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| | *o_Very_Confused's profile:I've got the life experience to be wise for others, not so wise for myself. A degree in psych doesn't hurt either. So when I respond to people while I may just give advice, I'm more inclined to ask you questions that make you think and make you HURT and figure out what to do....
Choices I make are made on years of experience and may not be the best choices for YOU but what I do and what I advise may be two different things. Like I've said I KNOW what's the BEST thing to do and do not always choose to do what's BEST for me.
My primary interests include age gap relationships where the woman is older than the man... I am 13 years older than my future husband... I am also currently very interested in 12 step programs and addiction and recovery
and Long distance relationships...
I also understand alternative lifestyles as I was a "swinger" in my last marriage and I am a bisexual woman although currently I am just with my one male partner by choice...
NEVER STAY WHERE YOU ARE UNHAPPY NO MATTER WHAT. DO not make the same mistakes I made.
Rules:
IF YOU HAVE AN UNEASY FEELING IT'S FOR A GOOD REASON.. listen to that little voice
NEVER EVER trust a liar. IF they lied once, they could lie again. IF you dont' trust them there's a reason for it. LISTEN to it.
IF you have to ASK if you should leave... just do it.
We don't know WHY someone did something... only why WE would do it... so you have to ASK THEM.
IF you are afraid to ASK your PARTNER anything.. it's not a good relationship and you should probably end it.
IF he only calls when he's horny at 2 am you are a booty call nothing more....
Old cliches:
Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place
Do as I say not as I do |
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| Latest articles: How to get many answers to your question.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 November 2012: So many times folks submit good questions but, get few answers. It's very frustrating to have an important topic you need advice on and not be able to get it. While talking with friends is easy to get to what you need, asking in written form can...
Am I Co-Dependent?
No replies yet... 24 October 2012: So often folks will ask "am I co-dependent" or will label someone "co-dependent" There was a period of time that it was the "popular" diagnosis of mental health disorders. I often wondered if I myself was co-dependent. I read many books ...
Is my Long Distance Relationship worth it?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 December 2011: Being in a relationship where you have regular face to face contact is difficult enough. Being in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is more difficult. Local Relationships (LRs) require a few things; Honesty, Trust, Commitment, and ...
How you can tell someone loves you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 November 2011: So many times we see folks here saying "I know he loves me he tells me he does all the time" “But” I want to scream, “but how does he SHOW you he loves you” because I learned that WORDS without ACTIONS are meaningless. A partner that says “I lo...
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
This question has 24 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 September 2011: Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
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Swept off my feet to be dropped on my butt
Q. Am I insane? I met a guy on match.com. We messaged eachother at the same time. He was stationed in afghanistan and would be home in two months. He was in special forces (i won't say what but it is pretty badass). we exchanged texts and emails d...
A. 5 April 2013: OP I know you feel bad but this really is NOT personal. It’s hard to understand how it can’t be about you and what you did or did not do but his behavior is his and it’s his problem and NOT a reflection on you.
One of my favorite relation... (read in full...)
Is this sexual tension? Or something genuine?
Q. Hi, A few weeks ago I was out with work colleagues at a bar to celebrate finishing a job. One of the guys with us , I have grown close to and we spend hours chatting (just general silly meaningless conversations) through mail , I was sat next to ...
A. 23 March 2013: So you know he's older but not sure by how much...
and you like him and want to get to know him better...
as long as there are no rules against dating co-workers and you are willing to run the risk of working there with him if it doesn't w... (read in full...)
A girl sent my boyfriend naked pics, what should I do?
Q. Hello everyone. My boyfriend and I have a really close relationship and we're always honest about everything. Well, this past weekend my boyfriend let me know that a girl sent him some naked pictures of herself. Which honestly I wasn't too shocked ...
A. 20 March 2013: You can't control other people or their behavior.
If you trust your boyfriend then that's all you need and he will do the right thing... he will delete the pictures and tell her they were inappropriate and not to send them again
if they w... (read in full...)
My dilemma is, should I remain friends, talk, text and see each other, to rebuild a trust. Or tell her it's too hard and stop trying?
Q. My first post here. I've been searching the web to get some peace of mind for some months now. Still at it. So here's my story. I'll try and summarize as best as I can. My ex g/f is 5 years my senior. We met 1 year ago and we dated for 5 month...
