difficult… with a car no big deal…
You will NOT be alone forever… stop trying to make that happen…. And just let them… be yourself… be ope... (read in full...)
Should I cry until I can't cry anymore and eventually will just forget about him
Q. I've been in this ldr for almost 2 years. We met on a chatline and instantly connected! Every time me tried to meet up,something would always happen on both of our ends, so although we had never seen each other we did skype and video chat and send...
A. 4 January 2012: It does not matter WHY he said those hateful words to you.. he said them…
A jerk is a jerk online, in person, on the phone etc…
Some men don’t like texting
Some men don’t like talking on the phone
But they do not mistreat people they car... (read in full...)
I don't know what to make of him and I'm worried he might be playing me....what do you think?
Q. I met this guy on an online dating site. We seemed to have an instant connection and decided to meet up. The first date went great and I know I shouldn't have but we slept together. After that we talked for a few weeks over text and then our ...
A. 4 January 2012: yep he tells you what you want to hear and he is using you as a booty call...
I would as usual listen to Cerberus!... (read in full...)
What's the solution to her lack of interest in sex?
Q. I am 28 years old and my wife is 29 years old . its been just one yesr since we got married and we have no kids. My problem is that my wife is not at all intersted in sex. Before Our marriage she was always excited about sex but now she never wants ...
A. 4 January 2012: is she on birth control? if it's hormonal BC then she may have no libido
has she had a medical work up?
before we can talk about other potential problems we must rule out all medical reasons.... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby but it's not happening!
Q. So I'm 19 and me and my fiance live together..everything is perfect! I am beyond in love with this man.the problem is,I want to share more with him..I bet you're thinking "what more could she want?" this may sound crazy but I want to have his ...
A. 4 January 2012: IF after a year of actively trying you are not pregnant then you can seek medical assistance.
Start saving now. INVITRO runs about 10k a pop and is not covered by insurance. I know one woman who had 5 procedures and 5 miscarriages. It does not... (read in full...)
My ex will only talk to me about our kids, after I started dating a friend of hers. I miss her company!
Q. my ex and i split up a while ago......we did sleep together for sometime afterwards. whilst we were sleeping together i was messaging a friend of hers and now we have become a couple. my ex and i have kids together and we always got along well. ...
A. 4 January 2012: Nope nothing you can do. You cannot have your cake and eat it too.
An ex is an ex for a reason and who she is with and what she does with them is NONE Of your business as long as it does not affect your relationship with your children.
... (read in full...)
Are we ready for a threesome?
Q. Hi! Want to know if you think we are ready for a threesome. We have been married for 6 years and have children. We both come from a conservative Middle Eastern background, we are not fully liberal but both are relatively open minded. W...
A. 4 January 2012: IF she does not want to do it then the time is NOT now.
some things are better left fantasy.
would you be into this if the third memeber was a male not a female?
I've done threesomes
I've done MFM
I've done FMF
I've done FFFF (... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is sexually confused
Q. MOD NOTE: 2 posts were combined... Hello I have been with this guy for 4 years and he has been discretely logging on to shemale websites I have confronted him about it when the proof is right in front of me and he gets offensive like he wants to...
A. 4 January 2012: Do you think he keeps it a secret because of your reaction to it? A man can watch shemale porn and not be in denial or confused. I know my bf watches it and I’ve seen some that I agree with him is pretty hot….
Is it the fact that he looks at... (read in full...)
My Bf and I have been together 4 years. We have a child. But how can I also continue with the marine I am seeing too, and not breakup with my Bf?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for almost four years and also I met a guy and I've been seeing him for about six months. I see the other guy twice a month, every time he comes to home, because his a marine .i really like him i feel he is the one, but ...
A. 4 January 2012: Staying with your boyfriend for the sake of a child is not a good reason to stay with him or lie to him or cheat on him.
You are 21 and have been with your boyfriend since you were 17 or so right? Not sure how old your child is but you are teac... (read in full...)
Now I have the chance to make my mothr proud
Q. Ive been talking to this guy for 3 months. He likes me a lot. I like him too.We have known eachother since the 5th grade. Hes 39 and single.hes been married once. Im 40 never been married but been in a relationship for the past 7years. He knows ...
A. 4 January 2012: What is the problem with your daughter? in 3 years she will be an adult... is she behaving badly or is it him?
IF he lives in the house as the male head of household she needs to respect him too.... (read in full...)
We had a lot of sex but she has a B/f whom she's gone back to, and I'm scared to death of losing her
Q. I'm an 18 year old male/senior in high school. This girl I know came back home from college for winter break this last few weeks. She told me she had a boyfriend and that we couldn't let anything happen, regardless of the history we have as close ...
