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| | *o_Very_Confused's profile:I've got the life experience to be wise for others, not so wise for myself. A degree in psych doesn't hurt either. So when I respond to people while I may just give advice, I'm more inclined to ask you questions that make you think and make you HURT and figure out what to do....
Choices I make are made on years of experience and may not be the best choices for YOU but what I do and what I advise may be two different things. Like I've said I KNOW what's the BEST thing to do and do not always choose to do what's BEST for me.
My primary interests include age gap relationships where the woman is older than the man... I am 13 years older than my future husband... I am also currently very interested in 12 step programs and addiction and recovery
and Long distance relationships...
I also understand alternative lifestyles as I was a "swinger" in my last marriage and I am a bisexual woman although currently I am just with my one male partner by choice...
NEVER STAY WHERE YOU ARE UNHAPPY NO MATTER WHAT. DO not make the same mistakes I made.
Rules:
IF YOU HAVE AN UNEASY FEELING IT'S FOR A GOOD REASON.. listen to that little voice
NEVER EVER trust a liar. IF they lied once, they could lie again. IF you dont' trust them there's a reason for it. LISTEN to it.
IF you have to ASK if you should leave... just do it.
We don't know WHY someone did something... only why WE would do it... so you have to ASK THEM.
IF you are afraid to ASK your PARTNER anything.. it's not a good relationship and you should probably end it.
IF he only calls when he's horny at 2 am you are a booty call nothing more....
Old cliches:
Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place
Do as I say not as I do |
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| Latest articles: How to get many answers to your question.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 November 2012: So many times folks submit good questions but, get few answers. It's very frustrating to have an important topic you need advice on and not be able to get it. While talking with friends is easy to get to what you need, asking in written form can...
Am I Co-Dependent?
No replies yet... 24 October 2012: So often folks will ask "am I co-dependent" or will label someone "co-dependent" There was a period of time that it was the "popular" diagnosis of mental health disorders. I often wondered if I myself was co-dependent. I read many books ...
Is my Long Distance Relationship worth it?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 December 2011: Being in a relationship where you have regular face to face contact is difficult enough. Being in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is more difficult. Local Relationships (LRs) require a few things; Honesty, Trust, Commitment, and ...
How you can tell someone loves you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 November 2011: So many times we see folks here saying "I know he loves me he tells me he does all the time" “But” I want to scream, “but how does he SHOW you he loves you” because I learned that WORDS without ACTIONS are meaningless. A partner that says “I lo...
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
This question has 24 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 September 2011: Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
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Does he still love me? Or there is another girl
Q. Im a 15 year old girl and i've dating my bf for 2yrs. We met at school last yr that where we started dating,my problem is that this yr since we in different schools he doen't call or send me sms,when i try to call him he always says "i can't talk ...
A. 31 October 2012: no dear he does not still love you....
if he did he would call you or text you and want to see you..
he may not have another girlfriend but it's probably just a matter of time before he does.
I think you should stop calling him and text... (read in full...)
They actually filmed her having a heart attack and I don't know how to deal with it!
Q. My fiance recently had a heart attack, she's fit and healthy so it was surprising for her to have this - it's due to stress, the doctors say but we can't be sure. It's certainly not her diet, she eats well, a mainly Mediterranean diet, due to being ...
A. 31 October 2012: well if it does end up there... will it have her name?
while it was very very rude of them to do what they did, it's the culture now to film things.
if they post it, what will they say "anonymous woman having a heart attack in the park... (read in full...)
Boyfriend often visits Facebook of a sexy bikini girl as an entertainment. Is it okay for a serious relationship with me?
Q. Hi everyone. The matter I'm going to talk about is: Faithfulness! (oh yeah old issue) *** Brief of the matter: I've just found out he often visits Facebook page of a sexy party clubbing young girl; and sometimes leaves comments, link of song, fl...
A. 31 October 2012: I have so many red flags here that the girl in the bikini is the least of your problems.
IF all he does is like a girls pictures and post on her page now and then it’s probably harmless. But if it bothers you then it’s not harmless. Would yo... (read in full...)
What is your feelings on someone getting drunk and making out with another person?
Q. Hey guys and girls, about three weeks ago I started dating this girl named lets say Cindy. We spent a lot of time together just watching movies, having sex, talking, and really liking each other. Cindy even bought me a Star Wars t-shirt when s...