A. 20 March 2013: Does not matter how you feel about her...the update does NOT change my mind.... YOU need to go no contact and let her go or you will never get over this and you will continue to hurt.... (read in full...)
Swept off my feet to be dropped on my butt
Q. Am I insane? I met a guy on match.com. We messaged eachother at the same time. He was stationed in afghanistan and would be home in two months. He was in special forces (i won't say what but it is pretty badass). we exchanged texts and emails d...
A. 20 March 2013: OP... please feel free to PM me.
I think you may be over thinking this.
IMO, he TRIED. maybe he tried TOO Hard and too fast.
I often have found in cases like this that the "flash and burn" kind of relationships have this happen. ... (read in full...)
I never thought a long distance relationship would be so hard!
Q. Hello everyone, first of all, I really want to thank you for your time and good will to help. :) I've been in a long distance relationship for 2 months now. The last time I saw my boyfriend was a month ago. The problem is - I just miss him so much!...
A. 19 March 2013: OP I saw your follow up after I posted If you need to have a partner that is close to you and available 24/7 then you are not cut out for an LDR. Some folks aren't. There is no shame in it. ... (read in full...)
My American wife has accused me of getting married for a Green Card, what should I do now?
Q. 6 months ago , I got married to US citizen in Pakistan. We met through dating site and after four months she came to Pakistan to marry me. After honeymoon,once she got back to US, she filled Spouse Visa Petition for me. One month ago, we had a ...
A. 19 March 2013: OP why does SHE have to terminate the marriage? why can't you?... (read in full...)
I want to have an open marriage but don't know how to discuss it with my husband
Q. I know I will probably hear a lot comments like just leave him, and find someone else. But that's not why I m telling you my story. The thing is that I am more and more think about having an open kind of relationship with my husband. I know ...
A. 19 March 2013: OP I see your update (again not highlighted in yellow) and I truly do understand what you are saying. here's the catch... MOST people (especially women) cannot separate sex and feelings. IF you begin a sanctioned affair, the possibility exist... (read in full...)
What is it about a short man that women find so disgusting?
Q. I have been rejected by a few girls and have lost heart. My track record keeps me from trying as I have no reason to believe I will succeed. I have been aware that women do not find short men attractive and recently i have been following "expos...
A. 19 March 2013: "I no longer make an effort" well then why should folks even bother with you if you can't bother to make an effort? I think you do make an effort and you feel that it's not worth it hence: "i just don't care anymore" YES YOU DO or you... (read in full...)
Swept off my feet to be dropped on my butt
Q. Am I insane? I met a guy on match.com. We messaged eachother at the same time. He was stationed in afghanistan and would be home in two months. He was in special forces (i won't say what but it is pretty badass). we exchanged texts and emails d...
A. 19 March 2013: OP i see your follow up... (its not marked as one) thank you for the rest of the story. I didn't think he was married I don't think he used you and I don't think that you sleeping with him is what ended it. I have seen his type before.... (read in full...)
I'm really falling for him again, but the problem is that he is still with his girlfriend.
Q. Hi! So this is a very long story about and old crush. In 2009 I met this guy and I totally crushed on him for about 2 years in total. I never told him how I felt, but we were both really great friends. He once asked me out but I took at as a j...
A. 19 March 2013: He has a girlfriend. IF you were his girlfriend what would you want him to do?
He's deleting the conversations and keeping you a dirty secret from everyone because he's lying to his GF and clearly is emotionally cheating on her.
You ... (read in full...)
My dilemma is, should I remain friends, talk, text and see each other, to rebuild a trust. Or tell her it's too hard and stop trying?
Q. My first post here. I've been searching the web to get some peace of mind for some months now. Still at it. So here's my story. I'll try and summarize as best as I can. My ex g/f is 5 years my senior. We met 1 year ago and we dated for 5 month...
A. 19 March 2013: I'm sorry I only skimmed your question..
she's keeping you on the back burner just in case.
for your own peace of mind and sanity I would end the friendship and go no contact (block her phone, her email and her social media accounts)
y... (read in full...)
How do I get someone I care about to stop smoking?
Q. I need some serious help. I feel like such a terrible person because I can't control my own emotions. Recently my friend started smoking and its crushed me, I've cried everyday since, just knowing he does it upsets me and I'd give anything in...
A. 19 March 2013: YOU can't make him quit.
In fact, pestering him about it will only destroy your friendship.
I understand your feelings.