A. 4 January 2012: Well then it sounds to me like maybe she’s not “returning to the Cali. Boyfriend but rather to school….
LDRS due to school CAN work sometimes…
Maybe you need to talk to her about it?
... (read in full...)
He doesn't open up about his problems, he doesn't tell me he loves me and he stares off into space....what should I do?
Q. why am i feeling so low with myself? im in a ldr for nearly 3 years and we are looking to be together for good this year, we spoke about it last year, but things have to be done to the house so we can all have a nice big room as we have kids from ...
A. 4 January 2012: I am with a similar man now. I had to learn to not say I LOVE YOU to him because he does not need nor want to hear it all the time. What I learned was that it means so much more now that I only hear it on RARE occasions…. When I feel the urge to ... (read in full...)
Am I paranoid or is he cheating?
Q. Okay, I'm not sure if i am paranoid that my boyfriend is cheating or if he really is so i need your guys help. Okay i don't have proof that he is cheating. He don't have a phone anymore cause he says he can't afford one anymore since he has a l...
A. 4 January 2012: He has no phone but he has internet? Does he work? Go to school? Have Parents? Does he live alone? Is there a landline? (personally I could never live without a landline and I’m amazed at how many folks don’t have them but they tend to be ... (read in full...)
What is more important? Her wellbeing or my sanity? Help...
Q. i am a bisexual girl and i just got out of a 2-year "weird thing". well it was definately not a relationship but not friendship either... when i met her we both became interested in each other but we were both seeing people. when some months later i ...
A. 4 January 2012: She is NOT your responsibility.
When you are on an airplane and have children with you you are told to put the oxygen mask on yourself first THEN the children.....this goes against EVERYTHING a parent feels and believes... that we need to take ... (read in full...)
Bizzare excuses: am I just being paranoid or is he right that I have trust issues?
Q. How does a guy who has been sketchy react when you suddenly start being sketchy back? I have never played hard to get and may make it too easy when I like a guy. If we are dating and he wants to see me - I say yes at the drop of a dime. I don't li...
A. 4 January 2012: How does a game player react when you start playing games back? He steps up his game…
Three months of dating and it’s always been shady or vague?
NOT met his friends or family? Won’t meet your friends?
I don’t think he wants to commit... (read in full...)
Has he really got time for a girlfriend?
Q. I was with my ex boyfriend (Julian) for three years on and off. when he finished with me in summer 2010 I started seeing someone else (steve) he'd give me money and lifts and generally looked after me, we only had sex three times. I then went to ...
A. 4 January 2012: My finace is into his MMO he plays it every chance he gets... EXCEPT when we make plans in advance to do something else... then he can go back to it... he did give it up for about 6 months in the thick of our relationship but when he moved in ... (read in full...)
Now I have the chance to make my mothr proud
Q. Ive been talking to this guy for 3 months. He likes me a lot. I like him too.We have known eachother since the 5th grade. Hes 39 and single.hes been married once. Im 40 never been married but been in a relationship for the past 7years. He knows ...
A. 4 January 2012: Oh honey he's just a new shiny toy
why would you consider leaving a partner of 7 years?
what's wrong with the current relationship that you feel the need to feed your heart with an old crush?
before you end the relatonship you are in or fu... (read in full...)
I've liked him for two years but he is dating my friend
Q. well i have really liked this guy for more then 2 years and then i just found out like 3 mouths ago that my bestfriend likes him to, and now i dont know what to do because they are together... i have told him i liked him and he didnt want to screw ...
A. 4 January 2012: If he told you he didn't want to screw up your friendship then he likes you just as a friend and it's time for you to let the hope of more go....
he was being kind...
advice: keep your eye out for a guy that appeals just as much and see... (read in full...)
My girlfriend constantly think I'm cheating when I'm not!
Q. I need desprate help I love my girlfriend to bits but she is always thinking I am cheating on her when I am not She constantly thinks she hears and sees proof when I am not doing anything For example I'm on the phone with her all day everyda...
A. 4 January 2012: Sadly this is not anything you can fix. Her insecurity is causing this problem.
I personally know my man looks at other women.. but as he's said "he comes home to me" and that's fine.
I think that you need to tell her point blank that she n... (read in full...)
We had a lot of sex but she has a B/f whom she's gone back to, and I'm scared to death of losing her
Q. I'm an 18 year old male/senior in high school. This girl I know came back home from college for winter break this last few weeks. She told me she had a boyfriend and that we couldn't let anything happen, regardless of the history we have as close ...
A. 4 January 2012: So did she TELL YOU when she left “I’m done with you and returning to my Cali. Boyfriend” or are you making the assumption that it’s over?
Have you contacted her?
... (read in full...)
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