A. 31 October 2012: MrBrightside90,
A. “she claims” so you are saying you don’t believe that she was drunk….. even when drunk we just tend to do things that we want to do but don’t when we are sober…. Drunk just lets down the walls we put up, it does not chan... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend back? My lies caused the break up. I lied because I knew he would not like the truth.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for over 3 years now, on and off. He has always complained about my lying but the thing is then I did it to protect him since I knew he wouldn't like the truth. I know now it was stupid of me. Everyt...
A. 31 October 2012: "I did it to protect him since he wouldn't like the truth"
what kind of protection is lying.. what truth wouldn't he like?
no he's not just hurt at the moment. YOU LIED TO HIM.
YOU betrayed him and his trust. he can probably never t... (read in full...)
Should there be a spark at the start of a relationship? Or does it grow with time?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles My questiom is simple Should there be a spark at the start of a relationship? Five months in now and im just not feeling it... She tells me she loves me a lot which makes me think lots there for her.... Should i end this ...
A. 31 October 2012: If after 5 months there is no spark.. then it's time to let go...... (read in full...)
What do you appreciate most about DearCupid.org? This is also a big thank you to all the aunts and uncles on here!!
Q. So, as you have probably gathered, this isn't a question. More of a massive thank you to all the fabulous people on here who give great advice day after day on this site!! I have been on this site for a few years now, and have been posting abo...
A. 31 October 2012: so glad you are happy! ... (read in full...)
What is your feelings on someone getting drunk and making out with another person?
Q. Hey guys and girls, about three weeks ago I started dating this girl named lets say Cindy. We spent a lot of time together just watching movies, having sex, talking, and really liking each other. Cindy even bought me a Star Wars t-shirt when s...
A. 31 October 2012: "Another weird thing is this guy that she made out with is far less attractive than me (this might sound douchy but I really don't mean to put him down or anything)"
maybe he is not as attractive as you would like but maybe his insides are ... (read in full...)
What is the reason? I texted him for the first time, said my name in the text, and he has not replied?
Q. To keep it short, im 80% sure that my crush actually likes me back. So a week ago my friend Nick helped me ask for his number, he seemed to be a little bit happy about this and he knew i was the one who wanted his number. And he acutally said 'rem...
A. 31 October 2012: Never stop living your life because of a boy.
NEVER skip school because of it.
Texting is a stupid way to have a relationship. for all you know he never got the text... texts are cheap because of the easy free way they piggyback on other p... (read in full...)
What is your feelings on someone getting drunk and making out with another person?
Q. Hey guys and girls, about three weeks ago I started dating this girl named lets say Cindy. We spent a lot of time together just watching movies, having sex, talking, and really liking each other. Cindy even bought me a Star Wars t-shirt when s...
A. 31 October 2012: either after three brief weeks you were a committed couple and she did wrong or you were not and she had every right to do what she did.
granted what she said and what she did do not match and I'm more inclined to look at behavior vs words...... (read in full...)
Would it be ok to ask her out when she turns 16?
Q. ok this is going to sound so wrong to moit of you but its been palying on my mind for do long now i need help badly i am 21 yet i have felaing for a 15 year old i know this is so wrong as of the age gap but i genuinly have fealings for her ITS ...
A. 31 October 2012: If you were asking me as her mother if you could date my 16 year old child when you were a grown man of 21 the answer would be NO.
Several reasons
1. She may look like an adult but she is not. She won’t be for at least 6 more years
2. She ma... (read in full...)
Why is it that he only really talks to me when he's horny?
Q. Hey guys so my boyfriend and I and I have been going out for a little over 2 months. Something that I noticed in our relationship is that he only really talks to me when he's horny. I try to make conversation with him but he always runs that...
A. 31 October 2012: I am sure you are in love. I am not sure HE is. ... (read in full...)
Is my Bf involved sexually with an older lover? He says no. His text to her implies yes. What can I do?
Q. Am I over reacting or what? My boyfriend has an older lady friend who stays at our house quite frequently, helps us out a lot. They've been friends longer than I've been around and she's like 20 years older than him so I never thought twice ab...
A. 30 October 2012: never discount a person because of their age... many guys actually like us older women...
I think that there is some hanky panky going on with them. And I seriously doubt you will ever trust them alone together again.
don't feel stupid... (read in full...)
What are the signs if a man loves you?
Q. Dear Cupid i need help,i met a guy from Jamaica on a dating site 3 weeks ago.And im starting to fall in love with him and i told him,and he said he feels the same.And he said hes coming to my country in 7 months time.So i want to i dont know if he ...
A. 30 October 2012: Well I wrote a few articles you should read...
1. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-my-long-distance-relationship-worth-it.html about Long Distance relationships.
and
2. http://www.dearcupid.org/que... (read in full...)