My mother, her sister, and her mother all died from lung cancer. I quit smoking way back in 1995.
My husband smok... (read in full...)
I never thought a long distance relationship would be so hard!
Q. Hello everyone, first of all, I really want to thank you for your time and good will to help. :) I've been in a long distance relationship for 2 months now. The last time I saw my boyfriend was a month ago. The problem is - I just miss him so much!...
A. 19 March 2013: LDRS are very very hard. LDRS for teens are nearly impossible. LDRS require
Trust
Communication
Honesty
Patience
MONEY
TIME
A PLAN TO END THE DISTANCE
I’m going to address MONEY ,TIME and ending the distance.
You need MO... (read in full...)
Why does my g/f say she'll have sex and then change her mind?
Q. my girl friend never shows any inetrest in sex , i can leave mentioning sex for months.. she dosent say a word. Then once in a while she will say we can have sex tonight but then drops her plans with out saying a word! She never gives me a reason.. ...
A. 19 March 2013: Is your gf about your age? How long have you been together? How is everything else in the relationship?
You say you can go without sex, your issue is the promise of sex (and the anticipation) and then the disappointment when she ‘changes her mind... (read in full...)
How do you break up when you live together? How could I try and make our relationship better? Am I overreacting?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, but I have been not very happy in our relationship for a few months. I suffer from depression and feel very angry and sad a lot of the time, and my partner is the one who has to deal with it. ...
A. 19 March 2013: I love what KC has said… and can’t really improve on it but I will add these things:
1. You are depressed. YOU MUST TREAT this and get this under control before you do anything. DO NOT MAKE LIFE ALTERING decisions while depressed. See a doctor... (read in full...)
Why is she blocking then unblocking me?
Q. A girl I was pursuing blocked me at whatsapp but not at facebook and later four five days passed and she unblocked me suddenly. Why? Little background : I met this girl and she thought I was weird at first and later, she asked me for a coffee to...
A. 19 March 2013: she asked you out and found out you were not what she expected.....
you played a game (ignoring her because you wanted her to text first is GAME PLAYING)
if you like her and want to date her then find her and tell her otherwise just forget it a... (read in full...)
I keep forgetting not to expect any favors from him!
Q. Dear Cupid Whenever i ask my bf of 3 yrs for a favours like picking me up from office or doing some errands for me, he will pick up a fight and stop talking to me for days. I have to beg him to talk to me. I stopped asking him for any help or favo...
A. 19 March 2013: Dear OP,
you say you have to BEG him to talk to you after you ask him for a favor and he will pick a fight because he does not wish to do it.
Do you think this is normal and acceptable behavior?
Would you continue to be friends with a per... (read in full...)
He knows I like him, and I wonder why he hasn't talked to me or asked me out!
Q. I've liked a friend of mine for a while. He isn't looking for a relationship but he knows I like him according to his best friend. I see him everyday, I go to his house to see his sister, I have time alone with him every week. I know he's never ha...
A. 19 March 2013: Let's start with this
he isn't looking for a relationship.
HE knows you like him... because his best friend said so... but you have never talked to him about it so he only knows second hand...
you see him every day and you say you have tim... (read in full...)
I am questioning whether my boyfriend is a faithful guy.
Q. I've wondered whether my boyfriend is a faithful person. I always notice inconsistencies in his stories concerning his past relationships. Like he has told me about a girl he dated for five years, and I remember the time frame that he said he dated...
A. 19 March 2013: The past is the past. If he was a cheater in the past, it does not mean he is a cheater now although it would give you more reason to be vigilant.
I sense you are trying to catch him in lies…. He may not truly remember… I don’t remember... (read in full...)
We are fine, until we go out with friends...
Q. So I have been with my girl friend for 17 months now. We are perfect for one another when we are alone, we both feel like we are weird in our own way and it is rare to find people who get me. I do love her but recently some of her actions are making ...
A. 19 March 2013: You resent things she does in public?
You punish her by not being affectionate in public because of your (NOT IMPORTANT) ex partners. WOW… so she gets punished because of stuff other people you choose NOT to be with did in the past. That... (read in full...)
How do I make him regret leaving me?
Q. my boyfrnd left me for no having sex i am a muslim and my religion doesnt allows sex before marriage what should i say to him so that he remebers it all his lifee and regrets wat he did with mee after promising soo man times that he wont leave me or ...