Why does he need to date one last girl before he can commit to me? Should I wait while he does this?
Q. Help me please ? I am devastated by the fact that the guy I am dating told me he needs meet one girl to be sure he really loves? The guy I date said he thinks he loves me and we have been seeing each other for 3 months now. We were making pla...
A. 30 October 2012: If he truly loved you he would not need to date one more girl.
he will forever be looking for one more girl if you stay with him.
my last husband, I thought he loved me... he was always looking for one more girl... to make him feel better... t... (read in full...)
Why is it that he only really talks to me when he's horny?
Q. Hey guys so my boyfriend and I and I have been going out for a little over 2 months. Something that I noticed in our relationship is that he only really talks to me when he's horny. I try to make conversation with him but he always runs that...
A. 30 October 2012: dating just over two months... and he only contacts you when he wants to get laid hmmm...
honey stop trying to make him talk... he's not interested in you except for sexual content... I hope you are not being sexual with him yet.... (read in full...)
My Gf will not give up on me and yet her loyalties are divided. She's cheating again. What can I do?
Q. My gf is torn between two. She left me in the past for this women and she is currently is doing it again. So I broke it off but we still live together and she sits and lies to my face about the situation but when I cough up everything she w...
A. 30 October 2012: she ignores you that's disrespectful
she's cheated on you more than once that's wrong and a habit not a mistake.
she lies to you.... not good
she will continue to use and abuse you as long as you allow it.
gather your strength and leav... (read in full...)
For Girls: First Impressions when you meet a guy - is 5 foot six inches tall enough for you? Or do you prefer taller?
Q. Hello This question is mostly for girls Do you find attractive a guy who is 5.6 feet or maybe girls want a guy who is taller. Well I know some responses may be 'a guy must be loyal,caring etc' but my question is related with first impression. T...
A. 30 October 2012: my husband is about your height... since I 'm 5'2" he's perfect for me....
... (read in full...)
Why is he so interested to see the inside of my home? Does this mean he wants to get serious?
Q. Hello y'all , I have been dating a guy for a few months - close to 3, but I have known him for a while. We were friends before anything happend. Things seem to be going well, we don't text every day, more like every other and I see him once, so...
A. 30 October 2012: maybe he wants to check to make sure you are not hiding a husband.... or boyfriend or girlfriend even....
If i got to dating someone 1-2 times a week (if it includes saturday night especially yes) and plan to continue then it's got me inves... (read in full...)
Husband is away. I'm feeling horny. Should I give in and be unfaithful while my husband is away?
Q. Am a girl of 26 married with two kids. My husband traveled out of the country a year and 5 months now I don't know when he will be coming back. The problem is that am feeling lonely and horny, many guys do comes around to have sex with me, wh...
A. 30 October 2012: do not cheat.
if your husband is gone nearly 18 months when is he coming back... if you have regular contact with him and the marriage is still good then you must wait...
if the marriage is bad then divorce him....... (read in full...)
I can't stay wet during sex
Q. I have a problem, I can't stay wet when I have sex. I get really wet before hand then after 5 minutes I get really dry. Help?!...
A. 29 October 2012: lube is helpful... i suggest spending a bit more and getting the silicon based lubes... they last longer than water based and I think they feel more natural as well...... (read in full...)
If your 15 year old daughter had a boyfriend, how would you react?
Q. Okay, so i am 15, and i want to tell my mom about my boyfriend. If your daughter came to you and told you this, how would you react? How would you want to be told?...
A. 29 October 2012: I did not want my daughter dating till 16 as my parents were with me... when I went to them at 15 1/2 with my 17 yr old boyfriend they relented... and I dated him for 2 1/2 years..
my stepdaughter... I let her date a boy but not be alone with him... (read in full...)
Married user man vs nice guy
Q. Hi, I have been in an affair with a colleague of mine for about 5 months now. He told me he is having a really tough time with his fiance that he has known for 10 years and lived together with. They are separated now and live in different states. ...
A. 28 October 2012: For me it's a no brainer... dump the engaged guy...
and give the other guy a chance.
if you can't dump the lying cheating engaged guy... stop doing things for him... no cooking, no sex... and no paying for anything... and see what happens... (read in full...)
Is it normal to get on so well with a mother in law?
Q. I am getting married in six months to my boyfriend of 4 years. I have known my fiancé since we were toddlers, and know his parents for almost as long. His parents like me a lot, and mine like him. I get on really we with my (soon to be) mother i...
A. 28 October 2012: Announced on CBS Sunday Morning just today It's MOTHER IN LAW day here in the states... who knew..
fully 50% of those polled said they liked their mother in law a lot..
my last MIL was a very good friend of mine... I used to go shopping ... (read in full...)
Am I drinking to the point where my caffeine intake is too high? I've switched to black tea now. is that better for my health?
Q. I used to buy coffee from [biggest coffee chain in America] every day. I got hooked on the caffeine. The expenses were adding up so I switched to black tea by the same company which was cheaper. Now I buy black tea in bulk from supermarkets (10...
A. 28 October 2012: tea can actually have more caffeine than coffee if you brew it strongly enough...
one cup of caffeine laced drink a day won't hurt you.
I drink coffee every day... usually 2-3 cups of it before i switch to decaf.
I also drink HERBAL tea. ... (read in full...)
She created a fake profile to talk with him after telling me she'd deleted him...
Q. true issues. please help she made a fake profile on Facebook to talk to a guy behind my back, what should i do? Long story short, we had some trust issues because of this guy, she said she would block and delete him, she did that, then recently...
A. 28 October 2012: does not matter why she did it to be honest.
what matters is that she did it.
that she lied
that you clearly are not her best friend that she knows she's doing something wrong and instead of discussing what she needs/wants with you... (read in full...)
My wife has been keeping secrets from me. What did she do in Vegas?
Q. My wife and I were in Venice sitting on a hotel balcony overlooking the Grand Canal. We were joined by 2 girls in their mid 20s and a boy about the same age. Conversation let to what our favorite city was. When my wife's turn came she stated h...
A. 26 October 2012: I don't think she's had sex.... not really.
Drinking
smoking
gambling
staying out to all hours of the night
eating badly
generally just having fun.....
why in the world would you just from hearing the statement think that she's havi... (read in full...)
We dated for a year. Then were told we're related. Is it wrong to stay together?
Q. I have been talking to this guy a year now and he's everything I wanted in a man. After the year was up we were told we were related. That hurt me to the core. We care for each other so much. Is it wrong to not let go? I wish I would have known...
A. 26 October 2012: Related how? brother and sister?
cousins?
aunt and uncle?
HOW you are related matters...... (read in full...)
I want to be friends, he wants a FWB
Q. This may be odd...but i need help. I met this guy at the beginning of my senior year, same age as me, and we obviously liked each other. We hung out once at his house and chilled and almost kissed. Then a week later he got into a relationship that ...
A. 26 October 2012: why would you want to keep him as a friend if all he wants is sex?
if all he sees you as is his masturbatory device then he has no respect for you.
if you are hanging out at his place STOP IT. And do NOT invite him to your place. ONLY han... (read in full...)
Should I choose a different Doctor? When I met the new Doctor I realised that I've slept with him and his wife. He was professional when I saw him recently.
Q. Okay this is an odd thing that happened to me, I went to the doctors because I have been having some bad neck pains so I just randomly picked a doctor and when I finally meet the doctor I actually know him and have slept with him and his wife when I ...
A. 26 October 2012: you were professional as was he.
did you pick him because of his qualifications?
if so, do you have a different doctor in mind that is as qualified?
are you bothered by it or are you more worried that he is?... (read in full...)
Why would an almost stranger go through my bag in these circumstances?
Q. This is a very little matter indeed, but I come to you to find out (or confirm) if it is weird. I'm working with a family - a Father and daughter... they have asked me to adapt their daughter's book that she wrote when she was 6 into a play. Alr...
A. 26 October 2012: My own husband does not go through my purse! My bag of stuff is my bag of stuff.
I would be immensely freaked out... I would feel violated if a stranger (and he is a stranger in this respect) went through my purse. especially to find chapstic... (read in full...)
Why can't I ever orgasm? I have to fake it every time, even though I want to orgasm.
Q. So, I don't know much about other women's experiences, but everyone knows that guys sometimes (out of nervousness or shyness etc) can't get it up, if you know what I mean. I know that women don't have 'ahem's' ...but can they get the same sort of ...
A. 26 October 2012: Do you have orgasms when you masturbate? IF so then you are perfectly normal.
does he perform oral on you?
is there enough foreplay going on to get you ready.
less than 30% of women will orgasm from penetration so if you are ex... (read in full...)
Is my friend enabling her son? Should she talk to a professional?
Q. I have a friend whose adult son is having a lot of issues. Basically he is living on the streets and has troubles with his family, etc. My friend is sending her son money to help him out. I think it sounds like she's enabling his bad behavior, so...