A. 19 March 2013: Living well is the best thing you can do.
To be honest you did the right thing being true to yourself and your choices
A boy or man who tries to bully you into doing what you don't want is no prize.
There is nothing you can do or sa... (read in full...)
What is the difference between loving and being in love?
Q. I am curious to have others view on this. What is the difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone? ...
A. 19 March 2013: Oh this question... this eternal question...
I love my kids.
I love my dad
I love my friends
I love my husband
I also love bacon and ice cream (although not necessarily together)
I understand what you are asking OP but it's so hard to ex... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is calling me selfish because I have no emotional connection with my biological son. It's not even her child so I can't understand why she's bringing this issue up
Q. My girlfriend is calling me selfish because I have no emotional connection with my biological son. I told her about the situation 3 weeks into the relationship but now over a year later she is bringing it up and pressuring me into getting back in ...
A. 19 March 2013: Sending an email to him via his mother... he never saw it trust me.
While the mother sounds like a piece of work, the obligation is to the child.
I personally would not be comfortable being serious with a man who could walk away from his ow... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him about our cuddling while we slept in the same bed?
Q. I have a friend that I have known for 3 years we almost dated once, but chose to be friends and its made our friendship pretty strong. The other night I was visiting him at his house and he told me I could sleep over if I want. I made the choice to ...
A. 19 March 2013: tell him the next time you see him and are in a private place
"hey I really liked the cuddle and I really like YOU"
"and best friends make the best partners... what say you?"
YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE RISK.... or you will always wonder.
... (read in full...)
What is my ex up to? Is he just playing games with me?
Q. So my ex and I have been broken up for a couple months now..and he was my first official bf. We texted last week and he brought some stuff up when I asked what he was up to, he mentioned "I was sitting in the garage with my dad, and we saw this guy ...
A. 19 March 2013: he wants to get laid
stop being "friends" with ex boyfriends... there is no need to be anything more than civil and friendly when you run into him... nothing more.
... (read in full...)
My American wife has accused me of getting married for a Green Card, what should I do now?
Q. 6 months ago , I got married to US citizen in Pakistan. We met through dating site and after four months she came to Pakistan to marry me. After honeymoon,once she got back to US, she filled Spouse Visa Petition for me. One month ago, we had a ...
A. 19 March 2013: I googled it
http://travel.state.gov/law/family_issues/marriage/marriage_589.html
In general, marriages which are legally performed and valid abroad are also legally valid in the United States. Inquiries regarding the validity of a marria... (read in full...)
I want to have an open marriage but don't know how to discuss it with my husband
Q. I know I will probably hear a lot comments like just leave him, and find someone else. But that's not why I m telling you my story. The thing is that I am more and more think about having an open kind of relationship with my husband. I know ...
A. 19 March 2013: I get it. I do. I came from an open marriage. I ended up letting my now ex husband go and marrying the "boy toy"
so even if your marriage is OPEN it does NOT protect it from failure.
Do you want to stay in the marriage because you don'... (read in full...)
What to do? I love her, I just don't want to spend the rest of my life with her. And I don't want to hurt her!
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 18 months. We have had an amazing relationship, the best relationship I've ever had, but I do not feel that she is "the one". I don't truly believe there is a "one", but no matter what way I spell it out i...
A. 19 March 2013: You’re right you do sound daft by thinking you are the bad guy if you set her free to find her true love. GAWD how selfish of you. It’s clear you DON’T love her as her comfort and happiness would be the most important thing to you in this case, ... (read in full...)
I'm confused...am I a virgin or not?
Q. I was in a relationship 1year back but that guy ditched me very badly. We once tried to have sex. That time he didnt enter me compltely but I was having some pain when he started entring me therefore I ask him to stop and remove from inside me. ...
A. 19 March 2013: IF he entered you at all, then TECHNICALLY you are not a virgin.
... (read in full...)
What is it about a short man that women find so disgusting?
Q. I have been rejected by a few girls and have lost heart. My track record keeps me from trying as I have no reason to believe I will succeed. I have been aware that women do not find short men attractive and recently i have been following "expos...
A. 19 March 2013: I’ll start with this short men are NOT disgusting.
What is “disgusting” is a man that lacks confidence for whatever reason he deems himself unworthy to date.
This OP is your biggest problem. Not your height, your self-percept... (read in full...)
Is it me or him? I am sick of begging for sex. How can he be 23 and have such a low sex drive?