A. 26 October 2012: IF her friend is a professional and is able to be detached and give the hard answers then it's fine.
And since we don't know why he's on the streets we don't know if sending him money is a wise idea or not...
I have a disabled adult ch... (read in full...)
Does he take me for granted? Am I not a Priority in his life? NO birthday present from him either!!
Q. Hi all, I need a little help trying to decipher my boyfriend's behaviour over the weekend. We have been together for 6 months and are in a long distance relationship. He is sweet and has had a tough year with his dad dying and moving house a...
A. 26 October 2012: I would leave it alone
AND when he contacts you (or attempts it) I'd be too busy.
IF you can't bring yourself to block his number, his email and his facebook, then you set yourself up for knowing when he comes a knocking looking for sex.... (read in full...)
I'm embarassed about how I look - should I cancel my date?
Q. Hello Everyone, I met a guy online a week ago, and we hit it off really well, and have now started speaking via mobile phone, he seems nice and there seems to be a positive connection. We've scheduled to meet each other for the first time next Sa...
A. 26 October 2012: He may have been caught up in the moment and enjoying himself and that's why he said he would call again.... then after he thought about it, he realized he's just not that into you...
he stills should have contacted you to let you know where h... (read in full...)
Torn by family loyalties...
Q. I would like to get advice on something family and money related. I have a job working full time with a decent salary. My family has a small business which they are struggling with. They have asked me for money several times in the last 2 years. I ...
A. 25 October 2012: what do you mean they take it? You mean you GIVE IT TO THEM.
JUST SAY NO. it's not your place to support other healthy adults...
... (read in full...)
Will he EVER leave her for me...?
Q. I'm starting to fall for someone I met though work but I'm not sure if I am being silly thinking he will leave his girlfriend for me. When we first started chatting as friends he told me he lives with his girlfriend and their young son but he...
A. 25 October 2012: in a word YES...
here's the deal... he goes home to her. he sleeps in her bed probably does have sex with her because if they were that miserable one of them would leave.
Having left a man when I had two small sons and no job I can ... (read in full...)
After 5 years he's still putting off us moving in together. Is this relationship going anywhere?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and we are both 24 years old. We get on well most of the time and love each other a lot. I have my own house but he still lives at home with his mum. I'm getting to a point in my life where i am ...
A. 25 October 2012: IF you don't want to break up then I have very few options for you.
at 24 I had been married two years and gave birth to my first child...
The man you are with is NOT ready and you are.
you have several options
1. end the relationship... (read in full...)
Do I choose to love the one I'm with? Or the exLDR who loves me but doesn't want an LDR again?
Q. Hello everyone. Any answers at all are so appreciated! I have been in an LDR for 2 years now. It's working fine. Before my current boyfriend I had a different LDR but with a guy who I had never met. I broke up with this guy before we got to mee...
A. 25 October 2012: Torn between two lovers.....
an old song from before your time...
the story does not change.
It is MY understanding of the world from PERSONAL experience... that NO ONE can be tempted to be
a. emotionally involved or
b. physically inv... (read in full...)
Should I Trust My Husband? Am I Wrong For FeelingThis Way?
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost 28 years. I have always trusted him because and have never suspected him cheating on me. Lately he has upset me because of some of the things he has done. One example occurred several years ago when s...
A. 25 October 2012: does not sit well with me....
why aren't YOU going too?
the key is this it's YOUR travel trailer. he stays in it and single women stay in it with him.
it's not like they all went to Vegas and got hotel rooms.
next weekend we ha... (read in full...)
It's beyond me. What kind of help does my wife need about her fetish? She seems to want to get sick. I'm at a loss. Does she need help?
Q. I'm 31, my wife's 28, and recently she's developed a new fetish. She's become hooked on getting a stomach-ache having read webforums and sites about 'stomachache fetishes', and eats a lot of rich food in order to get it. She keeps going on a...
A. 25 October 2012: I thought I had heard it all... I've never heard of this.
why would anyone want to give themselves a tummy ache?
and when she gets one what happens? I mean who WANTS to have sex on a full stomach?
Personally if it's not im... (read in full...)
Does he take me for granted? Am I not a Priority in his life? NO birthday present from him either!!
Q. Hi all, I need a little help trying to decipher my boyfriend's behaviour over the weekend. We have been together for 6 months and are in a long distance relationship. He is sweet and has had a tough year with his dad dying and moving house a...
A. 14 October 2012: you are in love with what you want him to be and what you want the relationship to be.
while he has had a lot going on he's also making it clear you are not important enough to nurture the relationship. It may be due to depression in which ca... (read in full...)
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