Q. I’m older than him. He is 23 and I am older. So if you are the kind of person who doesn’t understand the older woman, younger man relationship doesn't respond I’m looking for help and information. Not “advice” that’s not going to help me, at a...
A. 19 March 2013: OP your follow up tells me something important HE IS NOT WORKING. For men in general work is very much part of their makeup. Contributing to running the home financially is important to most men.
IF he is not working perhaps that’s h... (read in full...)
My parents are getting nasty because they'll never have grandchildren
Q. I've got a major problem with both my parents. They are acting like wankas. They think just because they brought me into the world and raised me, that I owe them something. Why do parents have this belief that they are "owed something"? My brothe...
A. 19 March 2013: Dear Bruce Lee,
I totally respect your desire not to have children. Your follow up clarifies why your parents are “nasty” about it. Your rationale behind why you don’t want kids is mired in depression and self-pity.
I have many friends who... (read in full...)
Should I send Valentines cards to the 2 girls that I like?
Q. I am becoming more confident in asking girls out, but I'm not sure about these, so I need some advice: The girl who does my massage has a great personality and is very sexy. I have had feelings for her for a while now, and when I go and see her w...
A. 19 March 2013: If you are not sure if she is single the BEST way to find out is to ASK HER...
... (read in full...)
How many things should you have in common?
Q. Hey guys, I'm just wondering but in a relationship, how much things should you have I'm common with? Should you "think" the same way and have every interest or hobbies the same to make it work...
A. 19 March 2013: Religion can be a deal breaker especially when it comes to raising children.
Based on the scenario you provide, I"m not sure how much of a problem it will be if you and the bf are of the same religion and level of observance does not dictate ... (read in full...)
Why does he lie to me? How can I marry this man in two months?
Q. I really need help. Its no secret to my fiance that I don't trust him. I have talked to him about being honest and earning my trust back. But he continues to lie to my fsce. I give him every chance to be honest. Why does he lie to me? How can I ...
A. 18 March 2013: funsize, counseling takes a long time to work. If you marry him in May you may find a year from now in counseling that his issues are insurmountable and you will want out... a divorce is so much more difficult and expensive vs. a breakup.... (read in full...)
How many things should you have in common?
Q. Hey guys, I'm just wondering but in a relationship, how much things should you have I'm common with? Should you "think" the same way and have every interest or hobbies the same to make it work...
A. 18 March 2013: oh wouldn't that be so boring to think exactly the same and like exactly the same things all the time. My husband and i have very little in common... we met doing our favorite hobby (board gaming) but other than that... not much we l... (read in full...)
I need to protect my child from the stranger that is her father. Advice?
Q. Had a one night stand with complete stranger five years ago. That night resulted in a baby. I informed the guy i was pregnant but he cut all contact with me. Now i knew his name, address, where he worked and stuff about his life because there was a ...
A. 18 March 2013: BUT she's not a car... she's a person with her own mind and her own feelings.
I strongly suggest for your own peace of mind you consult a reputable child psychologist and get their professional opinon on how to handle this so that your long te... (read in full...)
My American wife has accused me of getting married for a Green Card, what should I do now?
Q. 6 months ago , I got married to US citizen in Pakistan. We met through dating site and after four months she came to Pakistan to marry me. After honeymoon,once she got back to US, she filled Spouse Visa Petition for me. One month ago, we had a ...
A. 18 March 2013: You have already posted about suing her right?
isn't this you: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-sue-my-us-wife-for-defamation.html
now you want to figure out how to keep her?
so which is it you want to sue her and punish her or... (read in full...)
A girl sent my boyfriend naked pics, what should I do?
Q. Hello everyone. My boyfriend and I have a really close relationship and we're always honest about everything. Well, this past weekend my boyfriend let me know that a girl sent him some naked pictures of herself. Which honestly I wasn't too shocked ...
A. 18 March 2013: so some random girl out of the blue sent your boyfriend naked pictures of her.
He's not having any contact with her at all right? not friends on facebook, no texting... NOTHING.. he doesn't even know her and has NO CLUE why she picked him to s... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for being upset my girlfriend didn't prepare ahead of time to make time to see me before she goes away?
Q. general question. would you guys be frustrated if your girlfriend/boyfriend was going out of town for a week and you had planned in advance to spend the night before together, but it took them FOREVER to finally come over? my girlfriend has k...
A. 18 March 2013: oh well wait... if her consistent pattern is to cancel plans at the last minute you have a bigger issue....
Personally I would grow tired of someone canceling plans on a regular basis and I'd stop making plans with them.... (read in full...)
My parents are getting nasty because they'll never have grandchildren
Q. I've got a major problem with both my parents. They are acting like wankas. They think just because they brought me into the world and raised me, that I owe them something. Why do parents have this belief that they are "owed something"? My brothe...
A. 18 March 2013: You are right that you have every right to make the choice whether to have a family or not.
And yet as a NON-grandparent (my kids are not cooperating either) I can understand your parents' pain and disappointment. I would LOVE at least ON... (read in full...)
Is my BF genuinely getting a divorce or keeping as his mistress
Q. My bf's story...he met this girl she got pregnant they got married and before the baby was born she cheated on him, he tried to stay with her for the baby but he just couldn't deal with her anymore so now they are going through divorce and soon they ...
A. 18 March 2013: “soon they are going to fight for custody”
Umm.. not a good sign… usually the custody battle is during the divorce. And in the USA the dad needs serious grounds to win custody.
“my bf told me so many things about her that he FEELS”
... (read in full...)
I was told my coworker was married but he adamantly says he's been single for 6 months.
Q. So I recently started a new job and instantly became attracted to one of my co workers, we spoke he said he was single and asked me out. I got speaking to one of the girls and she told me he was married. I then told him I wasn't interested as he...
A. 18 March 2013: he's separated not single. He's not telling anyone... clearly its not a resolved issue with his wife.
My dad and mom separated for a bit... dad even had his own place. they worked it out and got back together and lived happily ever after...... (read in full...)
Is this sexual tension? Or something genuine?
Q. Hi, A few weeks ago I was out with work colleagues at a bar to celebrate finishing a job. One of the guys with us , I have grown close to and we spend hours chatting (just general silly meaningless conversations) through mail , I was sat next to ...
A. 18 March 2013: Is he married or otherwise involved with someone?
... (read in full...)
Do I tell my girlfriend about my past?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months now and it has been going great. I work in a different state but travel often to see her and will be seeing her in a month. In one of our recent conversations a topic i am not comfortable with ...
A. 18 March 2013: OH I really like this:
"The rules are: You have the right to refuse to talk about any/all of your past. But you don't have the right to tell lies or say misleading things. "
so true... you do not have the right to lie or mislead...
good... (read in full...)
Why was he lying? I am so confused and heartbroken!
Q. heyy ...i need your advise please i know my story will be long but if u have the patience please read it ...thank you. so i was in a relationship with this guy for a year. in the relationship there was passion extreme love...but there wasnt trust fr...
A. 18 March 2013: I have no clue why he's lying. I do know it's NOT because of ANYTHING YOU DID OR DID NOT DO.
If you don't trust him now, you probably never will.
Even if you think you love him (and what part of the reality of him do you love... really ... (read in full...)
How to go about confused situation of my new relationship
Q. I am interested in a guy I have met through a matrimonial site, I have never seen him in person as he lives abroad for work. Since, we have talked on phone and chatted on the internet, I feel like he is very close to the ideal man i imagine ...
A. 18 March 2013: I’m not sure what you mean by a matrimonial site, but if the goal is marriage and he’s not equipped to marry at this time (due to finances and not being over his ex) then why is he on the site?
Here is my take on meeting folks online… it’s fine as l... (read in full...)
I know I have to move on, alone with my child. Because I stayed with him before and my child was taken away. How Do I find the strength to move on?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years and I have had more hurtful situation occur than any one couple ever should. At 2 months our daughter was removed from our custody. It was caused from him drinking and my choosing to stay with him. We together tried to get...
A. 18 March 2013: Step ONE... get thee to Al-anon ASAP....seek support there to cope with being the partner of an alcoholic.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/how-to-find-a-meeting
Step Two... accept that your love is not enough (our love never is) and that y... (read in full...)
I need to protect my child from the stranger that is her father. Advice?
Q. Had a one night stand with complete stranger five years ago. That night resulted in a baby. I informed the guy i was pregnant but he cut all contact with me. Now i knew his name, address, where he worked and stuff about his life because there was a ...
A. 18 March 2013: You told the baby daddy he was going to be a daddy and he bailed.
that was 5 years ago. People change.
The key is your responsibility to your daughter. She will want to know where daddy is, who daddy is and why daddy is not part of her l... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him about our cuddling while we slept in the same bed?
Q. I have a friend that I have known for 3 years we almost dated once, but chose to be friends and its made our friendship pretty strong. The other night I was visiting him at his house and he told me I could sleep over if I want. I made the choice to ...
A. 18 March 2013: Who wanted to date and which one of you opted to be just friends... that has a lot of bearing on my reply.
and what do you want now?
Personally, even if you are just friends if you got into his bed to sleep with him, it sends a signal..... (read in full...)
What to do? I love her, I just don't want to spend the rest of my life with her. And I don't want to hurt her!
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 18 months. We have had an amazing relationship, the best relationship I've ever had, but I do not feel that she is "the one". I don't truly believe there is a "one", but no matter what way I spell it out i...
A. 18 March 2013: Ugh this sucks doesn't it?
Have you told HER how you feel? IF not, and she's under the impression you two are moving towards a more committed permanent relationship you MUST tell her the truth ASAP
and yes it will hurt her no matter how g... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for being upset my girlfriend didn't prepare ahead of time to make time to see me before she goes away?
Q. general question. would you guys be frustrated if your girlfriend/boyfriend was going out of town for a week and you had planned in advance to spend the night before together, but it took them FOREVER to finally come over? my girlfriend has k...
A. 18 March 2013: it's just a week... you get to kiss her goodbye at the airport this morning....
some folks leave packing till the last minute... it's not a reflection on you or the relationship, it's just her style.... (read in full...)
Why does he lie to me? How can I marry this man in two months?
Q. I really need help. Its no secret to my fiance that I don't trust him. I have talked to him about being honest and earning my trust back. But he continues to lie to my fsce. I give him every chance to be honest. Why does he lie to me? How can I ...
A. 18 March 2013: If he is lying to you and you don't trust him, I can't say you should marry him.
My cousin many years ago canceled a wedding (her first so it was HUGE) less than 6 weeks before the ceremony... invitations had gone out, she had to CALL everyone... (read in full...)
Is it me or him? I am sick of begging for sex. How can he be 23 and have such a low sex drive?
Q. I’m older than him. He is 23 and I am older. So if you are the kind of person who doesn’t understand the older woman, younger man relationship doesn't respond I’m looking for help and information. Not “advice” that’s not going to help me, at a...
A. 17 March 2013: It's not you it's him. I know that does not help but if he has a lower sex drive than you, there is not much you can do.
I'm 53 and i could go most days.. .my 39 yr old hubby... not so much.... so we go weeks and months without any sexual c... (read in full...)
Do I tell my girlfriend about my past?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months now and it has been going great. I work in a different state but travel often to see her and will be seeing her in a month. In one of our recent conversations a topic i am not comfortable with ...
A. 15 March 2013: yes you must tell her but you also should have handy your most recent blood work showing you are STD free.
I also think you need to tell her exactly how you told us
that your past was from a different time and you wish you could take it b... (read in full...)
Should I send Valentines cards to the 2 girls that I like?
Q. I am becoming more confident in asking girls out, but I'm not sure about these, so I need some advice: The girl who does my massage has a great personality and is very sexy. I have had feelings for her for a while now, and when I go and see her w...
A. 14 February 2013: At least you know your taste runs to women with morals and ethics... telling you she's seeing someone is hard to hear but it means that she is loyal and trustworthy... says a lot for your taste in women.
BTW if it ends with her current fella, n... (read in full...)
Should I send Valentines cards to the 2 girls that I like?
Q. I am becoming more confident in asking girls out, but I'm not sure about these, so I need some advice: The girl who does my massage has a great personality and is very sexy. I have had feelings for her for a while now, and when I go and see her w...
A. 12 February 2013: well then maybe a card for the one girl and flowers and a card for the massage girl...
I only worry that the massage girl is nice to you as you are a client and that her personal feelings are not really there....... (read in full...)
Should I send Valentines cards to the 2 girls that I like?
Q. I am becoming more confident in asking girls out, but I'm not sure about these, so I need some advice: The girl who does my massage has a great personality and is very sexy. I have had feelings for her for a while now, and when I go and see her w...
A. 12 February 2013: a very small (like 2 or 3 pieces no more) box of chocolates might be ok... but NOTHING over the top...
I think it's nice to give cards to folks you see on a regular basis.... but yeah flowers should be saved for women you are involved wit... (read in full...)
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